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Archive for January, 2014

Parental Pondering of Purity, Mystery and Modesty

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, Vocation, tagged abortion, abstinence, agape love, children, chivalry, clothing, family, fathers, forgiveness, Genesis, life choices, marriage, morality, mothers, prolife, sexuality, virtue on January 30, 2014| Leave a Comment »

God entrusts children to parents.

Parents are called by God to guard the innocence of childhood. This is a serious challenge in today’s society. From early on, boys and girls are surrounded by the visual images and messages of a highly sexualized culture. The Christian parent may feel overwhelmed by their role. But parents today—as always—are equipped for the job. The Word of God is sufficient. The Bible provides all that is needed to help boys and girls respect themselves and others, understand why male and female are not the same but complementarily different, resist temptation, and protect human life from the moment of conception. When sin and failure occur, the Bible points the way to forgiveness and hope in Jesus Christ.

One topic that perhaps most intimidates and even confuses parents is sex and sexuality. Sex education sounds like a good idea, especially if it is taught in a Christian environment; however, the origin of sex education is not biblical. It is founded on a humanistic and secular theory.

A zoologist and follower of Charles Darwin by the name of Alfred Kinsey concluded that children are “sexual from birth” and can enjoy and benefit from early sexual activity. He believed that society should reflect his “science” by altering its moral codes. Thirty years of study by researchers such as Judith A. Reisman, PhD., prove that Kinsey’s research was built on sexual experiments by known pedophiles on children ages five-months to 14 years. The research was both fraudulous and criminal; nevertheless, it accomplished what it intended. By the 1960s, Kinsey and his followers were recognized as the “experts” on matters of “sexuality.” Kinsey associates and students opened the doors of SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S.) and partnered with Planned Parenthood to aggressively make their way into schools and churches. Pro-homosexual and pedophilia groups were emboldened. Over the next fifty years, moral codes based largely on the biblical worldview were dangerously compromised. Never before had anyone considered a child to be “sexual” in the way that Kinsey meant, but today children are sexualized not only by the media but in sex education, health or “family living” classrooms. The innocence of children is stripped away in classrooms where boys and girls together learn about their bodies, what their parents do in the bedroom and what it means to live a “sexual” life.

God Calls Us to Holy Living.

God does not call His children to be “sexual.” He calls His children—of all ages— to be holy. Therefore, the Bible does not educate in sex, but instructs in purity.

Purity is not prudish. It is prudent. Purity is not Victorian and antiquated. It is God’s plan for children and adults whether married or single.

Purity focuses on our identity as redeemed sons and daughters of God in Christ Jesus. God says, “Be holy for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16). We are “vessel[s] for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:21). Daily remembering our Baptism, we see ourselves not as “sexual beings” captive to instinct and desires, but as heirs of the promise and clothed with the righteousness of Christ (Galatians 3:27-29).

Purity is about more than abstinence. Abstinence says, “No, I can’t be sexually intimate right now.” But purity says, “Yes, I can be the male or female God created me to be right now.” Instruction in purity begins with an explanation of biblical manhood and womanhood. It draws attention to the many ways that male and female, of any age and married or single, can work, worship and serve together without a hint of sensuality.

Purity is about God’s design and order for life. It is also about mystery and modesty. God’s Word says, “Do not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time” (Song of Songs 3:5b). This is why purity must be nurtured in a special garden tucked safely behind a protective fence. That fence is the boundary of home. God entrusts the training of children to their parents. Children trust parents. The Church supports parents by equipping them with God’s Word of Law and Gospel, the catechism, and models for instruction.

Purity is nurtured in an environment where modesty is preserved. This is not a classroom where boys and girls together learn about sex or sexuality. It is nearly impossible to train in purity when intimate topics are discussed between boys and girls in a common and casual manner. Why? Because holy people and the behavior God expects from them are not common but, rather, uncommon.

Modesty emphasizes the importance of the sexual organs (which God placed out of view and behind hair, 1 Corinthians 12:23) reserved for the special and honorable use within marriage. Rather than trying to remove embarrassment (a natural protection from God in a sinful world), adults should do everything they can to maintain modesty. A father can best explain to his daughter that there is mystery in more clothing rather than less, and that a girl’s behavior can raise—or lower—a boy’s standard of thinking and behavior. A father can encourage his son to guard a woman’s virtue and lead him away from the “temptress” (Proverbs 7).

Purity grows from the truth of Genesis. The first man and woman were created in a complementary but different way, each with a unique and vital role. Purity understands that a man is a good steward (Genesis 2:15) and defender of life (Genesis 16-17) who takes a stand against evil. The man is to lead, not as lord and master, but as one who goes first to make sure the path is safe. Purity understands that a woman, as a “helper” (Genesis 2:18) and a “rib” or “pillar” (Psalm 144:12b), is strong and supportive, yet vulnerable to abuse. Purity understands that a woman, as the bearer of life, has the most at stake; therefore, it places her within protective, yet pleasant boundaries.

These boundaries are drawn by God to respect the physical and psychological differences between male and female. Woe to those who attempt to erase these boundaries by pretending that boys and girls are “the same”. Woe to the adults who remove the protective covering of modesty and desensitize children. Woe to the adults who dangle the carrot of joyful marital union in front of children but then tell them to “wait” for marriage after graduating college and securing a job.

God Gives a Model to Parents.

God has given all parents and grandparents a model for the instruction of purity in Titus 2:3-8. Older men are to mentor younger men by being examples of sobriety, dignity, self-control, sound faith, agape love, and steadfastness. In addition, older men are to model the sacrificial love of Jesus (Ephesians 5:25). This love is shown today by men who defend the honor of women, rescue children from abortion, and guard the door of homes. For a young man, it means treating all girls as he wants his sister, mother, grandmother, and someday-wife to be treated.

Older women are to mentor younger women by being examples of goodness, self-control, purity, homemaking, kindness, and respectfulness for God’s orderly design in marriage. In addition, older women can contrast the “temptress” with the holy woman who calls attention not to self but God (1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:3-4).

If there is no father present or involved, mothers can point both sons and daughters to their Heavenly Father who is very present and involved in the lives of His children. Timothy was raised to purity of faith and behavior by his mother and grandmother (2 Timothy 1:5).

Parents can be confident in raising sons and daughters to a life of purity. They need not be intimidated by the world—or by their own past. Sins that have been confessed to God are forgiven and forgotten. Parents can show children the way to the Cross every time a wrong choice is made. Parents, with the help of the Holy Spirit, can help sons and daughters resist the temptations of a self-focused and sensual world.

It is an awesome thing to know that the God who calls us to holiness also saves us when we are not. Even when all seems lost to sinful people, we can reclaim our purity in Jesus.

Jesus Christ came to live among us. He experienced human emotions and feelings. He knows our weakness. But for our own sakes, He calls us to lives of purity. Purity does not seek its own way. It models biblical manhood and womanhood. It raises standards for behavior and encourages self-control. Purity guards body, mind and soul. It lays a foundation for friendship, marriage and family.

Purity anticipates a future of hope.

(Available in brochure format #LFL903T from http://www.cph.org)

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Woman’s Natural Cycle of Life

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, Vocation, tagged aging, body, child-bearing, depression, disappointment, grandmother, health care for women, hormones, menopause, mind, mother, sexuality, soul on January 20, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Not long ago, I was approached by a gentleman following one of my presentations. “I know your focus is on biblical womanhood,” he said. “And I appreciate that you’re trying to contrast the myths of feminism with God’s magnificent design of women, so I want to affirm what you’re doing from my professional point of view.”

“As a compounding pharmacist,” he explained, “I’ve developed a special interest in the health care of menopausal women. It is absolutely amazing to me that a woman’s body is literally built for child-bearing and mothering.” He didn’t say it, but it comes to me now that he was describing how a woman’s body is also built for grandmothering.”

I think that pharamacist was referring to a harmonious symphony of female hormones through the natural cycle of life. But there are those who oppose God’s design and direction. They have little regard for the cultural influence of mothers and grandmothers. (They deem fathers and grandfathers “unnecessary”.) Who are these people? They are the social scientists who deceive women to a sexualized life and perpetual self-satisfaction.

Dr. Judith Reisman writes that Alfred Kinsey encouraged “the idea that women are supposed to retain an aggressive libido well into old age. [Today’s women] report anxiety and depression triggered by their belief that they should, despite hormonal changes, still be sexually aggressive. Yet, the blessings of the aging process naturally incline them toward the joyful role of grandmother, with the many rewards that noble calling implies.” [1]

Clinging to a “sexual” identity, a woman might expend every effort trying to maximize or minimize all that is female. Such a woman—at every age and in any circumstance— might never see herself as any more than a body which seems perpetually disappointing.

But a woman who trusts her identity as a daughter of God in Christ can navigate the changes and challenges of life. Her physical body may frustrate or disappoint her, but she knows that she is more than just body.

She is body, mind and soul.

[1] Judith A. Reisman, PhD., Kinsey: Crimes and Consequences (Crestwood, KY., The Institute for Media Education, 1998, 2000), 124.

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Where Are the Men?

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Parenting & Education, tagged Breakpoint, Camille Paglia, children at risk, courageous men, fall of civilization, family values, feminism, gender identity, gender politics, John Stonestreet, military, neutered boys, war against boys on January 9, 2014| Leave a Comment »

John Stonestreet’s article in Breakpoint is a perfect follow-up to my post of yesterday. John writes:

You probably won’t see her on Fox News. And she doesn’t have a column in National Review. But a lesbian academic trained at Yale, Camille Paglia, who describes herself as a “notorious Amazon feminist,” is an unlikely prophet of cultural doom. And maybe that’s why we should listen to what she has to say.

In a wide-ranging interview in the Wall Street Journal, Paglia says most feminists today deny the basic differences between the sexes, and as a consequence are setting us up for a huge fall. “What you’re seeing is how a civilization commits suicide,” she says.

How? Well, Paglia says, many members of the cultural elite have no experience in the military and in fact disdain military service, a traditionally male province. “These people don’t think in military ways,” Paglia says, “so there’s this illusion out there that people are basically nice, people are basically kind…. They literally don’t have any sense of evil or criminality.” Daily_Commentary_01_09_14

Friends, as our friend Chuck Colson would say, this isn’t primarily a knowledge problem. It’s a worldview problem. Paglia says modern feminists pass that misunderstanding onto the rest of us at the earliest opportunity—in kindergarten.

“Primary-school education is a crock, basically,” Paglia warns. “They’re making a toxic environment for boys. Primary education does everything in its power to turn boys into neuters.” As the Journal article relates, “she sees the tacit elevation of ‘female values’—such as sensitivity, socialization and cooperation—as the main aim of teachers, rather than fostering creative energy and teaching hard geographical and historical facts.”

And the same thing happens, she says, all the way to college. “The PC gender politics things,” Paglia says, “the way gender is being taught in the universities… is all about neutralization of maleness.” Another prominent feminist, Christina Hoff Sommers, who first alerted us to the ongoing “war against boys” in the culture, agrees, saying, “Boys are languishing academically, while girls are soaring.”

Male neutralization, Paglia says, includes the idea that men and women are biologically the same and that gender is nothing but a social construct. And this is why we shouldn’t be surprised that California schools have started to allow kindergartners with supposed “gender identity” issues to go to whichever bathroom they choose.

Paglia warns us that men have “no models of manhood” in our culture, adding: “Masculinity is just becoming something that is imitated from the movies. There’s nothing left. There’s no room for anything manly right now.” The culture, this feminist admits, needs men and it will die without them. Wow.

So what to do about it? Paglia suggests a “revalorization” of traditionally masculine trades, such as construction, electrical, and plumbing work, which pay well enough but don’t come with the PC cache of a college degree. Well, that’s a start, but what I’d really like to see is a “revalorization” of traditionally masculine virtues.

We have too many guys, even in the church, afraid to be men. We need men not afraid to be strong risk-takers, to be courageous, to take responsibility, who are self-controlled, gentle leaders and willing providers. We need these real men in our homes and the public square, in churches and in neighborhoods. Remember, God made us male and female. We need both.

Now I realize I may be walking on thin ice here, because virtue is not gender specific. Women can also be strong! I pray my own daughters will be bold risk-takers for the kingdom—but as women, not as men.

Come to BreakPoint.org for some strong Christian resources and good reads on masculinity, what it means to be a man—for men and for boys. . . because we need strong women and strong men. In fact, Western civilization depends upon it. Just ask Camille Paglia.

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Men and Women, Worship and Life

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Vocation, tagged baptism, boyhood, boys and girls, Christianity, church attendance, complementary sexes, divine worship, feminism, gender differences, godly manhood, liturgy, raising boys by design, spiritual warfare on January 8, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Often, after leading a Titus 2 Retreat, I am asked if I will say a few encouraging words to the husbands and male members of the sponsoring congregation or group. This is important to me. As an ezer, a helper by creation and nature, it is natural for me to want to help and encourage the very men who are so different from me. It has been said that male and female are the two eyes of the universe. I believe both are needed for a proper perspective.

Before I encourage the men to be the good stewards and defenders of life that God calls them to be, I apologize to them for the folly of women. The feminist movement baptizes in the name of humanistic narcissism. It pits women against men and places children in harm’s way. But Christianity baptizes in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It clothes even an infant girl in the righteous robe of Christ, washes away sin, begins to work a good conscience, and makes her an heir of The Promise. Daughters of God in Christ do not have to demean or compete with men in order to be persons of influence.

Radical feminism has done great harm, in particular, to boys. Insisting that “equal means being the same” has left girls more vulnerable and boys deprived of godly manhood. To deny that boys learn, process and respond differently than girls weakens society and hurts us all. It shows in the modern classroom. Almost twice as many boys as girls struggle with completing regular schoolwork and behaving in the way school systems want them to behave. Boys are almost twice as likely to repeat kindergarten as girls and more than twice as likely to be suspended. The majority of school dropouts are boys. (1) In my lifetime, I have witnessed powerful advocacy for girls but little desire to understand or respect what boys need to thrive.

Most disappointing to me is the Christian community. Barna surveys found that a higher proportion of adolescent boys and men are leaving or not participating in church life compared to girls and women. Sunday school, day school and catechism classes seem to have forgotten (or dismissed) that boys and girls learn and grow differently. In his book Why Men Hate Going to Church, David Murrow documents that boys and men don’t really think the church has anything to offer them. I have observed that the more contemporary worship services have become, the more men seem to drift away. Why? If God’s divine service to us is diminished by attention to our praise of Him, time in God’s House may become insignificant by men who are wired very differently from women. Women may be “moved” by praise songs and emotional presentations, but are men?

Not long ago, following Vacation Bible School, I overheard one of the teachers say that the boys came to life when singing “Onward Christian Soldiers”. Their lips moved during the rhyming and repetitive praise songs, but their voices raised and their feet marched when singing about spiritual warfare, gallantry and defense of all things noble and good.

In Raising Boys By Design, authors Gregory L. Jantz, PhD and Michael Gurian write,

For faith to be relevant, boys and men need to see it as a part of their action-oriented heroic quest — a wholehearted, sold-out-to-Jesus continual submission of the will to one greater than self. Boys seek a valiant spiritual quest, fraught with challenge and filled with purpose, sacrifice, achievement, and honor. Males want to connect with a God who is experiential, to have a personal encounter with Jesus that is so compelling they will grab hold of faith and hang on tight as their lives go forward. Through such faith they will find their true identity, not just as a man but as a Christian man. (2)

Jantz and Gurian speak about a faith that must be muscular. As the mother of sons, this resonates with me. I wanted my sons to respect and defend women, but not become one of us. Just as I am uplifted by the support and wisdom of other women, so men are strengthened by their healthy band of brothers in work, study, play or service. From boyhood, men need to engage in problem solving, decision-making and wrestling with the tough issues of life on behalf of the women and children they are called by God to defend. If you remember, Jacob wrestled with the angel of the Lord (Genesis 32). Jacob’s hip was put out of joint during the encounter. Martin Luther said that through faith, in the struggle of the cross, one learns to recognize and experience God rightly. A man learns, through times of difficulty as well as times of blessings, that God’s Word is living and active; it can be trusted in all circumstances.

God calls boys to guard the purity of girls. He calls men to defend the lives of women and children. It is likely, in this sinful world, that boys and men will be bruised when they do battle for the lives of others and to the glory of God. It is for this reason, I believe, that men (like women) need the Divine Service. The literal catechesis in the Divine Service, week after week, prepares a young man not to be passive, but to be engaged in the real world. It allows him to confess his sins, receive absolution and remember the cleansing work of his baptism. It speaks the timeless Word of God in Christ. It renews him with the strength and wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

The Divine Service is not the boy or man doing something for God, but God doing something for boy and man so that they, in turn, may do something good for girls and women.

As for me, I will continue to resist the foolishness of some women. I have no reason to desire the place of a man or covet the responsibilities he has been given. I do, however, have my own role to play. It is my belief that I can best help men defend the sanctity of life, protect women and children and, ultimately serve God by loving their neighbor as themselves when I encourage my husband, sons, grandsons and brothers to put on their armor. To grip the Sword of the Spirit. To stay alert. To gather with all the saints and persevere.

War rages. It is not against flesh and blood but powers and principalities. It is a spiritual war for our very souls. I, for one, need the courage and commitment of men who are prepared for such battle. Men who do more than praise God, but receive from Him training in righteousness… zeal for good works… and the power of self-control. Divinely served by a mighty God and with marching orders in hand, a man is equipped to bring order out of the chaos of sin.

(1) Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, and Michael Gurian, Raising Boys By Design (Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press, 2013), 12-13.
(2) Jantz and Gurian, Raising Boys By Design, 195.

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