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Archive for the ‘Biblical manhood & womanhood’ Category

Christina Hoff Sommers is the author of The War Against Boys.  The Ph.D. scholar cites one example after another of how America’s academic, political, and cultural “elite” have maligned and tried to re-define masculinity.

Speaking on behalf of those cultural “elites,” Gloria Steinem said, “We need to raise boys like we raise girls.”  Bear in mind that such convoluted thinking followed the so-called “girlhood project” of the 70s:  Raise girls like boys.  Giving birth to a daughter instead of a son was, for some parents, somewhat of an embarrassment.

On campus and off, workshops, seminars, and projects exist with a sole focus of “transforming” boys.  A “boy’s masculinity” is seen by cultural “elites” as a “problem.”  Despising patriarchy, off-track feminists work feverishly to construct a new version of manhood.

Sommers asks, “How well do [these people] understand and like boys?  Who has authorized their mission?”

David Kupelian is the author of How Evil Works.  He asks, “Why would our culture so denigrate masculinity?  And why — this is the flip side of the same question — are we becoming so increasingly feminized as a society?”  He continues, “Today’s high level of gender confusion and role reversal, manifested most obviously in the dramatic upswing — and near celebration — of homosexuality, is one of the great cultural mysteries of our time.  The bending and sometimes breaking of traditional gender roles permeates our society in obvious and subtle ways.”

Sexual confusion abounds — in clothing, college dorms, and the workplace.   There is sexual confusion when girls “try out” lesbianism or bisexuality because it’s “chic.”   There is sexual confusion when girls wrestle boys and women are put on the front lines of war.

George Gilder is the author of Men and Marriage.  He writes, “To the sexual liberal, gender is a cage.  Behind cruel bars of custom and tradition, men and women for centuries have looked lovingly across forbidden spaces at one another and yearned to be free of sexual roles.”   Hmm.  Reminds me of a beautiful garden where a woman was tempted to reach for something that was not good for her to have.

I’m grateful that  my grandmother took one look at my newly born dad and knew, without a doubt, that she would raise him to be a boy.  More than that, she would allow him to be a boy.  When our sons were born, I didn’t argue with God or tell Him He’d made a mistake.  Nor did I force them to become more soft and sensitive.  There’s no denying that I had to walk a fine line.  They needed to be aware of how girls think and like to be treated, but also be allowed to drive go-carts at high speeds,  climb windmills, blaze a Yellowstone trail, and prefer science fiction to chick flicks and discussions of logic rather than emotion.

I’ll admit there have been (and continue to be) lots of times when I wish my husband better understood me as a woman.  I wish he could “read my mind.”  But, he’s not a woman.  Therefore, we do think, love, perceive, react, and communicate differently.  I’m glad my husband isn’t confused about his gender.  When the enemy is at the door, I will be eternally grateful when he steps in front of me to face evil.  That’s what my brother did one night when a deranged man was breaking in.  My brother did not send my sister-in-law to the door.  He engaged the enemy.  He protected the household.  He knew what his role was and he played it well.

I wonder.  Would Daniel Boone have aggressively tamed the wilderness if his mother had raised him to be “in touch with his feminine side”?  Would husbands and fathers have sacrificed their lives on a ship named Titanic if that culture would have despised chivalry?  And what if young men stayed home and tens upon thousands of young women of child-bearing age stormed the beaches of Normandy, Omaha, and Iwo Jima?

There is nothing wrong with boys.  Just because a boy fidgets doesn’t mean he needs some sort of drug.  There is nothing wrong with boys who want to roughhouse or jump in a muddy stream, but balk at the suggestion of shopping.  Instead of disfiguring distorting, or denying boyishness or girlishness, why don’t we stand in awe of the uniquely different male and female anatomy?  Appreciate the boundaries of male and female gender and grow a healthier, safer society because of them?   Celebrate the male and female eyes of the human race and be better for it?

A war against boys hurts girls, too.  Eventually, it weakens society.  Messing with creation is nasty business with hopeless consequences.

So, that’s why I called the parents of Joel Northrup to say “thank you.”  Joel took a stand as a gentleman and refused to dishonor or confuse a girl on a public wrestling mat.  He is not ashamed to be a boy, to be a male person.  He is  not ashamed to practice his faith which tells him to regard women as the weaker sex, not because they are less than him, but because he is called by God not to take advantage or abuse them.  In putting his faith into practice, Joel honored a created boundary that will serve him — and women — very, very well.

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If the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is not defended, what might happen?

Shortly after same-sex “marriage” was forced on Massachusetts by that state’s highest court, a few parents realized their children were being taught same-sex unions were normal, natural, and the moral equivalent of marriage between a man and a woman.  These parents attempted to opt their children out of these public school lessons, but were ultimately unsuccessful in a court of law.  Two federal courts in Massachusetts, including the appeals court just below the U.S. Supreme Court, determined that, because same-sex “marriage” was legally recognized in Massachusetts, parents no longer had the right to determine whether or what their children would be taught about these relationships.  (Source: Tom Minnery, Focus on the Family)

Marriage is being attacked even as children are being taught that all choices are equal.  Here’s the thing.  Mentoring, teaching morality, and raising children is the job of parents, not schools.  Chuck Colson writes, “If we want our children to know how to behave prudently, how to delay gratification for a higher goal, how to look to the needs of others before pandering to their own passions, then we’ll have to teach them in the context of family — best of all, of course, a loving, mom-and-dad family.”

If the courts decide that marriage is just a contract between any kind or number of consenting adults, what consequences will follow?  Colson notes that “we will have, in effect, removed all restraints and social conventions surrounding not just sex and marriage but child rearing and training as well.  If morality is anything we want it to be, if it serves only our passions and personal autonomy, we’re doomed as a culture.”

Homosexual activists are working feverishly to convince educators to normalize an unnatural behavior.  But, moms, dads, and grandparents can speak with the conviction of God’s Word, science and age-old human experience.

It appears to be very dark out there, but darkness has never overcome the light.  (John 1:4)

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My grandparents had common sense, and generally used it.  It served them so well that they faithfully passed it on to my parents.  It served them well, too, so they shared with me.   But, whenever I’m about to use the term these days, I hesitate.  Sense isn’t so common anymore.

Tonight, while sitting at the intersection of six lanes from four directions, I looked at the traffic lights with new appreciation.  (I was also grateful for my driver’s ed instructor who had schooled me in how to properly navigate my vehicle in the midst of other vehicles.)  And yet, when it comes to healthy and safe relationships between boys and girls, there is this ridiculous notion that we should take down the traffic lights and let the children do whatever “feels right.”  (Planned Parenthood, is there something about children you don’t like?)

Oh, silly me.  I forgot that Planned Parenthood is the same organization that has helped abort 50 million of this country’s sons and daughters.  Unfortunately, the very generation that ushered in legalized abortion could very well be ushered out by euthanasia.  It’s impossible, you know, for aborted people to support 76 million aging baby boomers.

No wonder the AARP is driving Congress and pushing for national health care.  My generation forgot about tomorrow!  We were so focused on our rights, our pleasures, OURSELVES… that we didn’t want to be inconvenienced by the very people that would have generated new households, jobs, labor, goods and services, consumers, investment, innovation, new life… well, you know, all the things necessary to keep civilization moving along in the direction of hope.

Can anyone even imagine the impact of 50 million lost Americans?  Maybe, as we begin to recognize that choices have consequences, we’ll pray for Common Sense: 101 to be mandatory for graduation.  It will bring new life!

Think on this, won’t you, next time you’re stopped at a traffic light.  Then say a little thank you to those who had the common sense to put it there.

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Hitler once said to the parents of Germany, “What are you?  You will pass on.  Your descendants, however, now stand in the new camp.  In a short time they will know nothing else but this new community.”

Much of the older generation in Germany kept quiet.  Good Germans trusted authorities, minded their own business, and steered clear of conflict.  But do you know who spoke up?  Do you know who publicly went on record to oppose Hitler?

It was the  young people!  One of the few organized public efforts to oppose the Third Reich was a small group of university students who called themselves the White Rose Society.  These students had been politically indoctrinated from childhood; some were trained as Hitler youth.  Nevertheless, these young people resolved to take a stand against evil.  How is this possible?  How could these young people resist the Nazi culture?  Because they were idealistic and willing to rebel against bad ideas; they were influenced by families who opposed Hitler; they were medical students who knew about medical atrocities; and most had Jewish friends or classmates.

Two of these students were executed — beheaded — for their resistance.  They were a Lutheran brother and sister, Hans and Sophie Scholl.  Hans and Sophie knew the time had come to act.  The printed and distributed leaflets called Leaves of the White Rose, telling others about the mass extermination of human life and calling for resistance.  They called for a “freedom from evil” and a “rebirth of German life devoted to truth.”  One of the leaflets read: “We seek the revival of the deeply wounded German spirit.  For the sake of future generations, an example must be set after the war so that no one will ever have the slightest desire to try anything like this ever again . . . We shall not be silent — we are your conscience.  The White Rose will not leave you in peace.”

You and I know young people like this who speak to our conscience and who could rise up to oppose evil.  They are the generation who knows exactly what abortion is, and they don’t like it.  They have witnessed the failures of modern feminism and sex education, and they want something better.  Their souls long for truth.

It’s no wonder Planned Parenthood is afraid.   The younger generation could demand that America cease its barbaric ways.  The younger generation could demand that the Church be the distinctively different Church it is supposed to be.

There are generations of hope.  Though God has promised His judgment on the third and fourth generations, His mercy is to thousands of generations.

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There are a lot of us who are afraid to speak up about “social experiments” gone bad.  Part of the reason is because we believe the lie that faith should be kept in a corner off by itself never to interact with science, psychology or real life.  But, separating faith from everyday life places civilization at risk.

Rather than letting “social experiments” — unnatural choices and behaviors — rule the day, it seems to me that we should be taking every opportunity to enter into sane and civil conversation.  In doing so, we shouldn’t be afraid of using the Word and Wisdom of the Creator.

I learned a powerful lesson last week.  A Christian who goes public with Word and Wisdom may discover that even non-believers come to many of the same conclusions as believers.  The old phrase “don’t tamper with mother nature,” while not Biblical, is logical and sensible.

God created men and women to be equal, but  not the same.  Nature agrees.  Biology agrees.  Psychology agrees.  So, whether we’re talking about girls who want to wrestle boys or two men/two women who want to marry, we’re talking about a “social experiment.”  A social experiment breaks away from what is natural.  Healthy.  Hopeful.  A social experiment may scream “equality,” but it denies the complimentary differences of male and female and, in so doing, leads civilization to destruction.

Christians are given ample opportunity right now to engage others in sane and civil conversation.  If we don’t, our children and grandchildren may suffer greatly.  Focus, for a moment, on the institution of marriage.  Marriage predates any known human government.  But, the U.S. government (specifically, the President and Department of Justice) have announced they will no longer defend the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

DOMA defines marriage in all federal laws as the union of a man and woman, and protects the ability of states to not recognize same-sex marriages from other states.  But, DOMA has been attacked by the very government that is supposed to protect this constitutional law.

I hope to post some sane and reasonable, but also civil and respectful, comments about marriage in the coming weeks.  Countless people out there — much smarter than me — have already offered “talking points” for those of us who want to engage our family, neighbors and co-workers in uncompromising yet gentle conversation.

For now, consider this: The social experiment of “gay marriage” goes against life itself.  I encourage you to do some research of your own.  Visit the web sites of Exodus International, Regeneration Ministries, The Family Research Council, Concerned Women for America, and Focus on the Family.

Then, remember.  Sane and civil conversation — using science, psychology and God’s Word — salted with kindness and respect for others is always a good thing.

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Did I get carried away with too many blogs about girls and wrestling?  Just when I was beginning to think so, I received a surprising e-mail from a man I’ve never met.  This gentleman (I’ll call him Bill) has a PhD in biology.   Apparently he pays close attention to any and all discussions of boys and girls on the mat.  Somehow, he found ezerwoman.

It’s important that you hear from this gentleman, not only because he agrees that “equal” does not mean “the same,” or that he encourages me to continue mentoring Biblical manhood and womanhood, but because he proves that Christians help build bridges for the benefit of the human race when we ask questions that help people think.  When we enter into dialogue on moral and ethical issues.  When we appeal to what was once called “common sense.”

This gentleman wrote,  “I am an arrant agnostic — a self-styled poet-philosopher-canary-priest-with my spiritual roots in nature.  But I could not agree more vigorously with your objections to the decadence — as in Roman — of allowing (or more accurately) of forcing boys to wrestle girls.  I have been following this issue for at least ten years.”

It was obvious that Bill had carefully studied the most physically intimate of all contact sports.  He offered many sane and sensible reasons why boy/girl wrestling is a terrible idea.  He is concerned that civilization is wounded by such foolishness.  He wrote,  “I believe in self-sacrifice for others, in kindness, in consideration for others before myself.  I remember the mantra of our YMCA boys’ camp:  God first, others second, me third.  Today, as we watch boys and girls in violent combat on wrestling mats, that mantra seems to have become ‘Me first, me second, me first.'”

Then, he really caught my attention.  “The values you mention in your blogs are simply ignored in our modern culture,” wrote Bill.   “Even as an agnostic biologist, I think your Christian values are essential to any civilization that wants to live above the animal level of material-sensual gratification.”

I thanked Bill for taking the time to write me.  He responded with a second e-mail, explaining that he had become a writer after leaving the scientific community.  But, after some time passed, he wanted to get back in touch with biologists.  For a few months, he subscribed to the blog of an evolutionist.  Bill found the site “instructional in professional matters,” but disappointing in its Christian bashing.  “Christianity was dismissed as sheer stupidity without any redeeming value.” Bill explained to me that he felt “uncomfortable in this steady current of arrogant meanness,” so he unsubscribed.  He didn’t agree with such hatred being poured upon an institution (Christianity) “that embraced all of life, from birth to death, from reason to faith, from beauty and goodness to ugliness and evil.”

Then, wrote Bill, “this wrestling incident occurred, and because the young man cited his Christian faith, it catapulted the small, cloistered world of wrestling into the national spotlight and presented to view the grotesque, distorted values that have evolved there.  It seems like a microcosm of society at large and the moral decadence we have enshrined as moral good.  And against all this, the best aspects of Christianity began to emerge from the smoke — the dignity, the calm, the pure, measured decency of 2000 years of Christian ‘evolution’ (can’t help myself!).  Anyhow, just wanted to express this to you.”

Thank you,  Bill.   You remind me that Christianity is needed in this hurting world as much today as yesterday.  I’m so sorry that we Christians do such a poor job of following Jesus Christ and are more easily influenced by false teachings.

But, I am encouraged to stay the course by a secular biologist who sees that good and evil, right and wrong, morality and decadence really do exist.  Each rises from a core belief.  Each has a consequence.

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In January, a trial opened for Faleh Almaleki.  Mr. Almaleki is an Iraqi immigrant accused of murdering his 20-year-old daughter, Noor.  Noor’s father was upset that his daughter dressed and behaved like a Westerner.  He was angry that she was about to marry, not the man he had chosen for her, but an American.  And, so, on October 20, 2009, he ran over her with his Jeep in a Peoria, AZ., parking lot and injured her so badly that she died.

Noor’s father killed her because she had dishonored her family.  Her murder is called an “honor killing.”  It is justified by Muslim tradition.

Abigail R. Esman, a self-defined “liberal,” wonders why her liberal peers, journalists and activists, are not reporting this “honor killing” as well as thousands of others.  Esman writes, “U.N. statistics of 5,000 honor killings per year are generally recognized to be grossly understated.  In the Netherlands alone, the official number of honor killings per year stands at 13, or more than one every month — and that does not include the growing trend of ‘honor suicides’ — girls and even boys who take their own lives knowing that if they don’t do it, others will, that they’ve been marked for death.  In England and Germany, the numbers are about the same.”

Esman continues, “These are not — as often is claimed — your standard cases of domestic abuse.  Honor violence, unlike the domestic abuse we know, is often supported, sanctioned and even encouraged by the local Muslim community.  Indeed, parents frequently feel they have no other choice.”  (The Washington Times Weekly Edition, 2/14/11)

There is another way.

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  Therefore, choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him, for He is your life . . . (Deuteronomy 31:19-20).”

Jesus Christ does not call us to “honor killings.”  He calls us to honor Him with our defense of human life, no matter the circumstances.  No matter the failures or disappointments.  No matter the inconvenience.  No matter the embarrassment.  After all, He died in our place — to remove the failures, disappointments, inconvenience, and embarrassment. To remove the stain of sin.

We disobey our Father with our daily sins, but He does not attempt to kill us.  Instead, He has mercy on us.  His mercy is new every morning.  It is given and shed for us.

Jesus sacrificed Himself on our behalf.  We are created, loved, and redeemed by God.  We are treasures of great value.  For this reason, Jesus says:

Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).

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It’s time to move off the mat… and away from foolishness.

It is folly to believe that “equal” means “being the same.”  Male and female have always — and will always — be different.

Boys and girls in their early childhood may be somewhat alike in their inclinations.  They may both enjoy running, climbing, and playing.  But, boys transitioning into men and girls transitioning into women are not the same.  Both may be restless and willful, but what is happening to their bodies, in their heads, and with their hormones is quite different.  On his journey to manhood, there comes a time when a boy no longer views girls in the same way he views his mom or sister.  At such a time, he is in need of his dad’s wise counsel and his mom’s understanding encouragement.

A girl transitioning into a woman experiences physical changes, some that she can see… and many she cannot.  What is happening inside of her is, unfortunately, the least understood or protected.   Her procreative organs are affecting her physically and emotionally, yet she is probably more educated on how to be “sexy” than she is about being a woman.  She is probably more thoroughly groomed to compete with men than be in awe and respect of her own femininity.

Shame on modern sex education for teaching boys and girls everything there is to know about the act of sex and hardly anything at all about what it means to be of the male or female sex (gender).  And shame on us all — every parent, grandparent or mentor — who steps aside to let Victoria Secret, Abercrombie & Fitch, or Planned Parenthood teach their distorted view to boys and girls on a perilous journey to mature femininity and masculinity.

The male and female bodies have not changed since my grandmother’s book, What a Young Girl Ought to Know was written by Dr. Mary Wood-Allen in 1898.  Dr. Allen wrote, “We are sometimes apt to think that sex is located in certain organs only, but in truth sex, while centralized in the reproductive organs, makes itself manifest throughout the whole organization . . .[T]he brain of one sex is neither inferior or superior to the other; nevertheless, men and women see things from different standpoints.”

I’m the wife of a man and the mother and grandmother of boys.  No one will ever convince me that male and female are the same.  I also know that God created only two genders: male and female.  They are equal, but different.  Those who want to blur the lines between the two or, oddly, add more genders, only lead the younger generation on a dangerous detour off the good path of life.

I, for one, care about a healthy civilization.  So I will continue to appreciate the differences between male and female.  It is both foolish and dangerous to treat boys and girls as if they are the same.

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The debate over boys and girls in contact sports continues.  With ears open, I hear good sense and hope for civilization in the comments of both men and women.  Here, as I promised, are some of those comments —

  • As a former high school wrestling coach, I see it this way.  If we are teaching young men to be pure until marriage, then wrestling a teenage girl (woman) is not appropriate or helpful.  Many wrestling holds require close contact with the opponent’s crotch or hips close together.  Tight holds across the chest or laying chest to chest are common.  If done in a high school hallway, it is considered groping, even if consensual.  If done without consent, it is sexual assault.  Putting on a pair of wrestling shoes doesn’t eradicate the moral overtones of the situation.
  • I know a girl wrestler who is well-endowed.  The boys enjoyed wrestling her.  She admitted that she liked the attention and ended up sleeping with a few of the boys.  In the name of equality, the system actually “used her” and made her more vulnerable.
  • My experience as an athletic trainer brings me to this: Outsiders looking in can say, “Boys!  Turn off your hormones,” or “You just don’t want to get beat by a girl!”  But, the fact is, boys are put in a very uncomfortable position when matched in a contact sport with a girl.  Also, girls are led to think they’re better than they really (physically) are because when a boy wrestles a girl he doesn’t wrestle the way he would against another boy.
  • Why do people think that boys and girls need to do the same things?  Or, if they do the same things, why do they need to do them together or in a competitive way?  Do parents really think that a boy wrestling a girl has no influence on his (or her) thinking?
  • Boys learn lessons from sports that help them later in life professionally in business and in working relationships with other men.   They learn what it means to work as a team.  Women participating with men in contact sports  mess with that camaraderie.
  • I was a tomboy, but I know there are some things we females should and shouldn’t do.  I’m disappointed when I witness situations where people are so absorbed in today’s “accepted” societal practices, but disregard simple things like respect, consideration for others, self-discipline, servitude and so on.  We are caught up in a “I deserve what I want, when I want it” mentality.
  • A reporter commented that Joel Northrup, the Iowa wrestler, was in need of “counseling” because he forfeited a match to a girl.  In reality, young Joel was exhibiting qualities of decency, integrity, and leadership.
  • Whether a person is a Christian or not, nature itself is not in favor of boy-girl wrestling.  The entire purpose of aggressive male sports is defeated when females participate.  Male sports with girls become games.  Games are fine for social events, but not for wrestling (or the military, for that matter).
  • Freedom requires that good men and women will stand up for what is right.  What is right?  It is found in God’s Word.  There is maturity in choosing right over winning worldly recognition.
  • I am reminded of a story.  A man opened the door for a woman behind him.  The woman snarled, “I suppose you are doing this because I am a lady!”  He replied, “No ma’am.  I’m doing this because I am a gentleman.”
  • There is nothing more liberating, right, and helpful to society than identifying and honoring the male and female differences created by God.

There is good sense… on the mat — and with all issues of life.  It comes when we begin to trust the Creator of male and female.

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Please bear with me.  I’m staying with the topic of boys and girls matching up to wrestle because this issue is indicative of a much deeper problem.   The problem roots deeply into the culture at large.

What is the problem?  We have forgotten — or not believed — who we are as male and female.  We have failed to understand and appreciate God’s equal but different creation of male and female.  Failing to appreciate our very identity and the relationships and responsibilities that come from that identity has a profound affect on marriage, family, the workplace, the military, well — in general — the health of civilization.

The younger generation is not to blame for experimenting with behaviors or wanting to break through barriers.  Young people have always wanted to cross boundaries or do something different from their parents.  It’s the older generation I hold responsible.  When fathers, mothers and grandparents forget what God has done and the hard-learned lessons of experience, then we will probably fail to equip (let alone protect) our children.

The culture is deteriorating.  We are falling to a lower standard of behavior.  And, as so-called adults remove natural boundaries and disregard the uniqueness of male and female, our children will suffer the consequences.  But…

I’m an eternally optimistic person.  Nearly every day, I hear from someone who writes or speaks with the logic and sense that can only come from the Creator of male and female.  In my next post, I hope to share the thoughts of some of those daring and clear-headed thinkers.  In the meantime, let me leave you with this:

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths.  Rather train yourself for godliness, for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promises for the present life and also for the life to come . . . ” (1 Timothy 4:7-9).

The young wrestler, Joel Northrup, is an example in speech, conduct, and faith (v. 12) not only for his generation, but for mine.

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