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Not Gender Neutral

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Words matter, especially the words God chooses to speak to us.

So, I am thankful that the largest evangelical denomination in the nation — the Southern Baptist Convention  — voted recently not to commend the 2011 New International Version (NIV) Bible because of its gender-neutral language.  Why?  Because it alters the intended theological message.

For a long time, I have been appreciative of the work of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW).  It has helped point me to a proper understanding of the uniqueness of male and female.  My respect for both only grows.  I hope I am passing on this respect through Titus 2 Retreats.  Dr. Randy Stinson is the president of CBMW.  He is also the dean of the School of Church Ministries at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.  He notes that Southern Baptists and other Christians “affirm what we call the ‘verbal, plenary inspiration’ of Scripture which means that we believe not just the broad thoughts of Scripture are inspired by God, but every word.  And so every word, when it is translated from Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic, matters.”

Yes!  Amen!  Let it be so!

I, too, embrace a word-for-word translation philosophy.  And, to better help me understand the meaning of God’s carefully chosen words, I am also thankful for the Lutheran Study Bible (English Standard Version).

God really did say.  And He used specific words to say it!

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Parents & Gender Diversity Training

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 21, 2011| 1 Comment »

All students at Redwood Heights Elementary School in Oakland, CA., were recently instructed in a sexual indoctrination course.  The training host and consultant was a Bay Area-based organization called Gender Spectrum.

In the lesson called “Gender Spectrum Diversity Training,” documents released by the school say that students were taught that “gender is not inherently nor solely connected to one’s physical anatomy.”  Another document from the school advises parents that “when you discuss gender with your child, you may hear them . . . exploring where they . . . fit on the gender spectrum and why.”  Gender Spectrum tells parents that children need to learn that sexual “variation is normal.”

Students in all grades were told there are different ways to be boys and different ways to be girls.  Some of the reading list includes Boy, girl or both? and My Princess Boy (grades K-1), What is gender? and 10,000 Dresses (grades 2-3), and Three Dimensions of Gender (grades 4-5).

Gender Spectrum hosts training events and consultations aimed at questioning the role of gender in society.  They encourage gender neutral restrooms in schools.  The course program at Redwood Heights Elementary School was funded through a grant from the California Teachers Association.

The Pacific Justice Institute (PJI) asks: Should a child in kindergarten be introduced to the question of whether or not they really are a boy or a girl?  Does this have a place in public schools?  Are they engaging in an area that will, without question, result in children having problems that they likely would not have had otherwise?

According to PJI, there is no legal “right under California law for parents to opt out from this kind of pro-transgender indoctrination.”  PJI is offering advice to parents who want  help protecting their children from gender-diversity lessons.

In the Book of Beginnings, God’s Word explains that He created humans “male and female” (Genesis 1:27).  No where after that — in Old or New Testament — does God say that He changed His mind or decided to experiment with and alter His creation.

Is what happened at Redwood Heights Elementary School acceptable by parents?   What parents have requested that their child experience a “gender indoctrination” program?  What is the origin and purpose of this kind of teaching?

In May 2009, President Obama appointed Kevin Jennings to the position of Safe Schools Czar with the U.S. Department of Education.  Jennings is the founder of the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) and wrote the introduction to the book Queering Elementary Education.  Early in June, Jennings met with the White House to address LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) topics.

Jennings is leaving his post in July, but in what ways has he influenced the security of our education system?

(For details, visit OneNewsNow.com, Focus on the Family, or The Family Research Council)

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Too Fearful to Mentor

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Where are the mentors?  They are us!

They are older women — in age, experience, or spiritual maturity.  Unfortunately, too many of us seem to fear the concept of mentoring.

Yes, we may mentor a child at school.  Yes, we may mentor through a “Big Sister” program.  But, mentoring Biblical womanhood is counter-cultural.  There is strong resistance.  Obstacles stand in the way.  There are two: the younger women and the older woman.

The younger woman is, quite honestly, the least problematic.  Why?  Because younger women naturally resist mentoring.  The younger generation always considers itself more enlightened.  It’s typical for a young woman to consider herself more progressive than her mother or grandmother and, therefore, want to leave “old ways” behind.  Even when a younger woman is willing to learn some things from an older woman, she may still believe (as I’ve been told): “The culture is different than it was when you were my age.”  Well, the culture is always different with every new generation.  But, Truth never changes.

The greater obstacle to mentoring Biblical womanhood is the older woman.  It is the older woman who resists the opportunity to mentor.  Why?  Maybe because we are afraid.  Perhaps we’re afraid to mentor because it means we have to act our age.  Perhaps we’re afraid to mentor because it means re-visiting our past mistakes and becoming vulnerable all over again.  Perhaps we’re afraid to mentor because we fear rejection by younger women.

Some of us might be afraid because we are untrained.  Perhaps no one mentored us with God’s Word.  Perhaps we were led off the good path of life on painful and dangerous detours by older men and women we trusted more than God.  Perhaps a parent, professor, friend or even a pastor that we trusted had been deceived by “silly myths” and passed them on to us.  Out of respect for them, we may feel defensive about what they taught us.  The ideas to which we cling.  But, letting the light of God’s Word illuminate the dark corners of our minds, may we move out of a defensive posture.  Lift up in prayer the person who passed wrong ideas on to us.  Let go of “silly myths” and deception.

I’m a baby-boomer.  Talk about a generation influenced by “silly myths!”  My generation was raised with no boundaries; told to obsess on our bodies; dared to compete with men; and sent to the university where marriage, family, and the church were mocked and boldly dismantled.

The fact is, we can’t mentor if we’re afraid to act our age.  If we don’t want to accept where we’re at in life.  If we’re afraid to re-visit our past and acknowledge our failures.  If we’re afraid of rejection.  In other words, we can’t mentor if it’s all about me.

I can’t mentor if it’s all about me.  My fears.  My inabilities.  My past.  I can’t make a positive difference in my world if it’s all about me.  I can, however, make a life-changing difference if I’m all about God.  God’s Word.  God’s Word in Jesus Christ.  It is God’s Word that tells me who I am and why I exist.  Trusting the Word, I don’t need to fear myself or the world.

As an older woman, I think God wants me to accept my age.  My experiences.  My failures.  My disappointments.  Then, making use of all of these, He wants me to warn.  Train.  Equip the younger women He places in my life.  There is only one thing necessary for me to mentor: His Word.  Trusting God’s Word and using it makes me wise.  Willing.  Confident.  Less focused on self and more focused on others.

The world is not my friend.  Recognizing this, I (and all older women) mentor with the Word of God.  Away from “silly myths.”  Toward hope.

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But, I Can’t Mentor!

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Titus was a young pastor who served his people on the island of Crete.  Young Titus and his congregation found themselves in the midst of a pagan culture.  “One of the Cretans, a prophet of their own, said, ‘Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons” (Titus 1:12).

How could Titus and the men and women of his congregation not only remain faithful to God in the midst of evil, but affect the culture?  Shine light?  Share hope?  Titus was in need of a model, something that his people could use in the midst of selfishness, unhealthy lifestyles, and false teachers.

St. Paul warned Titus away from the worldly influence, but also was inspired to give him a model for mentoring generations of hope.  That model is found in Titus 2:1-8.  That model — indeed, the wholeness of the Gospel — brings salvation and leads to self-controlled living.

Titus 2, however, is one of the least popular chapters of Scripture.  It is not particularly favored by Christian women.  There are at least three reasons.  Most obvious is the fact that Titus 2 speaks to men and women separately… because we were created equal, but not the same.   Painfully obvious is the part about women “submitting” to their husbands.  (Ouch.)  But, a third reason that Titus 2 may be dismissed or ignored is that older women are instructed by God to mentor younger women.  Oh my!  How is an older woman — who has not made right choices; who has had an abortion or lived with a man not her husband; who has been abused, or become addicted, or suffers depression — going to mentor a younger woman?

This weekend, at a Titus 2 Retreat, we’ll be talking about why an older woman (in age, experience, or spiritual maturity) might feel too intimidated to mentor.

I’ve heard older women say, “I can’t mentor!”  But, every one of us mentors… at any given moment… whether we realize it or not.  We are mentoring some kind of faith, lifestyle, or way of thinking.  We are being an example… of something.

There is a reason God calls an older woman to mentor the younger.

Let’s push aside all of her past circumstances, sins, fears, and failures.  If she is a new person in Christ, she is forgiven and set free to live in a way that glorifies God.  In 1 Timothy 5:9-14, we read that the Church was to distinguish older widows from younger widows.  The older woman is distinguished by her “faithfulness” and “reputation for good works.”  She is distinguished if she has “been the wife of one husband, brought up her children, shown hospitality, washed the feet (served) the saints, cared for the afflicted, and devoted herself to every good work.”

The younger widow, however, is different.  She is more easily drawn away from Christ by her romantic passions (v. 11).  She may be more easily tempted away from the “faith” (Greek: “oath” or “solemn promise”) if she had promised not to remarry, or to abide by the Christian faith and teaching.  The young widow (v. 13) without a father, husband, children, or a job might be prone to social problems such as being idle, falling to gossip and the behavior of a busybody, or losing control of her tongue.  The Church was to encourage young widows to “marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary (Satan) no occasion for slander” (v. 14).

In what way would the young widow, perhaps more easily influenced by the world, be helped?  By the mentoring of an older, experienced, spiritually mature woman.  A woman who had also been wrongly influenced, but was brought out of darkness into light.   Who was rescued from the mess of life and covered by Jesus’ robe of righteousness.  The older woman is not distinguished because she is sinless, but because she has learned to trust God.  Not be deceived by silly myths.  Have faith in God’s created order.  And keep her eyes on the Cross of Jesus Christ.

An older woman does not need to fear being a mentor.  Her very experience — from floundering and failing to recognition of her identity as a treasure of Christ — makes her an instrument in God’s hand.  Using God’s Word, she becomes an example of humility.  Service.  Patience.  Self-control.  Hope.

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Those Who Mourn Need a Good Shepherd

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

A woman who faces the reality of her abortion is in need of someone else whom God has named.  That person is you.  It is me.  We are her friends.  Comforters.  Encouragers.  We are imitators of the Good Shepherd who walks beside the heavy-hearted through a dark valley toward “goodness and mercy.”  A mother who mourns the loss of her child needs a Good Shepherd (John 10:1-18).

You and I must take care not to soften the seriousness of sin.  This devalues the magnitude of God’s forgiveness, bought and paid for by the sacrificial life and death of Jesus Christ.  At the center of our forgiveness stands the Cross of Christ.  Forgiveness is costly.  Our forgiveness cost the innocent Son of God His life.  There is no forgiveness without blood being shed, without paying a price, without the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  But, because of Jesus’ sacrifice, sin cannot defeat us.

Peter, a follower of Jesus, sinned greatly, but he confessed his sin and received God’s forgiveness.  Through Jesus’ forgiveness the Holy Spirit enabled Peter to live a changed life.  That same power of the Holy Spirit works through the Gospel to change our lives — to enable us to live lives that reflect God’s love for us and withstand the temptation of Satan, the world, and our sinful flesh.

You and I can love and accept people burdened by their sin, but only God, in Christ, can heal them.  A woman who’s suffered an abortion may believe that God has forgiven her, but has difficulty forgiving herself.  Jesus is the key that opens the door and sets all sinners free.  What was the process for David in Psalm 51?  David was sorry for his sin, confessed that sin, turned from that sin, received God’s forgiveness, and was restored from sin.  Then he rejoiced over God’s healing touch of forgiveness and was eager to witness to others of God’s great forgiveness.  You and I can assure those who grieve that the memory of their aborted child will remain with them, but,

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Word of Hope is a ministry of hope and healing after abortion.  I have volunteered with this ministry for many years.  We know that God has called each child by name.  We grieve their loss, but entrust them to God.  We also know that He has called every mother, father, grandparent, and care-giving friend by name.  May we encourage all in a manner that honors the One who named us.

If you would like to talk with Grace Kern at Word of Hope,
please call (888) 217-8679 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            (888) 217-8679      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

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Name Dropping

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Abortion does not think about the future.  Seventy-six million baby boomers may soon realize that their lives might become a burden because 53 million people who would have supported an aging population were aborted.  That’s an economic nightmare.

But, there’s a more personal side to this nightmare.  Each one of the 53 million boys and girls who have been aborted in the U.S. alone since 1973 had a  name.  “. . . I have redeemed you; I have called  you by name, you are Mine” (Isaiah 43:1b).

Abortion drops a name placed upon a unique and treasured person.  It is a name known by God before all eternity for all eternity.  It is the name of a boy or girl who would have impacted this world in ways we’ll never know.

Abortion drops a name from a teacher’s grade book; from 4-H or Boy Scouts or junior olympics; from schools of music, agriculture, and medicine; from the consumer index and first-time home ownership; from the tax rolls; from marriage, parenthood, and genealogies.

Abortion drops a name from baptism, confirmation, and the mission field.

There is an emptiness when a name is dropped by abortion.  Women from every neighborhood, family, and congregation who’ve suffered the loss of an aborted child would explain this if only we’d listen.  That’s because a mother knows a child created and named by God can never be replaced.

God named each one of this nation’s 53 million aborted children.  For each one He had a future and hope.  Even though each would have been born into sin, God had for them a robe of righteousness because of what Jesus did on the Cross for them.  Our world is less because these children are not with us.  Our world suffers when people created for purpose and called by name are considered “untimely,” “inconvenient,” or “fearful.”

But, God has also named every mother who feared her child; who failed to see her child’s future and hope; who, deceived by other voices, doubted that God is good and can be trusted in every circumstance.  He waits with open arms for each mother with a broken and repentant heart.

[M]y strengthen was dried up . . . I acknowledged my sin to You . . . and You forgave the iniquity of my sin” (Psalm 32:4b-5).

Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

Woman . . . neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more” (John 8:10-11).

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Bearers & Defenders of Life

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2011| 1 Comment »

I don’t apologize for a Biblical worldview.  It answers the important questions: Who am I?   From where did I come?  What is my purpose?  Why do bad things happen?  Is there hope?

So, as I continue to ponder the topic of women in combat, I do best to use God’s Word on the topic.

According to Genesis, man was created to be the defender of life.  He is the steward over all.  God gave to man the instructions for life and the warnings against death.  Sin messed up the perfect world, but God still used His created order for the benefit of women, children, and society.  Man would continue in his roles of stewardship and defense as husband, father, and warrior.

Woman was created to be man’s helper.  She would help him be a good steward over all of life.  Together with God, the two would procreate new life, but the woman alone would bear that life from conception until birth.  Sin may change how some women feel about motherhood but, nonetheless, women are still the bearers of life.  Generational hope comes through the womb.

So… what sane and civilized people would send the bearers of life to be targets for the enemy’s bullets?

I began really paying attention to what was happening in our military during the Gulf War.  A photo in the Dallas Morning News (2/20/91) of Spec. Hollie Vallance tugged at my mother’s heart.  Dressed in fatigues and helmet, Hollie was holding her 7 month-old baby in a final good-bye before being sent away.  She was quoted, “I never really thought about going into combat.  I never dreamed anything like this would happen in my lifetime, let alone right after I had my first child.”  She continued, “I’ve built an ice wall around my heart to try to cool the pain, and sometimes I worry that my husband and baby daughter won’t be able to melt it away.”  Hollie’s husband was quoted, “It isn’t that she’s a woman that makes it harder.  It’s that she has a baby.  I’m afraid Hollie might not be the same person when she comes back.”

Bearers of life on the front lines of battle.  Mothers separating from children.  What about womanliness itself?  The female anatomy?  A woman marine who served in Iraq as a Humvi driver explained that she would go all day without water.  It was one thing for men to stay hydrated because relieving themselves is a simple procedure and requires no bush.  But, it’s both difficult and risky for a female soldier.   First, it’s awkward to manipulate the clothing of war.  Second, if there is a bush for privacy, does walking to it require leaving a safe zone?  What about that time of month?  What about shared living space with men?   I know a guardsman who, while serving time in the Persian Gulf, had to share his tent with a woman soldier.  It mattered to him… because he was married.

Most men I know believe in chivalry.  Chivalry was first practiced by Jesus Christ.  He literally sacrificed His life for His Bride, the Church.  He laid down His own life so that she might be spared.  Although not every man on board the sinking Titanic was a Christian, most all practiced chivalry.  It was, after all, the rule of the sea: Women and children into the lifeboats first.  Men, whether they knew it or not, were influenced by God’s Word for life.  So, what does a chivalrous male soldier do if a woman soldier is being attacked?  If she is taken prisoner?  Sexually abused?  In battle, is she “just one of the guys?”  But, not in battle, is she different?  What is the price of honorable — or dishonorable — sexual distraction?

Memorial Day approaches.  I wonder what our veterans would have to say about “equal rights” on the beaches of Normandy or Iwo Jima?   About “equal opportunity” for the bearers of life to unload from amphibious transport onto the open spaces of water and sand under enemy fire?

I think I know.

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Enemy at the Door

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , on May 23, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Today, a stint in the military comes with educational benefits.  Young women as well as men see opportunity.  There is also patriotism, especially after 9/11.  Both men and women find value and meaning in serving their country.

There are many ways for women to serve their country.  But, when foolishness rules, “rights” quickly become “wrongs.”  What we think we can do might not be what we should do.

Here’s a question.  When a man hears the sound of someone breaking into his house, does he send his wife, daughter or mother to face the enemy?

Late one evening, my brother and sister-in-law heard the sound of breaking glass.  Looking out their bedroom window, they could see a strange man attempting to break in their back door.  Did my brother send my sister-in-law to the door?  (After all, she is smart and athletic.)   Did he send his wife to confront the enemy?  No.  My brother went to the door where he found the intruder reaching through the glass to turn the inside lock.  He grabbed the intruder’s hand.  There was a brief skirmish before the enemy fled.   Soon, the police arrived.

Did my brother believe that his wife had no role to play in protecting their home?  Did he see her incapable of helping?  No.  He instinctively knew that he was to protect his wife and family, but he also knew that his wife was part of the “team.” So, from a secure area, he asked her to call 911.   The police arrived because she made that call.

An enemy at the door is not Xbox.  Nor is it equal opportunity for women.  When the enemy stood at my brother’s door, he knew better than to be distracted by the irrelevant issue of “sexual equity.”

I am certain it would be in the best interests of our nation — and surely the men engaged on the front lines of battle — not to be distracted by irrelevant issues.  Foolishness puts us all in harm’s way.

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The Fantasy of Women Warriors

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , on May 21, 2011| 1 Comment »

Twisted feminism is foolish.  It puts civilization in harm’s way.

It is foolish to believe that a woman can have freedom only if her child is aborted.  It is foolish to believe that men and women are the same.  It is foolish to fantasize women warriors.

“The ancient tradition against the use of women in combat embodies the deepest wisdom of the human race.  It expresses the most basic imperatives of group survival: a nation or tribe that allows the loss of large numbers of its young women runs the risk of becoming permanently depopulated,” writes George Gilder in Men and Marriage.

“Beyond this general imperative is the related need of every society to insure that male physical strength and aggressiveness are not directed against women . . . All civilized societies train their men to protect and defend women.  When these restraints break down . . . the group tends to disintegrate completely and even to become extinct.”

What about the so-called successful use of women in today’s military?  It, writes Gilder, “depends on men overcoming their natural impulse to treat women differently and more considerately.  The consequence of this latest demand for equality would be nothing more or less than a move toward barbarism.”

I like George Gilder.  Again and again I return to “Men and Marriage” because, from a purely sociological and economic perspective, Gilder explains how the foolishness of women competing with men ravages family and destroys harmony.  If my sources are correct, Gilder became a Christian later in life.  (What God has created is naturally revealed unless our eyes are shut and minds are closed.)

“Women in combat” is one of the “hot button issues” discussed during a Titus 2 Retreat.   The topic stirs mixed feelings.  Some believe women don’t belong in combat because they don’t have the physical capacity to endure the rigorous standards of training or the hardships of war.  Some believe it’s a woman’s “right” to defend her country and that she can do so as well as a man.  Others note that “modern” warfare is more technological than “front-line.”

Generally speaking, there is significant difference between male and female bone and muscle structure.  This reality has undermined the rigors of basic training and is why Stephanie Gutmann titled her book A Kinder, Gentler Military.  Of course, the physical strength argument can be countered with examples of women who have developed body strength and can keep up with men.

There is also sexual attraction between men and women.  Putting men and women together for training and in combat creates an environment in which each are vulnerable to sexual misconduct and abuse.  But, this argument can be countered with the practice of self-control.

So, for me, the question isn’t, “Can women be in combat?”  The question is, “Should women be in combat?”  I enter this discussion from my vocation or role of “helper” (Hebrew: ezer).  That’s what God created woman to be.  I am a helper for man and, therefore, for all that man is called by God to do.  Will I help for good, or for harm?  Away from temptation, or into?  With focus on others, or self?  Nurture life, or put it at risk?

I pause to let you ponder.  But, there’s much more to consider… in another post.

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Men & the Monogamy Molecule

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Maura and Nichole don’t know about oxytocin.  But, Matt doesn’t know about vasopressin.  Women are not the only ones who bond during sexual intimacy.

Vasopressin is the neurochemical responsible for the male brain response and synaptic change.  It plays a role in regulating blood pressure and, through its influence on kidney function, regulates fluid in the body.  In relationships, vasopressin works to bond a man to a woman and create attachment to his offspring.

Vasopressin is often referred to as the “monogamy molecule.”  Why?  Because it appears to be the primary cause of a man’s attachment to a woman with whom he shares close and intimate physical contact.  The God who creates and loves life has provided a way for the human race to survive.  This “monogamy molecule” is important not just to create a bond with a woman, but with the children that come from that bond.  In the healthy and selfless bond of husband and wife, children have a greater chance of being raised by two biological parents — both of whom are attached to those children.  Such attachment provides sons and daughters with an increased chance of better health and a more hopeful future.

If Matt is physically intimate with a woman — wisely or unwisely — he can bond with her.  If Matt is unwise in his choice, the bond may lead to a long-term, but unhealthy and destructive relationship.  Bonding may tie Matt to a woman who disrespects or abuses him.  It wouldn’t be unusual for Matt to keep going back to a woman who treats him poorly and, if asked, he wouldn’t know why he does it.  Simply put, vasopressin floods a man’s brain (just like oxytocin floods a woman’s brain) and produces a partial bond with every sexual partner.

Men, like women, can become addicted to the “rush” of sexual intimacy.  But, being sexually intimate with many women places at risk the vital ability to develop a healthy, long-term attachment to one woman.  Studies show that the brain can “mold and gel” so that, in time, it begins accepting that particular sexual pattern as normal.  Such a pattern, however, “seems to interfere with the development of the neurological circuits  necessary for the long-term relationships that for most people result in stable marriages and family development.  The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bond in a committed relationship.”  (p. 43 of Hooked by Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr., M.D., and Freda McKissic Bush, M.D.)

“The inability to bond after multiple sexual encounters,” writes Drs. McIlhaney and McKissic Bush, “is almost like tape that loses its stickiness after being applied and removed multiple times.”

Matt’s brain is the most powerful sexual organ in his body.  But, in keeping with God’s design, the brain needs to be used, molded and adapted in the right ways — for life — or, with wrong behavior, parts of it will wither and die.  Perhaps, for this reason, God’s Word says in Deuteronomy 30:19-20:

I set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him . . .”

Shame on adults who tempt Matt.  Who open the gates to adventures in sex, but fail to explain his “monogamy molecule.”  Who keep from Matt God’s Word for life.  Who ignore the lesson of the sticky tape.

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