Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Life issues’ Category

What a Young Woman Ought to Know

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , on October 28, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Tonight, as I prepare for a Titus 2 Retreat, I read from my grandmother’s book, What A Young Woman Ought to Know.  The book, by Mary Wood-Allen, M.D., is but one in her Purity and Truth series authored in 1898.  If anyone wants to say to me: Hmm.  That’s quite dated, isn’t it?  I will respond: Truth is never dated.

Dr. Wood-Allen writes:

We seldom think of the fact that upon sex depend all the sweet ties of home and family.  It is because of sex that we are fathers, mothers, and children; that we have the dear family life, with its anniversaries of weddings and birthdays.  It is through sex that the ‘desolate of the earth are set in families,’ and love and generosity have sway instead of selfishness.  For this reason we ought to regard sex with reverent thought, to hold it sacred to the highest purposes, to speak of it ever with purest delicacy, and never with jesting  . . .  .”

Read Full Post »

Silence Not a Virtue

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on October 19, 2011| 6 Comments »

I’m still wondering:  Why did publication of the article, “Child Abuse” (an original post of ezerwoman), bring an angry response from a Christian author on “sexuality?”  Might this response be similar to the response of a woman angered by her pastor’s pro-life sermon?  Pro-life pastors have learned by experience that when they speak God’s Word on abortion, it’s not unusual for a woman to respond in anger because she is either in denial over a past abortion or maintaining a defensive posture.

For many years, I’ve been made aware of certain choices, behaviors, defensive reactions (i.e. “abortion is the lesser of two evils”), and cover-ups within my own church.  Indeed, we are “saints and sinners,” but can we encourage the “saint” without calling to accountability the “sinner”?

Silence is not a virtue, not when virtue itself is being mocked.  Disrobed.  Stolen away.

Why would concerns about protecting virtue and modesty cause anger?  Why would someone take offense when others caution against breaking down naturally protective inhibitions, or putting children in harm’s way with too much information too soon (and then expecting them to “wait”), or raising curiosity about all kinds of “sex,” or borrowing tools and techniques from non-Biblical models, or choosing the word “sex” to describe the subject matter rather than “purity”?   To bring clarity, I’ve been digging out old phone logs, journals, scribbled notes, research papers, and stories from pastors, teachers, parents, and students I’ve met along the journey.  We are in a marriage-breaking, family-fracturing, child-hurting, soul-risking mess.  I wish I could word it better, but simply put: I’ve seen too much on my “watch.”  And…  there is a shameful lack of accountability.

Bearing that in mind, I’m further determined to hold myself accountable.   First to my Savior and, next, to those who put their trust in Him rather than human opinion.  Dealing with sensitive and difficult issues, even finding myself in conflict with well-meaning Christians, requires the good counsel of wisdom.  I make a practice of running my thoughts by my husband because I need his logic and practical sense.  He has a “three day rule.”  Give major decisions or responses three days.  Write the letter.  Make the phone call.  Speak up… but, when possible, only after three days.  In addition to my husband, I seek the counsel of a core group of pastors I’ve come to trust over the years.  I seek the counsel of wise women who properly understand the role of “ezer.”   By surrounding myself with a group of people who have also seen Christians build on the wrong foundation when it comes to “sexuality” — and then witnessed the consequences and mourned with hurting people — I hope to be faithfully encouraged to the highest standard.  The standard of God’s Word.  The Word that exhorts us to “speak up” when wrong things are happening and human lives are at risk.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what a woman told me following a Titus 2 Retreat.  She explained years of childhood sexual abuse that led to promiscuity, abortion, and despair.  She wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what several men and women told me when thirty years of sexual abuse of children by their Christian school principal came to light.  They wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what a young woman told me after being encouraged by Christian parents to date older, more “experienced” men.  When she became pregnant by an “experienced” man, money was handed over for an abortion so that the daughter “wouldn’t have her life ruined.”  She wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what a Christian youth director told me after marrying his Christian sweetheart.  But, because both had learned about sex early and encouraged to be open about their “sexuality,” each had bonded to several others before the youth director and his sweetheart married.  The marriage was troubled for a long, long time.  He wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what an older woman told me who admitted that, for years, she was taught to be comfortable with her body, her “sexuality.”  In boy/girl classrooms, inhibitions were stripped away.  Seeing herself as a “sexual” person, she played the “game.”  When she captured a man’s attention and certain expectations followed, she grieved her loss of innocence.  She wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  In a few short years and close proximity, four pastors within my Christian denomination apparently saw themselves as “sexual persons” with a “need” to act out their “sexuality” rather than as human persons created by God to live as men under Christ’s robe of righteousness.  One openly embraced his homosexuality, left my church body, and became an Episcopalian priest.  Another was charged and arrested for “lascivious acts with a minor and third degree sexual abuse.”  Two more were caught in a prostitution sting, one of them the former pastor of my home congregation.  Is the response to this: “Forgive me!  Love me!  Let’s go on with life”?  Or, do we want the cover-up to stop?

Christians may think they are different from the world when Jesus is wrapped around everything we say and do.  But — you’ve heard me say it many times — Jesus does not wrap Himself around worldly things.  Christians may believe they are helping others toward a brighter future.  But, if they’re using styles and techniques learned from any source other than God’s Word, then the outcome will have undesirable consequences.  God brought to Adam and Eve new emotions of embarrassment and shame with their nakedness and sin.  He covered that embarrassment with clothing and that shame with Jesus’ robe of righteousness.  We must honor that covering, even when a modern sex educator insists: “No need for modesty!  Don’t be embarrassed!  Be comfortable in your glory!”

When we see bad things happening and people being confused, hurt or — most tragic of all — tempted away from the Father God, we cannot be silent.

Silence is not a virtue when virtue is being stolen away.

Read Full Post »

Fickle Feelings

Posted in Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged , , , , on October 5, 2011| 1 Comment »

It happened several times while I was on my recent road trip.  A decision needed to be made.  Take the interstate and make time, or meander the backcountry road and enjoy the scenery.  Stop two hours earlier and “wind down,” or press on to a further destination.  Stay with a friend or relative another night, or reserve a motel room and get some work done on the laptop.   Relying on my feelings left me hanging in mid-air.  One minute, I felt like exploring the aspen groves and kicking my shoes off by a mountain stream.  But, maybe less than an hour later, I felt like I just wanted to be home.

My feelings changed with my moods.  Refreshed and starting a new day with beauty all around me, I felt adventuresome.  Undaunted.  But, as the sun lost its brilliance and slipped beneath the horizon, I felt like settling some place safe and making my “nest.”  Plans for the day made, I felt like engaging.  Plans changed or unsure, I felt like disengaging.

Feelings are fickle.  They cannot be trusted.

Yet, for a long, long time, I’ve been watching a younger generation make life-altering decisions based wholly on feelings.  The sixteen-year-old knocks at the door of our caring pregnancy center.  “He told me he loved me.  Do you think I’m pregnant?”  The phone rings late at night.  “I felt like moving in with him would secure our relationship, but tonight when I shared my concerns with him, he kicked me out.  Will you come get me?”  Years of separation from God haunt the woman.  “In that moment of despair, I felt like an abortion would make things right again.  But, I never again felt good about myself.  Can God ever forgive me?”  The young man’s shoulders slump under the orange prison garb.  “Pride pumped my ego.   Boundaries were for lesser men.   I felt in control, exhilarated by the risk, and confident in the adulation of others… until they slapped on the cuffs.  Now, my family is paying the price.”

What kind of people do we become and what kind of culture do we build when we are ignorant of “right” and “wrong?”  When we are “self”-guided by feelings?

Some time ago, a sociologist from Notre Dame interviewed 230 young people across the U.S.  The sociologist, Christian Smith, asked questions pertaining to morality.  Smith summarized in his book, Lost in Transition, that the results were “disheartening.”   It isn’t that the behavior of young people today is better or worse than my generation.  The problem is a lack of moral reasoning.  When asked about the “moral dilemmas and the meaning of life,” the young people offered Smith “rambling” replies which testified that “they just don’t have the categories or vocabulary” to even engage in moral reflection.  “I don’t really deal with right and wrong that often,” said one young person.  For these 18-23-year-olds, right and wrong is judged by how a particular action made them feel.  As one put it, “I have no other way of knowing what to do but how I internally feel.”

But, asks Chuck Colson, what happens when doing the right thing requires ignoring how you “feel” and, instead, determining actions by an external standard?  In what ways are parents — with the support of the Church — helping the younger generation to think rather than just feel?  There are those who predict that these young people will grow more reflective with age.  But, reflection requires that we have principles and ideals on which to base our reflections.  Young people who are bombarded by messages from the world, deceived by Satan, and influenced by their own fickle feelings and changing opinions will be ill-equipped for ethical decision-making.  Marriage.  Parenting.  Being a good neighbor.

So, what can we do?  There is a practical tool for congregations to use with parents, college students, teachers, and a concerned community.  It’s a DVD series titled Doing the Right Thing featuring a panel of morally academic “thinkers” interacting with an assembly of students.  Panelists include Chuck Colson, Dr. Robert George of Princeton University, and other astute and principled men.  The series is moderated by Brit Hume.  Our son, Jon, purchased the series and our family has viewed it.  We highly recommend it and hope to make use of it in our own congregation and community.  Why don’t you, too?  Doing the Right Thing is available from The Colson Center for Christian Worldview.

Fickle feelings can’t be trusted.  But, doing the right thing — based on a standard outside of ourselves — can.

Read Full Post »

Abortion: A Sacrifice in the Name of Self

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2011| 2 Comments »

Liberal thinkers like to call themselves “progressive.”  They have “evolved” to a higher and more enlightened view and practice of life.  Is this true?

Between the years of 1904 and 1909, archaeological excavations at Gezer (once known as the Canaanite region) revealed the ruins of a temple.  This temple, or “high place” was built to worship Ashtoreth, the “wife” of the idol named Baal.  Great numbers of jars were discovered under the debris of the temple.  These jars contained the remains of children who had been sacrificed to Baal and Ashtoreth.  The whole area (an enclosure 150 feet by 120 feet) proved to be a cemetery for babies.

“Foundation sacrifices” were performed by Israelites who had adapted the ways of the people around them.  When a house was to be built, a child would be sacrificed and his or her body “built” into the wall with the belief that “good luck” would come to the rest of the family.  Many tiny bodies were dug up in Gezer, Megiddo, Jericho, and other sites.

How could a mother lay her child in the arms of Baal, a stone-cold idol who stood above a flaming fire?  How could the father permit it?  Infant sacrifice was practiced by parents seeking a change of circumstances.  A better life.  Prosperity.

Are we more civilized today?  Are we truly more “progressive?”  We have sacrificed 53,310,822 preborn babies in the United States since 1973.  Biology and ultrasound technology remind us that the abortionist is not removing “globs of tissue” but sons and daughters.  These children are sacrificed, not at the temple of Ashtoreth or Baal, but at the temple of Self.

Approximately 95 percent of abortions in the U.S. are not for rape, incest, or the life of the mother, but for convenience.  Mothers and fathers in Canaan sacrificed their children to idols for personal gain or out of fear.  Today’s practice of abortion is really no different.  Mothers and fathers lay their babies in the arms of stone gods named “my choice.”  “My convenience.”  “My best interest.”  One life is sacrificed for another.  “If I have an abortion, I will regain control of my life.”  “If I have this abortion, my future won’t be at risk.”  “Having this abortion is the sacrifice I must make for myself.”

But, God demands no such sacrifice.  He has already paid the ultimate and only necessary sacrifice for a future of hope.  God does not require mothers and fathers to sacrifice their children so that others might live well or fear less.  God made the sacrifice for us.  The Cross of Jesus Christ is the reminder of amazing grace on pitifully desperate people.  The Cross tells us that no one else — not even a “fetus” (Latin: young one) — needs to be sacrificed.

No peace for the soul was found in the temple of Ashtoreth.  No hope for the future was found in the temple of Baal.  Peace and hope elude the mother or  father who bend at the temple of Self.  “The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods” (Psalm 16:4 NIV).  Ashtoreth. Baal.   Self.  All seek to deceive, then forsake.

But, those who trust in the God who calls each child by name will not be deceived.  God’s Word opens eyes and changes hearts and minds.  When fear presses down and momentary evil seems justifiable, God’s Word convicts… then comforts.  God does not forsake those who cry out to Him. He may not answer in the way we want or expect, but He promises His faithfulness in all circumstances.  Apart from God, there is no good thing.

With God, goodness and mercy rise up.  Push back against evil.  Overcome.  When wrong choices of the past made in fear and desperation are confessed and taken to the Cross, they are forgiven. Forgotten.  Covered by Jesus’ robe of righteousness.

I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed . . . The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and delivers them (Psalm 34:4-5, 7 ESV).

Read Full Post »

The Church & Planned Parenthood

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2011| 5 Comments »

Christians have taken up with a man named Alfred Kinsey.  Knowingly or not, we embraced his worldview and adapted it as our own.  We rejected whatever seemed perverted, but quickly wrapped Jesus around whatever appealed to our (sinful) human nature.

Has the church paired with the “Canaanite woman?”   Have little icons of Kinsey’s religion been placed in the house?  Are not we all under the influence?   Have not the heads of two or three generations been turned by a worldview contrary to Christianity?

Kinsey’s worldview promoted the idea of total sexual autonomy even for girls and boys.  His beliefs were shared by Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood.  Together, they determined to free every man, woman, boy, and girl from the restraints of Biblical bondage.  They have accomplished what they set out to do.  It was not difficult.  One phrase — one simple distortion of truth — was repeated over and over: “Children are sexual from birth.”  If indeed “sexual,” then “sexual needs” cry out to be met.  “Sexual rights” must not be denied.  “Sexual expression” must take its “personal course.”

Once deceived, it was not long before fear took root.  “If children are intrinsically sexual beings, they will probably ‘do it;’ therefore, we have to help them ‘do it’ safely.”  No parent wants to see their son or daughter suffer HIV/AIDS or the new “illness” called pregnancy.  PP stood ready to help with a plethora of services including the s0-called “planning of parenthood” or practice of “reproductive choice,” a.k.a. abortion.

Parents — those to whom children are entrusted — doubted Biblical instruction in purity and stepped into the quicksand of sex education.   One worldview was exchanged for another and association with PP was rationalized.  But, Jesus — The Word — does not wrap Himself around opposing worldviews.

Jesus — The Word (John 1) — does not say that children are “sexual from birth.”  He says that children are knit together by God in the wombs of their mothers as human beings of the male or female sex.   He says that dads and moms are to guard the innocence of boys and girls, equal but different, as they also mentor Biblical manhood and womanhood.  Good parents do not rev up their son’s engine nor encourage their daughter’s provocative dress.  Good parents, according to the Christian worldview, instructs sons and daughters in patience.  Purity.  Wisdom.

Stealing away — child by child — from the Biblical worldview is the institutional monolith created by the Kinseyites and Sangerites.  Can we be so foolish as to not learn from history?  Just as the Canaanites had their way with the Israelites, do these modern “ites” have their way with us?  Does the modern church think itself beyond temptation? Can Christian parents — in any way — defend the work of PP?

Some Americans are calling for a full-scale Congressional investigation of PP.  In recent years,  PP clinics have been caught placing girls and young women at further risk.  PP employees have assisted pimps and sex traffickers, misled girls and women about the dangers of abortion, refused to comply with parental-notification laws, and misused millions of taxpayer dollars.  Evidence reveals PP’s failure to report child sex abuse.  Instead, PP clinics have been caught advising under-age girls and those who exploit them on how to circumvent mandatory reporting laws on rape and abuse.

PP needs to be investigated.  But, at the same time, Christians should be calling for full-scale investigations of their church’s educational sources, teaching, and practices.

We should clear our houses of Canaanite icons.

As people of God’s Word — both Old and New Testament — we should repent of our failures to guard the innocence of the little ones He calls by name.

We should contrast the Biblical worldview with all others.

Then, remembering that we have forgiveness in Jesus Christ, we can leave wrong ways behind.  Resist temptation and doubt.  Push back against ungodly-ites.  Restore and rebuild.

Early Christians knew they should stand in protection of their children.  That is why they instructed sons and daughters in patience.  Purity.  Wisdom.  That is why they encouraged modesty of dress and behavior.  That is why they taught that God’s Word can be trusted.

Modern Christians are compelled to do the same.

Read Full Post »

Down From the Lighthouse

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , on September 2, 2011| Leave a Comment »

When I was a little girl, my parents took my brother and me to Split Rock Lighthouse on the North Shore of Lake Superior.  We returned for numerous visits.  I was fascinated with the lighthouse.  What fun, I thought, to be the daughter of the lighthouse-keeper!

Re-visiting the Lighthouse as an adult, I recognized the lighthouse-keeper’s job was a lonely one.  Daily structured.  Difficult in the midst of storms.   The duty of the lighthouse-keeper, after all, was to keep the light shining no matter what.  Wicks needed to be trimmed.  Plenty of oil on hand.  All equipment needed to be in working order so that nothing prevented the light from shining when fog quickly rolled in or darkness overwhelmed the shoreline.

There was another duty.  From time to time, the lighthouse-keeper was called down from his lofty place high on the hill to the rocky shore below where hurting lives lay ship-wrecked and in trouble.

Such is our duty, too.  We are called to shine our lights high on the hill to help everyone see.  The light of God’s Word flowing through us warns others of danger and shows the way of hope and salvation.  But, when someone is hurting because he or she has come upon hard times, suffering and pain, God’s Word compels us to step down from the hill to offer comfort and care.   To help carry the burden.  God’s love flows through our servant hands.

My friend’s mom, Gladys, came down from her lighthouse countless times to serve the needs of others.  Now, it is is the turn of her children and grandchildren to serve.  To show their respect.  To practice caring.  To model what Gladys taught them.  I know.  I know.  Gladys would much rather go to the mansion God has prepared for her, but not yet.  Not until God’s work in and through her is done.  For now, she can trust that God is doing a work through her for others.  She can trust that He is speaking to her about important matters of eternal significance.  Then, as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane, she can know that God’s will is being accomplished.

Things for Gladys seem upside down.   Storms have carried her wrecked and helpless body onto the rocky shore.  But, the light in Gladys is still shining.  The oil of God’s Word has so filled Gladys that, even as a very sick patient, her light inspires others to kindness.  Patience.  A servant’s love.

Read Full Post »

Of Life and Death

Posted in Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, tagged , , , , , , on August 30, 2011| 1 Comment »

Elizabeth Skoglund and I have met only once.  But, our friendship grew by way of phone conversations over a period of years.  Elizabeth is the author of over twenty books.  One of them caught my eye in a bookstore when I was researching end-of-life issues.  That book, Life on the Line, proved to be powerfully helpful to me.  Elizabeth and I share the same worldview on life issues, but her experience as a counselor in private practice and as a gifted researcher and writer equipped me to be a better defender of the sanctity of human life.

Life on the Line was so helpful to me that I wanted others to be encouraged by her, too.  I invited Elizabeth to be a workshop presenter at one of our Lutherans For Life conferences.  Illness prevented her from coming, but some time later, I asked Elizabeth if she would author a short handbook on decision-making at the end of life to be published by Lutherans For Life.  She did.  The book is titled Before I Die.  I highly recommend both Life on the Line and Before I Die in this time of technological advances, shifting standards, and babel of confusing and often contradictory voices.

Elizabeth notes that volumes could be written on all the “what-ifs” of medical technology.  “But,” she writes, “we are on much safer ground if we follow certain general Biblical principles . . . whether or not we like them.  If we do not, we are in desperate danger of trying to become gods and making our own rules based on what we feel and what we want at any given time.”

Those Biblical principles, writes Elizabeth, “can be summarized in three phrases: the sanctity of human life; the sovereignty of God, including His timing in matters of life and death; and the goodness of God, who will not fail to do right.”

Elizabeth explains that questions like “What would Aunt Sally want?” are not designed to find out the will of God in bioethics.  They merely express what we want or feel.  The Christian believer does better to ask, “What is the will of God?”

There are gray areas in times of decision-making.  Use of the respirator, for example, is troubling for many of us.  The respirator is uncomfortable.  It’s use is controversial among doctors.  Elizabeth admits that being on a respirator is one of her own great personal fears.  She expresses sympathy for those who let it be known that under no conditions do they wish to be put on a respirator.

But, writes Elizabeth, if a respirator can be a bridge back to life, she believes we have an obligation to try to live.  On the other hand, if the respirator is used when death is inevitable, simply to slow down the dying process, then it is wrongfully keeping a person from being released to be with God.

I haven’t spoken with Elizabeth for some time.  A good visit is long overdue.  In these times, we need to challenge one another to think.  To encourage one another to trust our Creator God and Savior Jesus Christ.  To work where we’ve been placed in helping others respect the dignity of human life — that of the preborn and that of a loved one nearing their death.

Our last moments on earth are important ones.  For some, it is a time of decision.  For others, it is a time of transition from this life to the next.  It is a valuable time for the family who gathers at the bedside of one who is so close to going home.  Elizabeth quotes John White (Decision, May 1989):

“In life we are on a stage.  Angels and demons watch as we enact the drama of our earthly existence, and it is important that the scene close properly.  Christ has shown us how the lines should be uttered, as a cry of joyful triumph: “Father, into Thy hands I commit my spirit!”  (Luke 23:46 RSV).  We will only die once and will therefore have only one chance to die properly.  We must learn our lines well beforehand so that the curtains fall on a note of triumph.”

Read Full Post »

Comfort in Storms of Life

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 28, 2011| Leave a Comment »

When disaster strikes, when health fails, when confusion seems to reign, when the earthly things I cling to fall away — I am left in awe and wonder by God’s Word to Job.

Job had everything taken from him.  Wife.  Children.  Home.  Possessions.  Job longed for days gone by.  For days when his life was good.  When he was blessed.  Having lost everything, Job was in misery.  Terrors overwhelmed him.  His days were marked by suffering.

Why?  For what purpose?  Was Job now abandoned?  Cast aside?  A righteous man cut off?

Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm, saying,

Who is this that darkens My counsel with words without knowledge?  Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer Me.  Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?  Tell me, if you understand.  Who marked off its dimensions?  Surely you know!  Who stretched a measuring line across it?  On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone — while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?  Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?  Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?

Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades?  Can you loose the cords of Orion?  Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs?

Do you send the lightening bolts on their way?  Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?

Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?  Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?

Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane?

Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom and spread his wings toward the south?  Does the eagle soar at your command and build his nest on high?

Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?”

And so, at the end of a tough day — when I am weary or disappointed, weak or doubting — I remember the Creator’s Words to Job.  They are His Words to me as well.

They are my comfort in the storms of life.

Read Full Post »

In Times of Suffering

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, tagged , , , , , , , on August 26, 2011| 4 Comments »

It’s possible that very soon my friend, Gladys, will be called home.  Poison in her system cannot be contained.  Her kidneys are shutting down.  Her lungs are weary.  She is in pain.  My friend is impatient to go home, yet — a faithful servant of God to the end — she does not ask anyone to send her before her time.

What Gladys does ask is that she be kept as pain-free as possible.  In an article I wrote years ago, I quoted Dr. Matthew Conolly.  He acknowledged that the greatest fear of most patients — and, thus, the reason that “mercy killing” or euthanasia grows ever popular — is pain.  Too many physicians believe their most important role is to heal or cure.  When they cannot, the patient may become a reminder of the doctor’s “failure.”  At such times, some physicians abandon the patient.  What they could do, as Dr. Conolly pointed out, is learn the art of caring for the patient even when the prognosis is not good.  What they could do is to learn the art of pain control.  Appropriate pain control does not hasten death, but brings dignity to both patient and family.

Today, my friend’s daughter — my dear friend, Rita — is talking to the hospital chaplain and hospice care workers.  Rita does not want to decide when her mother should die.  That is up to God.  But, she does want to do all she can to keep her mother comfortable.

I am reminded of a story I’ve shared when speaking about end-of-life issues.  A pastor’s wife, in her battle against cancer, was undergoing extensive treatment.  She was placed on a rubber cooling blanket to keep her temperature down.  It was very uncomfortable.  “I don’t know if I can stand this,” she told her husband.  “If you cannot,” he told her, “tell the nurses you want to discontinue this treatment.”  Then, anxious and exhausted, he left to get a few hours sleep.  When he returned, he was greeted by a nurse.  “Boy, does you wife have something to tell you.”  The pastor rushed in to his wife’s room where he found her smiling.  “What happened?” he asked.  “It was wonderful,” she said.  Sometime after you left, I could bear it no more.  I prayed that God lift me from this suffering.  And, you know what?  Angels appeared.  I felt warm; snug as a bug.  I slept.”

Does God know our pain?  Does He hear us when we ask for comfort?  For strength to endure?  For courage?  Think about Jesus as He was preparing to take on the sins of the world.  On the night He was betrayed, He took His disciples with Him to the garden.  He told them, “Do not fall into temptation, but pray.”  Then He went off by Himself.  He was in anguish.  His sweat was like drops of blood.  “Father,” He prayed, “if You are willing, take this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”  Do you know what happened?  An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him.  (Luke 22:39-43)

When our physicians cannot heal, may we encourage them to comfort.  To seek better pain control.

And, when we feel that we are falling into temptation — ready to ask someone to end our life and send us on our way home — may we, instead, call upon the Great Physician.  The One who knows pain.  Who carried sorrow.  Who endured every whip and lash for our benefit.  If God heard the plea of His own dear Son, Jesus Christ, and sent an angel to strengthen Him, won’t He also hear us?  Won’t He give us exactly what we need, when we need it, until His work through us is done?

Read Full Post »

What Is the Price of One Life?

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2011| 2 Comments »

My friend, Rita, is sitting at the bedside of her mother.  It has been Rita’s great joy and blessing to have Gladys as her mom.  Now, as mother battles life-threatening infection, daughter wants to serve as she’s been served.  She is doing that by faithfully remaining at her mom’s side… reading to her, praying with her, and re-counting treasured memories.

It is at such times, however, that even the most faithful believers ask, “God, where are You?  Why do you allow our loved one to endure this?”  Gladys has lived a full and good life.  “She has been faithful, Lord.  Isn’t her work done?  Dear Jesus, why don’t You just take her home with you?”

Our family asked similar questions not long ago when my father-in-law battled bacterial brain infection.  We were given opportunity to hang on to and put into practice every pro-life conviction on which we stand.  For years, I had been speaking to others about the value of one life — the life in the womb and the life in a hospital bed.  So, I had to ask myself, what value was I going to put on the life of my husband’s father?  After all, he was 80 years old.  (Gladys is 91.)  His life was blessed.  Full.  Active.  He knew Jesus as His Savior and I knew my father-in-law, Max, would be taken to heaven when he died.  I knew I would forever appreciate the wisdom he had shared and the lessons he had taught.

I remember days and nights when Max, almost catatonic, could only thrash fitfully in bed.  I remember spoon-feeding him and begging him to swallow before a feeding tube was inserted.  Without really meaning to, Max pulled it out three times.  Three antibiotics were flowing into his bloodstream by IV.  No one knew for sure what the side-effects of those toxic chemicals might be.  So, when the brain surgeon said there was no more she could do, and the infectious disease team told us the odds of beating this infection were not good, and the social worker encouraged us to “take your dad home to hospice,” we could have said, “It has been a good fight.  We did all we could.”

But, God wasn’t through with Max — and He wasn’t through with me or my family either.  There were so many more lessons yet to be taught and learned.  From a bed not of his choosing, Max challenged his family to make words real in deed.  Not by accident he became my teacher, model, and witness.  My journal is filled with lessons taught by a man who was ready to meet Jesus; yet so desperately clung to the life he loved.  Here are a few of those lessons:

SERVICE: How can we make a difference when we are helpless?  Max had always been a hard worker.  His hands tilled the soil and planted the seed.  But God does not need our hands or anything else we have to offer.  His work is accomplished in spite of us.  God said to Max Bartlett, “My power is made perfect in your weakness.”  This power was witnessed by family, friends, and the medical community.

DETERMINATION: Although we were willing to let Max be with Jesus, we weren’t ready to give up.  Nor was a man named Ravi Vemuri, a physician who seemed to have developed a personal interest in Max and his ever-present family.  Dr. Vemuri, a practicing Hindu, loved life too, and he had one more antibiotic to try.  In addition, perhaps moved by our involvement, he granted our request to compliment his chemical approach with nutritional supplements.  The determination of doctor, family, and the patient Max was not lost on those who watched.

CONTROL: Desiring some kind of control, I wanted to work with a plan.  On the days when we nearly lost Max, I planned for death.  On the days when he rallied, I planned for life.  But, through Max Bartlett, God showed me that He has a plan not like my own.  He asked me only to trust.

INCONVENIENCE: If asked how I would handle sometimes 15-hour days in a hospital room and shared sleeping quarters with assorted family members, I’m not sure how I would have responded.  But God did not ask me how I felt about such things.  Through Max, He simply asked me to be faithful.

SELF: During my first long stay at the hospital, my thoughts turned to self.  Does anyone appreciate what I am doing or realize what I’m giving up?  In a private moment I will never forget, God used the patient, Max, to help the caregiver, Linda, adjust her attitude.

WORSHIP: One evening, alone with my father-in-law, I asked, “Sometimes, when you appear to be sleeping, you are really talking to God, aren’t you Max?”  Squeezing my hand even tighter, he simply said, “Yes, you know, don’t you?”  What soul work was being done.  A frightening brush with death brought a humble man of God named Max Bartlett into an even closer relationship with His Heavenly Father.

So, what is the price of one life?  Is it the price of helplessness or suffering?  Is it the price of sleepless nights and frightening days?  Is it the price of inconvenience?

The price of one life is what God puts on it.  He planned that life.  He knit that life together in the secret place of a mother’s womb.  He promised to be with that life whether dependent on bottle-feeding or tube feeding.  He loves that life.  The greatness of that love is evidenced by the Cross on which His own dear Son, Jesus Christ, was sacrificed for one life — yours, mine, a preborn child, Max, and Gladys.

God wants us to love one life, too.  He wants us to protect one life and speak up for one life.  Early in my pro-life ministry days, I predicted that the generation that ushered in abortion would be ushered out by euthanasia.  This culture has been shaped to value human life only if it is wanted.  Convenient.  Not a threat to our own.  But, the value God places on the life He creates and redeems is priceless.  God wants us to be an advocate for each life.  To leave ourselves open and willing to learn every lesson taught by the “least of these.”  To trust.

If God gives us one life to love, He will also give us what we need — for as long as we need it — to care for that life.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »