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Posts Tagged ‘clothing’

parents standing w childrenGod entrusts children to parents.

Parents are called by God to guard the innocence of childhood.  This is a serious challenge in today’s society.  From early on, boys and girls are surrounded by the visual images and messages of a highly sexualized culture.  The Christian parent may feel overwhelmed by their role.  But parents today—as always—are equipped for the job.  The Word of God is sufficient.  The Bible provides all that is needed to help boys and girls respect themselves and others, understand why male and female are not the same but complementarily different, resist temptation, and protect human life from the moment of conception.  When sin and failure occur, the Bible points the way to forgiveness and hope in Jesus Christ.

One topic that perhaps most intimidates and even confuses parents is sex and sexuality.  Sex education sounds like a good idea, especially if it is taught in a Christian environment; however, the origin of sex education is not biblical.  It is founded on a humanistic and secular theory.

A zoologist and follower of Charles Darwin by the name of Alfred Kinsey concluded that children are “sexual from birth” and can enjoy and benefit from early sexual activity.  He believed that society should reflect his “science” by altering its moral codes.  Thirty years of study by researchers such as Judith A. Reisman, PhD., prove that Kinsey’s research was built on sexual experiments by known pedophiles on children ages five-months to 14 years.  The research was both fraudulous and criminal; nevertheless, it accomplished what it intended.  By the 1960s, Kinsey and his followers were recognized as the “experts” on matters of “sexuality.”  Kinsey associates and students opened the doors of SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S.) and partnered with Planned Parenthood to aggressively make their way into schools and churches.  Pro-homosexual and pedophilia groups were emboldened.  Over the next fifty years, moral codes based largely on the biblical worldview were dangerously compromised.  Never before had anyone considered a child to be “sexual” in the way that Kinsey meant, but today children are sexualized not only by the media but in sex education, health or “family living” classrooms.  The innocence of children is stripped away in classrooms where boys and girls together learn about their bodies, what their parents do in the bedroom and what it means to live a “sexual” life.

God Calls Us to Holy Living.

God does not call His children to be “sexual.”  He calls His children—of all ages— to be holy.  Therefore, the Bible does not educate in sex, but instructs in purity.

Purity is not prudish.  It is prudent.  Purity is not Victorian and antiquated.  It is God’s plan for children and adults whether married or single.

Purity focuses on our identity as redeemed sons and daughters of God in Christ Jesus.  God says, “Be holy for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16).  We are “vessel[s] for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:21).  Daily remembering our Baptism, we see ourselves not as “sexual beings” captive to instinct and desires, but as heirs of the promise and clothed with the righteousness of Christ (Galatians 3:27-29).

Purity is about more than abstinence.  Abstinence says, “No, I can’t be sexually intimate right now.”  But purity says, “Yes, I can be the male or female God created me to be right now.”  Instruction in purity begins with an explanation of biblical manhood and womanhood.  It draws attention to the many ways that male and female, of any age and married or single, can work, worship and serve together without a hint of sensuality.

Purity is about God’s design and order for life.  It is also about mystery and modesty.  God’s Word says, “Do not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time” (Song of Songs 3:5b).  This is why purity must be nurtured in a special garden tucked safely behind a protective fence.  That fence is the boundary of home.  God entrusts the training of children to their parents.  Children trust parents.  The Church supports parents by equipping them with God’s Word of Law and Gospel, the catechism, and models for instruction.

Purity is nurtured in an environment where modesty is preserved.  This is not a classroom where boys and girls together learn about sex or sexuality.  It is nearly impossible to train in purity when intimate topics are discussed between boys and girls in a common and casual manner.  Why?  Because holy people and the behavior God expects from them are not common but, rather, uncommon.

Modesty emphasizes the importance of the sexual organs (which God placed out of view and behind hair, 1 Corinthians 12:23) reserved for the special and honorable use within marriage.  Rather than trying to remove embarrassment (a natural protection from God in a sinful world), adults should do everything they can to maintain modesty.  A father can best explain to his daughter that there is mystery in more clothing rather than less, and that a girl’s behavior can raise—or lower—a boy’s standard of thinking and behavior.  A father can encourage his son to guard a woman’s virtue and lead him away from the “temptress” (Proverbs 7).

Purity grows from the truth of Genesis.  The first man and woman were created in a complementary but different way, each with a unique and vital role.  Purity understands that a man is a good steward (Genesis 2:15) and defender of life (Genesis 16-17) who takes a stand against evil.  The man is to lead, not as lord and master, but as one who goes first to make sure the path is safe.  Purity understands that a woman, as a “helper” (Genesis 2:18) and a “rib” or “pillar” (Psalm 144:12b), is strong and supportive, yet vulnerable to abuse.  Purity understands that a woman, as the bearer of life, has the most at stake; therefore, it places her within protective, yet pleasant boundaries.

These boundaries are drawn by God to respect the physical and psychological differences between male and female.  Woe to those who attempt to erase these boundaries by pretending that boys and girls are “the same”.  Woe to the adults who remove the protective covering of modesty and desensitize children.  Woe to the adults who dangle the carrot of joyful marital union in front of children but then tell them to “wait” for marriage after graduating college and securing a job.

God Gives a Model to Parents.

God has given all parents and grandparents a model for the instruction of purity in Titus 2:3-8. Older men are to mentor younger men by being examples of sobriety, dignity, self-control, sound faith, agape love, and steadfastness.  In addition, older men are to model the sacrificial love of Jesus (Ephesians 5:25).  This love is shown today by men who defend the honor of women, rescue children from abortion, and guard the door of homes.  For a young man, it means treating all girls as he wants his sister, mother, grandmother, and someday-wife to be treated.

Older women are to mentor younger women by being examples of goodness, self-control, purity, homemaking, kindness, and respectfulness for God’s orderly design in marriage.  In addition, older women can contrast the “temptress” with the holy woman who calls attention not to self but God (1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:3-4).

If there is no father present or involved, mothers can point both sons and daughters to their Heavenly Father who is very present and involved in the lives of His children.  Timothy was raised to purity of faith and behavior by his mother and grandmother (2 Timothy 1:5).

Parents can be confident in raising sons and daughters to a life of purity.  They need not be intimidated by the world—or by their own past.  Sins that have been confessed to God are forgiven and forgotten.  Parents can show children the way to the Cross every time a wrong choice is made.  Parents, with the help of the Holy Spirit, can help sons and daughters resist the temptations of a self-focused and sensual world.

It is an awesome thing to know that the God who calls us to holiness also saves us when we are not.    Even when all seems lost to sinful people, we can reclaim our purity in Jesus.

Jesus Christ came to live among us.  He experienced human emotions and feelings.  He knows our weakness.  But for our own sakes, He calls us to lives of purity.  Purity does not seek its own way.  It models biblical manhood and womanhood.  It raises standards for behavior and encourages self-control.  Purity guards body, mind and soul.  It lays a foundation for friendship, marriage and family.

Purity anticipates a future of hope.

(Available in brochure format #LFL903T from http://www.cph.org)

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At Titus 2 Retreats, one of the topics we discuss is modesty in clothing and behavior.  Perhaps, on behalf of our brothers, it would be best for me to share their thoughts on why modesty matters.  Please listen ~

 

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Clothing — or lack of it — remains a lively topic wherever I go.  Age doesn’t matter.  Both younger and older women argue that it’s a woman’s right to dress however she pleases.  Calling oneself a Christian doesn’t seem to matter, either.  I am always encouraged, however, when someone in the secular world views women and their clothing in a sane and sensible way.

The results of a Princeton study found that when men were shown images of women dressed in bikinis, the region of the brain associated with analyzing a person’s thoughts and feelings was deactivated, and the part associated with objects of use (like “tool”) lit up.  In the minds of these test subjects, the women were quite literally objectified and dehumanized.  (Source: Verilymag)

“Well, ” a woman might respond, “that’s not my problem.”  Another might ask, “But, what about the male responsibility?”  The answers, from my Biblical perspective, are these: 1) We live in community, therefore, the choices we make invariably affect those around us, and 2) Men do bear the responsibility of practicing self-control, but so do women.   A woman can deny reality all she wants, but the truth is that she is always helping a man one way or another — for good or for bad.

Janet Sahm, writing in Tiger Print, also references the Princeton study.  She praises one-piece swimsuits and modest clothing in general.  She does so “in recognition and understanding of a reality about human nature.”  Men and women are attracted to one another, but most often view each other in different ways.  “Would anyone doubt,” Sahm asks, “that, in general, men tend to be more visually stimulated than women and are susceptible to using and viewing women as objects?”

Some of my gender want attention.  They want to be the object of a man’s desire.  Others become temptresses of men because they are naive about the different ways male and female brains are wired.  Sahm makes a strong statement to both, be they women of faith or women of the world.  “Let’s not forget that, as people, we’re all susceptible to using one another for our own gratification.  For a man, it may be to solely focus on a woman’s sexual values, leaving the rest of who she is fade into the background.  For a woman, it may be to fantasize about a man she’s just met, crafting a romanticized imaginary future that’s sorely in need of a reality check.  We’re in this struggle together.”

Yes, we are.  So, here’s a fair question for all of us women: In the midst of life’s struggle, how do we choose to help?

Within each of us is the beauty of personhood that grows more lovely with time.  Character attracts attention in a way that the flesh never can.

“Without saying a word,” writes Sahm, “what you wear influences how people respond to your beauty.  Perhaps it’s not that bikinis reveal to much, but too little.”

Appreciation to Tiger Print, a blog of MercatorNet, 7 Sep 2012

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A cross has a special meaning for the Christian woman.  It is a reminder of a love so great that it was willing to endure ridicule, humiliation, pain, and even death.   The cross — hanging on her bedroom wall or on a chain around her neck — reminds the Christian woman of the amazingly  unselfish love of Jesus.  The “look” of Jesus’ love is one of humility.  The “behavior” of Jesus’ love turns away from self to others.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.  Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross  (Philippians 2:1-8).

Not long ago, I was with my husband and several male members of my family at a restaurant.  The woman who served our table was wearing a cross necklace which hung deep between her partially-exposed breasts.  When the men at my table looked (can I deny that they did?), what do you suppose they saw?  The cross — or something else?

The woman who served our table most probably had no intention of being a temptress.  She probably gave little if any thought to the partially-exposed look of today’s woman.  After all, from kindergarten through high school, girls are encouraged to be comfortable with their bodies.  Their “sexuality.”  This woman — like many of us — intended no harm.  But, perhaps she was uneducated.  Perhaps no one cared to explain to her how sin distorts a man’s visual appreciation of a woman’s body.  Or, perhaps she did not understand the look and behavior of the cross and her responsibility to lead away from temptation.  At that moment, the Christian men of my family were called to turn their eyes away from the woman and, instead, focus on the cross of Jesus.  This meant acting like gentlemen who are respectful of women.  (A Christian man finds wisdom in Job 31:1; Proverbs 4:14-15; Ephesians 6:10-11; and Luke 11:4).

The world’s look and behavior of love boldly screams: Look at me!  God’s look and behavior of love tenderly encourages: Look at the cross!  Jesus’ look turned outward toward others.  Jesus’ behavior placed the well-being of others ahead of His own.

For a number of years, Judy Hayen and I traveled the country with the purity lifestyle show called Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up.  We transported a collection of vintage clothing from Oklahoma City to Chicago to Detroit to help us illustrate what the first Fashion Designer — God — has to say about clothing.  On one of our journeys, Judy encouraged me to write a Bible study for girls and their moms to use at home, church, or a girls’ sleepover.  A pastor’s wife used portions of the study at volleyball camp.  One of the ten lessons is titled “The Look and Behavior of Love.”

Other lessons are:

  • Fig Leaves Aren’t Enough
  • Jesus Covers Our Shame and Embarrassment
  • Embarrassment on a Windy Day
  • Worldviews in Conflict
  • My Body, My Choice…or Is it?
  • Is Clothing a Language?
  • Beauty at Any Price?
  • Living in the Presence of God
  • The Perfect Dress
  • Dressing for Life… the Secret is Out!

At this time, the study is available as a reproducible PDF from Lutherans For Life or Concordia Publishing House (#LFLDFLWEB – $12).  However, with growing interest, ezerwoman may be encouraged to publish in a different format.  Hmmm.  What thinkest thou?

Do women need to know why it’s so great — not only to cover-up, but be covered?

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Those of you who know me may remember that I frequently talk about the dress (or undress) of women.  It’s one of the “hot button” topics at Titus 2 Retreats.  If you’ve attended a “Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up” event or used the Bible study by the same name, you’ve heard me repeat God’s Word to women.  Fig leaves weren’t enough for Eve and they’re not enough for Eve’s daughters.  After Adam and Eve fell, God covered their embarrassment with clothing and their shame with Christ’s Robe of Righteousness.  To be “covered”  is both a physical and spiritual worldview.  The culture asks: Who needs to be covered?  The repentent Christian responds: I do.

It is with great appreciation that I share Adrienne Dorr’s blog entitled “Take My Jacket.”  I have spoken on this topic for years.  But, how thankful and refreshingly encouraged I am to read “Take My Jacket.”  How good it is to let another woman so eloquently (and faithfully) address this subject.  Why write a blog of my own when I can share what I believe through the gifted writing of Adrienne?

TAKE MY JACKET 
by Adriane Dorr

Ladies, we have a real problem. It’s our clothing. And, in particular, it’s the clothing we wear to church.

I get that there are certain kinds of clothes that make us feel better about ourselves, that give us a waist, that show off our curves, that make us feel feminine and confident.

But despite what the culture told you, it’s actually not all about you. There’s these other people in the world (they’re called men), and often times, the clothes we wear doesn’t exactly help them focus. That’s not helpful. In fact, it’s so not helpful, it’s hurtful.

The problem is exacerbated when we show up to church in clothes we shouldn’t. I’m not recommending women button up like we’re Amish or start wearing floor-length jean skirts. That’s not feminine either. But if your skirt is so short that it reveals your gender when you sit down, honey, it’s too short.

And think about your pastor. Young ladies, how’s he supposed to be preaching God’s Word to you when your skirt is so tight you can read its size on the label?

Or nursing moms? Please cover up. No pastor needs to turn around and see you adjusting all your feminine glory for your child. (And honestly, I don’t want to see it either.)

Or middle aged ladies? Put a tank-top on under that blouse. Your pastor has to bend over to give you Holy Communion, and he’s got enough on his mind to not have to deal with seeing all your girl bits too.

Dressing modestly isn’t the same as dressing like a frump from the 1980s. This doesn’t mean that you can’t feel good or look feminine or have a figure.  You don’t have to wear a burqua, and you should never, under any circumstance, take to wearing oversized, lumpy sweaters that make you look like a dude.

You don’t have wear long dresses Little-House-on-the-Prairie style. It doesn’t mean you can’t go to the swimming pool. It simply means that you don’t have to let all the parts of you that are uniquely feminine cease to be un-unique by showing them . . . constantly . . . to the whole world.

Besides, covering up a bit adds some mystique. Turns out you actually don’t have to give everything away in a guy’s first glance at you.

Lutheran ladies, we can get ourselves back out of this mess. We can work on our wardrobes and choose to wear things, especially to church, more suited to being in the presence of the God of creation who comes to meet us there. And we can choose to think more of our neighbor, of our pastors, of the guys we interact with than we do of ourselves, and then dress in a way that bears witness to the beautiful creations God made us to be.

Ezerwoman’s postscript:  Adrienne encourages Christian women to dress in a way that honors God — especially in church.  But, here’s the thing.  If we honor God in church — in His House, why would we not want to honor Him all week long — in His world?  As women of God in Christ, we are called to help men think on what is good, right, and praiseworthy every day.  This means turning attention away from the created to the Creator.  This means changing attitude from “it’s my body,  my choice” to “because I love God and care about my neighbor, I will try not to be a temptress.”

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The first man and woman were naked in the Garden.  There was no shame because both were created in God’s perfect image.  But, when Adam and Eve sinned by disobeying God, they fell from that perfect image and were no longer righteous (holy) in the sight of God.  They lost their pure and trusting relationship with God.

Sin distorted what God created.  The man and woman no longer saw each other with perfect eyes or experienced a perfect relationship.  Eve tried to cover her nakedness with leaves.   But, God said a bikini of fig leaves wasn’t enough.  What she did with her own hands wasn’t enough.  Trying to partially cover herself wasn’t enough.

The consequences of sin changed everything for men, women, and all of their children.  Today, we are deceived by our distorted ideas of right and wrong.  We are arrogant and immodest.  But, God still says that a bikini of fig leaves isn’t enough.

So, is that it?  Does God just sit in His heaven and count our sins against us?   When sin exposed nakedness and spoiled a perfect relationship between God and his creation, did He abandon us all?  Did He say, I am Holy.  You are not.  I am finished with you.   No.

God had mercy.  The Creator of life had a plan that would reconcile sinful people with a Holy God.  Adam and Eve could no longer stay in the Garden, but God did not send them naked or without hope into a changed world.   He made a promise… and then He covered them with garments of clothing made by His own hands.  The promise was a Savior from sin.  The clothing was really more than just animal skins.

God’s mercy required sacrifice and special clothes.  We can think of that sacrifice and “robe of righteousness” today.  On Good Friday, we remember that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).  There is nothing we can do to cover our sin.  But, thanks be to God!  Adam and Eve did not have to despair, and neither do we!  In mercy, God clothes those whom He loves.  We are clothed in righteousness at our baptism.  We are clothed in righteousness when we hear the Gospel and the Holy Spirit works faith.

Physical clothing reminds us of our sinful condition.  But, the clothes we wear also remind us of God’s mercy.  When God covered Adam and Eve, He sacrificed an animal.  This first shedding of blood in the Bible points us toward God’s ultimate shedding of Jesus’ blood on the Cross.  Every time we get dressed, we can remember that God has “clothed [us] with garments of salvation” and “wrapped [us] with a robe of righteousness” (Isaiah 61:10).

The covering of our sins by Christ on Good Friday was not partial, like a bikini of fig leaves.  It was complete.

Makes me think differently about getting dressed.

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