Ezerwoman's Blog

Has the Sexualization of Children Led to the Sexualization of Marriage?

June 17, 2014 by ezerwoman

The following post was written by Rebecca Mayes
and posted on He Remembers the Barren~

One of the aspects of barrenness that is so awkward is the fact that the “success” of your marital relations (more modernly called your “sex life”) with your spouse is often scrutinized by those around you, either privately in their own minds, or quite publicly to your face. The joining of two fleshes into one in the bonds of holy matrimony used to be treated with such modesty and respect. No one would dare ask you whether you’re “doing it” right or if you’ve tried such-and-such a method. But the sexual revolution changed all that, and in numerous Christian publications we read that the act is a beautiful, natural part of marriage and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We should celebrate our gift of sexuality and teach the children in our Church all they need to know to be prepared for utilizing this gift. But is this what the Bible says? When we blush at the questions about what’s wrong with our reproductive organs, is that for a good reason, or are we just prudes?

Linda Bartlett, former national president of Lutherans for Life, has just published The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity, which exposes the myths that our generation, as well as our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, have been taught to believe about what children should know to be prepared for marriage, the marital act, and procreation.

Bartlett begins by giving the necessary history of how the Church, during the mid-20th century, put too much trust in “experts” instead of the inspired Word of God and willingly traded in our biblical understanding of manhood, womanhood, procreation, parenting, and purity for a more “scientific” approach to teaching children about the intimacies of marriage. Falsified, inaccurate, and even perverted studies on the “sexuality” of the human male and female conducted by Alfred Kinsey were presented to universities, medical associations, and church bodies as facts which could not be ignored by enlightened academics. Christianized versions of the sexual revolution’s message were then (and still are) passed down to schools and parents to share with children.

And just what are some of these myths?

Children are sexual from birth.
Children should be taught about sex, and with the proper terminologies, beginning in early elementary school.
If children are not taught about sex early on, their naiveté could make them prey to sexual predators.
Parents aren’t trained to properly teach their children about sex. The schools are the best environments for this to take place.
Boys and girls should be taught about puberty and sexuality while in the same classroom, since there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Sex education will help prevent unplanned pregnancies, STD’s, and abortions.

The Church was naive in its promotion of sex education in the parochial schools, Bartlett points out, but not malicious. We were deceived into believing that we are “sexual from birth,” and this brainwashing had the complete opposite effect on our Church members as what was intended. It cleared the way for the acceptance of fornication, homosexuality, birth control, and even abortion as a normal part of life for those who are simply expressing their sexuality – being who they thought they were created to be.

But that’s not how we were created, Bartlett reminds us. The solution to the mess we are in now is our Baptism. This is where we received our true identities as children of the Heavenly Father, not sexual beings created to express our sexuality, but holy beings, created to live holy (not sexual) lives. “It is important,” Bartlett says, “for the Body of Christ to see each member as fully human as opposed to sexual and, therefore, an instrument for God’s purpose and glory whether a child or adult, single or married, in this circumstance or that,” (pg. 108).

Because Bartlett presents such shocking evidence of our deception, she presents her case in the form of a patient dialogue between herself and her readers, including over 100 questions and then answering almost every objection one could think of to the notion that there is anything wrong with the way the Church has been educating her children. Her love and concern for her Church family flow through each section as she gently reminds us all that, “Even well-intentioned sex education in the Church leans the wrong way if built on the wrong foundation,” (pg. 129).

If you have children, if you teach children, if you are related to children, or if you once were a child, this book is for you.

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, Vocation | Tagged abortion, church, procreation, sexuality, social science | 1 Comment »

Identity Theft

June 2, 2014 by ezerwoman

In today’s world, we are all at risk of having our identity stolen. We call this crime “identity theft”.

But do we realize that identity theft begins at birth? Alfred Kinsey and other humanists attempted to steal away our true identity when they theorized that “children are sexual from birth”. But children are not sexual from birth, not in the way that Kinsey meant. It is not normal or beneficial for a child to engage in sexual activity. While it is true that a boy or girl will, with maturity, develop sexual desires and have sexual inclinations, it is hardly true that a boy or girl should be defined by those desires or inclinations. We are not, first and foremost, “sexual beings”. We are male or female persons called by God’s name and created for His purpose. We are not primarily “sexual beings” but spiritual beings with body, mind and soul. Our identity and how we live based on that identity has eternal ramifications.

We humans are not the first to have our identity challenged.

Not long after His Baptism, the devil tempted Jesus in the wilderness. Satan literally challenged Jesus’ identity as the Son of God.

How did Jesus respond? “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test” (Matthew 4:7).

When Satan persisted in challenging Jesus’ identity, the Son of God replied, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve'” (v.10).

In today’s world, there is the very real risk of “identity theft”. It happens when our credit card or personal information is stolen. It is a crime.

But the subtle and far more dangerous identity theft that is practiced by the culture and in sex education classrooms should be recognized and resisted by every believer in Jesus Christ. When children are sexualized, we can respond, “Be gone, Satan!”

Let us not put the Lord God our Creator and Redeemer to the test. He has made male and female for His glory and purpose, not our own.

He has called us by name. We are His.

Please visit Our Identity Matters.

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy? | Tagged Jesus Christ, satan, sex education, sexual desires, sexual from birth, sexual inclinations, sexuality, temptation | Leave a Comment »

Who Told You?

May 28, 2014 by ezerwoman

The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity is slowly making its way into the hands of Lutherans, Baptists, Catholics, and those who gather in what C.S. Lewis calls the “hallway” of Christianity.

God asked Adam and Eve,

Who told you that you were naked?”

This book asks,

Who told us we are sexual beings from birth?”

Questions about the book?
Please visit Our Identity Matters

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, Vocation | Tagged Linda Bartlett, sex education, sexuality, The Failure of Sex Education in the Church | 3 Comments »

Leading Away From Racism

May 9, 2014 by ezerwoman

Christians should see racism for what it is: sin. It is an assault on the fundamental dignity of men and women who are created by God. Racism is not always about skin color or ethnicity. We dehumanize a person who is in a coma by calling them a “vegetable”.

So what is behind hatred, discrimination and racism? “We are,” says John Stonestreet. He quotes G.K. Chesterton who responded in the following way to a newspaper editorial asking what’s wrong with the world: “Dear Sir, In response to your question what’s wrong with the world, I am. Yours Truly, G.K. Chesterton.”

“Out of the heart,” says Jesus, “come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matthew 15:19) and discrimination.

Christians have incredible opportunity, writes Stonestreet, to contrast evil with good. Secular humanism always dehumanizes people by “reducing them down to their sexual inclinations, or color, or socioeconomic status or looks, or some other arbitrary category. Secularism simply does not possess the worldviews resources to confront person-to-person discrimination in all of its forms. But Christianity does.”

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the Good News of dignity for all people. Christians can explain that there is only one race: the human race. We are different skin tones and cultures, but all are lovingly created by God for His purpose. This stands in vivid contrast to the teachings of secular humanism. “The Church needs to be at the front of the conversation,” writes Stonestreet. I agree. Jesus restored relationships and showed how to treat people like brothers. Only Christianity sees the value of each human being because no one but Jesus Christ makes people so valuable.

Jesus saw all people as treasures in a field. He paid the price of His life for each and every one of them (Matthew 13:44). With that understanding, we can see all people–of all colors and in every circumstance–as our neighbors. We can love them as we love ourselves.

With appreciation to John Stonestreet,
Breakpoint, 5-7-14

Posted in Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships | Tagged Christianity, cultures, dehumanize, discrimination, human dignity, human race, Jesus Christ, love your neighbor, secular humanism, sin | 1 Comment »

My “Thesis” Is Published!

May 6, 2014 by ezerwoman

Without fanfare or ceremony, the deed is done! I have just completed nearly two years of writing a book.

On May 2, 2014, it was officially published and made available on Amazon. There is enough left in my well of words to say “thank you” to an extraordinarily patient and helpful support team. You know who you are.

The title of the book is The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity. It is not the book I dreamed of writing. It is the book I was compelled to write after thirty years of working with and listening to parents and the children they care about.

The book is 250 pages with over 230 footnotes. No, I’m not in graduate school, but yes, this is my thesis. It is a dissertation that covers more than the controversial subject of sex education. It explains how humanists bestowed a mistaken identity upon our children and why, nearly a half century later, Christians still nod their approval. Yet, everywhere I go, I hear people ask, “Why are children sexualized?” The fact that a book like this hasn’t already been written tells me that too many of us have been deceived about our identity.

Christians live in a foreign land. We are called to be uncommon, but have accepted the common ways of our neighbors. We have let the unbelievers identify us.

The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity is a “catechism” for parents, pastors, teachers, those struggling with sexual temptations, and everyone who is concerned about the sexualization of children.

For fifty years, Christians and non-Christians alike have been taught to believe that “children are sexual from birth”. Nowhere in Scripture does God describe children this way. The phrase was coined by a humanist named Alfred Kinsey who believed infants and children can enjoy and benefit from early sexual activity. His social science was wrong, but his research was widely accepted. Our nation and even the Church were set on a dangerous course. By accepting Kinsey’s data and the expertise of other like-minded humanists, the Church played a role in bestowing a mistaken identity, compromising purity for multiple generations, and ultimately putting human lives at risk.

A false identity has both temporal and eternal ramifications. With painstaking care, I have attempted to explain why the Church can no longer participate in a tragically flawed social experiment and going beyond diagnosis, I propose a hopeful, radical and thoroughly biblical remedy.

There is no personal delight in pointing out error. I have persevered with this project because I am motivated by love for my own children and grandchildren and by love for God’s Word. For the sake of all children, I believe that Christians need to know the origin of sex education, then ask:

What fellowship has light with darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)?
Upon what foundation have we built?
Young or old, single or married, who does God say that I am and what does this mean?

For the sake of generational holiness and purity, it is my prayer that we encourage honest and kind dialogue. The 107 questions and answers I offer in my book are a good place to start.

Curious? Please visit Our Identity Matters to learn more.

The book may be ordered from Amazon.

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, Vocation | Tagged abstinence, children, Christian sex education, Church teachings, humanism, identity, parents, purity, sexuality and God's Word, sexualization of children | 1 Comment »

Ezer’s Handbook #9: Mentor and Encourage Biblical Manhood

April 26, 2014 by ezerwoman

Here’s the final page from Ezer’s Handbook!

Mentor and Encourage Biblical Manhood

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die (Genesis 2:15-17). Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him (Genesis 2:18). Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness . . . urge the younger men to be self-controlled (Titus 2:2, 6).

Honor God’s created order by being a helper. There is no shame in being a helper. In John 24:16, Jesus called the Holy Spirit a “Helper” (Greek: parakletos, “comforter” or someone who appears on another’s behalf—“advocate”). In what ways does a Christian woman help or hinder a man in a dating relationship? In the workplace? In what ways does a Christian wife help or hinder her husband? In what ways does a Christian mother help or hinder the father of her children? In what ways does a Christian mother help or hinder her son?

Mentor sons. A woman is needed to mentor her sons, grandsons and all of the boys God brings into her life. She doesn’t do this like a father. Mom and dads are not interchangeable roles. She is needed to model biblical womanhood, he is needed to model biblical manhood, and both are needed to show the complementary design of marriage for the good of family. A mom models femininity, virtue, modesty in dress and behavior, and respect for her husband. She is not quarrelsome. “Strength and dignity are her clothing . . . she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness . . . she fears the Lord” (Proverbs 31:25-30). A son needs to see that his mom is not deceived by the world. Recommended resources include Boys Should Be Boys (7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons) by Meg Meeker, M.D.; Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson; Raising Boys By Design by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD and Michael Gurian; and Raising Real Men by Hal and Melanie Young. Encourage dads to do a study of Proverbs 4-7 with their sons. The Lutheran Study Bible (ESV) with commentary provides plenty for discussion. If a dad isn’t present, study these chapters from Proverbs with your son. Help him avoid the “temptress”. Oh! That reminds me. Another resource (how could I forget?) is The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity. The book is available on Amazon by mid-May. More than expose the humanistic origin of sex education, it focuses on identity and provides suggestions for parents who want to train children in biblical manhood and womanhood.

Encourage fathers to be heroes and defenders of their daughters. There is much evidence to suggest that girls will wait longer to be sexually active if they have a dad who provides appropriate attention. What does it mean when a father gives his daughter’s hand in marriage? What does it mean when he lifts his daughter’s veil on her wedding day? Recommended reading includes Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D., and Unprotected by Miriam Grossman, M.D., and my two-part article Dad: A Girl’s First Hero (visit Titus 2 for Life – click on “writings”).

Resist the world’s disdain for patriarchy. Patriarchy is God’s plan to bring order into a sinful and often chaotic world. Men are held responsible for loving their wives and passing on the Truth of Jesus Christ to their children. Martin Luther wrote the Small Catechism, not for pastors to teach, but for fathers to teach their children in the home. Encourage the men of your congregation to use Men, Women and Relationships: Building a Culture of Life Across the Generations, a Bible study I wrote for college-age and older men and women (LFL901BS – CPH) Topics of particular interest to men are “Modern Man”, “The Abuse of Sex”, “Husbands and Wives”, “Heroes in a Culture of Life”, “Bearers and Defenders of Life”, and “Building a Culture of Life”. Each lesson includes a leader’s guide.

Raise the standard for men. The way a woman chooses to dress, speak and act can either raise—or lower—a man’s standard of behavior. Suggest that your women’s group read Christian Modesty and the Undressing of America by Jeff Pollard or check out the books Wendy Shalit has written on modesty. A ten lesson Bible study entitled Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up is available in a reproducible PDF format (LFLDFL) from CPH. I wrote the study to help moms and daughters resist immodest dress not just for their own sake but for the sake of boys and men. The study explains why God said fig leaves weren’t enough, why embarrassment is natural, and why a bride presents herself to her groom in a white wedding dress.

Encourage, respect and appreciate men. Purchase the Bible study Called to Remember (LFL302BS) from CPH. After a number of Titus 2 Retreats, I was asked to respectfully encourage men in their vocation of biblical manhood. This study is but one of many resources for pastors, men’s fellowship, your husband or son, or other male members in your family. The study calls men to accountability while also showing appreciation for their faithfulness. (See also The Men’s Network.) My grandfathers, father, and husband are humbled by their failures, but it is because of their faithfulness that I am more confident, secure and protected as a woman. Feminism speaks ill of men; but there are many women like myself who hold godly men in high esteem. The Book of Man (Readings on the Path to Manhood) by William J. Bennett is a collection of writings by men on work, war, citizenship, women and children, prayer and reflection. Encourage fathers and sons to watch the movie Patriot, The League of Grateful Sons, or Kirk Cameron’s Monumental. Study men like General Thomas Jackson. Jackson’s mother gave him away when he was seven, but he became a man of unbending faith and a Civil War hero respected by students at West Point and those he led into battle.

Visit Titus 2 for Life. Go to the “4 men” page and click on the links to articles that encourage and support biblical manhood. Thank God for humble, praying, and faithfully involved fathers, grandfathers, husbands, sons, pastors and friends.

This concludes a series of nine posts on mentoring. It is my prayer that older women not shy away from mentoring younger women in biblical womanhood so that, together, we might encourage biblical manhood.

Ezer’s Handbook is a resource developed by
Linda Bartlett and presented at Titus 2 Retreats

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Parenting & Education, Vocation | Tagged boys should be boys, complementary sexes, created order, defenders of life, family, fathers, grandfathers, heroes, Meg Meeker, patriarchy, sex education in the Church | Leave a Comment »

Ezer’s Handbook #8: Mentor Holiness & Purity

April 19, 2014 by ezerwoman

In a highly sexualized world, here’s a challenge for dads and moms who care about the physical, psychological and spiritual well-being of their children…

#8 – MENTOR HOLINESS & PURITY

For now thus says the Lord, he who created you . . . Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine (Isaiah 43:1). As obedient children, do not be conformed by the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy (1 Peter 1:14-16).

Host a parent night in your home or at church. Encourage dads and moms in their vocation of parenthood. God has entrusted children to parents, not to schools, “villages” or even churches. God gives parents everything they need in His Word to train up a child for the good path of life. Start an e-mail chain with resources that help parents contrast the message of Planned Parenthood (www.teenwire.org) with God’s Word. Suggestions include The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn, Boys Should Be Boys and Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D., and the brochures “Purity, Mystery and Modesty” (LFL903T) and “Fig Leaves Are Not Enough” (LFL612T) from http://www.cph.org.

Know who you are so that you can teach your children who they are. Many Christians ask, “How is it that even children are sexualized?” Children are sexualized when adults fail to see them as God sees them. Sexualizing children is what happens when a culture is deceived by humanists such as Alfred Kinsey, Mary Calderone, or John Money and organizations such as SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S.) and Planned Parenthood. For half a century, Christians and non-Christians alike have been taught to believe that “children are sexual from birth”. Nowhere in Scripture does God describe children this way. The phrase was coined by Kinsey who believed infants and children can enjoy and benefit from early sexual activity. His social science was wrong, but his research was widely accepted. Today, it is not unusual to hear Christians identify themselves (or their children) as “sexual beings”. But a false identity has both temporal and eternal ramifications. False identity compromises purity and puts human lives at risk. Our true identity was bestowed at Baptism. Baptized by water and the Word, we are heirs of God in Jesus Christ. We are sons and daughters of God in Christ who are called not to sensual living, but holy living. “Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work” (2 Timothy 2:21). God does not define us by our sexual inclinations, but by our relationship to Him. A helpful and brand new resource is The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity by Linda Bartlett (available on Amazon late May 2014) that will help parents and children navigate a highly sexualized culture. Todd Wilken of Issues, Etc., describes the book as a “catechism” that does “more than diagnose, but proposes a hopeful, radical and thoroughly biblical remedy: parents and grandparents teaching and mentoring children in biblical manhood and womanhood.” In the way of a catechism, this book instructs through 107 questions and answers. It encourages the old and young, single and married to ask: Who does God say that I am and what does this mean?

Contrast biblical instruction in purity with the worldly idea of sex education. Christians need to know the origin of sex education, then ask: “What fellowship has light with darkness (2 Cor. 6:14-16)?” Upon what foundation have we built? To help expose the origin of sex education and the ideology behind it, order The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity by Linda Bartlett (available on Amazon late May 2014). God wants parents to help protect the innocence of their children. He does not want adults to “arouse love before its time” or break down protective boundaries of modesty. Parents do well to remember: It’s not lack of information, it’s lack of judgment.” Read You’re Teaching My Child What? by Miriam Grossman, M.D. Learn why this campus psychiatrist from UCLA became fed up with political correctness and the feminism that denies young women the truth about their bodies. We must stop ignoring biological facts in the name of “equality”. The bodies of girls are not ready for sex. As the bearers of life, girls have a more sensitive “eco-system”; in fact, the Pill may actually make a girl more vulnerable to sexually-transmitted infections. A girl may “bond” with a boy even while hugging or kissing when oxytocin floods her brain and deactivates caution and fear. In the classroom a boy may vow to abstain, but at a party with a provocative girl, his amygdala (feeling part of the brain) may hijack his prefrontal cortex (thinking/decision-making part of the brain). Other recommended resources are Miriam Grossman, M.D. and Meg Meeker, M.D.

Grow in your appreciation of biblical manhood and womanhood for the sake of your children. Most modern parents have been influenced by the idea that equal means “being the same”, but God did not create Adam and Eve at the same time, in the same way or for the same purpose. A life of holiness and purity takes root in knowing who God created us to be a male or female persons. Mature manhood and womanhood are not sensually driven. (This is a chapter in The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity.) You will find a wealth of Scriptural and practical information by visiting CBMW. Or, you may order the 12-lesson Bible study Men, Women & Relationships: Building a Culture of Life Across Generations (with leader’s guide) by Linda Bartlett (LFL901BS) from CPH.

Don’t be intimidated by your own past. Confessed sins are forgiven by Jesus Christ and hope is evidenced in new beginnings and a changed life. Biblical heroes were sinful men and women; nevertheless, they trusted God’s Word and used it to train children and grandchildren. What does Psalm 78:1-8 say to a parent? While it is true that sins may be visited about the third and fourth generation, mercy is shown to thousands of generations (Exodus 20:5-6). What is the promise of Ephesians 2:8-10; 1 Timothy 4:7-10 and 1 John 2:28-29?

The last in this series, #9: Mentor and Encourage Biblical Manhood, is coming soon!

Ezer’s Handbook is a resource developed by
Linda Bartlett and presented at Titus 2 Retreats

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, Vocation | Tagged baptism, boyhood, equality, feminism, girlhood, Jesus Christ, Meg Meeker MD, Miriam Grossman MD, parental role, sex education in the Church | Leave a Comment »

Ezer’s Handbook #7: Mentor in the Midst of Opposition

April 12, 2014 by ezerwoman

There is a lot of opposition to God’s Word and to the way He wants us to pass on the truth: generation to generation. With that in mind, let’s consider one more opportunity —

#7: Mentor in the Midst of Opposition
One generation shall commend Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts . . . They shall speak of the might of Your awesome deeds, and I will declare Your greatness (Psalm 145:4, 6).

Let’s stop fooling ourselves. Everything is not okay with young women today. Girls are coming of age in a society in which institutions of marriage, family and church have been badly weakened putting them at risk in ways their grandmothers and great-grandmothers were not. Everything that is naturally womanly—especially anything having to do with motherhood and children—is regarded by feminists as something that has to be overcome rather than embraced. Providers of contraceptive and abortion services have replaced mothers as the main source of authority on sexual matters. A growing number of young women who are in and out of relationships experience chronic depression. But, there is hope! A young woman whose parents set boundaries for their daughter’s sake, remain involved, and help her see the bigger picture of her life seem to make healthier choices.

Be aware of the opposition. Our “adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). As mothers and grandmothers, we need to be “sober-minded” and “watchful”. We do not “wrestle against” Victoria’s Secret or Planned Parenthood, but against the spiritual forces of evil that use sexual immorality, sensuality, idolatry, jealousy and rivalries (Galatians 5:19-20) to shape the minds of young women and lead them away from Jesus Christ. View for yourself Planned Parenthood’s website for teens (www.teenwire.org). The knowledge offered by the opposition holds no promise for this life or the one to come. It is for this reason that God’s Word instructs the believer in 1 Timothy 4:7-10 to train for godliness; “for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it hold promise for the present life and also for the life to come”. Take heart! In spite of the opposition, God remains in control. His Word is true. Jesus is victorious. The Spirit is at work.

Don’t be afraid; be equipped. We are engaged in a battle for young hearts and minds, but God has equipped us with armor and sword (Ephesians 6:14-18). Stand where you have been placed by God—as a wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, friend—and engage the world on behalf of your children, grandchildren, and neighborhood of children. When we practice the same faithfulness as Christian women before us we will mentor a new generation of biblically-courageous women.

Build a bridge between generations. Each generation wants to be a little different from the one before. Young women have always believed that they were more progressive than their mothers. But a younger generation needs an older generation to warn away from pitfalls and precipices. The babyboomers have much to apologize for, but parents who’ve taken their sins to the Cross can testify to children that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Break out of your peer group. A friend of mine explained what happened after she married and moved far away from her mom and church family. “In a strange new place, I was anonymous. My husband was not a believer, so we did not join a church. I really had no one to be accountable to; no one to talk to about the things in life that troubled me. When my daughter was born, I wanted to be the kind of mom my mother was to me, but she was too far away and I didn’t have the benefit of older, wiser women. I assumed that ‘experts’ in child care would be better for my child than me. Actually, I was looking for love, affirmation and encouragement… but in all the wrong places. I became involved with someone other than my husband. I had an abortion and a divorce soon followed.” My friend didn’t need the advice of her peers who were in circumstances similar to her own. She needed an older woman who had learned to trust pure wisdom, Jesus Christ (Proverbs 8). She needed an older Christian woman who could help her resist the deception of a sinful world and flee youthful passions.

Opportunity #8 (Mentor Purity) and #9 (Mentor and Encourage Biblical Manhood) coming soon!

Ezer’s Handbook is a resource developed by
Linda Bartlett and presented at Titus 2 Retreats

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Vocation | Tagged bridge generations, deception, depression, feminism, girls at risk, wisdom | 2 Comments »

Ezer’s Handbook #6: Mentor the Vocation of Motherhood

April 12, 2014 by ezerwoman

Here’s another opportunity from Ezer’s Handbook —

#6: Mentor the Vocation of Motherhood
The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living (Genesis 3:20).

Take a stand for life. Satan wanted woman to be the mother of death, but Adam named his wife “Eve” (Hebrew: chawwah, “life”) because she would be the mother of all the living. With this name, Adam expressed hope for the future through new life and, most importantly, through the promised Seed of the woman: Jesus Christ. How does God help us understand “choice” in Deuteronomy 30:19-20? Regardless of our choices in the past, what can we choose to do now? How does being pro-life affect the way we see ourselves and others? On Mother’s Day, celebrate the noble vocation of motherhood with a thank you to mothers and grandmothers. Pray for those who longed to be mothers but lost a child through miscarriage or stillbirth. Remember the mothers who chose abortion because they feared motherhood, that they might know the mercy of Jesus’ forgiveness and hope for new beginnings.

Trust God’s Word. A woman is, by God’s design, a “helper”. This is her first vocation. God equips wives and mothers to help men be good stewards, grow children in faith, defend human life, and serve neighbors. In what ways does a woman connect fathers to children? Raise standards of behavior? Nurture moral character? Encourage husbands and children to stand against evil? Write your vocational job description on a notecard and keep it by your bed or above the kitchen sink.

Create a peaceful “nest” for your family and guests. God’s Word in Isaiah 32:18 tells us, “My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.” The world is loud, selfish, rude, stressful, violent and disorderly. When your family and guests come in the door, welcome them to a different environment. A man should strive to bring order to his household, but the woman creates the “nest”. A mom doesn’t have to be a “super woman”, but she can keep her home clean, hospitable, peaceful, and Spirit-filled. Little things can help, such as: the music of teachable hymns, a scented candle, the table set and ready to receive the family, the Cross of Christ the Savior somewhere visible, personal composure, carefully spoken words, the practice of kindness, respect for “house rules”, limited TV and computer time, establishment of family traditions, and intentionally scheduled family time.

Invite your pastor to bless your home. Ask a few Christian friends to join you, your family and pastor for a “house blessing”. Join in prayer and God’s Word. Invite the Holy Spirit to live in your home and to fill it with truth, compassion, and faithfulness. Pray that God’s holy angels stand guard and resist evil.

Start a Titus 2 mother’s group. Be sure to include younger and older women. It is easy for young women to think that motherhood is different today than in the past. While it is true that work outside the home and modern trends may contrast the way “things used to be”, children themselves have not changed. They require discipline, boundaries, and the mentoring of agape love in order to grow in faith and face the challenges of a sin-filled world.

Incorporate Titus 2 mentoring into scrapbooking. While hands are busy preserving memories of children and families, resist idle gossip and, instead, keep conversations focused on all things good, right, positive and hopeful. Before you meet, invite everyone to read, for example, Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss (Amazon) or Where’s Mom? (The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective) by Dorothy Patterson (CBMW). Discuss the concepts of the books while working. Consider the resources found at Titus 2 for Life.

Encourage the single moms in your congregation and community. One suggestion is to order copies of Not Alone, a devotional booklet I wrote for single moms (#LFL901B—$2, Concordia Publishing House). Deliver one tied to a small flower bouquet or tucked in with a freezer-ready meal that you’ve prepared for her convenience.

Offer comfort to women who have lost a child to miscarriage or stillbirth. Sometimes, words of comfort and compassion fail us. I wrote Into His Loving Care after a pastor asked me if I would compose a devotional for parents who mourn the loss of their child to miscarriage or stillbirth (#LFL902 – $2, Concordia Publishing House). I admit to being surprised by the response. Often, when traveling the country, someone will approach me to explain that they received a copy from a friend or family member. “God’s Word comforted me,” said one mom, “even as I was reminded to entrust my child into the Savior’s loving care.”

Evaluate what comes into your home. Do the websites you view and the magazines and movies you bring into your home encourage or discourage the vocation of motherhood? From where does your help come? “See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ” (Colossians 2:8).

Next? #7: Mentor in the Midst of Opposition

Ezer’s Handbook is a resource developed by
Linda Bartlett and presented at Titus 2 Retreats.

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Vocation | Tagged family traditions, home, hospitality, house-blessing, kindness, miscarriage, single motherhood, vocation of motherhood | Leave a Comment »

Ezer’s Handbook #5: Mentor Self-Control

April 12, 2014 by ezerwoman

Let’s keep rolling with opportunity #5…

#5 — MENTOR SELF-CONTROL
The grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us . . . to purify for Himself a people . . . who are zealous for good works (Titus 2:12-13).

Take a step toward happiness by learning to control your nature. In a fallen world, men and women must daily fight our natural tendency to sin. Parents in civilized societies have always known the wisdom of helping boys suppress two of their natural tendencies: strong sexual desires and a predilection to aggression or even violence. Likewise, parents in civilized societies have understood the wisdom of helping girls suppress their natural tendency to be ruled by emotions. Why is a woman who lives by her feelings and emotions less likely to be happy or content? What is the effect on others when a woman lets her emotions dictate her behavior? Visit Titus 2 for Life.

Resist following your heart. Ponder the following statements: “When it’s time to make a decision, I’ll trust my heart.” “He told me he loved me. The moment felt so right and my heart said ‘yes’”. “Some people say he’s not right for me, but I’m following my heart.” Can we trust our heart? What does God say in Genesis 8:21; Jeremiah 17:9; and Matthew 15:19? How can we help younger women train their hearts and minds? See Psalm 119:41-48; Proverbs 16:20; and Matthew 22:37.

Stay in training and run the race. St. Paul encourages believers to “run the race”, not “aimlessly” but with self-control (1 Corinthians 9:25-27). The world convinces women that we have the right to dress, speak, or act however we please. At what point do our “rights” hinder others? Can our lack of self-control put the faith of others at risk? A pastor’s wife used the ten-lesson Bible study I wrote entitled Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up with her volley-ball team at Christian camp (#LFLDFL, downloadable PDF from Concordia Publishing House). Her goal was to help the girls “exercise self-control in all things”, including their dress and behavior, so that they could be of help and not hindrance to young men who are also trying to “run the race” of faithfulness. Another resource for moms to use with daughters is Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre (Amazon).

Prepare young women to practice self-control with the goal of guarding their body, mind and soul. Mothers of daughters will find a great deal of biological wisdom in the book Unprotected by Miriam Grossman, M.D. (Amazon). As a campus psychiatrist at UCLA, Dr. Grossman treated some 2000 young women whose physical and emotional lives were impacted by sexually-transmitted infections, depression, abortion, and fertility issues. Fed up by the feminist ideology that insists that women are the same as men, Dr. Grossman left her position to tell the world why a woman’s body is more vulnerable and how to avoid physical, psychological and spiritual harm caused by unnecessary behavior. Purchase copies of the book for your local pregnancy resource center and young women in high school and college.

Be faithful in times of waiting. It’s not easy to wait for something wonderful. Too often, times of waiting stretch out for months and even years. While we wait, we can choose to be foolish or wise. A foolish woman anticipates good things but is not prepared to wait and does not have extra oil for her lamp (Matthew 25:1-13). A wise woman anticipates good things to come by keeping her lamp of faith burning brightly. When the waiting gets long, she doesn’t need to fear darkness and despair because her hope is sustained by the means of grace, namely God’s Word and Holy Communion. She remembers her Baptism and trusts her identity as a daughter of God in Christ Jesus. Filled with the Holy Spirit, she lives for Him rather than herself. Why do you think that “patience” and “self-control” are fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? While a young woman anticipates something wonderful in her life—most especially Jesus’ second coming—how might an older woman help her bear “good fruit” in her attitude, work habits and love for her neighbor? Does your congregational family intentionally mentor from one generation to the next?

What’s Next? #6: Mentor the Vocation of Motherhood

Ezer’s Handbook is a resource developed by
Linda Bartlett and presented at Titus 2 Retreats

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Vocation | Tagged anticipation, contentment, desires, emotions, happiness, heart, hope, patience, vulnerability of women | Leave a Comment »