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Posts Tagged ‘hope’

This week I will be speaking twice.  In my home town.

I am nervous.  Unable to focus.  Doubtful.   It isn’t that I doubt the mentoring ministry I represent.   Nearly every day I see evidence that our culture has lost its way.  That we’ve forgotten (or never been told) how to live as men and women.   The Word of God compels me more today than it did when I was first nudged from my comfort zone to begin Titus 2 for Life.

But, I’m a person affected by environment.  I’ve been known to take a candle along with me on a trip just in case the hotel room is cold and unwelcoming.  I’m also affected by other people.  It matters to me that relationships are built, not destroyed.   I’m acutely aware of body language.  Once, while speaking about a controversial issue, I heard a scribbling noise.  To my side, a woman was pressing her pencil hard on a page in her study guide.  Head bent down, whole body engaged, she blackened the paper with great sweeping motions.   Was she angry… or hurting?   Whichever, she had my attention: How should I respond?

So, what happens when speaking in my own home town?  To the people with whom I live?  I’m extra sensitive to my closest neighbors and tender relationships.  Differing perspectives.  Maturity and immaturity.  A sense — or lack — of humor.  Personal history.  Agreement.  Disagreement.  Defenses down… or up.  Do I only imagine it, or does the room close in?  Confuse my thoughts?  Leave me a bumbling fool?   What words can I utter that will be right for everyone?  These people with real lives… my closest neighbors?

His Words.  Not mine.  His Truth.  Not my opinion.

Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.  Do not add to His words . . . (Proverbs 30:5).”

I covet your prayer: His Truth from my mouth.  For the sake of my neighbors.

Maybe I will take a candle.

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How great is this!  The Beach Boys are set to perform a “Life and Hope Concert” on June 12 at 7:00 p.m. at the Fraze Pavilion in Kettering, Ohio.

The concert, sponsored by the Terri Schiavo Life and Hope Network, recognizes all people who, like Terri, are challenged by cognitive disabilities.  What a night it should be!  The Lettermen will be joining The Beach Boys.  I encourage anyone who lives within driving distance of Dayton, Ohio, to get tickets for this event.  You can call 1-855-300-HOPE begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            1-855-300-HOPE      end_of_the_skype_highlighting or visit Life and Hope Concert.

I first heard Bobby Schindler several years ago at one of our Lutherans For Life conferences.  Bobby, the brother of Terri Schiavo, speaks nationwide on behalf of many who, like his sister, suffer brain injuries.  He admitted that he never would have imagined himself speaking up for life were it not for the premature and unnecessary death of his sister.  Today, Bobby speaks nationwide for life and directs the Schiavo Foundation.  Terri’s former husband chose to end her life rather than letting her family care for her.  Terri’s parents and siblings all sought the opportunity to work with her and care for her, but that opportunity was denied.  You can learn more by visiting Terri’s Fight  Or, you can watch The Schiavo Story on DVD.

The Life and Hope Concert will raise funds so that others won’t have to endure what Terri did.  Terri was subjected to a painful 13-day starvation and dehydration death by  her former husband who refused to provide her with proper medical care and rehabilitative treatment.  Not wanting other patients to endure the same ordeal, the Terri Schiavo Foundation was founded in order to help others with disabilities receive proper care.  The Schiavo Foundation supports the New Beginnings Community of Medford, N.Y.  New Beginnings provides state-of-the-art outpatient rehabilitative care for veterans, traumatic brain injury survivors, and other cognitively and physically disabled persons.  The building is dedicated to the memory of Terri Schaivo.  Terri’s brother, Bobby Schindler, says, “. . . [J]ust because someone experiences a cognitive disability and their physical appearance may change, their human dignity does not.”

(Josh and Alison… Dayton is a short drive for you.   How about taking Maxwell Thomas to his first concert!  Grandma thinks he would be delighted by the tunes of the Beach Boys.  Besides, Max loves life!  Maybe Grandpa will spring for tickets!)

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A woman who faces the reality of her abortion is in need of someone else whom God has named.  That person is you.  It is me.  We are her friends.  Comforters.  Encouragers.  We are imitators of the Good Shepherd who walks beside the heavy-hearted through a dark valley toward “goodness and mercy.”  A mother who mourns the loss of her child needs a Good Shepherd (John 10:1-18).

You and I must take care not to soften the seriousness of sin.  This devalues the magnitude of God’s forgiveness, bought and paid for by the sacrificial life and death of Jesus Christ.  At the center of our forgiveness stands the Cross of Christ.  Forgiveness is costly.  Our forgiveness cost the innocent Son of God His life.  There is no forgiveness without blood being shed, without paying a price, without the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  But, because of Jesus’ sacrifice, sin cannot defeat us.

Peter, a follower of Jesus, sinned greatly, but he confessed his sin and received God’s forgiveness.  Through Jesus’ forgiveness the Holy Spirit enabled Peter to live a changed life.  That same power of the Holy Spirit works through the Gospel to change our lives — to enable us to live lives that reflect God’s love for us and withstand the temptation of Satan, the world, and our sinful flesh.

You and I can love and accept people burdened by their sin, but only God, in Christ, can heal them.  A woman who’s suffered an abortion may believe that God has forgiven her, but has difficulty forgiving herself.  Jesus is the key that opens the door and sets all sinners free.  What was the process for David in Psalm 51?  David was sorry for his sin, confessed that sin, turned from that sin, received God’s forgiveness, and was restored from sin.  Then he rejoiced over God’s healing touch of forgiveness and was eager to witness to others of God’s great forgiveness.  You and I can assure those who grieve that the memory of their aborted child will remain with them, but,

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Word of Hope is a ministry of hope and healing after abortion.  I have volunteered with this ministry for many years.  We know that God has called each child by name.  We grieve their loss, but entrust them to God.  We also know that He has called every mother, father, grandparent, and care-giving friend by name.  May we encourage all in a manner that honors the One who named us.

If you would like to talk with Grace Kern at Word of Hope,
please call (888) 217-8679 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting            (888) 217-8679      end_of_the_skype_highlighting

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Abortion does not think about the future.  Seventy-six million baby boomers may soon realize that their lives might become a burden because 53 million people who would have supported an aging population were aborted.  That’s an economic nightmare.

But, there’s a more personal side to this nightmare.  Each one of the 53 million boys and girls who have been aborted in the U.S. alone since 1973 had a  name.  “. . . I have redeemed you; I have called  you by name, you are Mine” (Isaiah 43:1b).

Abortion drops a name placed upon a unique and treasured person.  It is a name known by God before all eternity for all eternity.  It is the name of a boy or girl who would have impacted this world in ways we’ll never know.

Abortion drops a name from a teacher’s grade book; from 4-H or Boy Scouts or junior olympics; from schools of music, agriculture, and medicine; from the consumer index and first-time home ownership; from the tax rolls; from marriage, parenthood, and genealogies.

Abortion drops a name from baptism, confirmation, and the mission field.

There is an emptiness when a name is dropped by abortion.  Women from every neighborhood, family, and congregation who’ve suffered the loss of an aborted child would explain this if only we’d listen.  That’s because a mother knows a child created and named by God can never be replaced.

God named each one of this nation’s 53 million aborted children.  For each one He had a future and hope.  Even though each would have been born into sin, God had for them a robe of righteousness because of what Jesus did on the Cross for them.  Our world is less because these children are not with us.  Our world suffers when people created for purpose and called by name are considered “untimely,” “inconvenient,” or “fearful.”

But, God has also named every mother who feared her child; who failed to see her child’s future and hope; who, deceived by other voices, doubted that God is good and can be trusted in every circumstance.  He waits with open arms for each mother with a broken and repentant heart.

[M]y strengthen was dried up . . . I acknowledged my sin to You . . . and You forgave the iniquity of my sin” (Psalm 32:4b-5).

Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

Woman . . . neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more” (John 8:10-11).

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Maura and Nichole don’t know about oxytocin.  But, Matt doesn’t know about vasopressin.  Women are not the only ones who bond during sexual intimacy.

Vasopressin is the neurochemical responsible for the male brain response and synaptic change.  It plays a role in regulating blood pressure and, through its influence on kidney function, regulates fluid in the body.  In relationships, vasopressin works to bond a man to a woman and create attachment to his offspring.

Vasopressin is often referred to as the “monogamy molecule.”  Why?  Because it appears to be the primary cause of a man’s attachment to a woman with whom he shares close and intimate physical contact.  The God who creates and loves life has provided a way for the human race to survive.  This “monogamy molecule” is important not just to create a bond with a woman, but with the children that come from that bond.  In the healthy and selfless bond of husband and wife, children have a greater chance of being raised by two biological parents — both of whom are attached to those children.  Such attachment provides sons and daughters with an increased chance of better health and a more hopeful future.

If Matt is physically intimate with a woman — wisely or unwisely — he can bond with her.  If Matt is unwise in his choice, the bond may lead to a long-term, but unhealthy and destructive relationship.  Bonding may tie Matt to a woman who disrespects or abuses him.  It wouldn’t be unusual for Matt to keep going back to a woman who treats him poorly and, if asked, he wouldn’t know why he does it.  Simply put, vasopressin floods a man’s brain (just like oxytocin floods a woman’s brain) and produces a partial bond with every sexual partner.

Men, like women, can become addicted to the “rush” of sexual intimacy.  But, being sexually intimate with many women places at risk the vital ability to develop a healthy, long-term attachment to one woman.  Studies show that the brain can “mold and gel” so that, in time, it begins accepting that particular sexual pattern as normal.  Such a pattern, however, “seems to interfere with the development of the neurological circuits  necessary for the long-term relationships that for most people result in stable marriages and family development.  The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bond in a committed relationship.”  (p. 43 of Hooked by Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr., M.D., and Freda McKissic Bush, M.D.)

“The inability to bond after multiple sexual encounters,” writes Drs. McIlhaney and McKissic Bush, “is almost like tape that loses its stickiness after being applied and removed multiple times.”

Matt’s brain is the most powerful sexual organ in his body.  But, in keeping with God’s design, the brain needs to be used, molded and adapted in the right ways — for life — or, with wrong behavior, parts of it will wither and die.  Perhaps, for this reason, God’s Word says in Deuteronomy 30:19-20:

I set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him . . .”

Shame on adults who tempt Matt.  Who open the gates to adventures in sex, but fail to explain his “monogamy molecule.”  Who keep from Matt God’s Word for life.  Who ignore the lesson of the sticky tape.

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Some say, “How could a woman end the life of her child?”  This statement is not intended to be cruel, but it is heard as a  judgment.

Others, hoping to be less judgmental, say, “I would never have have an abortion myself, but I believe every woman should have the right to choose.”  This statement sounds compassionate, but to the woman who has had the abortion, it sounds like a comparison: “Abortion is wrong and because I am a good person I wouldn’t do such a terrible thing, but women not capable of doing the right thing should have a choice.”

Both statements are condeming.  Neither offer hope before or after an abortion.

There is a third response.  Trying to imitate Jesus.  Jesus understands why people like you and me sin.  He came to live among us —  to feel our frustration, fears, and sorrow.  He placed Himself in the midst of a messy world.  Jesus loved us so much that He willingly took on our disgrace, our burden, our sin.  Only by living under His Cross am I able to see those hurt by sin (including my own) in a new way.

Days on which we celebrate life are meant to be happy days, but for many they are not.  In the heart of nearly every post-abortive woman is an empty place that is forever expectant and waitiing.  Although she may have believed the lie that there was no room, a cry of sorrow echoes in the room that was always there… waiting.

We cannot go back to erase years of legalized abortion nor the effect on women, men, children, and society.  Mothers who once believed there was no room in their life for a baby now mourn the child whose heart beat so close under their own.  Fathers who once believed there was no room in their life for a baby are now angry at themselves for failing to protect their son or daugher.  Grandparents who once believed there was no room in their lives for a baby now dream of grandchildren that would have filled the rooms of their homes with laughter.

Sometimes, when I am holding my grandsons, my thoughts turn to Mary.  She approached me after I was finished speaking to a group of women.  She asked for my address and phone number.  In the letters and conversations that followed, she confessed two abortions.  “There has been so much pain in my heart,” Mary wrote.  “I could understand how God could forgive a murderer, but not someone who has killed their own child.”

This pain and the belief that she had committed the sin “too big to be forgiven” held Mary captive.  But, “the reason I want to tell you my story,” Mary continued, “is to thank you.  If, years earlier, I had heard the words of compassion and forgiveness that I heard from you, I would not have had a second abortion.  I would have been reconciled to God and turned my life around a lot earlier instead of wallowing in the muck of sin and accusation.”

“Marys” are everywhere… and they are waiting.  They are silently waiting for a word of hope.  Their broken hearts long to be healed.  God has given to me — to you — His Word to speak in love.  To be sure, the Word of Truth presses hard on the source of pain.  The psalmist (Psalm 32:3-5) writes:

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.  For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.  Then I acknowledged my sin to You, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

There is hope for women and men who have been pierced by abortion’s blade.  It is Jesus.  In Jesus, all who confess their sin are cleansed and forgiven (1 Timothy 1:15).  In Jesus, the captive is set free (Galatians 5:1).

(The thoughts of this post are available in a
brochure form upon request from Word of Hope or LFL.)

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Yesterday was not a day of celebration for those wounded by abortion.  Mother’s Day is a difficult day for the women who have an abortion in their past, for men unable to save a child from abortion, and for grandparents.  Mother’s Day, for many people, is a reminder of lost lives and denied relationships.

Abortion continues to be a heated debate in this country, but for millions of American women and for the men, grandparents, siblings, and friends in the lives of those women, abortion is  not a debate — it is a loss.  It is the loss of a son, a daughter, a grandchild.  That’s because motherhood and fatherhood — yes, grandparenthood, too — begin at conception.

Many of us know someone who has lost a child through miscarriage.  We grieve with them, offer the peace of Christ, and entrust their precious little one to God.  But abortion is a secret pain.  It is a dagger of guilt.  It is a loss that is carried deep inside and alone.

The great loss of life should pierce the heart of every one of us.  The numbers are staggering.  More than 3,000 women have an abortion every day.  These women are in our families, congregations, and circles of friends.  They are Christians who worship with us and go to Bible study with us.  I know some of these women.  At least 25 of my friends, relatives, or acquaintances have had abortions.  Seventeen of them are Lutheran.  Three are the wives of Lutheran pastors.  At least three have had more than one abortion.

Abortion has created a new mission field for the church.  There is a need to enter this mission field — but first, we must understand that we will almost certainly encounter denial, anger, self-hatred, distrust, grief, remorse, and the nature, but perhaps deeply buried, desire for reconciliation with the Giver of Life.

For those in denial, I pray my message can gently convict.  For those already convicted, I pray my message will offer hope and my behavior be welcoming.  I pray my arms remain open with the merciful love of Jesus who reconciles us all with God.

When I became a grandmother for the first time, I realized that holding my grandson was surprisingly different from holding my own two sons.  Each gaze upon the child of my child is a generational moment.  The room of my heart excitedly received my first grandchild.  The room of my life rearranged itself.

Often, when holding my first… then second, third, and fourth grandsons, I think of the thousands of other women of my generation whose arms will never hold a grandchild.  Their arms will never hold the child of their child.  That’s because when finding themselves “with child,” these women believed the lie: “make this one sacrifice and choose a better time to be a mother.”  Although the room of their hearts may have whispered a word of welcome, the room of their lives did not.

Because these women either did not hear or did not trust God’s promise, the world captured their every thought and desire.  Tossed in a tumultuous sea, these women reached toward “salvation” in the guise of a “quick and painless” abortion.

But the degrading act goes against all that is maternal and natural.  Sent away from the abortion clinic, women are abandoned to burdens of guilt, grief, and anger that threaten to pull them into cold and lonely darkness, away from the Giver of Life.

So, how do you and I respond?  Please read on to my next post . . .

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The U.S. House of Representatives will debate the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortions Act” (H.R. 3) on Wednesday, May 4.  This bill provides desperately needed conscience protections for life-affirming healthcare professionals and the patients they serve.

I encourage everyone to visit the Freedom2Care legislative action center.  Use the easy form to urge your Representative to vote YES on this bill and to oppose any weakening amendments.

Then, please familiarize yourself with the 16,000 member Christian Medical Association.

My personal e-mail to President Obama, my two senators, and representative reads:

With all due respect,

I am a citizen of this country who conscience cannot allow me to condone taxpayer-funded abortions or the force of medical personnel to perform them.  Legalized abortion has already removed 50+ million people who would have boosted the economy of this country in magnificent ways and brought new creativity and hope.  Instead, we have 76 million of my generation (babyboomers) with only 17 million of my sons’ generation.  What were we thinking?

Please listen to your conscience and vote “YES” on HR 3.  Please oppose weakening the amendment in any way.

Future generations of Americans thank you.  Health care providers who do not believe in taking a life — but rather saving lives — thank you.

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How does the world turn?  By chance, proclaims the secular naturalist.

By the hand of God, proclaims the Biblical Christian.

During a Titus 2 Retreat, the answers to a number of simple questions are followed to their natural conclusion.

  1. Who am I and why am I here?
  2. From where did I come?
  3. Why do things go bad?
  4. Is there hope?
  5. Where will I go when I die?

If I evolved by chance from primordial soup; if my only purpose in life is self-fulfillment; if I’m not responsible for my own messes; if I rely on myself or science to perfect the world; and when I die, well, that’s all there is… how do you think I will live my life?  What will the consequences be?

On the other hand, if I was created by God to be a woman quite different from man, and certainly not an animal; if my purpose is to be in a relationship with God and glorify Him with my behavior; if the world and every person in it is sinful because Adam and Eve disobeyed God; if I am responsible for my own messes; if I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose victorious over evil; and when I die, I will not stay dead but be raised to stand before God… how do you think I will try to live my life?  What will the consequences be?

It all seems reasonable and quite simple.  Follow secular naturalism to it’s logical conclusion and we find devaluation of human life by abortion, “mercy killing,” and school shootings; broken relationships; abuse; tyranny and terrorism; racism and hopeless, human misery.

But, follow Biblical Christianity to it’s logical conclusion and we find value in every human life; restored relationships; kindness and mercy; forgiveness; and hope for the human family.

That’s how my world turns.

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Not many people I know like abortion.  Those who support it as a “choice” or “right” claim they want to make abortion “safe, legal, and rare.”  Seems to me they’ve failed with two of their three goals.

They’ve failed to make abortion “safe.”  Planned Parenthood, Dr. Leroy Carhart and other abortion providers have certainly not made abortion any safer than it was when so-called “back-alley” abortions were performed.   Abortion is, after all, either a surgery or chemical.   The littlest person involved is always sacrificed by way of death.  I fear women are sacrificed as well, some dying and many others placed at risk emotionally and/or spiritually.

They’ve failed to make abortion “rare.”  Planned Parenthood and other so-called “health clinics” that promote sexual intimacy among teens are certainly not making abortion rare.  Doubt me?  Visit TeenWire, Planned Parenthood’s site for teens, and come to your own conclusion.  Do you think the message of “do whatever feels right” would decrease or increase not only abortion but sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, and AIDS?  Set young people up for a fall?  Create a self-perpetuating business… for certain federally-funded “women’s health clinics”?

Ahhh… but Planned Parenthood and their associates in business have certainly been successful in making abortion legal.  But, who stands to gain?  Who loses?

I don’t subscribe to the belief that women need abortion to bring some “control” to their lives.  The highest percentage of women who become pregnant choose to engage in the procreational act of sex.  Nor do I subscribe to the mantra that “teens are going to do ‘it’ anyway, so let’s make it safe.”  This is foolishness!  What school principal would inform students how to steal without getting caught?  Binge eat and purge?  Drink, do drugs, or smoke responsibly?

I believe each person is of great value in God’s sight; therefore, deserving of my protection and honest words of warning.  Contrary to what Margaret Sanger and Alfred Kinsey believed, human beings are capable of self-restraint.  We don’t have to be ruled by emotions and desires.  We aren’t, after all, made in the image of animals.  We are capable of thinking.  Reasoning.  Dreaming.  Building relationships.  Serving others.  Bearing burdens.  Preparing for the future.  Being patient.  And making choices that lead away from despair and, instead, toward hope.

I choose life over death.  Therefore, I choose not to send boys and girls out into the street to play or herd them toward the edge of a cliff, but instead, stand in their way saying “No!”  “Stop!”  “Turn around!”  I choose not to help them find holes in protective fences, but instead, repair the broken gate.

I choose not to squelch the natural rebelliousness of youth, but to use it to resist everything that is wrong in this world.  Including Planned Parenthood.

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