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Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

If the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is not defended, what might happen?

Shortly after same-sex “marriage” was forced on Massachusetts by that state’s highest court, a few parents realized their children were being taught same-sex unions were normal, natural, and the moral equivalent of marriage between a man and a woman.  These parents attempted to opt their children out of these public school lessons, but were ultimately unsuccessful in a court of law.  Two federal courts in Massachusetts, including the appeals court just below the U.S. Supreme Court, determined that, because same-sex “marriage” was legally recognized in Massachusetts, parents no longer had the right to determine whether or what their children would be taught about these relationships.  (Source: Tom Minnery, Focus on the Family)

Marriage is being attacked even as children are being taught that all choices are equal.  Here’s the thing.  Mentoring, teaching morality, and raising children is the job of parents, not schools.  Chuck Colson writes, “If we want our children to know how to behave prudently, how to delay gratification for a higher goal, how to look to the needs of others before pandering to their own passions, then we’ll have to teach them in the context of family — best of all, of course, a loving, mom-and-dad family.”

If the courts decide that marriage is just a contract between any kind or number of consenting adults, what consequences will follow?  Colson notes that “we will have, in effect, removed all restraints and social conventions surrounding not just sex and marriage but child rearing and training as well.  If morality is anything we want it to be, if it serves only our passions and personal autonomy, we’re doomed as a culture.”

Homosexual activists are working feverishly to convince educators to normalize an unnatural behavior.  But, moms, dads, and grandparents can speak with the conviction of God’s Word, science and age-old human experience.

It appears to be very dark out there, but darkness has never overcome the light.  (John 1:4)

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There are a lot of us who are afraid to speak up about “social experiments” gone bad.  Part of the reason is because we believe the lie that faith should be kept in a corner off by itself never to interact with science, psychology or real life.  But, separating faith from everyday life places civilization at risk.

Rather than letting “social experiments” — unnatural choices and behaviors — rule the day, it seems to me that we should be taking every opportunity to enter into sane and civil conversation.  In doing so, we shouldn’t be afraid of using the Word and Wisdom of the Creator.

I learned a powerful lesson last week.  A Christian who goes public with Word and Wisdom may discover that even non-believers come to many of the same conclusions as believers.  The old phrase “don’t tamper with mother nature,” while not Biblical, is logical and sensible.

God created men and women to be equal, but  not the same.  Nature agrees.  Biology agrees.  Psychology agrees.  So, whether we’re talking about girls who want to wrestle boys or two men/two women who want to marry, we’re talking about a “social experiment.”  A social experiment breaks away from what is natural.  Healthy.  Hopeful.  A social experiment may scream “equality,” but it denies the complimentary differences of male and female and, in so doing, leads civilization to destruction.

Christians are given ample opportunity right now to engage others in sane and civil conversation.  If we don’t, our children and grandchildren may suffer greatly.  Focus, for a moment, on the institution of marriage.  Marriage predates any known human government.  But, the U.S. government (specifically, the President and Department of Justice) have announced they will no longer defend the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

DOMA defines marriage in all federal laws as the union of a man and woman, and protects the ability of states to not recognize same-sex marriages from other states.  But, DOMA has been attacked by the very government that is supposed to protect this constitutional law.

I hope to post some sane and reasonable, but also civil and respectful, comments about marriage in the coming weeks.  Countless people out there — much smarter than me — have already offered “talking points” for those of us who want to engage our family, neighbors and co-workers in uncompromising yet gentle conversation.

For now, consider this: The social experiment of “gay marriage” goes against life itself.  I encourage you to do some research of your own.  Visit the web sites of Exodus International, Regeneration Ministries, The Family Research Council, Concerned Women for America, and Focus on the Family.

Then, remember.  Sane and civil conversation — using science, psychology and God’s Word — salted with kindness and respect for others is always a good thing.

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Relationships grow when rooted in the love of Christ.  Christ’s love was shown in the doing of a hard thing.  Christ’s love was sacrificial.  We don’t have to sacrifice for our salvation.  Jesus Christ did that on the Cross for us.  It’s done… once and for all.  Believing that, we’re called to live as forgiven people who also forgive others.  In a working marriage, husband and wife are constantly forgiving each other.  A particular “need” or “want” may be sacrificed for the sake of the relationship.  Such sacrifice cannot be measured, but is a fragrant offering to God.

During my lifetime, women have been told they have the right to have their needs met.   A “good” husband is expected to meet those needs.  But, what if he doesn’t?

Time and experience wrapped in God’s Word speak.

“I thought I could change him.”

A friend wasted so many years trying to “fix” her husband.  She pushed, prodded and regularly reminded him of his failures.  In time, she realized that her techniques never worked.  Instead of trying to change him, she asked God for a changed attitude.  Little by little, she learned that it was her job to love her husband and God’s job to change him.  1 Peter 3:1-5 reminds a wife that she can win even an unbelieving husband with respect, pure conduct, and a quiet spirit.

“He doesn’t make me happy.”

A friend admitted that she was very dependent on her husband for her happiness.  She married him because he seemed strong, stable, and confident.  She expected him to take care of her like a good dad would take care of his daughter.  So focused on her own insecurities, she didn’t see that he, too, was sometimes fearful, unsure, and struggling.  One day, she adjusted her prayers.  “Please, dear God, help me be a better wife.”  She welcomed him at the door with a smile.  She asked him about his day.  She left cheerful and encouraging notes on his mirror, by his plate, and inside his boots.  It sounds rather magical, but in choosing her words with care and thinking of little ways to make her husband happy, this wife became more content.  She had a purpose.  She was serving God and He was surprising her with joy.  Joy is a fruit of God’s Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

“I feel more worthless with him than I think I would without him.”

A woman does not get her identity from her husband.  Treasured or abused, her value does not come from man.  Nor does our identity change with the circumstances of life.  Our identity — our value — is sure and certain because of what Jesus Christ did for us.  “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1).

“He’s such a disappointment.”

For many years, the wife mourned her marriage.  She was sure that God had made a mistake.  We’re too different, she thought.  This will never work.  Quite unexpectedly, the woman realized she really wasn’t fighting her husband, she was fighting God.  Focusing on her disappointment, she was paralyzed to think or do good.  Over time, she began to zero in on her husband’s strengths and minimize his weaknesses.  Every time he acted in an annoying way, she chose to think about his positive attributes.  She stopped criticizing him to her friends and started speaking well of him.  People of light “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 4:5, 11).

“He doesn’t seem to care about meeting my needs.”

No matter what the feminists told us, men and women aren’t the same.  Equal, yep.  But, not the same.  So, first of all, men can’t know all of our needs because they don’t think, feel, or communicate like we do.  And, second of all, shame on us for idolizing ourselves!  Are we called to be served, or to serve?  Honestly, who really knows our needs: us… or the One who made us?  A wife of many years put it this way: “I’ve learned that my husband is meeting my greatest needs.  His faithfulness is my security.  His labor provides financial covering and numerous freedoms.  Our shared faith makes us companions even when times are hard.   Does he love me?  Yes.  It is shown in his perseverance (1 Corinthians 13:7).”

“I don’t feel loved.”

Maybe we have the wrong definition of love.  If it’s an emotion, sometimes we’ll feel it and sometimes we won’t.  Love is better defined as the willingness to act for the benefit of another.  Love is being patient, kind, and unselfish (1 Corinthians 13:4-6).  I have found that love is when a husband and wife, in spite of differences, want to be a team.  “Two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11).  This is a world made hard by sin.  When the enemy of life stands at the door ready to devour us, feelings and emotions will provide little defense.  But, real love evidenced by selfless partnership will overpower evil.   “A threefold cord (husband, wife, and Christ) is not quickly broken” (v. 12).

“Everyday, he grows more distant.”

A woman has great power.  She can break or make a man.  She can crush a man’s spirit — with a look or a word — or she can help his spirit soar.  When she emasculates him, brashly or subtly, her dagger slices deep to his masculine core to attack his very personhood.  No wonder it is better for him “to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife” (Proverbs 21:9).  Indeed, “the wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down” (Proverbs 14:1).

Marriage is a hard dance.  Not surprising when we remember that we are sinful people living in a sin-filled world.  Not surprising when we acknowledge that men and women are equal, but different.  Not surprising when we consider our uniqueness as persons.  For this reason, we need the Word of God as our music.  Only then does the dance begin to change. 

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An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:10-11)

The Proverbs 31 woman seems to receive lots of praise from both men and women.  But, perhaps the praise is for something different than we think.

The first woman, Eve, fell into sin when she failed to trust God, doubted His Word, and determined for herself what was right and wrong.  This is not the case with the Proverbs 31 woman.   She appears to know her identity as a feminine creature loved and valued by God.  She trusts God and the fruit of that trust is her service to others.  She does all that she does — smart and talented as she is — for her household, her family, her husband — out of love for the Lord.  She does not focus on having her needs met, but on meeting the needs of others.  She does not sit at the “gates” of the community “among the elders;” her husband does (v.23).  She practices self-control because “she opens her mouth with wisdom” (not foolishness) and “the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (v. 26).

If we cannot praise the first woman, Eve, because she doubted and was deceived, then think about it.  Why can we praise the Proverbs 31 woman?    One of the early church fathers, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, wrote, “You have been enabled to reject the deceitful glory of the world . . . you deserve to be praised for not being deceived.”

So, then, “the heart of her husband trusts in her.”

Eve was tempted by a distortion of truth.  Vulnerable — and not trusting God, she allowed herself to be deceived.  I venture to say that the Proverbs 31 woman, living in a fallen and sinful world, was also tempted by distortions of truth.  But, every time she put her trust in God, she was able to reject the “progressive” trends, lifestyles, and behaviors of the world around her.

In being submissive (remember gals: Jesus is God, yet He was submissive to the Father), a wife can win her husband for the Lord even if he is disobedient to the Word.  It is not a woman’s outer appearance that influences a man so much as it is the “hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:1-4).  This is how “holy women” who put their hope in God have always adorned themselves (v. 5).

So, then, “the heart of her husband trusts in her.”

Now, it’s time to get personal.  I’m a wife.  I’ve had my “Eve days” and my “Proverbs 31 woman” days.  The prince of darkness likes to see me in conflict.  But, when the Holy Spirit nudges me out of myself to see the men in my life, I recognize their fragility.  My husband and sons, my dad and brother, my brother-in-laws and uncles all know how to tackle the “hard work” of life, make their way through obstacles, and faithfully provide for and cover their families.  But, they often aren’t sure what to do with the relational side.  They may appear strong, but feel weak.  They may seem heartless, but feel wounded.  They may look confidant and even arrogant, but feel like a failure.  The heart of a man needs the “gentle and quiet spirit” of a godly woman.

The Proverbs 31 woman was aware of the feminine influence God had given to her, but she was not deceived into abusing that influence.  I wonder: Could her husband open up to her because he knew she would bring him good not harm?  Could he have confidence in her respect for him even when she disagreed with his leadership?   Could he trust her to act rightly toward him no matter if she was having a good — or bad — day?  Could he depend on her for an encouraging word, even in the midst of difficulty?  I think so.

So, then, “the heart of her husband trusts in her.”

In all of my travels and all of my conversations with both men and women, I hear the same message: Wives need loving affirmation, conversation, and commitment.  Husbands need respect.  They receive this respect in a number of ways including intimacy, companionship, and domestic support and admiration.  The “heart of her husband trusts in her” when she speaks well of him to his children and in the community.  A godly man knows when he’s failing.  When his wife speaks well of him in front of children or friends, he knows she isn’t giving him a pass or letting him off the hook.  What he recognizes and values is her loyalty and “gentle and quiet spirit.”  This encourages him to try harder, to do better.

Well, that’s how I see it.  Anyone reading this may disagree.  That’s o.k.  I’m not calling myself a Proverbs 31 woman because I too often act like Eve.   The struggle within me between deception and truth rages on.  But, I have hope:

Those whose eyes rest on the Savior’s Cross will be renewed and transformed.  Those who trust the Lord will obtain the wisdom needed to oppose deceit.

So… “the heart of her husband trusts in her.”  He praises her, not because of what she does, but because she has been enabled to reject the deceit of the world.

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“It is not good,” said the Lord God, “that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18).

Let’s assume a Biblical understanding of the word “helper.”  A “helper” (Hebrew: ezer) is defined as being an “assistant” or an “ally.”   Perhaps most significantly, it is a description of God Himself.  Before Jesus returned to heaven, He promised His disciples that He would send “another Helper” (John 14:16).  That “Helper” is the Holy Spirit who is described as a “comforter” (Greek: parakletos) or someone who appears on anothers behalf.  Some commentaries speak of the Holy Spirit as an “encourager.”   The Holy Spirit imparts truth.  Builds up.  Strengthens.

I am not demeaned or offended to be a “helper fit for” man.  There is order and purpose to everything that God does.  God is order, the opposite of chaos.  The Holy Spirit is the Third Person of the Trinity — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, yet the three are equal.  The Holy Spirit is not inferior to the Father or the Son, but plays a different role.  Lives are affected through the power of the Spirit’s presence as He helps, comforts, and encourages.

In the created order, woman is not inferior to man but plays a powerfully different role.  Her presence and the way she chooses to use her natural power affects the lives of others.

Will she choose to use this power to discourage or encourage?  To bring pain or comfort?  To tear down or build up?

Man was created to be a good steward over all the earth, a defender of life, a tender covering over his wife, and the mentor of children and grandchildren.  But, he can’t do this by himself.  He needs the Word of God.  After that, he needs a helper.  That helper, said God, is woman.

How a woman helps, especially in her vocation as a wife, is explained by the way in which the first woman was made.  “The rib that the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman . . .” (Genesis 2:22).   The Hebrew word for “rib” is commonly used for a structural component related to the side of something.  When speaking of a building, it may mean a pillar or beam.  But, when used in reference to a person, it generally means a “rib bone.”   In the structure of our anatomy, the rib guards the human heart and breath of life.  Martin Luther called his wife, Katie, his “rib.”  I am my husband’s rib.   The rib is a strong bone, but it is also easily fractured or broken, especially when under attack.  Women — and the men that women love — are vulnerable in a sinful world.

In this fallen and difficult world, a woman helps her husband by being a pillar supportive of his personhood and his vocations.  Those vocations, or callings, include his stewardship, fatherhood, employment on behalf of family, and respected place in community.  How does she do this, yet remain fearless in the face of her own vulnerability?

She clings to her identity as God’s creation and the treasure for whom Jesus Christ gave all He had.  This identity never changes, no matter the circumstances.  Some women think their identity is found in being a wife, mother, teacher, musician, care-giver, or friend.  Some find their identity in their appearance, popularity, or health.  All of these vocations and circumstances are in a constant state of change.  Our identity as God’s creation and the treasure of Christ never changes… no matter if our children grow up or we lose our job, best friend, or health.

When a woman trusts her identity in Christ, she is free to use her natural power in positive ways.  She doesn’t have to control the people or circumstances in her life, but can practice self-control for the good of her neighbor.  In a marriage, that neighbor is her husband.  She has the power to make or break or husband; to build up or tear down.

Some women know they have this power.  They make a conscious decision to assume control.  Some women are clueless about this power.  They may slowly and painfully destroy their husbands with cruel and insensitive words and behaviors.  Perhaps, feeling small, they try to build themselves up by tearing their husbands down.  Both kinds of women have the same core problem: Their foundation is unsure.  They have forgotten (or never been taught) their identity in Christ.   There is another woman.  She is keenly aware of the power entrusted to her by God; therefore, she strives to use that power for good.  She knows her identity is sure and certain, no matter the circumstances.  She turns outward from self to others and, in so doing, brings glory to God.

God’s Word in the book of Proverbs speaks of a woman’s power — and choice.   “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones” (12:4).  “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down” (14:1).  “A wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.  House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord” (19:13-14).

The power of a woman — the helper, pillar and rib — is life-affecting and life-changing.  Disciplined, it is awesome.  Undisciplined, it is dangerous.

Will a woman choose to tear down… or build up?  The answer to this question doesn’t only affect men.  It affects children — for generations to come.

This ezerwoman will continue to ponder and think aloud on the journey.  In the meantime, you’re invited to visit Titus 2 for Life.

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Marriage is a grand idea.  God designed it.  One man + one woman + God = joy!

The male and the female: equal, but not the same.  Compatible.  Complementary.  Two hands from two bodies playing one song on the keyboard of life.  God bringing forth new life from one union.  A procreative masterpiece.

Sigh.  Now, in a fallen world, it is difficult (if not impossible) to imagine the perfection of God’s design.  Marriage, like all relationships, is challenged.  In the spiritual battle between life and death; good and evil; God and satan, marriage is attacked — relentlessly.  Why?  Because it is the cornerstone of civilization, a “nest” for children, and the hope for generations to come.

But, even in the most challenged marriages, God can (and does) work.  When we see our role of husband or wife as one of our vocations, we better understand our call to “love our neighbor as ourselves.”  A husband serves his neighbor (his wife).  A wife serves her neighbor (her husband).  Together, both serve their little neighbors (their children).  God doesn’t need us to do anything for Him, said Martin Luther, but our neighbor does.  God works through us to serve our neighbors.

Are we challenged in our service of others?  Oh, yes.  Even in the closest of families there are differences in personalities, mannerisms, preferences, perspectives, patience, confidence, show of love, and even humor.  The lessons learned while growing up, personal experiences, and a motly mix of genes shape one person to be a little (or a lot) different from another.  Still…

In marriage, as in all relationships, we have choices.  We can build up, or tear down.  We can focus on what’s working, or what’s not.  We can serve, or wait to be served.

Contentment in marriage doesn’t come when someone acts the way we think we’d like them to.  Contentment doesn’t depend on one person making the other happy or filling them up or meeting their needs.

Contentment is a “core” thing; it’s from the Cross.  A Cross-focus rather than a “me” focus changes husband and wife, saint and sinner, from the inside out.  Personalities and quirky habits remain, but a Cross-focused “core” changes our attitude.  Attitude changes behavior.

Our response to our neighbor reveals our “core,” no matter if they make us happy or sad.

We love because He first loved us.

(1 John 4:9)  In response to Jesus’ sacrificial love for us, how do we choose to love our neighbor?

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Titus 2 for Life is a mentoring ministry that honors God’s model for positively affecting society.  The flow of mentoring is older to younger.  “Older” is more than age.  It is experience and spiritual maturity.  Typically, with age, we become wiser.  We’ve made mistakes and hopefully learned from them.  It is unfortunate when the “younger” see little need for sage advice.

History is real.  It happened.  Of course, the best one to tell it — and explain the lessons learned from it — is the person who lived it.  I’ve been reading several stories of “older” women who were supposedly “modern” and “unbounded” earlier in their lives who now have a different perspective.

Matt Kaufman notes one.  He writes:

“Sometimes family-values talk comes from unexpected sources.  Like Raquel Welch.  Writing for CNN on the 50th anniversary of the Pill, the 69-year-old actress regrets that it took ‘the caution and discernment out of choosing a sexual partner, which used to be the equivalent of choosing a life partner.’  As a result, she writes, ‘nobody seems able to . . . honor a commitment.’

“Welch regrets her own track record in this area, too.  ‘I’m ashamed’ — how many celebs use that word? — ‘to admit that I myself have been married four times.  And yet I still feel that it is the cornerstone of civilization, an essential institution that stablilizes society, provides a sanctuary for children and saves us from anarchy.’

“There’s more.  Welch deplores ‘promiscuity.’  She says ‘any sane person’ must make a moral ‘judgment’ about certain sexual practices.  She even sounds pro-life: When she got pregnant, she realized ‘this process was not about me,’ but about the ‘life’ inside her.

“In a new book, Welch says she’s reconnected with her Christian upbringing and regularly attends church and Bible study.”  (Matt Kaufman, Focus on the Family CITIZEN)

What do you have to say about that?


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How did we forget the meaning of vocation?

Gene Edward Veith, Jr. has done well to remind me.  I’m grateful.  He doesn’t know it, but he’s helped me to weave the teaching of vocation into Titus 2 for Life (www.titus2-4life.org ).   Gene Veith and I met when I was serving as President of Lutherans For Life.  We have mutual friends.   These days, I see his writings in many publications.  Good thing.  Through his many vocations, he is engaging the culture with the Biblical worldview.

His book, God at Work: Your Christian Vocation in All of Life (Crossway Books) and his recent article, “Arenas of Service” (WORLD,8-28-10) have been very helpful to me.  Somewhere in my instruction between home, catechism, and Bible classes, I’ve heard God’s call to live out my faith in whatever I do.  Of what good is my faith if it’s private or left in the pew?   Non-Christians often seem very committed to living out their particular belief.   But, many Christians act as if they’ve either forgotten or never been told what vocation really is.

After the Reformation, Christians held to three key teachings: the authority of Scripture, justification by faith in Jesus Christ, and the doctrine of vocation.  “Modern” and “progressive” thinkers work hard to ignore the first two.  As for the doctrine of vocation, well, it “faded from the church’s memory,” says Veith.

Vocation, as Veith explains, is like justification: It is God’s work.  Vocation is how God works through us.  God uses us to care for and govern His creation.  He uses our gifts and talents to make a difference.  We are called by God into vocations.

Vocation is more than a “job.”  Every Christian has multiple vocations.  Martin Luther, notes Veith, sorted them into four “estates,” or spheres of life that God established: the church, the household, the state, and what he called “the common order of Christian love.”

God calls His people to vocations in the church.  Pastors are called into the ministry.  God works through them to teach His Word, preside at His sacraments, and give spiritual care.  Laypeople are called, too.  They serve in human care, as elders or trustees, singing in the choir, teaching children, and caring for one another.

God calls His people to vocations in the family.  Marriage is a vocation.  Fatherhood and motherhood are vocations.  In fact, as Veith points out, being a brother or sister, a grandfather or grandmother, or nephew or niece are all vocations.

God calls His people to vocations in the state.   As citizens, we have responsibilities to our government and to our culture.  Some of us are called to serve in positions of government.  The United States is unique.  U.S. citizens, writes Veith, “have the unusual calling of being both subjects and rulers at the same time, since our democratic republic places the governing authorities themselves under the authority of the people who elect them.”  The Christian is to involve himself  in civic roles and cultural engagement.

The fourth vocation is “the common order of Christian love.”  God calls us to serve Him and others through our ordinary, everyday life and relationships with our neighbors.  Some may believe we serve God only by doing “church work,” but this isn’t what Luther and the other reformers taught.  We are not to withdraw from the world, but be engaged in it.  God transforms the culture through Christian men and women who use His Word in all areas of life.

We go to Divine Service on Sunday to find the forgiveness of Christ, feed on God’s Word, receive the Sacrament of Holy Communion, and grow in our faith.  Then, we go back out into the world — our families, neighborhoods, jobs, classrooms, voting booth, volunteer activities — to serve God by serving others.

Galatians 5:6 and 1 Timothy 1:5 remind us that the purpose of every vocation is to love and serve our neighbors.

Faith bears fruit in love.

“God doesn’t need our good works,” Veith quotes Luther, “but our neighbor does.”  Our relationship with God is based completely on His work for us in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.  But just as God is hidden in vocation, Christ is hidden in our neighbors.

As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me.

Matthew 25:40 reminds us that we love and serve God by loving and serving the people He puts into our lives — friends or strangers, easy to love or not, in good times or bad.

In some vocations we exercise authority.  But, think of how Jesus exercised His authority… He was a servant.

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

This Word of God found in Mark 10:42-45 makes me ashamed because, too often, it’s all about me.  In my selfishness, I sin against my vocation.

Faithful to God’s pro-life Word, Veith writes, “Vocation clarifies moral issues.  Mothers are called to love and serve their children, not abort them or abuse them.  Doctors are called to heal their patients, not kill them.  Leaders are called to love and serve those under their authority, not exploit and tyrannize them.”

Here’s something else.  “Some actions are sinful when done outside of vocation but good works when done within vocation.  We have no calling from God that would authorize having sex with someone to whom we are not married.  But within the vocation of marriage, sex is not only authorized, it becomes the means by which God creates a one-flesh union, engenders new life, and builds a family.”

Veith explains that “vocation has to do with the priesthood of all believers.  A priest is someone who performs a sacrifice.  We no longer need sacrifices for our sins, since Christ, our great High Priest, offered Himself as our sacrifice once and for all (Hebrews 9:26).  But, in light of that sacrifice, God calls us  (Romans 12:1)

. . . to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

We are not called to lord it over others nor are we called to obsess on self-fulfillment.  Vocation focuses away from self to others.

Fathers are living sacrifices for their families when they faithfully protect and provide even in weariness and frustration.  Mothers are living sacrifices for their families when they put their own feelings aside to encourage husbands and nurture children.  Workers on the job are living sacrifices when they do their best to serve both employer and customers.

Veith explains that “Christ, who is in vocation and in the neighbor, takes up all of these sacrifices, small or great, into His sacrifice.  And He loves and serves His creation by means of our love and service in our vocations.”

A Biblical understanding of vocation means that nothing we do to God’s glory is ordinary or insignificant.  Luther said that changing a child’s diaper is holy work.  In that vein, so is preparing a meal, changing a tire, looking after an unmarried aunt, being a good listener, doing homework, donating blood, sitting by the bedside of a dying spouse, being informed about candidates before election day, praying, training in purity, paying fair salary, and performing honest labor.  The list goes on… and on.

Our vocations are many.  God works through our vocations to serve others.  Trusting this, says Veith, changes the quality of what we do.  He’s right.  It changes the words we choose, the music we sing, the business we transact, the clothing we wear… even the table we set.

Thank you, Gene Edward Veith, for helping me review my vocations.  May God help me see every word and deed as opportunities to serve not self, but others.

Now, for the rest of you, move on over and sit a spell with The Blog of Veith www.geneveith.com

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The doubts begin about a week or so before each retreat.  There is a hissing sound.  “Who do you think you are?”  Taking another look through the Study Guide brings mixed emotions: The Word is exciting, but will my manner of presentation be helpful or harmful?

On August 8-9, my living room was filled with nine women.  My prayer was, “Please, dear God, don’t let me get in the way of Your Spirit.”  There were Lutherans and non-Lutherans.  Older and younger.  Married and unmarried.  Friday evening began, as always, with a meal.  It’s a way to practice hospitality, not showing off, but showing respect.  The women settled in for a night of contrasting the world with God’s Word before recognizing what Titus, chapter two, has to say to each of us in our vocation of mentoring.  On Saturday, we continued with breakfast, two sessions (one being my favorite on “Identity”), lunch, and two more sessions.

This note arrived about a week later: “Thanks so much for welcoming us into your home for the Titus 2 Retreat . . . The material is excellent, well thought-out and organized.  But, you present it with humility blended with confidence and commitment to the message.  At our church, we are seeking transformation, not just information.  And the Titus 2 for Life message is life-changing.”

Another note read, “It’s so wonderful to listen to someone who is so articulate, doesn’t compromise one bit of God’s Word — and gets it.  I could have listened forever.”  Another read: “Prior to this, I hadn’t considered the Genesis connection to Biblical womanhood.”

On September 17-18, a Titus 2 Retreat was hosted in Norfolk, NE.  Eighteen women fit comfortably in Kathy’s peaceful and welcoming home.  She did not “show off,” but showed respect for each guest by way of her caring and servant-style manner.  Lutherans For Life members who assisted Kathy by helping with food explained their conviction and desire to help mentor away from trendy thinking to the foundational Word of God.  By 3:00 on Saturday afternoon, all the women were tired.  But, many lingered as if they didn’t want to hurry from a place of warmth and safety.

Titus 2 Retreats are not easy.  Topics covered are counter-cultural and using the “double-edged Sword of Truth” is divisive.   After a retreat, I am drained.  I know each woman has a story.  But, not knowing the stories, I pray for tender words of hope and encouragement.  I am challenged to stay on track, yet allow discussion; speak what honors God, yet be alert to a variety of emotions.

Dear Spirit, You know my opinions count for nothing.  They are not helpful.  They are shifting grains of sand.  Keep this little ministry rooted in Truth — God’s unchanging Word of Truth.  On October 8-9 in the home of Sherry and with women from the Cedar Falls area,

Let my speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that I may know how I ought to answer each person.

And, help me be a worker who

. . . has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the Word of Truth.

(Colossians 4:6; 2 Timothy 2:15)

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