Marriage is a grand idea. God designed it. One man + one woman + God = joy!
The male and the female: equal, but not the same. Compatible. Complementary. Two hands from two bodies playing one song on the keyboard of life. God bringing forth new life from one union. A procreative masterpiece.
Sigh. Now, in a fallen world, it is difficult (if not impossible) to imagine the perfection of God’s design. Marriage, like all relationships, is challenged. In the spiritual battle between life and death; good and evil; God and satan, marriage is attacked — relentlessly. Why? Because it is the cornerstone of civilization, a “nest” for children, and the hope for generations to come.
But, even in the most challenged marriages, God can (and does) work. When we see our role of husband or wife as one of our vocations, we better understand our call to “love our neighbor as ourselves.” A husband serves his neighbor (his wife). A wife serves her neighbor (her husband). Together, both serve their little neighbors (their children). God doesn’t need us to do anything for Him, said Martin Luther, but our neighbor does. God works through us to serve our neighbors.
Are we challenged in our service of others? Oh, yes. Even in the closest of families there are differences in personalities, mannerisms, preferences, perspectives, patience, confidence, show of love, and even humor. The lessons learned while growing up, personal experiences, and a motly mix of genes shape one person to be a little (or a lot) different from another. Still…
In marriage, as in all relationships, we have choices. We can build up, or tear down. We can focus on what’s working, or what’s not. We can serve, or wait to be served.
Contentment in marriage doesn’t come when someone acts the way we think we’d like them to. Contentment doesn’t depend on one person making the other happy or filling them up or meeting their needs.
Contentment is a “core” thing; it’s from the Cross. A Cross-focus rather than a “me” focus changes husband and wife, saint and sinner, from the inside out. Personalities and quirky habits remain, but a Cross-focused “core” changes our attitude. Attitude changes behavior.
Our response to our neighbor reveals our “core,” no matter if they make us happy or sad.
We love because He first loved us.
(1 John 4:9) In response to Jesus’ sacrificial love for us, how do we choose to love our neighbor?
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