Posts Tagged ‘child abuse’

Americans are waking up to the fact that we have sexualized our children.  They are appalled by the sensual dress of girls starting at early ages. They are worried about boys’ early addictions to pornography and that pedophiles lurk around many a dark corner.

I’m convinced, after 30 years of careful study, that sex talk and instruction has made boys and girls less safe.  More vulnerable.  The “sex talk” and images of TV, movies, and the internet threaten the physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness of the youngest generations.

But, how many of us are willing to admit that we’re part of the problem?  That we may have unintentionally broken down the wall of innocence to leave boys and girls more vulnerable to the pull of the world and their own human flesh?

Do you think that years of sex education, even for the best of intentions, could have anything to do with the sexualization of children?  Do you think that sex talk can raise curiosity?  Tantilize?  Stir up images?  Create a comfortableness with their fickle heart and deceptive flesh?

Let’s think about what happens in the sex ed classroom.  Boys and girls are rarely taught separately.  Beginning at a young age, these boys and girls are subjected to sex talk.  This sex talk is necessary, or so some say, because we are “sexual from birth.”

But, who said we are “sexual from birth?”  Well, o.k., maybe it wasn’t God, but we are “sexual beings,” aren’t we?  Don’t our children need to hear the “right” kind of sex talk?  Sexually educated (the “right” way), won’t they be better protected from teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?

What is the “right” way?  Is it the way we perceive it?  Educating the way we thought we should (including 30+ years of Christian sex education), do we have more or less teen pregnancy?  STDs?  Teen depression?  Abortion?  Cohabitation? Single parents?

Some people don’t like it when I refer to sex education as a form of child abuse.

Last year, an article of mine entitled “Child Abuse” was published.  The purpose was to help the Christian community recognize that we’ve let unbelieving neighbors in the land influence our teachings.  We have adapted worldly techniques and then attempted to wrap Jesus around them.  (He can’t and won’t.)  The article angered a Christian sex educator.  That anger, observed my husband, motivated me to bring order to some random notes and research.  If you will allow me to say so, I believe the Spirit was whispering: It is time.  Gather your years of experience and observations together into a helpful resource.

That resource is, for now, entitled Faithfulness: One Child at a Time.  It is a collection of questions and answers on sex education versus instruction in purity for Christian dialogue.  I’ve been encouraged by honest “editors.”  Perhaps it will soon become clear what should be done with it.

Last week, Todd Wilken and Jeff Schwartz invited me to discuss parts of the booklet on Issues, Etc.  You can find that interview here (see July 17).  Better than the interview is the PDF format which Issues, Etc. included for anyone who wants to explore some reasons for a dangerously sexualized culture.  Getting to the root of the problem, we are better able to provide a different kind of instruction.  A different kind of mentoring.  Speaking of mentoring, you may also find the document at Titus 2 for Life.

Over the next few days, I hope to post some excerpts from Faithfulness: One Child at a Time.  I’ll begin with the reasons why sex education – in or out of the church – might very accurately be labeled sex abuse.  Both Scripture and science concur.

Oh.  And there’s this to remember.  Perhaps we’ve been an advocate of sex education because we were deceived.  Fearing for our children, we may have put our trust in a particular theory or so-called expert.  Wrong thinking can be left in the past.  Truly sorry for ways we may have unintentionally brought harm, we are reconciled to God in Christ.  His Word gives us all we need to do battle with the world for the sake of our sons and daughters.

We engage in that battle by being distinctively different from the world.  Are you up for the challenge?

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What web does Planned Parenthood (PP) weave, its victims to deceive?

What is the deceit?  Who are the victims?  How is it funded?  Why?

The web begins to spin in public elementary schools.  It seems silly to help first graders plan parenthood, so perhaps something else is going on.  “Obstacles that make young people uncomfortable about themselves, their bodies and their relationships should be removed.”  Would that be parents? (“Manifesto” of PP, April 2001, CITIZEN, 7-01, p. 17)

More spinning.  “Society may frown on sex play between children, but we have to remember that society disapproves of a great many sexual acts that take place, and there are two sides to the story.”  (Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy, a member of Kinsey‘s research staff, 1981, p. 48 and 52)

More spinning.  “If [your parents] seem to fear your sexuality . . . you may feel you have to tune out their voice entirely.”  (Changing Bodies, Changing Lives by Ruth Bell, 1980)

More spinning.  “. . . Boys and girls who start having intercourse when they’re adolescents, expecting to get married later on, will find that it’s a big help in finding out whether they are really congenial or not . . . it’s like taking a car out for a test run before you buy it.”  (Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy, 1981, p. 117.  This and the two books above have been used by PP.)

Pause spinning.  Did you note when these textbooks were written?  Do you realize that as early as 1970, PP encouraged homosexuality as a way to reduce U.S. fertility?  So, should we be surprised that PP shared their key to the schoolhouse door with LGBT advocates?  Should we be surprised by the boldness of GLSEN, Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” program, and same-sex marriage proponents teaming up with PP in public schools?

More spinning.  Working hard to preserve “reproductive freedom,” PP disconnects procreation from sex.  In PP’s Young Woman’s Guide to Sexuality, girls learn “we are all sexual” and “sexual expression is one of our basic human needs, like water, food, and shelter.”  But, as Dr. Miriam Grossman asks, does PP mention that a girl is born with all the eggs she’ll ever have, and that when she turns thirty, her eggs do, too?

More spinning… and spinning.   Oh, my!  Our kids are sexually active!  (Does PP feign surprise?)  We can’t let children have children.  And, HIV/AIDS isn’t just for homosexuals anymore.  PP stands “ready to serve”.  Contraceptives all around!  Sixth grade girls practice putting condoms over the finger of sixth grade boys.  By freshman year, girls are on The Pill.  But, even after lessons on how to have sex without getting caught, pregnancy happens.

More spinning.  “These girls are much too young,” laments PP.  “They have college, careers and marriage ahead.  Let’s help them out of a difficult situation… by postponing their parenthood.”  In 2009, PP in the U.S. performed 332,278 surgical or RU-486 “home” abortions.  How many were on minor girls?  I’m not sure.  Parents aren’t always sure, either, because not every state requires parental notification.  Alternatives to abortion?  PP, last I knew, performed 134 abortions for every 1 adoption referral.

Certainly, the spinning stops here.  But, no.  Once a girl or young woman agrees to let PP help them and consents to an abortion,  she may be asked if she’d like to have “some good come out of a difficult situation.”  Fetal tissue “banks” stand ready to receive human embryos and, if a young woman is a certain number of weeks along in her pregnancy, she may choose to “donate.”  Human tissue “banks” don’t pay abortion clinics for the “products of conception.”  However, money may exchange hands for “handling, transportation, and/or storage.”  (WORLD, 8-13-11)

The web is tight.  Well financed.  Government is complicit in the deception and entrapment of our children.  PP is tax-payer funded.  SIECUS is tax-payer funded.  The California Teacher’s Association which supports the LGBT-friendly textbook is tax-payer funded.  The National Institutes of Health (NIH) which funds grants to fetal tissue distributors (WORLD, 8-13-11) is part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS); and, yes, is tax-payer funded.

The web is spun.  The child deceived and caught as prey.  The spinning continues night and day.  “Once I had an abortion, what did it matter?” a 40-something woman told me.  Her life, for many years, was a blur of promiscuity, alcohol, drugs, and two more abortions.  Until, one day, she heard the words, “The Spirit of the Lord . . . sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound” (Isaiah 61:1).

The web will be spun as long as the culture allows it.  But, one life at a time can be kept from the snare.  And, even after becoming prey, a single, precious life can be set free.  Free to begin again.  To heal.  To better navigate the journey.  To warn others away from the web.

The Failure of Sex Education is a short booklet written by L. Bartlett
for parents, educators, and church workers who want to protect children
from PP’s web.  Available from Lutherans For Life or CPH

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Why don’t we just admit it.  Child abuse is legal in this country.

We call it sex education.  But, in truth, it is child abuse.  Modern sex education abuses children by stripping them of their innocence.  It sexualizes our children.  Comprehensive sex education incorporates sexuality into language, thinking skills, health, science, and life-style.

Educators and parents (consciously or not) put their trust in a child abuser named Alfred Kinsey.  He is called the father of modern sex education.  Children, he said, are “sexual from birth.”  Few people paid any attention to the fact that Kinsey used known pedaphiles to experiment on children for the purpose of research.  His twisted documentation made its way into textbooks.  Homes.  Churches.  Those who share Kinsey’s disrespect for life and the innocence of children stood ready profit.  To further loosen moral restraints.

Removing the innocence of childhood has created a flourishing market for retailers.  The advertising industry.  Pharmaceutical companies.  Healthcare.  Planned Parenthood.  Who other than this government-subsidized monolith more unashamedly vies for the role of sex educator, pushes all manner of sexual paraphernalia, and then provides abortion services (for a fee, you understand).

I haven’t always used the term “child abuse” to describe sex education.  It was Douglas Gresham, the step-son of C.S. Lewis who helped me see it for what it is.  I had written Gresham to invite him as a speaker for Lutherans For Life.  I happened to mention personal efforts to help my church understand the dangers of sex education.  You are right to do so, he said, because “modern sex education is child abuse.”  Gresham knows what he’s talking about.  He ministers to women who’ve suffered sexual abuse and the loss of life through abortion that often follows years of abuse.  I, too, have heard the painful stories of women who became promiscuous after being exposed to early instruction in sexuality or blatantly sinful abuse.

For years, I traveled here and there speaking to boys, girls, and their parents.  I did not explain the intimacies of sex, but rather the uniqueness of male and female.  This was received as a strange and novel idea.  Maybe not surprising considering that moms and dads had been under the influence of Kinsey, too.  I kept asking: Why would we want to teach our children about all things pertaining to sex before first mentoring them to be boys?  Girls?  On the path to Biblical manhood.  Womanhood.

Churches have failed the youngest generations.  That’s what happens when we are deceived.  Fooled.  The world stands before us, hissing, “Did God really say . . . ?”  We look around to see new trends.  Sophistication.  Contemporary teaching.  Then, we fall into doubt.  We rationalize.  And we play the game.  The world wins when we are distracted from our vocation of instructing children in purity to instead educate them in sex.  So, along with others, I continue to encourage my church to please consider the source of modern sex education.  To refuse to wrap Jesus around worldly opinions and trends.

This mother and grandmother has sensitively-in tune antenna.  I sense, hear, and see that modern sex education is recruitment into sexuality.  Therefore, it is child abuse.

Modern sex education:

  • Is not anatomy class.
  • Fails to guard the innocence of children.
  • Breaks down inhibitions by placing boys and girls together in the same classroom.
  • Instructs children to be “comfortable with their bodies.” (And so they are… with girls having no clue as to why two cups and a thong might attract un-gentlemanly attention.)
  • Tempts children to believe they are, first and foremost, “sexual beings.”

When we believe that we are “sexual beings,” then it only follows that we have the “right” to be “sexual.”  That we “need” to be “sexual.”  And, in today’s culture, no one should deny “my rights.”  No one should deny “my needs.”  Well, here’s the truth that I will continue to proclaim: We are — first and foremost — human beings, made in the image of God and, although fallen from that image, we are called to holy living as a man or a woman.  Equal, but different.  Can you imagine how that changes the way we see ourselves and others?  The choices we make?  The way we treat one another?

The media and the general public is angry when a priest sexually abuses a child.  We should be.  But, where is our righteous anger when children fall under the tutorage of Planned Parenthood?   SIECUS?  LGBT and GLSEN-approved textbooks?  Projects such as “It Gets Better,” the “bullying” program initiated by homosexual advocate and leading “sex-advice” columnist Dan Savage?  (Warning: All of these sites are graphic.)

Children are not on this earth for our use.  They are gifts from God.  They are treasures of Jesus Christ.  I stand on this truth as a woman.  A mother.  A grandmother.  Try to prove me wrong.  Take your case before the Creator.  Question your reasons for defending sex education and the source of your information.

Educating children in sex is cruel.  It is a far cry from a parent’s role to instruct sons and daughters in purity.  Remembering our own mistakes, we may fear for our children, but comprehensive sex education does not protect young hearts, minds and souls.  Instruction in purity does.  It allows us to protect our children in ways we, perhaps, were not.

What can a parent do?  For starters, teach boys what it means to be a man.  Girls what it means to be a woman.  There are only two sexes, equal but different.  Teach respect for both.  Resist falling for the lie that “experts” know better how to raise your children.  Help children and teens set goals.  Discuss the consequences of choices. Remind them that their bodies are not their own to do with as they please, but creations of God and valued at high price (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

There is a time for everything.  Childhood is a time for innocence.  Therefore, keep the fence up and the gate closed.

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