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Archive for February, 2011

Off the Mat & Away From Foolishness

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2011| 1 Comment »

It’s time to move off the mat… and away from foolishness.

It is folly to believe that “equal” means “being the same.”  Male and female have always — and will always — be different.

Boys and girls in their early childhood may be somewhat alike in their inclinations.  They may both enjoy running, climbing, and playing.  But, boys transitioning into men and girls transitioning into women are not the same.  Both may be restless and willful, but what is happening to their bodies, in their heads, and with their hormones is quite different.  On his journey to manhood, there comes a time when a boy no longer views girls in the same way he views his mom or sister.  At such a time, he is in need of his dad’s wise counsel and his mom’s understanding encouragement.

A girl transitioning into a woman experiences physical changes, some that she can see… and many she cannot.  What is happening inside of her is, unfortunately, the least understood or protected.   Her procreative organs are affecting her physically and emotionally, yet she is probably more educated on how to be “sexy” than she is about being a woman.  She is probably more thoroughly groomed to compete with men than be in awe and respect of her own femininity.

Shame on modern sex education for teaching boys and girls everything there is to know about the act of sex and hardly anything at all about what it means to be of the male or female sex (gender).  And shame on us all — every parent, grandparent or mentor — who steps aside to let Victoria Secret, Abercrombie & Fitch, or Planned Parenthood teach their distorted view to boys and girls on a perilous journey to mature femininity and masculinity.

The male and female bodies have not changed since my grandmother’s book, What a Young Girl Ought to Know was written by Dr. Mary Wood-Allen in 1898.  Dr. Allen wrote, “We are sometimes apt to think that sex is located in certain organs only, but in truth sex, while centralized in the reproductive organs, makes itself manifest throughout the whole organization . . .[T]he brain of one sex is neither inferior or superior to the other; nevertheless, men and women see things from different standpoints.”

I’m the wife of a man and the mother and grandmother of boys.  No one will ever convince me that male and female are the same.  I also know that God created only two genders: male and female.  They are equal, but different.  Those who want to blur the lines between the two or, oddly, add more genders, only lead the younger generation on a dangerous detour off the good path of life.

I, for one, care about a healthy civilization.  So I will continue to appreciate the differences between male and female.  It is both foolish and dangerous to treat boys and girls as if they are the same.

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Good Sense on the Mat

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

The debate over boys and girls in contact sports continues.  With ears open, I hear good sense and hope for civilization in the comments of both men and women.  Here, as I promised, are some of those comments —

  • As a former high school wrestling coach, I see it this way.  If we are teaching young men to be pure until marriage, then wrestling a teenage girl (woman) is not appropriate or helpful.  Many wrestling holds require close contact with the opponent’s crotch or hips close together.  Tight holds across the chest or laying chest to chest are common.  If done in a high school hallway, it is considered groping, even if consensual.  If done without consent, it is sexual assault.  Putting on a pair of wrestling shoes doesn’t eradicate the moral overtones of the situation.
  • I know a girl wrestler who is well-endowed.  The boys enjoyed wrestling her.  She admitted that she liked the attention and ended up sleeping with a few of the boys.  In the name of equality, the system actually “used her” and made her more vulnerable.
  • My experience as an athletic trainer brings me to this: Outsiders looking in can say, “Boys!  Turn off your hormones,” or “You just don’t want to get beat by a girl!”  But, the fact is, boys are put in a very uncomfortable position when matched in a contact sport with a girl.  Also, girls are led to think they’re better than they really (physically) are because when a boy wrestles a girl he doesn’t wrestle the way he would against another boy.
  • Why do people think that boys and girls need to do the same things?  Or, if they do the same things, why do they need to do them together or in a competitive way?  Do parents really think that a boy wrestling a girl has no influence on his (or her) thinking?
  • Boys learn lessons from sports that help them later in life professionally in business and in working relationships with other men.   They learn what it means to work as a team.  Women participating with men in contact sports  mess with that camaraderie.
  • I was a tomboy, but I know there are some things we females should and shouldn’t do.  I’m disappointed when I witness situations where people are so absorbed in today’s “accepted” societal practices, but disregard simple things like respect, consideration for others, self-discipline, servitude and so on.  We are caught up in a “I deserve what I want, when I want it” mentality.
  • A reporter commented that Joel Northrup, the Iowa wrestler, was in need of “counseling” because he forfeited a match to a girl.  In reality, young Joel was exhibiting qualities of decency, integrity, and leadership.
  • Whether a person is a Christian or not, nature itself is not in favor of boy-girl wrestling.  The entire purpose of aggressive male sports is defeated when females participate.  Male sports with girls become games.  Games are fine for social events, but not for wrestling (or the military, for that matter).
  • Freedom requires that good men and women will stand up for what is right.  What is right?  It is found in God’s Word.  There is maturity in choosing right over winning worldly recognition.
  • I am reminded of a story.  A man opened the door for a woman behind him.  The woman snarled, “I suppose you are doing this because I am a lady!”  He replied, “No ma’am.  I’m doing this because I am a gentleman.”
  • There is nothing more liberating, right, and helpful to society than identifying and honoring the male and female differences created by God.

There is good sense… on the mat — and with all issues of life.  It comes when we begin to trust the Creator of male and female.

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Back on the Mat

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Please bear with me.  I’m staying with the topic of boys and girls matching up to wrestle because this issue is indicative of a much deeper problem.   The problem roots deeply into the culture at large.

What is the problem?  We have forgotten — or not believed — who we are as male and female.  We have failed to understand and appreciate God’s equal but different creation of male and female.  Failing to appreciate our very identity and the relationships and responsibilities that come from that identity has a profound affect on marriage, family, the workplace, the military, well — in general — the health of civilization.

The younger generation is not to blame for experimenting with behaviors or wanting to break through barriers.  Young people have always wanted to cross boundaries or do something different from their parents.  It’s the older generation I hold responsible.  When fathers, mothers and grandparents forget what God has done and the hard-learned lessons of experience, then we will probably fail to equip (let alone protect) our children.

The culture is deteriorating.  We are falling to a lower standard of behavior.  And, as so-called adults remove natural boundaries and disregard the uniqueness of male and female, our children will suffer the consequences.  But…

I’m an eternally optimistic person.  Nearly every day, I hear from someone who writes or speaks with the logic and sense that can only come from the Creator of male and female.  In my next post, I hope to share the thoughts of some of those daring and clear-headed thinkers.  In the meantime, let me leave you with this:

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths.  Rather train yourself for godliness, for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promises for the present life and also for the life to come . . . ” (1 Timothy 4:7-9).

The young wrestler, Joel Northrup, is an example in speech, conduct, and faith (v. 12) not only for his generation, but for mine.

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Males & Females on the Mat

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , on February 26, 2011| 1 Comment »

In Titus 2 Retreats, we consider God’s Word as it applies to current issues that affect modern women.  One of the issues that can stir a little debate is athletic competition between boys and girls.

A few days ago, I commended Joel Northrup of Iowa, the young gentleman who forfeited his match rather than wrestle a girl.  Jim Daley of Focus on the Family also posted a blog.  He received dozens of responses.  One of them is from a mother.  It may serve as an example of how our thinking has been more influenced by the world than by God’s Word.  The mother’s comments are in italics.  My questions — to perhaps help us all think — are in parenthesis.

The mother wrote, “My daughter loves to wrestle.  She is the only girl in a family of three brothers and is very much a tomboy.  Don’t get me wrong, she is totally female and knows how to be and act like a lady. (Q: How does a “lady” act?  Will she knowingly place a gentleman in a position that compromises his convictions?)  She knows how to be rough with boys and take it, knowing full well they can hurt her.” (Q: Does she want to put boys in a position where they can hurt her?  Is it ever o.k. for boys or men to “hurt” girls or women?)

The mother continues, “My daughter wanted to wrestle.  There are no all-girl wrestling teams in our area so she had to join the boys’ team.  The only boy who would even practice with her was a boy that had been part of our family since she was born. (Q: Is there a message from the boys in their reluctance to even practice wrestling with a girl?  How is a Christian boy or young man taught to treat a girl or woman?) 

The mother concluded, “My daughter gave up something she loved because the boys wouldn’t wrestle her.  Is she supposed to refrain from something because it’s a ‘boy’s sport'”? (Q: Isn’t the Christian often called to “give up” something we love because it might be wrong or harmful to others?  Aren’t we called to “refrain from something” that might cause another to lower their standard of behavior or be tempted to sin?)

What, after all, does this mean:

. . . Decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother (Romans 14:13b).

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True Gentleman

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , on February 19, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Thank you, Joel Northrup, for standing up both for your beliefs and out of respect for a girl.

Joel, a home-schooled sophomore, defaulted on his match with freshman Cassy Herkelman because he doesn’t think boys and girls should compete in the sport.  Joel was a 35-4 wrestler for Linn-Mar High School in Iowa.

“Wrestling is a combat sport,” Joel said, “and it can get violent at times.  As a matter of conscience and my faith I do not believe that it is appropriate for a boy to engage a girl in this manner.  It is unfortunate that I have been placed in a situation not seen in most other high school sports in Iowa.”

Joel is a hero in my book.  A “titanic” hero.  A 911 hero.

Cassie joins 6000 other girls competing in wrestling in 2009-10.  Most states require girls to wrestle boys, but California, Hawaii, Washington, and Tennessee sponsor girls-only high school wrestling tournaments.

Girls can compete with boys in a “familiar,” body-slamming, and take-down sport; but, should they?

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Speaking of Abortion

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

God gave humans great potential.  From the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, God had plans for His creation.  People were to have a perfect and loving relationship with God.  This would allow them to experience harmonious relationships with all other human beings.  But, sin destroyed perfection.

When Satan tempted Eve, he raised a question.  “Did God really say . . .” (Genesis 3:1).  He subtly turned Eve’s thinking, causing her to think that, perhaps, God was holding something back from her.  Adam and Eve rebelled against God, elevating themselves and their desires to compete with God.  Left to themselves, man and woman would have been forever alienated from God because of sin.  But, God didn’t give up on His beloved creation.  He provided the way back to Himself through His Son Jesus Christ.

Today, satan speaks through many disguises.

  • Satan hisses, “Did God really say that He created us in our mother’s womb?”  But, God assures us (Psalm 139:13-16).
  • Satan taunts, “Did God really say that He knew us even before we were born?”  But, God assures us (Jeremiah 1:5).
  • Satan tempts, “Did God really say that taking your child’s life is murder?”  But, God assures us (Deuteronomy 5:17).
  • Satan dares, “Did God really say that a woman doesn’t have a right to make decisions concerning her own body?”  But, God assures us (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
  • Satan sneers, “Isn’t your God a compassionate God?  Did He really say you should bear the burden of a child for the rest of your life because of one night’s passion?”  But, God assures us (Philippians 4:13)

Satan tempted the first man and woman to sin, but he wasn’t alone in bearing the responsibility for that sin.  Still today, he actively tries to seduce and persuade us with his temptation and accusation, but we can’t honestly pass our decisions off onto him.  Within each of us is a conflict of desires.  Galatians 5:15-21 explains the results of living by the desires of our sinful flesh.

Rev. Ed Fehskens, a trusted friend and pastor, writes, “A compassionate church will speak clearly and without compromise against the sin of abortion, cutting through the rationalizations that people use to convince themselves it was the right — and only — thing to do, considering the circumstances.  For the love of souls, we must also say that beyond the emotional and physical damage, abortion, like any sin, causes grievous spiritual harm.  Unrepentant sin places us in danger of losing our salvation — the greatest tragedy of all.”

Here’s the Good News!  Trusting in Christ and looking to His Word for life, we are moved to thoughts and actions that serve and honor God.  And, after repenting of our sin — no matter what that sin might be — we are received into the arms of our Father God because of what Jesus has already done for us on the Cross.  We are forgiven!  We are new!  We can start over!  (Psalm 32:3-5; John 8:10-11; Peter 1:3; 1 John 1:9)

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Twisted Thinking

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Citizenship, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Dennis Prager is a favorite author of mine.  Here are a few observations from his recent commentary in The Washington Times. I selected these because they speak to areas of my concern.  Prager writes:

  • “The left owns the language.  Married women are not to be referred to as ‘Mrs.’ but as ‘Ms.’  And the words ‘lady,’ ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ have largely gone to their graves.”
  • “One can only speak of male-female differences if the difference shows the female superior.  Thus to say women are innately more intuitive is perfectly acceptable, but to say men are innately more likely to excel at math is ‘sexist.'”
  • “A woman may reveal as much of her body as she wishes.  But if a man is perceived by a woman as looking too long at what she reveals, or if he comments on what she reveals, he may be fired from his job and/or sued for ‘sexual harassment.'”
  • “A woman may wear a miniskirt and crop-top, but a man may not have a calendar of women wearing miniskirts and crop-tops on his desk at work.  That constitutes sexual harassment and a ‘hostile work environment.'”

Thank you, Dennis Prager, for including these examples in your commentary “Put Totalitarian Mind Control in the Cross Hairs” (The Washington Times Weekly Edition, 2-7-11).  The behavior that follows such twisted thinking is discussed at great length during our Titus 2 Retreats.  Then, we encourage one another to

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths.  Rather train yourself for godliness . . . set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

(1 Timothy 4:7-12)

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The Throne of Grace

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2011| 2 Comments »

The woman carries a burden.  It is the guilt and grief of an abortion.

The deceiver of her soul never leaves her alone.  “Can God ever forgive you?”   “Choice” is building a wall between her and God.  Wouldn’t it be easier to sleep in on Sunday mornings?

Her conscience is stirred.  She remembers that, as a little girl, she attended worship with her parents.  She didn’t really understand the service.  The hymns seemed old and the pews hard.  But, there was a sense of order and peace.  Even her little girl heart identified with that.

So, one Sunday morning, the woman returned to the place of her childhood.  The place of order and peace.  Perhaps her burden made her more sensitive, but something had changed.  Instead of quiet reverence, there was noise and distraction. 

She intentionally chose the more contemporary service.  Even so, there was humility in her manner because she believed she was entering the House of the Lord.   The flurry of activity startled her.  Posters, banners, blinking lights, a latte station, people handing out brochures, and a praise band overpowered her senses.  Making her way to a back pew, she bowed her head.  She wanted to sort out her thoughts.  To pray.  But, all around her people in conversation competed with the vocalists and band.  Her mind wandered away from her prayer.

The woman remembered holding her hymnal when she was a girl.  But, now all the words were on a power point screen.  She couldn’t page through the Psalms or read God’s Word in the hymns.   She couldn’t turn to the page of confession and absolution.  The service moved so quickly.  Along with the others, she was praising her Lord, but what was He doing for her?

The pastor was dynamic.  Charismatic.  He looked almost like everyone else in the room.  She couldn’t help but wonder: How would he receive her?  He spoke about Jesus and mercy and grace, but did she miss the part about why she needed such mercy and grace?

She approached the Lord’s Table with hunger, but was not allowed to kneel, pause before the Cross, and ponder on what she was receiving.   The line of people moved quickly by the pastors and several elders.  She noticed some people looking at their watches.  Perhaps it was her imagination, but the band seemed louder.  Still, it didn’t drown out her pounding heart.  The anxiety.  What am I doing, she asked herself.  Why am I here?

Back in her pew, she again bowed her head.  But, there was no silence.  The praising continued.  The congregation was singing about a great God, a loving God.  But, where was He?  All of the people around her were doing something for Him, but what was He doing for them?  For her?

She had come to His sanctuary, but felt herself in an auditorium.  Sight and sound teased her emotions, but she always felt that way after a trip to the mall, too.

She had come to leave her burden before the Throne of Grace, be received as His daughter, and be equipped for her daily battle with the deceiver of her soul.  But, everyone was so busy taking their hour to praise the Lord.  Perhaps the Lord was receiving her as His daughter, but her head was turned away.  Her eyes were focused elsewhere.

She left with her burden in tow.  She hadn’t really felt like praising God, but wanted Him do something for her.  She wondered, did He give to her and all the others what they needed to engage in daily spiritual warfare?  Or, had they given Him some of their time before scurrying back to real life?

Does this woman sit in your midst?  Does your congregation’s choice of worship direct such a woman to the Cross, or distract her away?  Is she allowed to “be still and know that I am God,” or is she overwhelmed by the choreography of human hand?

Just pondering on the journey…

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Red Letters

Posted in Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, tagged , , , , , , on February 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Red letters in the New Testament help me see and “hear” what Jesus spoke to the people of His day and to me.

But, red letters in the New Testament have tempted many well-meaning Christians to limit Jesus’ words.  Jesus is the Word of Life.  He is the Way, the Truth, and the Light throughout all of Scripture.  He is the Word made flesh.  He is the Creator who spoke life into existence and then came to live with His creation.  Every word in both Old and New Testament is the Word of God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Jesus’ words printed in red letters are helpful for the reader.  But, when we are tempted to believe those are the only words of Jesus we Christians become more vulnerable.  At such times, we more easily compromise with the world.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14).  All of Scripture is the word of Truth, Jesus Christ, given for our use in all circumstances.

Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse!  The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and . . . He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which He is called is The Word of God.”

(Revelation 19:11-13)

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Marisol & Deborah Pose a Question

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Marisol Valles Garcia is a 20-year-old mother of one child.  In November of 2010, she became the police chief of Praxedis G. Geurrero, a small town near Ciudad Juarez which is Mexico’s most violent city.  Marisol is a criminology student who says she loves the town of Guerrero where she’s lived for ten years.  She was offered the chief’s job a year after her predecessor was murdered.  This quiet farming community has turned into a “lawless no man’s land” into which, it appears, no man is willing to step.

Two rival gangs, Juarez and Sinaloa drug cartels, battle for control of a drug trafficking route along the Texas border.  Marisol, described as tiny but energetic, finds herself in the midst of this war.  She says she plans to hire more women, but “will leave most of the decisions about weapons and tactics to the town mayor, Jose Luis Guerrero.”  Marisol has two body guards, but chooses not to carry a gun of her own.

About the same time Marisol took the job of police chief in her Mexican border town, another woman “top cop” was murdered.  The CNN report on her death read, “One of a small number of women who have filled a void by becoming police chiefs in violence-torn Mexico was gunned down” in November 2010.  Hermila Garcia, 38, was not a mother.  She was a lawyer and willing to serve the people of Meoqui.  “Was she courageous or foolhardy?” asked CNN.

Several reports on these two women read the same.  The situation in the Juarez Valley along the Mexico and U.S. border has become so desperate that women are filling the void.

I am reminded of Deborah.  She was a prophetess and judge filling a void during a desperate time in Israel’s history.  She sent for Barak, the son of Abinoam, and said to him, “Has not the Lord, the God of Israel, commanded you, ‘Go, gather your men at Mount Tabor . . . and I will draw out Sisera, the general of Jabin’s army, to meet you by the river Kishon with his chariots and his troops, and I will give him into your hand’?”  But, Barak replied, “If you will go with me, I will go, but if you will not go with me, I will not go.”  (Judges 4:4-16)

Deborah said, “I will surely go with you.  Nevertheless, the road on which you are going will not lead to your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.”  Deborah went with Barak, but only as far as Mount Tabor.  She did not go down into battle.  She fulfilled her role by encouraging Barak and his troops with the words and promises of God.  The woman into whose hand the enemy general, Sisera, was “delivered” was Jael.  When Sisera was being pursued by the Israelite army, he fled to the tent of Jael.  Jael, the wife of Heber, killed the enemy general not with a sword or military weapon, but with a tent peg which was a common household item.  (Judges 4:17-22).

Marisol is a mother living in the midst of a Mexican drug corridor.  In a desperate situation, with no men stepping forward, Marisol is filling a void.  In doing that, she is a target for enemy fire.  No biological children of Deborah are mentioned in the passages from  Judges.  However, in a desperate situation with no men stepping forward, Deborah filled a void.  In filling that void, she did not position herself as a target for enemy fire but, instead, played a motherly role by encouraging and strengthening her people.

The question posed by Marisol and Deborah is this: When the enemy threatens a family or nation, a woman can step up to face him, but should she?

A long time ago, life in another quiet farming community was threatened.  Eve was tempted to engage the enemy.  Adam did nothing.  God’s order for His beloved creation was ignored.  What were the consequences?

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