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Posts Tagged ‘sexy’

For Teenage Girls

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged "all about me, boys, dads, daughters, girls, Given Breath, internet, Kimberly Hall, moms, narcissism, parents, self-control, self-focus, sensual, sexuality, sexy, sons, texting, tweets on September 5, 2013| 6 Comments »

The following post was forwarded to me. Thank you, Terri! This is wisdom from another “ezerwoman.” This is true Titus 2 mentoring 🙂 Mrs. Hall, the mother of sons, expresses it so well that there’s no need for me — the mother of grown and married sons with sons of their own — to write something similar. Young women wherever you are and whatever you’ve been taught by this culture: Please read this! As for the moms of daughters (and sons), please visit Kimberly Hall’s blog “Given Breath.”

Dear girls,

I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos.

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pajamas this summer! Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout. What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

So, here’s the bit that I think is important for you to realize. If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.

Please understand this, also: we genuinely like keeping up with you. We enjoy seeing life through your unique and colorful lens – which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.

Those posts don’t reflect who you are! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our on-line island.

I know that sounds harsh and old-school, but that’s just the way it is under this roof for a while. We hope to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

Every day I pray for the women my boys will love. I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient – and act honorably – while they wait for her.

Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an on-line mistake (we all do – don’t fret – I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom.

Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy.

You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.

Act like her, speak like her, post like her.

I’m glad we’re friends.

Mrs. Hall

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Women in Fig Leaves: Not Enough!

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Sexy or holy?, tagged Adrienne Dorr, clothing, embarrassment, modesty, sexy, temptress on November 30, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Those of you who know me may remember that I frequently talk about the dress (or undress) of women. It’s one of the “hot button” topics at Titus 2 Retreats. If you’ve attended a “Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up” event or used the Bible study by the same name, you’ve heard me repeat God’s Word to women. Fig leaves weren’t enough for Eve and they’re not enough for Eve’s daughters. After Adam and Eve fell, God covered their embarrassment with clothing and their shame with Christ’s Robe of Righteousness. To be “covered” is both a physical and spiritual worldview. The culture asks: Who needs to be covered? The repentent Christian responds: I do.

It is with great appreciation that I share Adrienne Dorr’s blog entitled “Take My Jacket.” I have spoken on this topic for years. But, how thankful and refreshingly encouraged I am to read “Take My Jacket.” How good it is to let another woman so eloquently (and faithfully) address this subject. Why write a blog of my own when I can share what I believe through the gifted writing of Adrienne?

TAKE MY JACKET
by Adriane Dorr

Ladies, we have a real problem. It’s our clothing. And, in particular, it’s the clothing we wear to church.

I get that there are certain kinds of clothes that make us feel better about ourselves, that give us a waist, that show off our curves, that make us feel feminine and confident.

But despite what the culture told you, it’s actually not all about you. There’s these other people in the world (they’re called men), and often times, the clothes we wear doesn’t exactly help them focus. That’s not helpful. In fact, it’s so not helpful, it’s hurtful.

The problem is exacerbated when we show up to church in clothes we shouldn’t. I’m not recommending women button up like we’re Amish or start wearing floor-length jean skirts. That’s not feminine either. But if your skirt is so short that it reveals your gender when you sit down, honey, it’s too short.

And think about your pastor. Young ladies, how’s he supposed to be preaching God’s Word to you when your skirt is so tight you can read its size on the label?

Or nursing moms? Please cover up. No pastor needs to turn around and see you adjusting all your feminine glory for your child. (And honestly, I don’t want to see it either.)

Or middle aged ladies? Put a tank-top on under that blouse. Your pastor has to bend over to give you Holy Communion, and he’s got enough on his mind to not have to deal with seeing all your girl bits too.

Dressing modestly isn’t the same as dressing like a frump from the 1980s. This doesn’t mean that you can’t feel good or look feminine or have a figure. You don’t have to wear a burqua, and you should never, under any circumstance, take to wearing oversized, lumpy sweaters that make you look like a dude.

You don’t have wear long dresses Little-House-on-the-Prairie style. It doesn’t mean you can’t go to the swimming pool. It simply means that you don’t have to let all the parts of you that are uniquely feminine cease to be un-unique by showing them . . . constantly . . . to the whole world.

Besides, covering up a bit adds some mystique. Turns out you actually don’t have to give everything away in a guy’s first glance at you.

Lutheran ladies, we can get ourselves back out of this mess. We can work on our wardrobes and choose to wear things, especially to church, more suited to being in the presence of the God of creation who comes to meet us there. And we can choose to think more of our neighbor, of our pastors, of the guys we interact with than we do of ourselves, and then dress in a way that bears witness to the beautiful creations God made us to be.

Ezerwoman’s postscript: Adrienne encourages Christian women to dress in a way that honors God — especially in church. But, here’s the thing. If we honor God in church — in His House, why would we not want to honor Him all week long — in His world? As women of God in Christ, we are called to help men think on what is good, right, and praiseworthy every day. This means turning attention away from the created to the Creator. This means changing attitude from “it’s my body, my choice” to “because I love God and care about my neighbor, I will try not to be a temptress.”

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Were Moms Hooked, Too?

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, Vocation, tagged abortion, behavior, bonding, choices, daughters, feelings, forgiveness, hormones, intimacy, Jesus Christ, love, mothers, oxytocin, regret, sex, sex education, sexy, sin, women on May 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I could always count on the questions. After each presentation on purity, girls — often shy, sometimes bold — would ask questions. About boys. Themselves. Relationships. Love. Mothers brought their daughters to these events, but often stayed in the background.

Mothers were also in the audiences of the “lifestyle show” Judy Hayen and I took on the road. The event, titled “Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up,” gave opportunity to address the consequences of “sexy” dress, casual attitudes about intimacy, and risky behaviors. Clothing is fun. But, whose idea is it? Why does the Designer of clothing say we need more than fig leaves? Why shouldn’t a boys hand go under a girls clothes? The “lifestyle” show concluded with the perfect dress: the white wedding dress and why we wait to wear it. It wasn’t the girls but the mothers who had tears in their eyes. I know, I know. Wedding dresses bring tears of joy to many moms. But, I believe I also saw tears of disappointment and regret. I know the statistics. Too many don’t wait to wear the white wedding dress because oxytocin, not necessarily love, makes us warm and tingly.

Dozens of women have shared their abortion choices with me. These choices were made after a touch. A kiss. Then the procreative act. Oxytocin flipped the love circuit in their female brain. There is trust. A bond. But physical contact and the oxytocin response it generates can blind women to a bad relationships. These women, years after their abortions, explain to me tears of failure. Psychological trauma. Heartache. Loss. Spiritual grief.

What were women who became mothers — of living or dead children — told about oxytocin? What choices did they make because they weren’t told? What were the consequences? Is there a reason to keep from our daughters and granddaughters knowledge about their bodies? How they are designed to function? And why?

We are not captive to mistakes of the past. They are forgiven because of Jesus Christ. His death and resurrection are victory over every sin. All we need to do is be sorry for our sins and confess them to God. Then, in Christ, we are set free. We are new every morning. In Christ, we have the hope of better choices. This hope is for daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and a neighborhood of girls.

God made oxytocin because He loves life. He created one man to bond with one woman in marriage for life. He joins with husband and wife in the procreational act of sex to bring new life. He entrusts each new boy or girl to the nurture and instruction of their mom and dad. With all of this, there is a future. There is hope.

Seems to me all ezerwomen should be talking about this.

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A Letter from God

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Relationships, tagged broken heart, choices, deception, emotions, example, faith, Father God, feelings, forgiveness, holy, hope, Jesus Christ, masterpiece, modern woman, purity, rebellion, Savior, sexy, sin, woman on October 22, 2010| 1 Comment »

What does God say to women? His letter to us reads something like this:

Dear Daughter,

I loved you before I created you. You are my masterpiece. But, sin has distorted My perfect creation. Sinful people are challenged by difficult choices. You, My daughter, are tempted by feelings and emotions. You can’t trust these emotions, but you can always trust Me. Your life is of such value to Me that I came to earth in the person of Jesus Christ — the God become Man willing to rescue you from the consequences of sin. I paid the highest price for you.

Because of this great price, your body is not your own — to do with as you please. It was covered by the Robe of Righteousness when Jesus shed His blood on the Cross. The sacrifice of Jesus, your Savior, made you a new creation. You have the promise of heaven. I don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want your heart to be broken or your body abused. So please, daughter. Guard your body, mind, and soul by making choices that glorify Me.

It’s o.k. to rebel. Rebel against all that is sinful and wrong in this world. Dare to be different from those who follow worldly opinions. They chase after popularity and selfish ambitions. When they do wrong, they want you to do wrong, too. They say, “Follow your heart,” or “Do whatever feels right for you.” But, a sinful heart cannot be trusted. It is filled with all manner of bad things. Your feelings and moods blow with the wind. They are high and low like a rollercoaster. Look to Me, My daughter. I never change. You can trust your life to Me. I know you better than you know yourself. I know your thoughts… your desires… your needs. You are never alone in My world.

I didn’t create you to be sexy, but holy. Practice modesty in the way you speak, act, and dress. Call attention not to yourself, but to Me — the One who made you. Show your beauty not by revealing your body, but revealing your love for Me. Resist being a temptress and, instead, lead others away from sin with its ugly consequences.

Be alert to deception. My daughter, if you acknowledge Me to be God, your Father, then you also acknowledge the evil one who opposes me and despises you. He hates you because I love you so much. He will try to deceive you. He knows when you are vulnerable. He will tempt you with one question, “Did your Father really say . . .?” Then, when you doubt Me and fall to deception and sin, the tempter becomes your accuser, “Look at what you have done! Can your Father ever forgive you?”

Oh, yes, My daughter. I can and do forgive. There is nothing you need to do but confess your sin. In your sorrow, I reach down to lift you from despair and secure the Robe of Righteousness tighter around you. Forgiven and set free, you are no longer captive to your past. Satan may tempt you again and again, but I have given you dominion over the father of lies.

Don’t let anyone look down on you for being young. Instead, let your speech, behavior, love, faith, and purity be an example for others. Entrust your life to Me. I’m not a god of chaos, but the God of order and beautiful design. I made you to be a woman. Live as a woman — My daughter — while you wait for Jesus to return for you.

Your identity is not found in your appearance or what you do. Your identity is a creation of God and the treasure for whom Christ gave all He had. No matter the circumstances in your life, that identity remains.

I am the King… the Lord of life. Think of what that makes you, My daughter.