Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Vocation, tagged Biblical worldview, God's Word, mentoring, podcast, Titus 2 Talk on November 1, 2012| Leave a Comment »
Please check out Ezerwoman’s new page entitled “Titus 2 Talk.” I’ve been encouraged to record portions of the Titus 2 Retreat and certain Ezerwoman blogs. Sometimes, I was reminded, it can be helpful to hear a personal voice, a “plea,” or a word of instruction and hope.
This is a new experience. Please pray that it honors the Lord of Life.
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Parenting & Education, tagged fountain of youth, hope, mentoring, old age, wisdom on June 25, 2012| 2 Comments »
Every younger generation benefits from the wisdom of sages. Too bad so many of today’s could-be-sages are distracted by the fountain of youth.
There’s something very sad and, honestly, quite unattractive about mothers who try to compete with their daughters. With fathers who would rather be “best buds” than dads to their sons.
Granted, the men and women of my generation have been long schooled to obsess on our bodies and, whatever the cost, maintain the appearance of youth. But, what does this do to our minds? What is the price paid by children? Grandchildren? Children in our neighborhoods?
Every younger generation deserves the wisdom and experience that is most naturally mentored by an older generation. But, in this present culture, we parents and grandparents seem to resist acting our age. Isn’t this rather selfish? If we’re absentee from the role of mentor, to whom are we abdicating?
The older generation hasn’t evolved, says the world. So, girls! Boys! Follow your heart! Listen to your instincts! Rubbish! How typical of the world to offer deceptive counsel. But, people who call themselves “Christian” should know better. We should value the wisdom that comes with age. Experience. Spiritual maturity.
As I was preparing the keynote address for a women’s conference, I was drawn to passages from 1 Timothy 5. There, the Apostle Paul is speaking to young Timothy like a father. He is inspired by the Holy Spirit to offer instructions for the church. Something the church is called to do is honor the widows, especially those who are truly left alone. What got my attention was the distinction made between an “older” and “younger” widow. Verse 9 notes that a widow is eligible for church assistance if she is not less than 60 years old. The one who has been a faithful wife of one husband, has a reputation for good works, has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of saints, and has cared for the afflicted is considered to be a wise woman who won’t bring shame to the congregation.
But, what about a younger widow; a woman less than 60 years of age? The household of God is to encourage her to marry and manage her household; if possible, to have children. Why the clear distinction of age here? Because, as real life has a way of proving out, younger women are more captive to their passions. They are more tempted to romantic desires, idleness, and gossip or saying things they should not. They are more easily deceived by worldly trends and led away from Jesus Christ.
What do you think of that? Does this make sense to you?
God’s Word consistently through Old and New Testament reminds the older generation to mentor the younger. The Creator of life entrusts children to parents; not to their peers. He wants parents and grandparents to tell children and grandchildren about the wonders of God’s work. This includes all the lessons learned over the course of time and in the midst of challenges. So, when a man or woman refuses to accept their age, resists learning from past mistakes, and clings to the foolishness of youth, woe to the young ones in their charge.
As for me? Well, I admit I don’t like the gravity of age. My head, after all, still thinks creatively. Enthusiastically. Optimistically. Laughter is good for my soul – and others.
But, given to me are priceless years. Years of experience. Years of lessons often learned the hard way. Years of seeing God at work in my life. Why would I want to keep that all to myself? Where is the shame in acting my age?
Posted in Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged Girl Scouts, ideology, mentoring on January 21, 2012| Leave a Comment »
I’ve always been rather fond of Girl Scout Cookies. My favorites? Thin mints. But, no more.
There’s something dark and twisted about Planned Parenthood receiving some of the profits. It goes deeper. If you have a few minutes, you might want to read the following article from the Washington Times.
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, Vocation, tagged boys, child protection, girls, hope, mentoring, parenting, purity, sex education on July 29, 2011| 1 Comment »
There is a reason God’s Word speaks consistently and often about purity. It is the best way to protect children in a fallen and sinful world.
We must never fool ourselves by saying we are teaching purity in sex education. The two concepts don’t mix. Education in sex is what it says it is. Instruction in purity is quit different. God never tells parents to educate children about sex, but to raise their sons and daughters in purity. He equips parents to do this throughout all of Scripture.
You may think I’m quibbling with words. But, I’m not. Take the concepts for what they are. Trace them to their sources. Discover the original goal and intention of each. Then follow the trail of consequences.
We all need to do better in protecting our children. Many loving Christian parents, with their children’s best interests in mind, have inadvertently and most innocently placed their children in harm’s way. I don’t say that lightly. I don’t say that as a mom who did everything right by her children. But, we Christians can’t just point our fingers at non-Christians and say, “Look! They are bad! They let children do whatever they want!” We can’t just look at Planned Parenthood and say, “Shame on them! They are cruel! They wiggle their way into public classrooms to abuse our children!”
We Christian moms and dads must try to be honest. There is another kind of child abuse. It is done unintentionally by good parents. It is done without careful analysis, but for supposedly all the right reasons. Nevertheless, it is cruel. It is a form of child abuse. What would you call starting children in sex ed at an early age, adding more information with every year, putting boys and girls together for intimately graphic conversation and details on birth control, explaining that God wants the act of sex to be saved for marriage, but then telling sons and daughters to wait to marry until after getting their degree and settling into a good job?
We don’t have to unintentionally abuse children. We can intentionally protect them. And God tells us how.
He wants parents to teach His definition of love. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, God tells what love is: “patient and kind,” and what it isn’t: “arrogant . . . rude, or insistent on its own way.”
Both fathers and mothers can teach sons and daughters to “have nothing to do with silly myths,” but instead “train for godliness.” (1 Timothy 4:7-10). We put scholars and athletes through intense training for a purpose. Similar training is also required for living in a way that pleases God; for running the “race” of life (1 Corinthians 9:24-26). Parents can contrast “sexual immorality” and “sensuality” with “patience” and “self-control” (Galatians 5:16-24).
Dads or godly mentors can take boys aside to teach them how to respect women. “Treat older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:1-2). To practice self-control (Titus 2:6). Big brothers can guard the virginity of their younger sisters and, if she becomes promiscuous, help her stop (Song of Solomon 8:8-9).
Moms or godly mentors can take girls aside to teach them how to respect and help men. “. . . [L]et your adorning be . . . beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4-5). How to dress, and why… “with what is proper for women who profess godliness” (1 Timothy 2:9-10). How to “be self-controlled and pure” (Titus 2:4-5).
Then, even though the world may ridicule young people for saying “no” to sex, we can encourage them: Don’t let anyone “despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:11-12).
God also tells us how to welcome our children when they’ve tried, but failed. We are to welcome our children as He welcomes us. “Come to Me,” Jesus always says. Then, He assures us that when “we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
Tomorrow, in Christ, is brimming with hope.
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Relationships, tagged anxiety, body language, emotions, environment, fear, feelings, God's Word, hope, Jesus Christ, mentor, mentoring, message, neighbors, presentation, Titus 2 for Life, women's ministry on June 7, 2011| Leave a Comment »
This week I will be speaking twice. In my home town.
I am nervous. Unable to focus. Doubtful. It isn’t that I doubt the mentoring ministry I represent. Nearly every day I see evidence that our culture has lost its way. That we’ve forgotten (or never been told) how to live as men and women. The Word of God compels me more today than it did when I was first nudged from my comfort zone to begin Titus 2 for Life.
But, I’m a person affected by environment. I’ve been known to take a candle along with me on a trip just in case the hotel room is cold and unwelcoming. I’m also affected by other people. It matters to me that relationships are built, not destroyed. I’m acutely aware of body language. Once, while speaking about a controversial issue, I heard a scribbling noise. To my side, a woman was pressing her pencil hard on a page in her study guide. Head bent down, whole body engaged, she blackened the paper with great sweeping motions. Was she angry… or hurting? Whichever, she had my attention: How should I respond?
So, what happens when speaking in my own home town? To the people with whom I live? I’m extra sensitive to my closest neighbors and tender relationships. Differing perspectives. Maturity and immaturity. A sense — or lack — of humor. Personal history. Agreement. Disagreement. Defenses down… or up. Do I only imagine it, or does the room close in? Confuse my thoughts? Leave me a bumbling fool? What words can I utter that will be right for everyone? These people with real lives… my closest neighbors?
His Words. Not mine. His Truth. Not my opinion.
Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him. Do not add to His words . . . (Proverbs 30:5).”
I covet your prayer: His Truth from my mouth. For the sake of my neighbors.
Maybe I will take a candle.
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, tagged abortion, choices, health, hope, man, mentoring, Planned Parenthood, rebelliousness, sexual freedom, sexuality, teens, woman, women's health on May 2, 2011| 1 Comment »
Not many people I know like abortion. Those who support it as a “choice” or “right” claim they want to make abortion “safe, legal, and rare.” Seems to me they’ve failed with two of their three goals.
They’ve failed to make abortion “safe.” Planned Parenthood, Dr. Leroy Carhart and other abortion providers have certainly not made abortion any safer than it was when so-called “back-alley” abortions were performed. Abortion is, after all, either a surgery or chemical. The littlest person involved is always sacrificed by way of death. I fear women are sacrificed as well, some dying and many others placed at risk emotionally and/or spiritually.
They’ve failed to make abortion “rare.” Planned Parenthood and other so-called “health clinics” that promote sexual intimacy among teens are certainly not making abortion rare. Doubt me? Visit TeenWire, Planned Parenthood’s site for teens, and come to your own conclusion. Do you think the message of “do whatever feels right” would decrease or increase not only abortion but sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, and AIDS? Set young people up for a fall? Create a self-perpetuating business… for certain federally-funded “women’s health clinics”?
Ahhh… but Planned Parenthood and their associates in business have certainly been successful in making abortion legal. But, who stands to gain? Who loses?
I don’t subscribe to the belief that women need abortion to bring some “control” to their lives. The highest percentage of women who become pregnant choose to engage in the procreational act of sex. Nor do I subscribe to the mantra that “teens are going to do ‘it’ anyway, so let’s make it safe.” This is foolishness! What school principal would inform students how to steal without getting caught? Binge eat and purge? Drink, do drugs, or smoke responsibly?
I believe each person is of great value in God’s sight; therefore, deserving of my protection and honest words of warning. Contrary to what Margaret Sanger and Alfred Kinsey believed, human beings are capable of self-restraint. We don’t have to be ruled by emotions and desires. We aren’t, after all, made in the image of animals. We are capable of thinking. Reasoning. Dreaming. Building relationships. Serving others. Bearing burdens. Preparing for the future. Being patient. And making choices that lead away from despair and, instead, toward hope.
I choose life over death. Therefore, I choose not to send boys and girls out into the street to play or herd them toward the edge of a cliff, but instead, stand in their way saying “No!” “Stop!” “Turn around!” I choose not to help them find holes in protective fences, but instead, repair the broken gate.
I choose not to squelch the natural rebelliousness of youth, but to use it to resist everything that is wrong in this world. Including Planned Parenthood.
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged children, classroom, Day of Silence, deception, GLSEN, mentoring, parental rights, parents, school, sexuality, teachable moment on April 8, 2011| 1 Comment »
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) is sponsoring “Day of Silence” this April 15 in some public schools across the country. To where… and what… does this group want to lead our children?
Some call this a “hijacking of the classroom.” Others label it “political propaganda.” Take note of the name of this organization. How deceitfully it shapes impressionable minds to believe that any and all sexual preferences are “normal.” The question hangs heavy: “Will there be a ‘Day of Silence’ for Biblical manhood and womanhood? For traditional marriage? For “equal, but different”? For abstaining ’til marriage?
What is the destination determined for our children by GLSEN?
There is only one voice I know of that tempts and stirs up doubt. It is the voice that asks, “Did God really say . . . ?” That voice is hissing in the ears of our children today. Did God really say He created humans: male and female? Did God really say He made male to fit with female within the faithfulness of marriage? Did God really say behaviors can bring blessings or curses?
Is this event being planned for your school? (The national date in 2011 is April 15, but some schools observe Day of Silence on a different date.) Learn more by visiting Day of Silence Walkout.
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Life issues, Relationships, tagged family, in-your-face, marriage, mentoring, politically correct, society on April 4, 2011| Leave a Comment »
The front page headline of my local paper read, “Mr. and Mr.” Beneath the headline was a photograph of two newly-wed young men, holding hands and kissing. The story continued from page one to page three where a second photo was featured of the two men signing their marriage license. The “feature story” described how the couple met and why they decided to marry. Comments from family members and friends were included.
I wonder. The photos from my son’s and daughter-in-law’s weddings were relegated to the “wedding section” of the paper. No reporters were on hand to ask how my sons and their wives met or why they decided to marry. No comments from family members and friends were included.
I wonder what my hometown newspaper is trying to tell me… or my grandchildren… .
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged cultural influence, mentoring, teen girls, truth, womanhood on January 22, 2011| 1 Comment »
My Grandmother Barhite died when I was 13. I spent a lot of time with her. She was a teacher, listener, encourager, friend, and faithful helper. I learned about the gift of hospitality and service from both my mom and my dad’s mom. Both taught me to serve others rather than self. Sleep-overs with Grandma were more than fun, they were lessons in womanhood, family life and growing in faith. When Grandma died, I lost a mentor.
Or did I? In a box of Grandma’s photos, I discovered one of her girlhood books. It is a keepsake. Often, I quote from it during Titus 2 Retreats. The book was published in 1898 by author Mary Wood-Allen, M.D. Notable women of Dr. Allen’s day recommend the book. They include Mrs. Lillian M.N. Stevens, President of National Woman’s Christian Temperance Union; Mrs. Helen Campbell, Dean of the Department of Household Economics in the Kansas State Agricultural College, and Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, noted Woman Suffragist, Lecturer, and Author. The book is titled What a Young Woman Ought to Know from the “Purity and Truth: Self and Sex Series.” In reading this book, I realize that Grandma is still mentoring me. I also realize that Biblical womanhood (and manhood) has been foundational for the benefit of society for a long, long time.
From time to time, I hope to share a few quotes from my grandma’s book. Consider the Preface:
During a number of years it has been my privilege to be the confidante and counselor of a large number of young women of various stations in life and in all parts of the United States.
Hmmm. I’m not a physician like Dr. Mary Wood-Allen, but I have been privileged to be taken into the confidence of a number of young women both far away and close to home.
These girls have talked freely with me concerning their plans, aspirations, fears and personal problems. It has been a great revelation to me to note with what unanimity they ask certain questions concerning conduct — queries which perhaps might astonish the mothers of these same girls, as they, doubtless, take it for granted that their daughters intuitively understand these fundamental laws of propriety.
Hmmm. Girls have also shared with me their hopes, dreams, and personal problems. They ask many of the same questions about behavior and choices. They express frustration about their identity, their bodies, and relationships. Fewer mothers and grandmothers have tried to pass on ideas of Biblical womanhood so most of these girls have learned about being a woman from the culture.
The truth is that many girls who have been taught in the olgies of the schools, who have been trained in the conventionalities of society, have been left to pick up as they may their ideas upon personal conduct, and, coming face to face with puzzling problems, are at a loss, and perhaps are led into wrong ways of thinking and questionable ways of doing because no one has foreseen their dilemma and warned them how to meet it.
Hmmmm. Today’s young women have been “oligized.” But, far too many have little or no idea about their origin, purpose, or destination. They have been taught how to “feel” but perhaps not how to think.
Life will be safer for the girl who understands her own nature and reverences her womanhood, who realizes her responsibility towards the human race and conducts herself in accordance with that realization . . . Life will be nobler and purer in its possession and its transmission if, from childhood onward to old age, the thoughts has been held that ‘Life is a gift of God and is divine.’
I am an ezerwoman. A helper woman. This is a vocation through which I can help younger women be safer, realize responsibility, and make choices that lead toward hope. This begins with the confidence of identity: I am a creation of God and treasure of Jesus Christ.
Truth in 1898. Truth in 2011. Timeless. Life-changing. Rich with promise.
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Ezerwoman's Blog 
Lack of Self-Control = Unhappy Women
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged arrogance, children, common sense, Dennis Prager, depression, hope, hopelessness, Jesus Christ, mentoring, narcissism, parents, promise, self-control, self-indulgence, selfishness, The Washington Times, Titus 2, Titus 2 for Life, unhappiness, women's health on June 7, 2011| Leave a Comment »
New scientific research shows that if adults cultivate the practice of self-control — starting early — in children, a great many could be saved from addictions, poverty, and crime. Isn’t that just like scientific evidence? Always lagging behind but, when pure, testifying to God’s order of creation.
This ezerwoman is a better helper — of men, children, and society — when I practice self-control. Lest I forget (or resist), God consistently reminds me to be “self-controlled.” The books of 1 and 2 Timothy refer to the virtue of “self-control” at least four times. At least five times, the book of Titus instructs older men and women to practice and mentor “self-control.” There’s good reason. Self-control glorifies God. It can result in more hopeful consequences. It can even reduce depression
Self-control is the opposite of living our lives however we please. Doing whatever makes us “happy.” Insisting that our “needs” be met. Serving self over others. Perhaps this is what happens when times are good. We give ourselves license… for whatever, whenever. We have (in my American lifetime) “lived on the earth in luxury and in self-indulgence” (James 5:5). For sure, it is what happens when women are encouraged to let their emotions rule.
But, encouraging girls and young women to let their emotions rule has not made them happy. It is widely reported, writes Dennis Prager, that women suffer depression at twice the rate of men. If the clinical assumptions are true, Prager suggests that we consider the following:
“Wise cultures have learned that happiness is attained only when we conquer our nature. This is true for male and female. With modern feminism, however, came a belief in the superiority of the female nature. The result? Society was urged to suppress both the negative and positive aspects of the male nature with little or no suppression of the female nature. Historically, societies and parents have always known it’s a good thing to teach boys to control two aspects of their male nature — their sexual desires and their predilection for violence. Decent men were taught from youth to touch a woman sexually only with her permission and to channel physical aggression into sports or into helping fight evil by joining the police force or military. Men who didn’t learn to control these aspects of male nature not only became bad men, but unhappy men.”
He continues, “Societies and parents also knew it was important to help girls control their natures — in particular, their predilection to be ruled by their emotions. Women who allowed their emotions to rule them not only became destructive (to members of their families first and foremost), they became unhappy women. But, while modern society continued to teach boys to control themselves, it stopped teaching girls to do so. Girls’ emotions and feelings were treated as inherently valuable. In fact, to repress a girl’s emotions or feelings was labeled ‘sexist’ and showed a ‘hatred of women.’ ” (Excerpted from “Wanted by women: A few good old-fashioned men” by Dennis Prager, The Washington Times, 6-30-08)
Hmmm. I’m reminded of the woman who showed up at an abortion clinic. Why? “He kissed me and I melted. I was filled with passion and couldn’t help myself. Now, I’m pregnant and must take control of my body.”
Lack of self control + unhappy woman = desperation and hopelessness. Ugh.
There is another choice. Mature men and women can be examples of self-control and mentor younger ones to do the same. There is promise in such practice: Hope for living out our lives in anticipation of Jesus’ return (Titus 2).
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