My Grandmother Barhite died when I was 13. I spent a lot of time with her. She was a teacher, listener, encourager, friend, and faithful helper. I learned about the gift of hospitality and service from both my mom and my dad’s mom. Both taught me to serve others rather than self. Sleep-overs with Grandma were more than fun, they were lessons in womanhood, family life and growing in faith. When Grandma died, I lost a mentor.
Or did I? In a box of Grandma’s photos, I discovered one of her girlhood books. It is a keepsake. Often, I quote from it during Titus 2 Retreats. The book was published in 1898 by author Mary Wood-Allen, M.D. Notable women of Dr. Allen’s day recommend the book. They include Mrs. Lillian M.N. Stevens, President of National Woman’s Christian Temperance Union; Mrs. Helen Campbell, Dean of the Department of Household Economics in the Kansas State Agricultural College, and Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, noted Woman Suffragist, Lecturer, and Author. The book is titled What a Young Woman Ought to Know from the “Purity and Truth: Self and Sex Series.” In reading this book, I realize that Grandma is still mentoring me. I also realize that Biblical womanhood (and manhood) has been foundational for the benefit of society for a long, long time.
From time to time, I hope to share a few quotes from my grandma’s book. Consider the Preface:
During a number of years it has been my privilege to be the confidante and counselor of a large number of young women of various stations in life and in all parts of the United States.
Hmmm. I’m not a physician like Dr. Mary Wood-Allen, but I have been privileged to be taken into the confidence of a number of young women both far away and close to home.
These girls have talked freely with me concerning their plans, aspirations, fears and personal problems. It has been a great revelation to me to note with what unanimity they ask certain questions concerning conduct — queries which perhaps might astonish the mothers of these same girls, as they, doubtless, take it for granted that their daughters intuitively understand these fundamental laws of propriety.
Hmmm. Girls have also shared with me their hopes, dreams, and personal problems. They ask many of the same questions about behavior and choices. They express frustration about their identity, their bodies, and relationships. Fewer mothers and grandmothers have tried to pass on ideas of Biblical womanhood so most of these girls have learned about being a woman from the culture.
The truth is that many girls who have been taught in the olgies of the schools, who have been trained in the conventionalities of society, have been left to pick up as they may their ideas upon personal conduct, and, coming face to face with puzzling problems, are at a loss, and perhaps are led into wrong ways of thinking and questionable ways of doing because no one has foreseen their dilemma and warned them how to meet it.
Hmmmm. Today’s young women have been “oligized.” But, far too many have little or no idea about their origin, purpose, or destination. They have been taught how to “feel” but perhaps not how to think.
Life will be safer for the girl who understands her own nature and reverences her womanhood, who realizes her responsibility towards the human race and conducts herself in accordance with that realization . . . Life will be nobler and purer in its possession and its transmission if, from childhood onward to old age, the thoughts has been held that ‘Life is a gift of God and is divine.’
I am an ezerwoman. A helper woman. This is a vocation through which I can help younger women be safer, realize responsibility, and make choices that lead toward hope. This begins with the confidence of identity: I am a creation of God and treasure of Jesus Christ.
Truth in 1898. Truth in 2011. Timeless. Life-changing. Rich with promise.
Ezerwoman's Blog 
Men and Worship
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Vocation, tagged divine worship, feminization of church, holy, masculine, music, opinions, spiritual warfare, worship on December 22, 2010| 2 Comments »
The Barna Research Group reports that American churches are two-thirds female and one-third male. There is strong evidence to support that music may be one explanation. Instead of asking, “What music do people want to hear?,” we should be asking, “What music is appropriate and pleasing to God?”
Men like my pastor, Rev. Paul Beisel; Rev. Todd Wilken (host of Issues, Etc.); author Douglas Bond (Fathers and Sons Stand Fast in the Way of Truth); and author David Murrow (Why Men Hate Going to Church) have articulated what I am discovering to be true. Contemporary worship leans toward the emotions and perceived needs of women and, perhaps, some “sensitive” men. But, what about men who tend to think and act like, well, like men? Do they have to put their masculinity aside in order to “meet Jesus”?
In contemporary worship, women may comfortably sway with the music, close eyes or be “moved” to tears, and show other visible signs of emotion. But, what does God tell us about men? He created male and female to be equal, but different. God did not create man and woman at the same time, in the same way, or for the same purpose. Non-Christian therapists might not phrase it the way I just did (using Genesis), but years ago, I read a helpful secular book entitled Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus in which the author repeatedly illustrated that men and women do not communicate, think, love, feel or respond in the same way. It makes sense, then, that contemporary worship and music might be one reason why our churches are filled with two-thirds women but only one-third men.
Church growth folks say we need to appeal to a contemporary public. This public flocks (like sheep) to loud, energized, and high-tech amusements where celebrities say things that make us “feel good.” Rather than being different, are Christian churches shapeshifting as if to say, “See! We’re as good as the world”? Is it a good idea to imitate “the nations” around us (2 Kings 17:15) in order to be evangelical? I’m aware that I ask this question a lot but, really, does Jesus wrap Himself around the ways of the world?
I have been told by other Christians that any kind of music — loud, rock, rap or polka — can become gospel. But, in his book Stand Fast, Douglas Bond reminds me of two things. In the Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis describes heaven as a region of music and silence. The demon Screwtape is frustrated by this reality: ‘Music and silence — how I detest them both!'” Screwtape, the diabolical demon, boasts: “We will make the whole universe a noise in the end.” Later, Bond writes, “Beware. If entertainment-evangelism advocates can convince you that music is amoral, merely a matter of taste, then the discussion ends — and so does discernment. Wise young men, however, will be suspicious of conclusions that sweep away moral judgment.” He also writes, “. . . [L]oud entertainment music . . . conveys its own message. Certainly it makes people clap and feel exhilarated, but it’s not conducive to careful thinking about the whole counsel of God.”
Some Christians say, “Traditional (liturgical) worship is too difficult,” but, what other important things in life are difficult?
Bond continues, “Though the Bible is clear that Christ is ‘a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense’ (1 Peter 2:8 NKJV, quoting Isaiah 8:14), we’re still afraid to offend the world. The Spirit of God removes the offense only through the objective truths of the Word of God — the very thing that postmodern Christians are watering down in their music. Little wonder, then, that the church looks and sounds and acts like the world — instead of the reverse.”
Until recently I, too, believed I needed a little more contemporary music albeit in a traditional worship environment. But, as a mother of sons and grandmother of grandsons, I’m being re-directed away from my “feelings” to understand what the Divine Service really is and why I need it. Why my family needs it.
So, here’s where I stand. The Creator of male and female gives us not what we want, but what He knows we need. We may want to “feel good” singing love songs to Jesus, but we need to be equipped for battle against powers and principalities. The Psalmist and other great male hymn writers knew this. In his hymn, “A Mighty Fortress,” Luther wrote,
My grandsons are spellbound by the battles between good and evil in C.S. Lewis’ land of Narnia. In this present culture war, my grandsons need the armor for battle — and the songs that inspire them to fight the good fight.
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