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Posts Tagged ‘caregiving’

Down From the Lighthouse

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , on September 2, 2011| Leave a Comment »

When I was a little girl, my parents took my brother and me to Split Rock Lighthouse on the North Shore of Lake Superior.  We returned for numerous visits.  I was fascinated with the lighthouse.  What fun, I thought, to be the daughter of the lighthouse-keeper!

Re-visiting the Lighthouse as an adult, I recognized the lighthouse-keeper’s job was a lonely one.  Daily structured.  Difficult in the midst of storms.   The duty of the lighthouse-keeper, after all, was to keep the light shining no matter what.  Wicks needed to be trimmed.  Plenty of oil on hand.  All equipment needed to be in working order so that nothing prevented the light from shining when fog quickly rolled in or darkness overwhelmed the shoreline.

There was another duty.  From time to time, the lighthouse-keeper was called down from his lofty place high on the hill to the rocky shore below where hurting lives lay ship-wrecked and in trouble.

Such is our duty, too.  We are called to shine our lights high on the hill to help everyone see.  The light of God’s Word flowing through us warns others of danger and shows the way of hope and salvation.  But, when someone is hurting because he or she has come upon hard times, suffering and pain, God’s Word compels us to step down from the hill to offer comfort and care.   To help carry the burden.  God’s love flows through our servant hands.

My friend’s mom, Gladys, came down from her lighthouse countless times to serve the needs of others.  Now, it is is the turn of her children and grandchildren to serve.  To show their respect.  To practice caring.  To model what Gladys taught them.  I know.  I know.  Gladys would much rather go to the mansion God has prepared for her, but not yet.  Not until God’s work in and through her is done.  For now, she can trust that God is doing a work through her for others.  She can trust that He is speaking to her about important matters of eternal significance.  Then, as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane, she can know that God’s will is being accomplished.

Things for Gladys seem upside down.   Storms have carried her wrecked and helpless body onto the rocky shore.  But, the light in Gladys is still shining.  The oil of God’s Word has so filled Gladys that, even as a very sick patient, her light inspires others to kindness.  Patience.  A servant’s love.

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What Is the Price of One Life?

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2011| 2 Comments »

My friend, Rita, is sitting at the bedside of her mother.  It has been Rita’s great joy and blessing to have Gladys as her mom.  Now, as mother battles life-threatening infection, daughter wants to serve as she’s been served.  She is doing that by faithfully remaining at her mom’s side… reading to her, praying with her, and re-counting treasured memories.

It is at such times, however, that even the most faithful believers ask, “God, where are You?  Why do you allow our loved one to endure this?”  Gladys has lived a full and good life.  “She has been faithful, Lord.  Isn’t her work done?  Dear Jesus, why don’t You just take her home with you?”

Our family asked similar questions not long ago when my father-in-law battled bacterial brain infection.  We were given opportunity to hang on to and put into practice every pro-life conviction on which we stand.  For years, I had been speaking to others about the value of one life — the life in the womb and the life in a hospital bed.  So, I had to ask myself, what value was I going to put on the life of my husband’s father?  After all, he was 80 years old.  (Gladys is 91.)  His life was blessed.  Full.  Active.  He knew Jesus as His Savior and I knew my father-in-law, Max, would be taken to heaven when he died.  I knew I would forever appreciate the wisdom he had shared and the lessons he had taught.

I remember days and nights when Max, almost catatonic, could only thrash fitfully in bed.  I remember spoon-feeding him and begging him to swallow before a feeding tube was inserted.  Without really meaning to, Max pulled it out three times.  Three antibiotics were flowing into his bloodstream by IV.  No one knew for sure what the side-effects of those toxic chemicals might be.  So, when the brain surgeon said there was no more she could do, and the infectious disease team told us the odds of beating this infection were not good, and the social worker encouraged us to “take your dad home to hospice,” we could have said, “It has been a good fight.  We did all we could.”

But, God wasn’t through with Max — and He wasn’t through with me or my family either.  There were so many more lessons yet to be taught and learned.  From a bed not of his choosing, Max challenged his family to make words real in deed.  Not by accident he became my teacher, model, and witness.  My journal is filled with lessons taught by a man who was ready to meet Jesus; yet so desperately clung to the life he loved.  Here are a few of those lessons:

SERVICE: How can we make a difference when we are helpless?  Max had always been a hard worker.  His hands tilled the soil and planted the seed.  But God does not need our hands or anything else we have to offer.  His work is accomplished in spite of us.  God said to Max Bartlett, “My power is made perfect in your weakness.”  This power was witnessed by family, friends, and the medical community.

DETERMINATION: Although we were willing to let Max be with Jesus, we weren’t ready to give up.  Nor was a man named Ravi Vemuri, a physician who seemed to have developed a personal interest in Max and his ever-present family.  Dr. Vemuri, a practicing Hindu, loved life too, and he had one more antibiotic to try.  In addition, perhaps moved by our involvement, he granted our request to compliment his chemical approach with nutritional supplements.  The determination of doctor, family, and the patient Max was not lost on those who watched.

CONTROL: Desiring some kind of control, I wanted to work with a plan.  On the days when we nearly lost Max, I planned for death.  On the days when he rallied, I planned for life.  But, through Max Bartlett, God showed me that He has a plan not like my own.  He asked me only to trust.

INCONVENIENCE: If asked how I would handle sometimes 15-hour days in a hospital room and shared sleeping quarters with assorted family members, I’m not sure how I would have responded.  But God did not ask me how I felt about such things.  Through Max, He simply asked me to be faithful.

SELF: During my first long stay at the hospital, my thoughts turned to self.  Does anyone appreciate what I am doing or realize what I’m giving up?  In a private moment I will never forget, God used the patient, Max, to help the caregiver, Linda, adjust her attitude.

WORSHIP: One evening, alone with my father-in-law, I asked, “Sometimes, when you appear to be sleeping, you are really talking to God, aren’t you Max?”  Squeezing my hand even tighter, he simply said, “Yes, you know, don’t you?”  What soul work was being done.  A frightening brush with death brought a humble man of God named Max Bartlett into an even closer relationship with His Heavenly Father.

So, what is the price of one life?  Is it the price of helplessness or suffering?  Is it the price of sleepless nights and frightening days?  Is it the price of inconvenience?

The price of one life is what God puts on it.  He planned that life.  He knit that life together in the secret place of a mother’s womb.  He promised to be with that life whether dependent on bottle-feeding or tube feeding.  He loves that life.  The greatness of that love is evidenced by the Cross on which His own dear Son, Jesus Christ, was sacrificed for one life — yours, mine, a preborn child, Max, and Gladys.

God wants us to love one life, too.  He wants us to protect one life and speak up for one life.  Early in my pro-life ministry days, I predicted that the generation that ushered in abortion would be ushered out by euthanasia.  This culture has been shaped to value human life only if it is wanted.  Convenient.  Not a threat to our own.  But, the value God places on the life He creates and redeems is priceless.  God wants us to be an advocate for each life.  To leave ourselves open and willing to learn every lesson taught by the “least of these.”  To trust.

If God gives us one life to love, He will also give us what we need — for as long as we need it — to care for that life.

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Never Poured Out to Empty

Posted in Faith & Practice, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2011| 1 Comment »

My friend and mentor, Joanie, knew she was engaged in daily spiritual battle.  Her soul and the souls of those around her were targets for the enemy of our lives.  It was for this reason that Joanie tightly grasped the Sword of Truth.  “God’s Word is all I need.”

Once, while walking through a deep valley in her life, Joanie asked me to write out the words of Lamentations 3:21-23 (KJV):  “This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope.  It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness.”  I wrote out a second copy for myself.

One of Joanie’s favorite authors was Oswald Chambers.  His book, My Utmost for His Highest, is in our home library.  At a time when I was feeling insignificant and unappreciated, my husband asked me to read a page he had marked in the book.  There, Chambers quoted Philippians 2:17 (NIV):  “But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.”  Chambers’ commentary reads:

“Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for the work of another believer — to pour out your life sacrificially for the ministry and faith of others?  Or do you say, ‘I am not willing to be poured out right now, and I don’t want God to tell me how to serve Him.  I want to choose the place of my own sacrifice.  And I want to have certain people watching me saying, ‘Well done.’ ”

Chambers had my attention.  I was compelled to read on.

“It is one thing to follow God’s way of service if you are regarded as a hero, but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a ‘doormat’ under other people’s feet.  God’s purpose may be to teach you to say, ‘I know how to be abased . . .’ (Philippians 4:12).  Are you ready to be sacrificed like that?  Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket — to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those you served?  Are you willing to give and be poured out until you are used up and exhausted — not seeking to be ministered to, but to minister?”

I am thankful that my husband was drawn to this particular commentary from Chambers’ book.  I reflect on it whenever I’m tempted by my human nature:  Does anyone notice my hard work?  Does anyone see how “poured out” I am?  Will I be credited for my help?  Then I think about Joanie.  She was always pouring herself out for others.  She was my hero, but the life marked out for her required becoming a doormat.

Joanie was willing to be insignificant — to give and minister to others — all the while calling attention to the Savior Jesus Christ.  In turn, something amazing happened.  Joanie was never poured out to empty.  God’s Spirit filled her with enough for each day.  His compassions never failed.  They were new every morning.

Poured out?  Unappreciated?  Used up?  God sent me Joanie whose life assured me: “Great is Thy faithfulness.”  As I pour out to His glory, He is faithful to fill up.

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After Abortion: How to Respond

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Some say, “How could a woman end the life of her child?”  This statement is not intended to be cruel, but it is heard as a  judgment.

Others, hoping to be less judgmental, say, “I would never have have an abortion myself, but I believe every woman should have the right to choose.”  This statement sounds compassionate, but to the woman who has had the abortion, it sounds like a comparison: “Abortion is wrong and because I am a good person I wouldn’t do such a terrible thing, but women not capable of doing the right thing should have a choice.”

Both statements are condeming.  Neither offer hope before or after an abortion.

There is a third response.  Trying to imitate Jesus.  Jesus understands why people like you and me sin.  He came to live among us —  to feel our frustration, fears, and sorrow.  He placed Himself in the midst of a messy world.  Jesus loved us so much that He willingly took on our disgrace, our burden, our sin.  Only by living under His Cross am I able to see those hurt by sin (including my own) in a new way.

Days on which we celebrate life are meant to be happy days, but for many they are not.  In the heart of nearly every post-abortive woman is an empty place that is forever expectant and waitiing.  Although she may have believed the lie that there was no room, a cry of sorrow echoes in the room that was always there… waiting.

We cannot go back to erase years of legalized abortion nor the effect on women, men, children, and society.  Mothers who once believed there was no room in their life for a baby now mourn the child whose heart beat so close under their own.  Fathers who once believed there was no room in their life for a baby are now angry at themselves for failing to protect their son or daugher.  Grandparents who once believed there was no room in their lives for a baby now dream of grandchildren that would have filled the rooms of their homes with laughter.

Sometimes, when I am holding my grandsons, my thoughts turn to Mary.  She approached me after I was finished speaking to a group of women.  She asked for my address and phone number.  In the letters and conversations that followed, she confessed two abortions.  “There has been so much pain in my heart,” Mary wrote.  “I could understand how God could forgive a murderer, but not someone who has killed their own child.”

This pain and the belief that she had committed the sin “too big to be forgiven” held Mary captive.  But, “the reason I want to tell you my story,” Mary continued, “is to thank you.  If, years earlier, I had heard the words of compassion and forgiveness that I heard from you, I would not have had a second abortion.  I would have been reconciled to God and turned my life around a lot earlier instead of wallowing in the muck of sin and accusation.”

“Marys” are everywhere… and they are waiting.  They are silently waiting for a word of hope.  Their broken hearts long to be healed.  God has given to me — to you — His Word to speak in love.  To be sure, the Word of Truth presses hard on the source of pain.  The psalmist (Psalm 32:3-5) writes:

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.  For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.  Then I acknowledged my sin to You, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

There is hope for women and men who have been pierced by abortion’s blade.  It is Jesus.  In Jesus, all who confess their sin are cleansed and forgiven (1 Timothy 1:15).  In Jesus, the captive is set free (Galatians 5:1).

(The thoughts of this post are available in a
brochure form upon request from Word of Hope or LFL.)

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Called By Name

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , on March 31, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Abortion does not think about the future.  Seventy six million baby boomers could soon realize that the lives might become a burden because 53 million people who would have supported an aging population were aborted.  That’s an economic nightmare.

But, there’s a more personal side to this nightmare.  Each one of the 53 million boys and girls who have been aborted in the U.S. alone since 1973 had a name (Isaiah 43:1-2).

I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine,” says the Creator and Lord God

Abortion drops a name placed upon a unique and treasured person.  It is a name known by God before all eternity for all eternity.  It is a name of a boy or girl who would have impacted this world in ways we’ll never know.

Abortion drops a name from a teacher’s grade book.  From 4-H club or Boys Scouts or junior olympics.  From schools of music, agriculture, or medicine.  From the consumer index and first-time home ownership.  For the tax rolls.  From bonds of marriage, parenthood, and genealogies.

Abortion drops a name from baptism, confirmation, and the mission field.

There is an emptiness when a name is dropped by abortion.  Women we know who have suffered the loss of an aborted child would explain this if only we’d listen.  That’s because a mother knows that a child created and named by God can never be replaced.

God named each on of this nation’s 53 million aborted children.  For each one He had a future and hope.  Even though each would have been born into sin, God had for them a robe of righteousness because of what Jesus did on a Cross for them.  Our world is less because these children are not with us.  Our world suffers when people created for a purpose and called by name are considered “untimely,” “inconvenient,” or “fearful.”

But, God has also named every mother who feared her child; who failed to see her child’s future and hope; who, deceived by other voices, doubted that God is good and can be trusted in every circumstance.  He calls each empty mother by name: “My daughter in Christ!  Life your countenance toward Me!”  He waits with open arms for each mother with a broken and repentant heart. “Turn to Me . . . acknowledge your sin . . . and I will forgive your guilt” (Psalm 32:3-5).  “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; thought they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool” (Isaiah 1:18).  “Woman . . . neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more” (John 8:11).

A woman who faces the reality of her abortion is in need of someone else whom God has named.  That person is you.  It is me.  We are “friends.”  “Comforters.”  “Encouragers” on the journey from the dark valley toward “goodness and mercy” (Psalm 23).

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