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Posts Tagged ‘sex ed’

Americans are waking up to the fact that we have sexualized our children.  They are appalled by the sensual dress of girls starting at early ages. They are worried about boys’ early addictions to pornography and that pedophiles lurk around many a dark corner.

I’m convinced, after 30 years of careful study, that sex talk and instruction has made boys and girls less safe.  More vulnerable.  The “sex talk” and images of TV, movies, and the internet threaten the physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness of the youngest generations.

But, how many of us are willing to admit that we’re part of the problem?  That we may have unintentionally broken down the wall of innocence to leave boys and girls more vulnerable to the pull of the world and their own human flesh?

Do you think that years of sex education, even for the best of intentions, could have anything to do with the sexualization of children?  Do you think that sex talk can raise curiosity?  Tantilize?  Stir up images?  Create a comfortableness with their fickle heart and deceptive flesh?

Let’s think about what happens in the sex ed classroom.  Boys and girls are rarely taught separately.  Beginning at a young age, these boys and girls are subjected to sex talk.  This sex talk is necessary, or so some say, because we are “sexual from birth.”

But, who said we are “sexual from birth?”  Well, o.k., maybe it wasn’t God, but we are “sexual beings,” aren’t we?  Don’t our children need to hear the “right” kind of sex talk?  Sexually educated (the “right” way), won’t they be better protected from teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?

What is the “right” way?  Is it the way we perceive it?  Educating the way we thought we should (including 30+ years of Christian sex education), do we have more or less teen pregnancy?  STDs?  Teen depression?  Abortion?  Cohabitation? Single parents?

Some people don’t like it when I refer to sex education as a form of child abuse.

Last year, an article of mine entitled “Child Abuse” was published.  The purpose was to help the Christian community recognize that we’ve let unbelieving neighbors in the land influence our teachings.  We have adapted worldly techniques and then attempted to wrap Jesus around them.  (He can’t and won’t.)  The article angered a Christian sex educator.  That anger, observed my husband, motivated me to bring order to some random notes and research.  If you will allow me to say so, I believe the Spirit was whispering: It is time.  Gather your years of experience and observations together into a helpful resource.

That resource is, for now, entitled Faithfulness: One Child at a Time.  It is a collection of questions and answers on sex education versus instruction in purity for Christian dialogue.  I’ve been encouraged by honest “editors.”  Perhaps it will soon become clear what should be done with it.

Last week, Todd Wilken and Jeff Schwartz invited me to discuss parts of the booklet on Issues, Etc.  You can find that interview here (see July 17).  Better than the interview is the PDF format which Issues, Etc. included for anyone who wants to explore some reasons for a dangerously sexualized culture.  Getting to the root of the problem, we are better able to provide a different kind of instruction.  A different kind of mentoring.  Speaking of mentoring, you may also find the document at Titus 2 for Life.

Over the next few days, I hope to post some excerpts from Faithfulness: One Child at a Time.  I’ll begin with the reasons why sex education – in or out of the church – might very accurately be labeled sex abuse.  Both Scripture and science concur.

Oh.  And there’s this to remember.  Perhaps we’ve been an advocate of sex education because we were deceived.  Fearing for our children, we may have put our trust in a particular theory or so-called expert.  Wrong thinking can be left in the past.  Truly sorry for ways we may have unintentionally brought harm, we are reconciled to God in Christ.  His Word gives us all we need to do battle with the world for the sake of our sons and daughters.

We engage in that battle by being distinctively different from the world.  Are you up for the challenge?

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I’ve recently returned from leading another Titus 2 Retreat.  As always, the women are free to make comments on an evaluation sheet after the last session.  Here’s one that I received:

“You helped me think of abortion in a different way when you said it is a symptom of what is wrong.  While abortion is wrong, we need to protect our girls so it does not get to that point.  I thought that was enlightening.”

Enlightening?

Could it be that this faithful Lutheran woman had never thought about the behaviors that must first be chosen before a girl finds herself in a place where she even considers an abortion?  Did her church never explain this?  Did her church call abortion “wrong” and warn “don’t do it,” but fail to dig to the root of abortion and why too many people cling to it as some sort of “salvation?” Was she perhaps in agreement that children should be “more comfortable with their sexuality,” but then surprised when as many Christian as non-Christian girls seek abortions?

It seems so.  And, for that reason, Titus 2 will continue — for life.  It is in the best interests of boys and girls to be mentored in Biblical manhood and womanhood — before they learn about the procreative act of sex.  Their lives — and those of the preborn — are worth it.

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Christians have taken up with a man named Alfred Kinsey.  Knowingly or not, we embraced his worldview and adapted it as our own.  We rejected whatever seemed perverted, but quickly wrapped Jesus around whatever appealed to our (sinful) human nature.

Has the church paired with the “Canaanite woman?”   Have little icons of Kinsey’s religion been placed in the house?  Are not we all under the influence?   Have not the heads of two or three generations been turned by a worldview contrary to Christianity?

Kinsey’s worldview promoted the idea of total sexual autonomy even for girls and boys.  His beliefs were shared by Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood.  Together, they determined to free every man, woman, boy, and girl from the restraints of Biblical bondage.  They have accomplished what they set out to do.  It was not difficult.  One phrase — one simple distortion of truth — was repeated over and over: “Children are sexual from birth.”  If indeed “sexual,” then “sexual needs” cry out to be met.  “Sexual rights” must not be denied.  “Sexual expression” must take its “personal course.”

Once deceived, it was not long before fear took root.  “If children are intrinsically sexual beings, they will probably ‘do it;’ therefore, we have to help them ‘do it’ safely.”  No parent wants to see their son or daughter suffer HIV/AIDS or the new “illness” called pregnancy.  PP stood ready to help with a plethora of services including the s0-called “planning of parenthood” or practice of “reproductive choice,” a.k.a. abortion.

Parents — those to whom children are entrusted — doubted Biblical instruction in purity and stepped into the quicksand of sex education.   One worldview was exchanged for another and association with PP was rationalized.  But, Jesus — The Word — does not wrap Himself around opposing worldviews.

Jesus — The Word (John 1) — does not say that children are “sexual from birth.”  He says that children are knit together by God in the wombs of their mothers as human beings of the male or female sex.   He says that dads and moms are to guard the innocence of boys and girls, equal but different, as they also mentor Biblical manhood and womanhood.  Good parents do not rev up their son’s engine nor encourage their daughter’s provocative dress.  Good parents, according to the Christian worldview, instructs sons and daughters in patience.  Purity.  Wisdom.

Stealing away — child by child — from the Biblical worldview is the institutional monolith created by the Kinseyites and Sangerites.  Can we be so foolish as to not learn from history?  Just as the Canaanites had their way with the Israelites, do these modern “ites” have their way with us?  Does the modern church think itself beyond temptation? Can Christian parents — in any way — defend the work of PP?

Some Americans are calling for a full-scale Congressional investigation of PP.  In recent years,  PP clinics have been caught placing girls and young women at further risk.  PP employees have assisted pimps and sex traffickers, misled girls and women about the dangers of abortion, refused to comply with parental-notification laws, and misused millions of taxpayer dollars.  Evidence reveals PP’s failure to report child sex abuse.  Instead, PP clinics have been caught advising under-age girls and those who exploit them on how to circumvent mandatory reporting laws on rape and abuse.

PP needs to be investigated.  But, at the same time, Christians should be calling for full-scale investigations of their church’s educational sources, teaching, and practices.

We should clear our houses of Canaanite icons.

As people of God’s Word — both Old and New Testament — we should repent of our failures to guard the innocence of the little ones He calls by name.

We should contrast the Biblical worldview with all others.

Then, remembering that we have forgiveness in Jesus Christ, we can leave wrong ways behind.  Resist temptation and doubt.  Push back against ungodly-ites.  Restore and rebuild.

Early Christians knew they should stand in protection of their children.  That is why they instructed sons and daughters in patience.  Purity.  Wisdom.  That is why they encouraged modesty of dress and behavior.  That is why they taught that God’s Word can be trusted.

Modern Christians are compelled to do the same.

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