Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Life issues’ Category

Off the Mat & Away From Foolishness

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2011| 1 Comment »

It’s time to move off the mat… and away from foolishness.

It is folly to believe that “equal” means “being the same.”  Male and female have always — and will always — be different.

Boys and girls in their early childhood may be somewhat alike in their inclinations.  They may both enjoy running, climbing, and playing.  But, boys transitioning into men and girls transitioning into women are not the same.  Both may be restless and willful, but what is happening to their bodies, in their heads, and with their hormones is quite different.  On his journey to manhood, there comes a time when a boy no longer views girls in the same way he views his mom or sister.  At such a time, he is in need of his dad’s wise counsel and his mom’s understanding encouragement.

A girl transitioning into a woman experiences physical changes, some that she can see… and many she cannot.  What is happening inside of her is, unfortunately, the least understood or protected.   Her procreative organs are affecting her physically and emotionally, yet she is probably more educated on how to be “sexy” than she is about being a woman.  She is probably more thoroughly groomed to compete with men than be in awe and respect of her own femininity.

Shame on modern sex education for teaching boys and girls everything there is to know about the act of sex and hardly anything at all about what it means to be of the male or female sex (gender).  And shame on us all — every parent, grandparent or mentor — who steps aside to let Victoria Secret, Abercrombie & Fitch, or Planned Parenthood teach their distorted view to boys and girls on a perilous journey to mature femininity and masculinity.

The male and female bodies have not changed since my grandmother’s book, What a Young Girl Ought to Know was written by Dr. Mary Wood-Allen in 1898.  Dr. Allen wrote, “We are sometimes apt to think that sex is located in certain organs only, but in truth sex, while centralized in the reproductive organs, makes itself manifest throughout the whole organization . . .[T]he brain of one sex is neither inferior or superior to the other; nevertheless, men and women see things from different standpoints.”

I’m the wife of a man and the mother and grandmother of boys.  No one will ever convince me that male and female are the same.  I also know that God created only two genders: male and female.  They are equal, but different.  Those who want to blur the lines between the two or, oddly, add more genders, only lead the younger generation on a dangerous detour off the good path of life.

I, for one, care about a healthy civilization.  So I will continue to appreciate the differences between male and female.  It is both foolish and dangerous to treat boys and girls as if they are the same.

Read Full Post »

Good Sense on the Mat

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

The debate over boys and girls in contact sports continues.  With ears open, I hear good sense and hope for civilization in the comments of both men and women.  Here, as I promised, are some of those comments —

  • As a former high school wrestling coach, I see it this way.  If we are teaching young men to be pure until marriage, then wrestling a teenage girl (woman) is not appropriate or helpful.  Many wrestling holds require close contact with the opponent’s crotch or hips close together.  Tight holds across the chest or laying chest to chest are common.  If done in a high school hallway, it is considered groping, even if consensual.  If done without consent, it is sexual assault.  Putting on a pair of wrestling shoes doesn’t eradicate the moral overtones of the situation.
  • I know a girl wrestler who is well-endowed.  The boys enjoyed wrestling her.  She admitted that she liked the attention and ended up sleeping with a few of the boys.  In the name of equality, the system actually “used her” and made her more vulnerable.
  • My experience as an athletic trainer brings me to this: Outsiders looking in can say, “Boys!  Turn off your hormones,” or “You just don’t want to get beat by a girl!”  But, the fact is, boys are put in a very uncomfortable position when matched in a contact sport with a girl.  Also, girls are led to think they’re better than they really (physically) are because when a boy wrestles a girl he doesn’t wrestle the way he would against another boy.
  • Why do people think that boys and girls need to do the same things?  Or, if they do the same things, why do they need to do them together or in a competitive way?  Do parents really think that a boy wrestling a girl has no influence on his (or her) thinking?
  • Boys learn lessons from sports that help them later in life professionally in business and in working relationships with other men.   They learn what it means to work as a team.  Women participating with men in contact sports  mess with that camaraderie.
  • I was a tomboy, but I know there are some things we females should and shouldn’t do.  I’m disappointed when I witness situations where people are so absorbed in today’s “accepted” societal practices, but disregard simple things like respect, consideration for others, self-discipline, servitude and so on.  We are caught up in a “I deserve what I want, when I want it” mentality.
  • A reporter commented that Joel Northrup, the Iowa wrestler, was in need of “counseling” because he forfeited a match to a girl.  In reality, young Joel was exhibiting qualities of decency, integrity, and leadership.
  • Whether a person is a Christian or not, nature itself is not in favor of boy-girl wrestling.  The entire purpose of aggressive male sports is defeated when females participate.  Male sports with girls become games.  Games are fine for social events, but not for wrestling (or the military, for that matter).
  • Freedom requires that good men and women will stand up for what is right.  What is right?  It is found in God’s Word.  There is maturity in choosing right over winning worldly recognition.
  • I am reminded of a story.  A man opened the door for a woman behind him.  The woman snarled, “I suppose you are doing this because I am a lady!”  He replied, “No ma’am.  I’m doing this because I am a gentleman.”
  • There is nothing more liberating, right, and helpful to society than identifying and honoring the male and female differences created by God.

There is good sense… on the mat — and with all issues of life.  It comes when we begin to trust the Creator of male and female.

Read Full Post »

Back on the Mat

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Please bear with me.  I’m staying with the topic of boys and girls matching up to wrestle because this issue is indicative of a much deeper problem.   The problem roots deeply into the culture at large.

What is the problem?  We have forgotten — or not believed — who we are as male and female.  We have failed to understand and appreciate God’s equal but different creation of male and female.  Failing to appreciate our very identity and the relationships and responsibilities that come from that identity has a profound affect on marriage, family, the workplace, the military, well — in general — the health of civilization.

The younger generation is not to blame for experimenting with behaviors or wanting to break through barriers.  Young people have always wanted to cross boundaries or do something different from their parents.  It’s the older generation I hold responsible.  When fathers, mothers and grandparents forget what God has done and the hard-learned lessons of experience, then we will probably fail to equip (let alone protect) our children.

The culture is deteriorating.  We are falling to a lower standard of behavior.  And, as so-called adults remove natural boundaries and disregard the uniqueness of male and female, our children will suffer the consequences.  But…

I’m an eternally optimistic person.  Nearly every day, I hear from someone who writes or speaks with the logic and sense that can only come from the Creator of male and female.  In my next post, I hope to share the thoughts of some of those daring and clear-headed thinkers.  In the meantime, let me leave you with this:

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths.  Rather train yourself for godliness, for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promises for the present life and also for the life to come . . . ” (1 Timothy 4:7-9).

The young wrestler, Joel Northrup, is an example in speech, conduct, and faith (v. 12) not only for his generation, but for mine.

Read Full Post »

Males & Females on the Mat

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , on February 26, 2011| 1 Comment »

In Titus 2 Retreats, we consider God’s Word as it applies to current issues that affect modern women.  One of the issues that can stir a little debate is athletic competition between boys and girls.

A few days ago, I commended Joel Northrup of Iowa, the young gentleman who forfeited his match rather than wrestle a girl.  Jim Daley of Focus on the Family also posted a blog.  He received dozens of responses.  One of them is from a mother.  It may serve as an example of how our thinking has been more influenced by the world than by God’s Word.  The mother’s comments are in italics.  My questions — to perhaps help us all think — are in parenthesis.

The mother wrote, “My daughter loves to wrestle.  She is the only girl in a family of three brothers and is very much a tomboy.  Don’t get me wrong, she is totally female and knows how to be and act like a lady. (Q: How does a “lady” act?  Will she knowingly place a gentleman in a position that compromises his convictions?)  She knows how to be rough with boys and take it, knowing full well they can hurt her.” (Q: Does she want to put boys in a position where they can hurt her?  Is it ever o.k. for boys or men to “hurt” girls or women?)

The mother continues, “My daughter wanted to wrestle.  There are no all-girl wrestling teams in our area so she had to join the boys’ team.  The only boy who would even practice with her was a boy that had been part of our family since she was born. (Q: Is there a message from the boys in their reluctance to even practice wrestling with a girl?  How is a Christian boy or young man taught to treat a girl or woman?) 

The mother concluded, “My daughter gave up something she loved because the boys wouldn’t wrestle her.  Is she supposed to refrain from something because it’s a ‘boy’s sport'”? (Q: Isn’t the Christian often called to “give up” something we love because it might be wrong or harmful to others?  Aren’t we called to “refrain from something” that might cause another to lower their standard of behavior or be tempted to sin?)

What, after all, does this mean:

. . . Decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother (Romans 14:13b).

Read Full Post »

Speaking of Abortion

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

God gave humans great potential.  From the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, God had plans for His creation.  People were to have a perfect and loving relationship with God.  This would allow them to experience harmonious relationships with all other human beings.  But, sin destroyed perfection.

When Satan tempted Eve, he raised a question.  “Did God really say . . .” (Genesis 3:1).  He subtly turned Eve’s thinking, causing her to think that, perhaps, God was holding something back from her.  Adam and Eve rebelled against God, elevating themselves and their desires to compete with God.  Left to themselves, man and woman would have been forever alienated from God because of sin.  But, God didn’t give up on His beloved creation.  He provided the way back to Himself through His Son Jesus Christ.

Today, satan speaks through many disguises.

  • Satan hisses, “Did God really say that He created us in our mother’s womb?”  But, God assures us (Psalm 139:13-16).
  • Satan taunts, “Did God really say that He knew us even before we were born?”  But, God assures us (Jeremiah 1:5).
  • Satan tempts, “Did God really say that taking your child’s life is murder?”  But, God assures us (Deuteronomy 5:17).
  • Satan dares, “Did God really say that a woman doesn’t have a right to make decisions concerning her own body?”  But, God assures us (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
  • Satan sneers, “Isn’t your God a compassionate God?  Did He really say you should bear the burden of a child for the rest of your life because of one night’s passion?”  But, God assures us (Philippians 4:13)

Satan tempted the first man and woman to sin, but he wasn’t alone in bearing the responsibility for that sin.  Still today, he actively tries to seduce and persuade us with his temptation and accusation, but we can’t honestly pass our decisions off onto him.  Within each of us is a conflict of desires.  Galatians 5:15-21 explains the results of living by the desires of our sinful flesh.

Rev. Ed Fehskens, a trusted friend and pastor, writes, “A compassionate church will speak clearly and without compromise against the sin of abortion, cutting through the rationalizations that people use to convince themselves it was the right — and only — thing to do, considering the circumstances.  For the love of souls, we must also say that beyond the emotional and physical damage, abortion, like any sin, causes grievous spiritual harm.  Unrepentant sin places us in danger of losing our salvation — the greatest tragedy of all.”

Here’s the Good News!  Trusting in Christ and looking to His Word for life, we are moved to thoughts and actions that serve and honor God.  And, after repenting of our sin — no matter what that sin might be — we are received into the arms of our Father God because of what Jesus has already done for us on the Cross.  We are forgiven!  We are new!  We can start over!  (Psalm 32:3-5; John 8:10-11; Peter 1:3; 1 John 1:9)

Read Full Post »

The Throne of Grace

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2011| 2 Comments »

The woman carries a burden.  It is the guilt and grief of an abortion.

The deceiver of her soul never leaves her alone.  “Can God ever forgive you?”   “Choice” is building a wall between her and God.  Wouldn’t it be easier to sleep in on Sunday mornings?

Her conscience is stirred.  She remembers that, as a little girl, she attended worship with her parents.  She didn’t really understand the service.  The hymns seemed old and the pews hard.  But, there was a sense of order and peace.  Even her little girl heart identified with that.

So, one Sunday morning, the woman returned to the place of her childhood.  The place of order and peace.  Perhaps her burden made her more sensitive, but something had changed.  Instead of quiet reverence, there was noise and distraction. 

She intentionally chose the more contemporary service.  Even so, there was humility in her manner because she believed she was entering the House of the Lord.   The flurry of activity startled her.  Posters, banners, blinking lights, a latte station, people handing out brochures, and a praise band overpowered her senses.  Making her way to a back pew, she bowed her head.  She wanted to sort out her thoughts.  To pray.  But, all around her people in conversation competed with the vocalists and band.  Her mind wandered away from her prayer.

The woman remembered holding her hymnal when she was a girl.  But, now all the words were on a power point screen.  She couldn’t page through the Psalms or read God’s Word in the hymns.   She couldn’t turn to the page of confession and absolution.  The service moved so quickly.  Along with the others, she was praising her Lord, but what was He doing for her?

The pastor was dynamic.  Charismatic.  He looked almost like everyone else in the room.  She couldn’t help but wonder: How would he receive her?  He spoke about Jesus and mercy and grace, but did she miss the part about why she needed such mercy and grace?

She approached the Lord’s Table with hunger, but was not allowed to kneel, pause before the Cross, and ponder on what she was receiving.   The line of people moved quickly by the pastors and several elders.  She noticed some people looking at their watches.  Perhaps it was her imagination, but the band seemed louder.  Still, it didn’t drown out her pounding heart.  The anxiety.  What am I doing, she asked herself.  Why am I here?

Back in her pew, she again bowed her head.  But, there was no silence.  The praising continued.  The congregation was singing about a great God, a loving God.  But, where was He?  All of the people around her were doing something for Him, but what was He doing for them?  For her?

She had come to His sanctuary, but felt herself in an auditorium.  Sight and sound teased her emotions, but she always felt that way after a trip to the mall, too.

She had come to leave her burden before the Throne of Grace, be received as His daughter, and be equipped for her daily battle with the deceiver of her soul.  But, everyone was so busy taking their hour to praise the Lord.  Perhaps the Lord was receiving her as His daughter, but her head was turned away.  Her eyes were focused elsewhere.

She left with her burden in tow.  She hadn’t really felt like praising God, but wanted Him do something for her.  She wondered, did He give to her and all the others what they needed to engage in daily spiritual warfare?  Or, had they given Him some of their time before scurrying back to real life?

Does this woman sit in your midst?  Does your congregation’s choice of worship direct such a woman to the Cross, or distract her away?  Is she allowed to “be still and know that I am God,” or is she overwhelmed by the choreography of human hand?

Just pondering on the journey…

Read Full Post »

Red Letters

Posted in Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, tagged , , , , , , on February 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Red letters in the New Testament help me see and “hear” what Jesus spoke to the people of His day and to me.

But, red letters in the New Testament have tempted many well-meaning Christians to limit Jesus’ words.  Jesus is the Word of Life.  He is the Way, the Truth, and the Light throughout all of Scripture.  He is the Word made flesh.  He is the Creator who spoke life into existence and then came to live with His creation.  Every word in both Old and New Testament is the Word of God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Jesus’ words printed in red letters are helpful for the reader.  But, when we are tempted to believe those are the only words of Jesus we Christians become more vulnerable.  At such times, we more easily compromise with the world.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14).  All of Scripture is the word of Truth, Jesus Christ, given for our use in all circumstances.

Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse!  The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and . . . He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which He is called is The Word of God.”

(Revelation 19:11-13)

Read Full Post »

Marisol & Deborah Pose a Question

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Marisol Valles Garcia is a 20-year-old mother of one child.  In November of 2010, she became the police chief of Praxedis G. Geurrero, a small town near Ciudad Juarez which is Mexico’s most violent city.  Marisol is a criminology student who says she loves the town of Guerrero where she’s lived for ten years.  She was offered the chief’s job a year after her predecessor was murdered.  This quiet farming community has turned into a “lawless no man’s land” into which, it appears, no man is willing to step.

Two rival gangs, Juarez and Sinaloa drug cartels, battle for control of a drug trafficking route along the Texas border.  Marisol, described as tiny but energetic, finds herself in the midst of this war.  She says she plans to hire more women, but “will leave most of the decisions about weapons and tactics to the town mayor, Jose Luis Guerrero.”  Marisol has two body guards, but chooses not to carry a gun of her own.

About the same time Marisol took the job of police chief in her Mexican border town, another woman “top cop” was murdered.  The CNN report on her death read, “One of a small number of women who have filled a void by becoming police chiefs in violence-torn Mexico was gunned down” in November 2010.  Hermila Garcia, 38, was not a mother.  She was a lawyer and willing to serve the people of Meoqui.  “Was she courageous or foolhardy?” asked CNN.

Several reports on these two women read the same.  The situation in the Juarez Valley along the Mexico and U.S. border has become so desperate that women are filling the void.

I am reminded of Deborah.  She was a prophetess and judge filling a void during a desperate time in Israel’s history.  She sent for Barak, the son of Abinoam, and said to him, “Has not the Lord, the God of Israel, commanded you, ‘Go, gather your men at Mount Tabor . . . and I will draw out Sisera, the general of Jabin’s army, to meet you by the river Kishon with his chariots and his troops, and I will give him into your hand’?”  But, Barak replied, “If you will go with me, I will go, but if you will not go with me, I will not go.”  (Judges 4:4-16)

Deborah said, “I will surely go with you.  Nevertheless, the road on which you are going will not lead to your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.”  Deborah went with Barak, but only as far as Mount Tabor.  She did not go down into battle.  She fulfilled her role by encouraging Barak and his troops with the words and promises of God.  The woman into whose hand the enemy general, Sisera, was “delivered” was Jael.  When Sisera was being pursued by the Israelite army, he fled to the tent of Jael.  Jael, the wife of Heber, killed the enemy general not with a sword or military weapon, but with a tent peg which was a common household item.  (Judges 4:17-22).

Marisol is a mother living in the midst of a Mexican drug corridor.  In a desperate situation, with no men stepping forward, Marisol is filling a void.  In doing that, she is a target for enemy fire.  No biological children of Deborah are mentioned in the passages from  Judges.  However, in a desperate situation with no men stepping forward, Deborah filled a void.  In filling that void, she did not position herself as a target for enemy fire but, instead, played a motherly role by encouraging and strengthening her people.

The question posed by Marisol and Deborah is this: When the enemy threatens a family or nation, a woman can step up to face him, but should she?

A long time ago, life in another quiet farming community was threatened.  Eve was tempted to engage the enemy.  Adam did nothing.  God’s order for His beloved creation was ignored.  What were the consequences?

Read Full Post »

Choices Affect Our Attitude Toward God

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , on February 9, 2011| 2 Comments »

Here are more pearls from my grandmother’s book.  (Once again, truth has a way of deflating the progressive thinker’s much inflated balloon.)

In What a Young Woman Ought to Know, Mrs. Mary Wood-Allen, M.D., writes that we are not only body and mind, but spirit (or soul).  Whether we’ve thought about this or not, the fact remains.  “No failure to recognize God as your Father changes His relationship to you.  No conduct of yours can make you any less His child.”

“Well,” you may say, “if that is so, what does it matter, then, what I do?  If disobedience or sin cannot make me less God’s child, why should I be good and obedient?”  Because… “your conduct changes your attitude toward Him.”

“The most worthy and dignified thing we can do,” wrote Dr. Wood-Allen, “is to recognize ourselves as God’s children and be obedient.  It is a wonderful glory to be a child of God . . . even the most ignorant or degraded have . . . divine possibilities.”

My grandmother’s choices and behavior evidenced that she was in a merciful relationship with her Heavenly Father.  And, no matter what anyone else thought of her, she knew she had “divine possibilities” because she was a child of God.

This woman physician from the late 1800s continues, “Being children of God puts on us certain obligations towards Him, but it also puts on God certain obligations towards us.  ‘What!’ you say: ‘God the Infinite under obligations to man, the finite?  The Creator under obligations to the created?’  Oh, yes.”

Human parents are under obligation to care for, protect, educate and give opportunities to their children.  In a similar way, God is obligated to do the same for His children.  The difference is, He fulfills these obligations perfectly.  All our earthly blessings are from Him.  Every good thing we have is a gift of love from our Creator and Heavenly Father.

Our life matters to God.  And, why wouldn’t it?  He created it!  He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for it!  And, as Dr. Mary Wood-Allen observes, “God takes such minute care of us that if for one second of time He would forget us, we should be annihilated.”  What does that say to you?  I know what it says to me.  And it pulls me down on my knees in humble, speechless gratitude.

But, if God is truly taking care of us, why does He allow failures, hardships and worries?  Sometimes, the things we call hard and cruel are actually little tumbles on our way to learning to walk.  A trial or difficulty in the school of life may be God’s way of opening our eyes to see that we need Him and can trust Him.

Our choices affect our attitude toward God.  The most dignified thing we can do is to recognize ourselves as God’s children and try to do those things that bring glory to Him.

It is a wondrous thing to be called a child of God.  It means we are heirs of God’s wisdom, strength, and glory.  It means that when we fail to trust and obey Him, we are still God’s child because of what Jesus did for us (Galatians 4:4-7).   Only a personal question remains:

As a child of God, how shall I choose to live?

Read Full Post »

Yes, Abortion Does Hurt Women

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Commentaries of others, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , on February 3, 2011| 1 Comment »

Twenty five of my friends, relatives, or acquaintances have had an abortion.  Of the 25, 18 are Lutheran.  Two are wives of pastors.  At least three have had more than one abortion.  These are just the women who have told me.

Each one of these women have said, “Please warn other women: Abortion hurts.  It hurts a long time.  It affects other choices, relationships and families.”

Recently, the New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) printed a Danish study that concludes there is not a statistically significant difference in mental health issues in women before and after an abortion.  Grace Kern, Executive Director of Word of Hope, writes, “This study is flawed and presents a view that is not at all consistent with more than 30 studies that have been published in recent years showing abortion does increase the risk for a variety of mental health issues.”  Grace Kern and I have worked together.  She has spent what seems like a lifetime caring for women who suffer from depression, perpetual anger, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders,  and thoughts of suicide following their abortion choice.  She is called by women serving time in prison who point to the anniversary of their abortions as a “trigger” for some other kind of violence.

My life has been affected by the women who’ve shared with me their spiritual and psychological trauma from abortion.  In part, the little ministry of Titus 2 for Life (the mentoring outreach of Word of Hope) came into being because of these women.   The very least I can do is help other women — those who may feel trapped between a rock and a hard place — be informed about the very real, long-term risks and consequences of abortion.  It would be heartless of me to withhold truth and a word of warning for a younger generation of women.

Grace explains that one of the biggest flaws in the Danish study is it’s duration.  “It only followed women for 12 months after their abortion or childbirth . . . [but] negative effects of abortion may not surface for many years.

“The death of a child,” says Grace, “is perhaps the most difficult loss to mourn.”  It is for this reason that nurses, doctors, social workers and clergy are encouraged to be sensitive to hurting parents.  With the death of a premature baby, a stillborn child, or a miscarriage, parents are attended to and even encouraged to name and hold their dead baby.

“Every woman who has an induced (unnatural) abortion also suffers the death of her own child,” says Grace.  “Yet, these women typically find themselves alone to cope not only with the loss of the child she will never know, she also has to deal with her feelings of personal responsibility in the child’s death.  She may have difficulty understanding how, on one hand, she feels relief that she is no longer pregnant but, on the other hand, feels a profound sense of loss and emptiness.”

Following an abortion, the woman may feel such relief that she seems cheerful and “o.k.” with what’s happened, but doesn’t want to talk about it.  As feelings of relief subside, a period labeled by psychiatrists as emotional “paralysis” or post-abortion “numbness” sets in.  “This may explain why research into the psychological impact of abortion in the immediate post-abortion period often yields negative results,” says Grace.

The Danish study does not consider the long-term impact of abortion.  Nor, as Grace points out, does it consider “how the mental issues manifest themselves, or that the mental issues do not always result in a measurable event, such as a woman seeking psychological care.”

Women close to me prove that the Danish study is not only flawed, it is harmful.  Following her abortion, one woman allowed herself to float from one man to another.  She suffered assorted health problems.  She abused alcohol and had little respect for herself.  One woman married a few years following her abortion.  She gave birth to two children but believed, since she had aborted her first child, it was impossible for her to be a good mom.  She resisted the love of her husband and children and, instead, made life difficult for her family.  Another woman allowed herself to spiral downward after her abortion.  She ran with the wrong crowd, abused drugs and alcohol, and was sexually promiscuous.  Pregnant a second time, she again aborted.  What did it matter, she asked herself.  I’m a miserable excuse for a person.  She set herself up for failure in relationships.  Years later, after marriage and the birth of three children, peace alluded her.  Looking at her living children only reminded her of those to whom she had denied life.

So, yes, abortion does hurt women.  The Danish study, terribly flawed, completely disregards real women and men — mothers, fathers, and grandparents, too — who experience a delayed reaction to the violence of abortion.  If you are the mother or father of an aborted child, I would like you to call my friend Grace Kern at Word of Hope.  She will welcome you, be honest with you, and lead you toward a future of hope in the mercy of Jesus Christ.  Please visit www.word-of-hope.org or call 888-217-8679.

(Note: Resources for hope and healing are available from Word of Hope and also Lutherans For Life.  Two I have authored are the Bible study, From Heartache to Healing, and brochure “The Secret Pain.”)

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »