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#4 — Mentor a Changed Attitude
For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord (2 Corinthians 4:5).
Reflect Christ, not self. It is natural to default to self. We too easily focus on our needs and defend our behaviors. But it’s not about me! It’s about God our Creator and Redeemer! It’s not about first loving “me”; it’s about first loving God. Loving God first means that we will more easily love and serve others in His name and with His forgiveness, mercy and kindness. God created the first man and woman in His image. We have fallen from that perfect image, but because of what Jesus Christ has done for us, it is possible with the help of the Holy Spirit to reflect more of God and less of self. In what ways can we point people to God and less to ourselves? How does a woman who professes to worship God speak? Dress? Treat others? What kind of choices does she make? What does it mean to be free of the life that we thought would make us happy and to, instead, live life in a way that leads others to Christ?
Be a Vessel for Honorable Use. God’s Word tells us, “Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work” (2 Timothy 2:21). What is our house? Who is the “master of the house”? What is our “good work”? What more do we learn about ourselves in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20? What a difference it makes when we see ourselves as God sees us! Recognizing that our Baptism makes us daughters of God through Christ, we can “flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness” (2:22).
Practice a Changed Attitude. On brightly colored sticky notes, write: “It’s not about me”. Place this reminder on a mirror, in a wallet, by the sink, on the refrigerator, in the car, and inside the cover of a well-worn Bible. Jesus promised that He would send “another Helper” (John 14:16). That “Helper”, the Holy Spirit, “will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (14:26). That “Helper” is “the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me. And you also will bear witness” (15:26-27). When we believe that Jesus is Truth, how will our attitude and witness change?
Adjust Focus. Instead of fantasizing through the pages of romance novels (which, if played out in real life, should make us blush) or searching for our inner selves through “spiritual masters”, we can find our true identity and rightful behavior in Jesus Christ. Rather than being tempted by the ideas of others or our own passions, we can turn our eyes away from “irreverent, silly myths” and, instead, “train [ourselves] for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:7-8). Training in godliness begins at the foot of the Cross where, at the beginning and end of every day, we can leave our baggage of sin, disappointments, and wrong perspective. There, at the Cross, we can focus on Jesus who says, “I am the Way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).
Live a Holy, Not Sexy Life. God calls us to be holy (1 Thessalonians 4:7; 1 Peter 1:14-16). We can mentor others away from the self-focus of sensual dress by explaining our responsibility to help men avoid temptation. A suggested Bible study for girls ages 13 and up is Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up (#LFLDFL) available from CPH.
Resist the Idolatry of Self-Worship. Analyze words and phrases such as “self-worth”, “self-promotion”, “celebration of self”, and “self-esteem”. In the last days, writes St. Paul to Timothy, people will be lovers of self (2 Timothy 3:2). Spend a day with an “older” Christian woman whose life appears self-less. Ask: Is it necessary to preserve self? From where do we get our worth? Is there benefit in promoting self? Is there any reason to celebrate self? What do we learn from Christ? To “put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires” and to “be renewed in the spirit of your minds” and to “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:21-24).
Rebel Against the Culture. Help a younger generation turn from “me” to others. Gather a small group of women together for an “It’s Not About Me” night. Forget the pedicures and pampering. Instead, discuss what women can do to bring out the best in men by way of dress, speech and behavior. List the ways that women can help one another practice biblical womanhood and not be shamed in doing so. Design postcards that proclaim “It’s Not About Me” with 2 Corinthians 4:5 printed on each card. Finish off with stamping, calligraphy or artwork. Be of service through accountability by sending the cards to one another throughout the year.
What’s Next? #5: Mentor Self-Control
Ezer’s Handbook is a resource developed by
Linda Bartlett and presented at Titus 2 Retreats.
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