Where are the mentors? They are us!
They are older women — in age, experience, or spiritual maturity. Unfortunately, too many of us seem to fear the concept of mentoring.
Yes, we may mentor a child at school. Yes, we may mentor through a “Big Sister” program. But, mentoring Biblical womanhood is counter-cultural. There is strong resistance. Obstacles stand in the way. There are two: the younger women and the older woman.
The younger woman is, quite honestly, the least problematic. Why? Because younger women naturally resist mentoring. The younger generation always considers itself more enlightened. It’s typical for a young woman to consider herself more progressive than her mother or grandmother and, therefore, want to leave “old ways” behind. Even when a younger woman is willing to learn some things from an older woman, she may still believe (as I’ve been told): “The culture is different than it was when you were my age.” Well, the culture is always different with every new generation. But, Truth never changes.
The greater obstacle to mentoring Biblical womanhood is the older woman. It is the older woman who resists the opportunity to mentor. Why? Maybe because we are afraid. Perhaps we’re afraid to mentor because it means we have to act our age. Perhaps we’re afraid to mentor because it means re-visiting our past mistakes and becoming vulnerable all over again. Perhaps we’re afraid to mentor because we fear rejection by younger women.
Some of us might be afraid because we are untrained. Perhaps no one mentored us with God’s Word. Perhaps we were led off the good path of life on painful and dangerous detours by older men and women we trusted more than God. Perhaps a parent, professor, friend or even a pastor that we trusted had been deceived by “silly myths” and passed them on to us. Out of respect for them, we may feel defensive about what they taught us. The ideas to which we cling. But, letting the light of God’s Word illuminate the dark corners of our minds, may we move out of a defensive posture. Lift up in prayer the person who passed wrong ideas on to us. Let go of “silly myths” and deception.
I’m a baby-boomer. Talk about a generation influenced by “silly myths!” My generation was raised with no boundaries; told to obsess on our bodies; dared to compete with men; and sent to the university where marriage, family, and the church were mocked and boldly dismantled.
The fact is, we can’t mentor if we’re afraid to act our age. If we don’t want to accept where we’re at in life. If we’re afraid to re-visit our past and acknowledge our failures. If we’re afraid of rejection. In other words, we can’t mentor if it’s all about me.
I can’t mentor if it’s all about me. My fears. My inabilities. My past. I can’t make a positive difference in my world if it’s all about me. I can, however, make a life-changing difference if I’m all about God. God’s Word. God’s Word in Jesus Christ. It is God’s Word that tells me who I am and why I exist. Trusting the Word, I don’t need to fear myself or the world.
As an older woman, I think God wants me to accept my age. My experiences. My failures. My disappointments. Then, making use of all of these, He wants me to warn. Train. Equip the younger women He places in my life. There is only one thing necessary for me to mentor: His Word. Trusting God’s Word and using it makes me wise. Willing. Confident. Less focused on self and more focused on others.
The world is not my friend. Recognizing this, I (and all older women) mentor with the Word of God. Away from “silly myths.” Toward hope.
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