Who is our neighbor? In God’s world, our neighbor is more than the person who lives in the house next door. Our neighbor is the stranger in need, the student in our class, our associate at work, our parent or grandparent, and our child. Our neighbor may not think and act the way we do. We may feel awkward with them because our beliefs are polar opposite. But, in God’s world, they are our neighbor.
What are we to do with our neighbor? Jesus says, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). This love is second only to the love we are to have for God.
I am thinking right now of four Christian friends. Each one is the parent of a son or a daughter who has admitted they are in a gay or lesbian relationship. These parents love their children but, with the desire to live under the character and authority of God and His Word in Christ, these parents cannot accept the behavior and lifestyle of their children.
My friends, and others like them, agonize, asking: What can we do? How do we embrace our child but not their behavior? How do we nurture a godly relationship with our child? In fact, how do we even engage in conversation with our child on some kind of common ground?
Glenn T. Stanton, author of the new book Loving My (LGBT) Neighbor, offers six truths that he defines as “mere Christianity.” These points, writes Stanton, “are the great equalizers of humanity, putting us all in the same boat for good and for bad, proclaiming that no one person is better or worse, loved more or less, nor more or less deserving of love than another.” These truths are:
- Everybody is a human person. No exceptions.
- Every human person is of inestimable worth and value, none more than another. No exceptions.
- Everyone is deeply and passionately loved by God. No exceptions.
- Unfortunately, everyone is burdened with a terminal illness: sin. No exceptions.
- All, as children of Adam, are tragically separated from God, but this does not diminish God’s boundless love for us. But it does devastatingly hinder our relationship with Him. All of us, no exceptions.
- Therefore, everyone is in desperate need of repentance, healing and a new life that comes only in surrender and submission to Christ. No exceptions.
Because we live in such a sexualized culture, there is need, I think, to explain what it means to be a “human person.” In this culture, sexuality is “central to being human.” But the Christian parent is called to see their neighbor; indeed, their child, differently. Parents of a son or daughter who struggles with any kind of sexual desire (for the opposite or same sex) will best love that child in light of how God sees them.
To be human means to be male or female created in God’s image. Although fallen from that perfect image (and burdened with the terminal illness called sin), God still wants His people to reflect His holiness. Nowhere in Scripture does God say: be sexual for I the Lord your God am sexual. What He says is this: “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy’” (1Peter 1:14-16). Sexuality is not the central part of being human. Sexual describes feelings, desires, thoughts, and physical intimacy. Because of sexual procreation, life goes on. We have birthdays and anniversaries. But sexuality is not the sum total of who we are as male or female persons.
Here is the evidence. Who we are in this temporal life is who we will be for eternity. If we were fundamentally “sexual,” then this would hold true not just before the resurrection but also after the resurrection. (Otherwise after the resurrection, we would be less than human.) But what does Jesus say? When asked whose wife the widow of seven deceased husbands would be in heaven, Jesus answered, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:29-30). Therefore, being sexual, that is, capable of sexual activity, is not part of what it means to be human after the resurrection. And if it is not part of our divinely-created human identity in the resurrection where everything will be made perfect, then it is not the central part of our divinely-created identity now. In heaven, there will be no act of marriage, no “one flesh” union. So, do we lose our identity in heaven? No! Our true identity will remain intact. We will be as He created us—fully human, but perfect in every way, sons and daughters at the Father’s table. We will still be His treasures in Christ but, at last, able to truly reflect His magnificence.
Our human yet holy identity is the common ground for even the most awkward discussions between one neighbor and another, between parent and child. Failing to see our neighbor or child as God does will ultimately affect the way we fear, love and trust God. It may cause us to love conditionally rather than unconditionally or close doors rather than open them.
It’s true that I am not facing the same challenge as my four friends. If they said to me, “You speak so easily of all this, what can you possible know,” I would have to confess that I know only what Jesus tells us all: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” How we see our neighbor—indeed, our child—matters. It changes the way we approach them, welcome them, speak to them, serve them, and endure with them.
(“Six truths” from “The Odd Couple” by
Glenn T. Stanton in CITIZEN, March 2015.)
Suggested resources:
The Failure of Sex Education in the Church:
Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity by Linda Bartlett (Amazon.com)
and Out of a Far Country by Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan
Ezerwoman's Blog 
Men and Worship
Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Vocation, tagged divine worship, feminization of church, holy, masculine, music, opinions, spiritual warfare, worship on December 22, 2010| 2 Comments »
The Barna Research Group reports that American churches are two-thirds female and one-third male. There is strong evidence to support that music may be one explanation. Instead of asking, “What music do people want to hear?,” we should be asking, “What music is appropriate and pleasing to God?”
Men like my pastor, Rev. Paul Beisel; Rev. Todd Wilken (host of Issues, Etc.); author Douglas Bond (Fathers and Sons Stand Fast in the Way of Truth); and author David Murrow (Why Men Hate Going to Church) have articulated what I am discovering to be true. Contemporary worship leans toward the emotions and perceived needs of women and, perhaps, some “sensitive” men. But, what about men who tend to think and act like, well, like men? Do they have to put their masculinity aside in order to “meet Jesus”?
In contemporary worship, women may comfortably sway with the music, close eyes or be “moved” to tears, and show other visible signs of emotion. But, what does God tell us about men? He created male and female to be equal, but different. God did not create man and woman at the same time, in the same way, or for the same purpose. Non-Christian therapists might not phrase it the way I just did (using Genesis), but years ago, I read a helpful secular book entitled Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus in which the author repeatedly illustrated that men and women do not communicate, think, love, feel or respond in the same way. It makes sense, then, that contemporary worship and music might be one reason why our churches are filled with two-thirds women but only one-third men.
Church growth folks say we need to appeal to a contemporary public. This public flocks (like sheep) to loud, energized, and high-tech amusements where celebrities say things that make us “feel good.” Rather than being different, are Christian churches shapeshifting as if to say, “See! We’re as good as the world”? Is it a good idea to imitate “the nations” around us (2 Kings 17:15) in order to be evangelical? I’m aware that I ask this question a lot but, really, does Jesus wrap Himself around the ways of the world?
I have been told by other Christians that any kind of music — loud, rock, rap or polka — can become gospel. But, in his book Stand Fast, Douglas Bond reminds me of two things. In the Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis describes heaven as a region of music and silence. The demon Screwtape is frustrated by this reality: ‘Music and silence — how I detest them both!'” Screwtape, the diabolical demon, boasts: “We will make the whole universe a noise in the end.” Later, Bond writes, “Beware. If entertainment-evangelism advocates can convince you that music is amoral, merely a matter of taste, then the discussion ends — and so does discernment. Wise young men, however, will be suspicious of conclusions that sweep away moral judgment.” He also writes, “. . . [L]oud entertainment music . . . conveys its own message. Certainly it makes people clap and feel exhilarated, but it’s not conducive to careful thinking about the whole counsel of God.”
Some Christians say, “Traditional (liturgical) worship is too difficult,” but, what other important things in life are difficult?
Bond continues, “Though the Bible is clear that Christ is ‘a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense’ (1 Peter 2:8 NKJV, quoting Isaiah 8:14), we’re still afraid to offend the world. The Spirit of God removes the offense only through the objective truths of the Word of God — the very thing that postmodern Christians are watering down in their music. Little wonder, then, that the church looks and sounds and acts like the world — instead of the reverse.”
Until recently I, too, believed I needed a little more contemporary music albeit in a traditional worship environment. But, as a mother of sons and grandmother of grandsons, I’m being re-directed away from my “feelings” to understand what the Divine Service really is and why I need it. Why my family needs it.
So, here’s where I stand. The Creator of male and female gives us not what we want, but what He knows we need. We may want to “feel good” singing love songs to Jesus, but we need to be equipped for battle against powers and principalities. The Psalmist and other great male hymn writers knew this. In his hymn, “A Mighty Fortress,” Luther wrote,
My grandsons are spellbound by the battles between good and evil in C.S. Lewis’ land of Narnia. In this present culture war, my grandsons need the armor for battle — and the songs that inspire them to fight the good fight.
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