This culture seems bent to the will of a liar. Jesus knows who he is. Calls him what he is. “He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).
The father of lies comes often to our door. He doesn’t have to work very hard. He hisses, we listen. We listen because he appeals to our selfish desires. “Do this one thing and find happiness.” Or, “Determine what will make you happy and don’t let anything get in your way.” Believing the lie, we trip over ourselves to step into God’s place or, if we acknowledge Him at all, declare that He’s not relevant to our happiness.
The liar stood often before a woman named Traudi. But, to her last breath, she testified that God was not only real, but the very Source of her happiness. No matter what. In all circumstances. Whenever I think of Traudi, I am encouraged in my own battle with the lie. Traudi taught me that happiness isn’t what we create. It doesn’t come when our will is done. Happiness is often a surprise. What we least expect. A peace in the midst of a storm. Traudi appeared to have so little in life, yet so much spilled from hers to others. If ever I’ve seen anyone’s well replenished in the midst of drought, it was Traudi’s.
Traudi was a young girl in pre-war Austria. She grew up in a culture that believed it could find happiness if certain people were removed. She and I once compared The Holocaust to legalized abortion. I asked, “How could you and your family allow neighbors to be taken away to be murdered?” Her answer was sobering. When the lie is told often enough and we believe our happiness is at stake, “we blame those who might steal it away and do whatever we have to do.”
Traudi admitted being mesmerized by a man who used the lie to his advantage. “I once passed by Adolph Hitler,” Traudi told me. “When I looked him in the eye, I sensed a certain power.” An entire culture, in times of vulnerability, can succumb to the power of the lie. See it as some sort of salvation. Traudi helped me see what even people who call themselves by God’s name are capable of doing. Citizens of Traudi’s beloved Austria re-defined what they considered human and turned their backs on helpless neighbors. Were they so different from the Israelites who failed to trust God and, instead, believed the lie that claimed their firstborn children on the altar of Baal? Did they offer the blood sacrifice of one life so that another’s might be better. Richer. Happier.
The war ended, but Traudi’s trials had just begun. Austria came under Russian control. She and other women her age feared abuse at the hands of immoral conquerors. One day, she met an American soldier who asked her to be his bride. Traudi imagined a happiness beyond her dreams. Go to America? Leave pain and poverty? “Ja! Bitte!” No matter if it meant traveling alone. Her fiance went ahead to tell his parents about her and prepare a home. Traudi arrived in New York frightened and without a penney. No one covered her fare. No one assisted her. And, when she found her way to Iowa, she was rejected by her husband’s family.
The lie came frequently to haunt Traudi. Your happiness, it hissed, is dependent on other people. But, her new American family didn’t like her. Her husband offered little support or encouragement. Their only son broke her heart with his foolish choices. But, I never heard her complain. To this day, I can’t find anyone else who heard her complain. There were so many sad things all around her. But, her well of happiness was never dry.
When cancer invaded her body, she attended to the cares and concerns of others. Once, walking across the street, she was hit by a car and tossed to near death, but she was the one who brightened the days of her visitors. When her only grandchild was torn between divorced parents, Traudi devoted herself to full-time mentoring as well as full days earning the family income. The lie told Traudi to think of herself. But, The Word reminded her that she didn’t have to. Her Robe of mercy was secure.
Traudi helped me understand that happiness does not come when we focus on ourselves. We do not create it, nor do we plan it. We do not demand it from others. It comes to us by surprise. It is, Traudi discovered, all the gifts of the Spirit that come just when we need them. Love. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Faithfulness. Yes, even self-control.
It was my privilege to be mentored by this woman of faith. She’s gone on ahead to pure happiness, but I am left with her example. It serves me well. The lie wants me captive. But, it didn’t hold Traudi. And, because of Christ, it can’t hold me.
Ezerwoman's Blog 
Lack of Self-Control = Unhappy Women
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged arrogance, children, common sense, Dennis Prager, depression, hope, hopelessness, Jesus Christ, mentoring, narcissism, parents, promise, self-control, self-indulgence, selfishness, The Washington Times, Titus 2, Titus 2 for Life, unhappiness, women's health on June 7, 2011| Leave a Comment »
New scientific research shows that if adults cultivate the practice of self-control — starting early — in children, a great many could be saved from addictions, poverty, and crime. Isn’t that just like scientific evidence? Always lagging behind but, when pure, testifying to God’s order of creation.
This ezerwoman is a better helper — of men, children, and society — when I practice self-control. Lest I forget (or resist), God consistently reminds me to be “self-controlled.” The books of 1 and 2 Timothy refer to the virtue of “self-control” at least four times. At least five times, the book of Titus instructs older men and women to practice and mentor “self-control.” There’s good reason. Self-control glorifies God. It can result in more hopeful consequences. It can even reduce depression
Self-control is the opposite of living our lives however we please. Doing whatever makes us “happy.” Insisting that our “needs” be met. Serving self over others. Perhaps this is what happens when times are good. We give ourselves license… for whatever, whenever. We have (in my American lifetime) “lived on the earth in luxury and in self-indulgence” (James 5:5). For sure, it is what happens when women are encouraged to let their emotions rule.
But, encouraging girls and young women to let their emotions rule has not made them happy. It is widely reported, writes Dennis Prager, that women suffer depression at twice the rate of men. If the clinical assumptions are true, Prager suggests that we consider the following:
“Wise cultures have learned that happiness is attained only when we conquer our nature. This is true for male and female. With modern feminism, however, came a belief in the superiority of the female nature. The result? Society was urged to suppress both the negative and positive aspects of the male nature with little or no suppression of the female nature. Historically, societies and parents have always known it’s a good thing to teach boys to control two aspects of their male nature — their sexual desires and their predilection for violence. Decent men were taught from youth to touch a woman sexually only with her permission and to channel physical aggression into sports or into helping fight evil by joining the police force or military. Men who didn’t learn to control these aspects of male nature not only became bad men, but unhappy men.”
He continues, “Societies and parents also knew it was important to help girls control their natures — in particular, their predilection to be ruled by their emotions. Women who allowed their emotions to rule them not only became destructive (to members of their families first and foremost), they became unhappy women. But, while modern society continued to teach boys to control themselves, it stopped teaching girls to do so. Girls’ emotions and feelings were treated as inherently valuable. In fact, to repress a girl’s emotions or feelings was labeled ‘sexist’ and showed a ‘hatred of women.’ ” (Excerpted from “Wanted by women: A few good old-fashioned men” by Dennis Prager, The Washington Times, 6-30-08)
Hmmm. I’m reminded of the woman who showed up at an abortion clinic. Why? “He kissed me and I melted. I was filled with passion and couldn’t help myself. Now, I’m pregnant and must take control of my body.”
Lack of self control + unhappy woman = desperation and hopelessness. Ugh.
There is another choice. Mature men and women can be examples of self-control and mentor younger ones to do the same. There is promise in such practice: Hope for living out our lives in anticipation of Jesus’ return (Titus 2).
Read Full Post »