Americans are waking up to the fact that we have sexualized our children. They are appalled by the sensual dress of girls starting at early ages. They are worried about boys’ early addictions to pornography and that pedophiles lurk around many a dark corner.
I’m convinced, after 30 years of careful study, that sex talk and instruction has made boys and girls less safe. More vulnerable. The “sex talk” and images of TV, movies, and the internet threaten the physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness of the youngest generations.
But, how many of us are willing to admit that we’re part of the problem? That we may have unintentionally broken down the wall of innocence to leave boys and girls more vulnerable to the pull of the world and their own human flesh?
Do you think that years of sex education, even for the best of intentions, could have anything to do with the sexualization of children? Do you think that sex talk can raise curiosity? Tantilize? Stir up images? Create a comfortableness with their fickle heart and deceptive flesh?
Let’s think about what happens in the sex ed classroom. Boys and girls are rarely taught separately. Beginning at a young age, these boys and girls are subjected to sex talk. This sex talk is necessary, or so some say, because we are “sexual from birth.”
But, who said we are “sexual from birth?” Well, o.k., maybe it wasn’t God, but we are “sexual beings,” aren’t we? Don’t our children need to hear the “right” kind of sex talk? Sexually educated (the “right” way), won’t they be better protected from teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?
What is the “right” way? Is it the way we perceive it? Educating the way we thought we should (including 30+ years of Christian sex education), do we have more or less teen pregnancy? STDs? Teen depression? Abortion? Cohabitation? Single parents?
Some people don’t like it when I refer to sex education as a form of child abuse.
Last year, an article of mine entitled “Child Abuse” was published. The purpose was to help the Christian community recognize that we’ve let unbelieving neighbors in the land influence our teachings. We have adapted worldly techniques and then attempted to wrap Jesus around them. (He can’t and won’t.) The article angered a Christian sex educator. That anger, observed my husband, motivated me to bring order to some random notes and research. If you will allow me to say so, I believe the Spirit was whispering: It is time. Gather your years of experience and observations together into a helpful resource.
That resource is, for now, entitled Faithfulness: One Child at a Time. It is a collection of questions and answers on sex education versus instruction in purity for Christian dialogue. I’ve been encouraged by honest “editors.” Perhaps it will soon become clear what should be done with it.
Last week, Todd Wilken and Jeff Schwartz invited me to discuss parts of the booklet on Issues, Etc. You can find that interview here (see July 17). Better than the interview is the PDF format which Issues, Etc. included for anyone who wants to explore some reasons for a dangerously sexualized culture. Getting to the root of the problem, we are better able to provide a different kind of instruction. A different kind of mentoring. Speaking of mentoring, you may also find the document at Titus 2 for Life.
Over the next few days, I hope to post some excerpts from Faithfulness: One Child at a Time. I’ll begin with the reasons why sex education – in or out of the church – might very accurately be labeled sex abuse. Both Scripture and science concur.
Oh. And there’s this to remember. Perhaps we’ve been an advocate of sex education because we were deceived. Fearing for our children, we may have put our trust in a particular theory or so-called expert. Wrong thinking can be left in the past. Truly sorry for ways we may have unintentionally brought harm, we are reconciled to God in Christ. His Word gives us all we need to do battle with the world for the sake of our sons and daughters.
We engage in that battle by being distinctively different from the world. Are you up for the challenge?