Maura and Nichole don’t know about oxytocin. But, Matt doesn’t know about vasopressin. Women are not the only ones who bond during sexual intimacy.
Vasopressin is the neurochemical responsible for the male brain response and synaptic change. It plays a role in regulating blood pressure and, through its influence on kidney function, regulates fluid in the body. In relationships, vasopressin works to bond a man to a woman and create attachment to his offspring.
Vasopressin is often referred to as the “monogamy molecule.” Why? Because it appears to be the primary cause of a man’s attachment to a woman with whom he shares close and intimate physical contact. The God who creates and loves life has provided a way for the human race to survive. This “monogamy molecule” is important not just to create a bond with a woman, but with the children that come from that bond. In the healthy and selfless bond of husband and wife, children have a greater chance of being raised by two biological parents — both of whom are attached to those children. Such attachment provides sons and daughters with an increased chance of better health and a more hopeful future.
If Matt is physically intimate with a woman — wisely or unwisely — he can bond with her. If Matt is unwise in his choice, the bond may lead to a long-term, but unhealthy and destructive relationship. Bonding may tie Matt to a woman who disrespects or abuses him. It wouldn’t be unusual for Matt to keep going back to a woman who treats him poorly and, if asked, he wouldn’t know why he does it. Simply put, vasopressin floods a man’s brain (just like oxytocin floods a woman’s brain) and produces a partial bond with every sexual partner.
Men, like women, can become addicted to the “rush” of sexual intimacy. But, being sexually intimate with many women places at risk the vital ability to develop a healthy, long-term attachment to one woman. Studies show that the brain can “mold and gel” so that, in time, it begins accepting that particular sexual pattern as normal. Such a pattern, however, “seems to interfere with the development of the neurological circuits necessary for the long-term relationships that for most people result in stable marriages and family development. The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bond in a committed relationship.” (p. 43 of Hooked by Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr., M.D., and Freda McKissic Bush, M.D.)
“The inability to bond after multiple sexual encounters,” writes Drs. McIlhaney and McKissic Bush, “is almost like tape that loses its stickiness after being applied and removed multiple times.”
Matt’s brain is the most powerful sexual organ in his body. But, in keeping with God’s design, the brain needs to be used, molded and adapted in the right ways — for life — or, with wrong behavior, parts of it will wither and die. Perhaps, for this reason, God’s Word says in Deuteronomy 30:19-20:
I set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him . . .”
Shame on adults who tempt Matt. Who open the gates to adventures in sex, but fail to explain his “monogamy molecule.” Who keep from Matt God’s Word for life. Who ignore the lesson of the sticky tape.
Ezerwoman's Blog 