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Archive for the ‘Sexy or holy?’ Category

Why “I Am A Sexual Being” Puts Us in Danger of Idolatry

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , on November 28, 2011| 2 Comments »

God says: “You shall have no other gods before Me.”  It is His first commandment (Exodus 20:3).  But, when we label ourselves “sexual beings,” we are tempted to put our “sexuality” — our flesh side — before God.

Doubt me?  Take an honest look at the culture.  Only one thing is “holy of holies” above all other things; only one thing is untouchable, my “right,” and to be revered no matter the cost.  That is “human sexuality.”  Beginning early in sex education, children are told: You are a “sexual being.”  Therefore: It is who I am.  It is me.  It is what I do.  It is even my excuse for what I should not do.

Telling ourselves and others (especially children) that we are “sexual beings” is bestowing the wrong identity.  Bestowing the wrong identity, we put ourselves in God’s place.  We call ourselves something that He did not.

God does not identify us as “sexual beings.”  God clearly identifies us a “human beings” or “humankind” or “man created in His own image” (Genesis 1:27).  Reading on, we learn that God created mankind to be “male and female.”  Is this where some Christians get the notion that God made us to be “sexual beings” or to possess “sexuality?”  Well, I don’t think Martin Luther or other church fathers would agree.  Luther writes, “Moses put the two sexes together and says that God created male and female in order to indicate that Eve, too, was made by God as a partaker of the divine image and of the divine similitude, likewise of the rule over everything.  Thus even today the woman is the partaker of the future life, just as Peter says that they are joint heirs of the same grace (1 Peter 3:7).  In the household the wife is a partner in the management and has a common interest in the children and the property, and yet there is a great difference between the sexes.”  (The Lutheran Study Bible, commentary on 1:28, p. 14).  How interesting that Luther did not take this opportunity to proclaim: Look, here, believers!  God has made humans to be sexual beings!  It is who we are!  Luther does, however, point to our real identity: Bearers of God’s divine image.

We do not bear the image of animals.  (Thus, we are not captive to animal instincts.)  We do bear the image of God.  God’s image is holy.  Even though we no longer bear the perfect image of God, He still calls us to holy living!  The kind of living that honors His name and reflects His glory rather than our own.  The kind of living that does not tempt others to sin but, instead, guards both our soul and the soul of our neighbor.

Ahhhh.  Now, we’ve come even closer to our true identity.  We are more than body or mind.  We are spirit, created by God who is Spirit.  We are immortal souls.  “Sexuality” has nothing to do with our souls.  Our souls will live forever.  (In heaven, Jesus tells us, there will be no marriage; in other words, no expression of “sexuality,” no “one flesh union” [Matthew 22:30].)

There is spiritual danger in choosing to identify ourselves as “sexual beings.”  True, we are male or female creations of God.  As male or female believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are God’s children.  Even when we fail to act as His children, He is still our Father.  The Father-Child relationship doesn’t change because of our sin.  But, when we sin against God by calling ourselves what He does not; when we focus on ourselves as “sexual beings” and not His children with immortal souls, then our wrong identity shapes our behavior and our behavior changes our attitude toward God.

A changed attitude toward God can dangerously tempt us to put ourselves in the place of God; to, in fact, become our own god.  A god who defines “self” and “sexuality” as being supreme.

The pagan defines himself and lives however he pleases.  But, the believer proclaims: It is God who made us and not we ourselves.  God says: I have called you by name; you are Mine.  In Jesus Christ, God calls us His children.  We are treasured souls bought with a price.  That is our identity.  Anticipating Jesus’ return, “sons” and “daughters” live their lives as male or female: two eyes of the human race.  Both are needed for a clear understanding of life.  It is folly to think of every interaction of male and female as being sexual in nature.  What an abhorrent mess that would be!  Being male and female is not so much sexual as it is the partnering of our complimentary differences to bring glory to God, proclaim Jesus Christ, and affect the culture for good.

Only in marriage does our “flesh side” – our “sexuality” – find its home.  Only in marriage is the “one flesh” union a divine gift to humanity.  It is a power from God.  Who, but the Creator God could join with man and woman to procreate, to bring new life — new body, mind and soul — into existence?  Husband and wife respond to God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply.”  Yes, in the act of sex, male and female are “sexual.”  They procreate sexually.  In Scripture, all things “sexual” pertain to the act of sex.  It is the “will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his (or her) own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like [those] who do not know God”  (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4).  The commentary on verse 4 found in the Lutheran Study Bible brings clarity.  “Our sexuality is God’s gift for use within the parameters of marriage.”  Do you understand what is being said here?  Our gift of sexuality, or the ability to have sex, is reserved for marriage between one man and one woman.  To be male or female, however, is a gift for daily use in glorifying God.  We are not to abstain from being male and female.  We are not to do battle with the attributes of maleness or femaleness, but with “sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry . . . [T]hose who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5:19-24).

It matters how we identify ourselves.  It determines our behavior.  It can become the argument for homosexuality.   It can help – or hinder – our neighbor.  It honors – or dishonors – the sanctity of human life.  When we identify ourselves as “sexual,” we may be tempted to give ourselves license; to, in fact, worship and serve ourselves rather than God (Romans 1:24-25).  But, re-created in Christ, male and female identify themselves in a different way.  A Christian’s body is the “temple of the Holy Spirit who enables the believer to turn away from a “sexy” life to a “holy” life.  When we identify ourselves as “holy” and “immortal souls,” we are encouraged to guard the treasure that Jesus bought at tremendous price.  “The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs — heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:16-17).

We “are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh” (v 12).  In Christ, our fallen nature has no claim on us.  Our “flesh side” may tempt us, saying: “This is who I am,” or “I owe it to myself,” but we aren’t obligated to obey its impulses or satisfy its desires.  Why?  Because we “did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear” or idolatry.

We cry: “Abba Father!” (v.15)

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The Missing Piece of Abortion: Childhood Sexual Abuse

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , on November 17, 2011| Leave a Comment »

“I would never have an abortion myself, but I support the right of others to do so.”

“Abortion is wrong, depending upon the circumstances.”

“Sometimes we’re forced to choose the lesser of two evils.”

Why is abortion defended as a “woman’s right” even among people of faith?  How does a mother, father, or grandparent rationalize abortion?  What has to happen to make people who acknowledge the Creator of life set themself in His place and take a life?

The ministry of Titus 2 for Life began after years of asking these questions.  In order to make abortion “unthinkable,” we must honestly examine what happens prior to an abortion, including a “me first” mentality, promiscuity, loss of true identity, and failure to trust God.  But is there, as one Titus 2 participant asked, a missing piece to the puzzle of abortion?  Is there something so terrible that, in moments of fear and hopelessness, even Christian women and their families feel compelled to play the role of God?

An e-mail conversation following a Titus 2 Retreat began to reveal that missing piece.  A participant wrote: “Without breaking confidences, a group of us shared the painful circumstances of abortion as related to us by friends, family, congregation, and community members we have cared about and listened to over the years.  A common thread seemed to run through these accounts.  Young women who had been victims of childhood sexual abuse became promiscuous or experienced further sexual abuse from men during their teen years.  When they found themselves pregnant, they chose an abortion.”

Childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is, without a doubt, a missing piece in the abortion puzzle.

“I don’t even remember when it began.  My older step-brother would slip into my room at night and crawl into bed with me . . .”

“When I was twelve, my ‘uncle’ began touching me . . . later, when boys wanted to do the same, I honestly didn’t know how to say ‘no.’”

“Between the ages of 10 and 14, I was sexually abused by my step-dad.  My mom knew but was too afraid to say anything . . .”

“The principal of my Christian school said I was special and what he was doing to me was our secret . . .”

The stories break our hearts.  One study done in 1997 found that “compared to women who were not abused during childhood, women who reported a history of childhood sexual abuse were 1.5 more likely to have had an abortion.”  (Source: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9315271)

This statistic (and more) was researched by a Titus 2 participant whose heart was touched by the stories she heard following a retreat.  She has been motivated to speak so that a culture can begin to prevent more harm, death, and hopelessness.

Titus 2 women gather to contrast the world with The Word.  Abortion is a worldly idea, but God calls it a sin.  What has to happen before the sin of abortion?  Other sin.

Sin happens when we rebel against or fail to trust God.  Sin happens when we let our sinful human flesh come under Satan’s authority.  Sin happens when God’s people are silent about sinful behavior.  Sinful humans caught up in sinful behavior affect the lives of others.

CSA is an example of sin’s generational effect on all of us. The consequences of one sin can affect generations to follow.  God says: I, the Lord your God, am a jealous god, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me . . . (Exodus 20:5 NIV).

In pausing to take a breath, I sense what some of you are thinking.  Why is God so unjust to compel innocent children to bear the sins of guilty parents?  Ahhh . . . and so it might seem to those who stop with verse five.  Please!  Don’t stop!  Read the rest of what God has to say.  He continues with a powerful, life-changing “but” that is followed by words of hope: I . . . am a jealous God, punishing . . . to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me . . . but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments (v. 6).

Do you hear what the Lord of life is saying?  He is “a jealous God” because He created male and female.  The first man and woman’s sin tainted all of their children and children’s children.  Sin produces consequences.  But, praise God!  There is Hope!  There is always Hope for those who love and trust God!  This Hope died for our sin ad rose to victory.  Hope is Jesus Christ who covers the repentant sinner with mercy every morning.

It is never a child’s fault when he or she is abused.  A child has not sinned when they are forced to do something against their will.  The adult who puts a child in harm’s way or strips away innocence is always held accountable.  So, what does the person who experienced childhood sexual abuse do?  He or she finds hope and healing in God’s promises: Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame . . . The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them . . . The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:5, 7, 18 NIV).

What does the adult who sinned against God and one of His little ones do?  He or she finds hope and healing in God’s promises: When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.  For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.  Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’ – and You forgave the guilt of my sin.  (King David in Psalm 32)

What do Titus 2 women (and men) do?  They speak up.  They expose the darkness of evil with the light of God’s Word.  For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.  It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this  present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing ofour great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good (Titus 2:11-14).

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Abortion, Sex Education & Forgiveness

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Today, I was invited to speak for a few minutes on Issues, Etc. — Lutheran Talk Radio.  How does one “speak for a few minutes” on two life-sized topics: Abortion and Sex Education?  It was impossible!

I’ve posted multiple blogs in recent weeks on sex education, yet have only covered the surface.  There is so much history!  So much experience!  Such bold contrast between the world’s idea of sex education and God’s command to instruct in purity.  Identity — how the world defines us vs. how God defines us — is core in this discussion.  At the very least, I hope one person was made more curious.

Well, go ahead…  if you wish.  Click on the link and listen 🙂

Abortion and Forgiveness & Sex Education, with Linda Bartlett, 11/16/2011

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Please! Let Us Dialogue!

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , on October 31, 2011| 2 Comments »

Yesterday was Reformation Day.  It is the Sunday that Lutherans worldwide reflect not so much on a man, but on the request made by that man of his church.

Martin Luther saw some abuses in the church.  Worldy ideas and opinions had crept into the church and affected both teaching and practice.  Luther was greatly concerned by what he saw.  As one called to speak truth and lead away from danger, Luther warned the people not to put too much trust in one particular practice.  Those in authority over Luther were angered by his boldness.   He was told to stop speaking.  To mind his manners and know his place.  But, Luther grieved for the people who were affected by the abuses of wrong teaching and practice.

Luther’s conscience found no peace in silence.  So, he brought his concerns to the attention of the church by inviting his fellow professors to a debate.  His thoughts were carefully composed into 95 Theses (or ideas), printed and, with a few blows of a hammer, nailed for all to see on the door of Wittenberg’s Castle Church.  There was nothing unusual in this action.  It was the customary way to announce a debate.  Luther was now public with his criticisms of Rome and concerns for the people.

Rome heard the blows of Luther’s hammer.  “We are the church!  Who is this man?” spoke the pride of authority.

“Behold!  This is a work of Satan to stir up division within the church!” spoke well-meaning but frightened leaders.

“This is an attack!  An apology must be written, or else!”  spoke angry voices in well-established positions.

But, what did Luther request?  And why did his request anger certain people in the church?  Anyone reading Luther’s written concerns today would recognize that he was a loyal son of the church.  He spoke and wrote with respect for the church, but also caring concern for those under the influence of the church.  Luther was not guilty of questioning the Word of God, but of questioning the church’s interpretation and application of that Word.  A practice, indeed, built on human and flawed assumptions.

Luther was heard and understood by many of his peers.  After all, he was not the first to speak up.  Others had recognized certain church practices to be more faithful to human opinion than the Word of God.  Pointing out errors in scholastic theology had already cost some believers their lives.  Luther, who by the mercy of Christ had experienced his own reformation, was motivated to ask important questions of the church.  His concerns were faithful to The Good Shepherd and sensitive to the sheep.  But, Luther’s public posting drew fire.  It caused some to move into a defensive posture.  Ears were ringing from the hammer blows on the church door.

Some ears are ringing today from the blow of another hammer on a church door.  For a long time, some parents have seen certain abuses in the church.   They have been “speaking up” with valid concerns about the teaching and practice of sex education.  Sex education is a concern for Christians in particular because it is founded on human and flawed assumptions.  Alfred Kinsey, often called the “father of modern sex education,” did not seek Wisdom (Jesus Christ); therefore, his perspectives on male, female, modesty, patience, purity, marriage, children, and society are directly opposed to the Creator and Redeemer of life.

So, when a concerned Christian parent does not see that the church’s teaching and practice of sex education is distinctively different from the world’s, she feels compelled to speak.  She writes a kind of request, asking that the church wake up.  Listen.  Think.  Dialogue on the issue.  When he posted the 95 Theses, Luther did not attack the pope. Neither does a discerning and concerned parent attack a particular person.  Instead, she relies on the fact that she has a duty to request that pastors and all church leaders be faithful to The Word and consider the source of every teaching and practice.

With the best of intentions, the church may want to equip parents to better teach their children about male and female, relationships and love, marriage and procreation.  Unfortunately, a weakness of sinful Christians is to believe we can sort through worldly models and make proper use of the “good stuff” in our teaching.  There is wisdom in a lesson from history.  The Israelites, returning from captivity to rebuild Jerusalem, were overwhelmed by the responsibility given to them.  They were tempted to accept the help of unbelieving neighbors in the land.  But, God warned them not to accept such help.  To do so would be to compromise faith and practice.

Luther posted 95 Theses in a public place because faithfulness to the Word — Jesus Christ — would not allow him to be silent.  His compassion for people would not let him be silent.  Once he saw abuses and the consequences that followed, he could not un-see.  It was long past time to dialogue.  To correct error.  Even though he was told not to do anything that might disturb the church, Luther would not — could not — recant.

A Christian parent posts a thought in a public place because faithfulness to the Word — Jesus Christ — will not allow her to be silent.  Her compassion for people, especially children, will not let her be silent.  Once she sees abuses and the consequences that follow, she cannot un-see.  It is long past time to dialogue.  To correct error.  Even though she is told that her concern is inappropriate and might disturb the church, this parent will not — cannot — recant.

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What a Young Woman Ought to Know

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , on October 28, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Tonight, as I prepare for a Titus 2 Retreat, I read from my grandmother’s book, What A Young Woman Ought to Know.  The book, by Mary Wood-Allen, M.D., is but one in her Purity and Truth series authored in 1898.  If anyone wants to say to me: Hmm.  That’s quite dated, isn’t it?  I will respond: Truth is never dated.

Dr. Wood-Allen writes:

We seldom think of the fact that upon sex depend all the sweet ties of home and family.  It is because of sex that we are fathers, mothers, and children; that we have the dear family life, with its anniversaries of weddings and birthdays.  It is through sex that the ‘desolate of the earth are set in families,’ and love and generosity have sway instead of selfishness.  For this reason we ought to regard sex with reverent thought, to hold it sacred to the highest purposes, to speak of it ever with purest delicacy, and never with jesting  . . .  .”

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Silence Not a Virtue

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on October 19, 2011| 6 Comments »

I’m still wondering:  Why did publication of the article, “Child Abuse” (an original post of ezerwoman), bring an angry response from a Christian author on “sexuality?”  Might this response be similar to the response of a woman angered by her pastor’s pro-life sermon?  Pro-life pastors have learned by experience that when they speak God’s Word on abortion, it’s not unusual for a woman to respond in anger because she is either in denial over a past abortion or maintaining a defensive posture.

For many years, I’ve been made aware of certain choices, behaviors, defensive reactions (i.e. “abortion is the lesser of two evils”), and cover-ups within my own church.  Indeed, we are “saints and sinners,” but can we encourage the “saint” without calling to accountability the “sinner”?

Silence is not a virtue, not when virtue itself is being mocked.  Disrobed.  Stolen away.

Why would concerns about protecting virtue and modesty cause anger?  Why would someone take offense when others caution against breaking down naturally protective inhibitions, or putting children in harm’s way with too much information too soon (and then expecting them to “wait”), or raising curiosity about all kinds of “sex,” or borrowing tools and techniques from non-Biblical models, or choosing the word “sex” to describe the subject matter rather than “purity”?   To bring clarity, I’ve been digging out old phone logs, journals, scribbled notes, research papers, and stories from pastors, teachers, parents, and students I’ve met along the journey.  We are in a marriage-breaking, family-fracturing, child-hurting, soul-risking mess.  I wish I could word it better, but simply put: I’ve seen too much on my “watch.”  And…  there is a shameful lack of accountability.

Bearing that in mind, I’m further determined to hold myself accountable.   First to my Savior and, next, to those who put their trust in Him rather than human opinion.  Dealing with sensitive and difficult issues, even finding myself in conflict with well-meaning Christians, requires the good counsel of wisdom.  I make a practice of running my thoughts by my husband because I need his logic and practical sense.  He has a “three day rule.”  Give major decisions or responses three days.  Write the letter.  Make the phone call.  Speak up… but, when possible, only after three days.  In addition to my husband, I seek the counsel of a core group of pastors I’ve come to trust over the years.  I seek the counsel of wise women who properly understand the role of “ezer.”   By surrounding myself with a group of people who have also seen Christians build on the wrong foundation when it comes to “sexuality” — and then witnessed the consequences and mourned with hurting people — I hope to be faithfully encouraged to the highest standard.  The standard of God’s Word.  The Word that exhorts us to “speak up” when wrong things are happening and human lives are at risk.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what a woman told me following a Titus 2 Retreat.  She explained years of childhood sexual abuse that led to promiscuity, abortion, and despair.  She wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what several men and women told me when thirty years of sexual abuse of children by their Christian school principal came to light.  They wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what a young woman told me after being encouraged by Christian parents to date older, more “experienced” men.  When she became pregnant by an “experienced” man, money was handed over for an abortion so that the daughter “wouldn’t have her life ruined.”  She wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what a Christian youth director told me after marrying his Christian sweetheart.  But, because both had learned about sex early and encouraged to be open about their “sexuality,” each had bonded to several others before the youth director and his sweetheart married.  The marriage was troubled for a long, long time.  He wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  That’s what an older woman told me who admitted that, for years, she was taught to be comfortable with her body, her “sexuality.”  In boy/girl classrooms, inhibitions were stripped away.  Seeing herself as a “sexual” person, she played the “game.”  When she captured a man’s attention and certain expectations followed, she grieved her loss of innocence.  She wanted the cover-up to stop.

Silence is not a virtue.  In a few short years and close proximity, four pastors within my Christian denomination apparently saw themselves as “sexual persons” with a “need” to act out their “sexuality” rather than as human persons created by God to live as men under Christ’s robe of righteousness.  One openly embraced his homosexuality, left my church body, and became an Episcopalian priest.  Another was charged and arrested for “lascivious acts with a minor and third degree sexual abuse.”  Two more were caught in a prostitution sting, one of them the former pastor of my home congregation.  Is the response to this: “Forgive me!  Love me!  Let’s go on with life”?  Or, do we want the cover-up to stop?

Christians may think they are different from the world when Jesus is wrapped around everything we say and do.  But — you’ve heard me say it many times — Jesus does not wrap Himself around worldly things.  Christians may believe they are helping others toward a brighter future.  But, if they’re using styles and techniques learned from any source other than God’s Word, then the outcome will have undesirable consequences.  God brought to Adam and Eve new emotions of embarrassment and shame with their nakedness and sin.  He covered that embarrassment with clothing and that shame with Jesus’ robe of righteousness.  We must honor that covering, even when a modern sex educator insists: “No need for modesty!  Don’t be embarrassed!  Be comfortable in your glory!”

When we see bad things happening and people being confused, hurt or — most tragic of all — tempted away from the Father God, we cannot be silent.

Silence is not a virtue when virtue is being stolen away.

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Sex Ed Success, Modesty Removed

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2011| 2 Comments »

The question was asked, “What is the difference between ‘modern sex education’ and ‘comprehensive sex education?'”  The answer: Both are education in sex.  Education in sex is quite different from God’s Word to instruct in purity and guard modesty.  So, perhaps, when we know a particular class is called “sex education” or “sexuality for boys and girls,” or a set of books is labeled “a sex education series,” or even “Christian Sex Education,” we ought to ask: What are the desired outcomes?

One of the desired outcomes of modern sex education is to help boys and girls become more comfortable with their bodies.  With their “sexuality.”  A well-known Christian author/teacher in the field of sex education once confronted me.  He said: I understand that you’re displeased with our church’s sex education.  In that particular time and place, I could only respond quickly with my concern about modesty.  “Yes, I am concerned.  Couldn’t we, at the very least, teach boys and girls separately so as not to break down their natural inhibitions and destroy protective boundaries?  Doesn’t God desire that we protect the innocence of children?”  His response?  He said he was pleased that his son, at age ten, knew more about sex than he did at that age.  I wondered aloud: “Is that a good thing?”

Modern sex education has, indeed, achieved a desired outcome.  Everywhere I look, I see young women who are comfortable with their bodies.  Their “sexuality.”  They are comfortably exposed at the Lord’s Table much to the discomfort of pastors offering the sacrament.  They are comfortably exposed at the mall, on the beach or at the pool, on dates, playing sports, at church youth events, or in Bible study.

Girls are, indeed, comfortable with their “sexuality.”  Christian girls shop at Victoria’s Secret or Abercrombie & Fitch just like non-Christian girls.  They purchase sensual dresses for prom or other social events, often to the delight of moms who gush pride in their “sexy” daughters.  Girls are not embarrassed by sexually-suggestive remarks.  They speak, text, and post sensual messages.  They are so “comfortable” with their bodies — their “sexuality” — that very little is left to the male imagination.

It’s difficult to mentor, guard, or practice modesty when sex education’s goal is to make classrooms of boys and girls together more comfortable with themselves.  When God speaks of modesty, isn’t He calling us to be “holy” as opposed to “sexy”?  Isn’t He calling us to dress and act in ways that call attention not to our glory, but His?  And, as with all things godly, isn’t there a reason for this?

Those who promote Christianized-sex education insist that their emphasis is on chastity.  They claim this is a far cry from secular instruction on how to use a condom or where to go for an abortion.  But, the innocence of children is stolen away by even the most passionate Christian who wants to come out of the Victorian closet of prudish inhibition.  There are many well-meaning Christians who, with the sincere hope of preventing sexually-transmitted diseases and unwed pregnancy, support some form of sex education.  But, Douglas Gresham, the step-son of C.S. Lewis explained to me that he views “modern sex education as child abuse because it is ill-planned and poorly thought out, thus adding to the very problem it is trying to address and eroding the structure of a healthy family.”

What does he mean?  Perhaps this.  So-called “sex education” before Alfred Kinsey was generally a discussion of human biology and procreation, hygiene, and marriage.  It was a discussion to be had in the home with the parent in the role of teacher.  Who would better guard the virtue of children?  Who would better explain “sex” (defined by a pre-sexual revolution dictionary as ones “maleness” or “femaleness”)?  Who would better assist a son or daughter in being patient until marriage and, thus, help build a structure for a healthy family?  But, after Alfred Kinsey, this life-shaping responsibility was transferred to school teachers and so-called “experts.”  Prior to the release of Kinsey’s research, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male in 1948, no child development experts suggested that children were sexual from birth or that they benefited from childhood sexual activity (or, I’d like to add, from childhood sexual discussions between boys and girls in classrooms).  (Note: For documentation on this and more, I recommend you read Kinsey: Crimes and Consequences by Dr. Judith A. Reisman, 2000)

In 1986 Planned Parenthood (PP) commissioned a poll to determine how “comprehensive” sex education affected behavior.  “Comprehensive” means placing emphasis on the practice of “safe sex.”  Much to the PP’s dismay, the study showed that children exposed to such a program had a 47% higher rate of sexual activity than those who’d had no sex education at all.  (Planned Parenthood Poll, “American Teens Speak: Sex, Myths, TV and Birth Control.”  Lou Harris and Associates, December 1986, p. 59, table 6-1.)

So, I wonder:

  • Do Christian children exposed to modern sex education (post-1960, teacher/expert, boy/girl classroom-style) have a higher rate of sexual awareness, sensual dress, and sexual inhibition than those who’ve had no sex education at all?
  • Has sexual activity increased more among Christian young people who’ve been sexually-educated in the last three decades than those who’ve had no sex education at all?
  • Do Christian young people who’ve been made more comfortable with their “sexuality” suffer from more sexually-transmitted diseases, depression following multiple bonding, unwed pregnancy, and post-abortion grief than those who’ve had no sex education at all?

I’m thinking that it just might not be a good thing — no, not a good thing at all — if my nine-year-old grandson knows more about sex than I did at his age.

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What Is the Source?

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2011| 2 Comments »

An editor asked to reprint one of my blogs in a national publication.  The article, “Child Abuse” (7-29-11), suggested that we ought to examine the source of sex education.  It prompted notes of appreciation… but also a call of anger to the publisher from a person of authority in the church.  He felt as if he’d been “attacked.”  “Labeled.”  Why?

Some think the Old Testament is, well, “old.” But, I’ll tell you what.  At times like this, I find lessons taught by historic events refreshingly helpful and hopeful.  At this moment, with division caused among God’s people over sex education versus instruction in purity, I turn to Ezra 4:1-6.

The people of Israel had just been set free from captivity in Persia (formerly Babylon) so that they might return to Jerusalem.  Few Israelites, however, wanted to return to their homeland.  A great many had adapted to their new surroundings.  They had property and liked their new lifestyle.  Going back (as in “backward”?) was not appealing.  Very few packed their bags and returned to rebuild a crumbled and decaying Jerusalem.  Reality hit hard.  The job of rebuilding the temple to the Lord was going to be difficult.  How tempting it probably was to accept the help offered by unbelieving neighbors in the land.  Were the neighbors being kind, or did they have an agenda of their own?  Whatever the case, fathers of the Israelite houses said, “No.”  To maintain pure worship, the Israelites rejected the offer of help from the people of the land who lived a life of blended and false religious beliefs.  To accept would have placed households at risk of being deceived away from Jehovah God.  To accept help from nonbelievers — to use their tools or building materials — could not be tolerated.  The task before the few and faithful Israelites was daunting, in fact, reminiscent of Noah building the Lord’s ark in the midst of his more “progressive” neighbors.  But, then — as today — clear boundaries in doctrine and practice are necessary because a corrupt gospel is no Gospel at all (Galatians 1:8).

The Christian finds him or herself facing a similar challenge today.  God’s Word tells His people to instruct sons and daughters in purity.  But, the people in the land where we Christians live practice the impurity of blended religions.  These neighbors offer their assistance — tools and building materials (with an agenda of their own?) — to us .   But, what will happen if we Christians accept that offer of help?  Will there be compromise?  Clear boundaries in doctrine and practice are necessary because a corrupt teaching of purity is no teaching of purity at all.

Here is my prayer.  May the eyes of Christian parents, pastors, teachers or students be open to the deception of blended religious beliefs.  May we refuse the assistance of people in the land who have turned from the Creator of life, marriage and family to follow false gods.  May we, with humility, examine our building materials and if found impure, disgard them as trash.  If we have been influenced by the “father of modern sex education,” Alfred Kinsey, may we turn from the lie.  Yes, Kinsey attended a church.   But, he practiced the religion of Darwin.  He built on his own theory that “children are sexual from birth.”  He coined the term “sexuality” and worshiped in its temple.   False gods always demand sacrifice.  Today, Planned Parenthood, SIECUS, and GLSEN build on the religion of my personal “sexuality.”  The sacrifice is the innocence of children; the very lives of children through abortion.

If we have put our trust in ways of the world rather than in the purity of God’s Word, may we let go of pride and hurry to the Cross.  If we have innocently accepted help from unbelieving people of the land, may we repent and be drenched in Christ’s mercy.  The pure Gospel is this: Jesus is our Robe of Righteousness.  Even if we have been deceived and unintentionally brought harm to others, we have hope.  In our Savior Jesus Christ, there is always hope.

Only one voice hisses: There is no hope.  But, that lie of Satan has no authority over us.  Because of what Jesus has done for us — in spite of us, we have dominion over the father of lies.  Of false religions.  Of hopelessness.

Dear Lord,

You are the Builder of all that is good, right and true.  Give us courage to examine the source of our tools and, when we’ve trusted our judgment rather than Yours, accept our humble confession.  Forgive us.  Lead us away from the temptation to wrap Jesus around false teaching…  false hope.  Equip us to set the gate of innocence back in place and guard the household of faith.  AMEN.

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Child Protection

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , on July 29, 2011| 1 Comment »

There is a reason God’s Word speaks consistently and often about purity.  It is the best way to protect children in a fallen and sinful world.

We must never fool ourselves by saying we are teaching purity in sex education.  The two concepts don’t mix.  Education in sex is what it says it is.  Instruction in purity is quit different.  God never tells parents to educate children about sex, but to raise their sons and daughters in purity.  He equips parents to do this throughout all of Scripture.

You may think I’m quibbling with words.  But, I’m not.  Take the concepts for what they are.  Trace them to their sources.  Discover the original goal and intention of each.  Then follow the trail of consequences.

We all need to do better in protecting our children.  Many loving Christian parents, with their children’s best interests in mind, have inadvertently and most innocently placed their children in harm’s way.  I don’t say that lightly.  I don’t say that as a mom who did everything right by her children.  But, we Christians can’t just point our fingers at non-Christians and say, “Look!  They are bad!  They let children do whatever they want!”  We can’t just look at Planned Parenthood and say, “Shame on them!  They are cruel!  They wiggle their way into public classrooms to abuse our children!”

We Christian moms and dads must try to be honest.  There is another kind of child abuse.  It is done unintentionally by good parents.  It is done without careful analysis, but for supposedly all the right reasons.  Nevertheless, it is cruel.  It is a form of child abuse.  What would you call starting children in sex ed at an early age, adding more information with every year, putting boys and girls together for intimately graphic conversation and details on birth control, explaining that God wants the act of sex to be saved for marriage, but then telling sons and daughters to wait to marry until after getting their degree and settling into a good job?

We don’t have to unintentionally abuse children.  We can intentionally protect them.  And God tells us how.

He wants parents to teach His definition of love.  In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, God tells what love is: “patient and kind,” and what it isn’t: “arrogant . . . rude, or insistent on its own way.”

Both fathers and mothers can teach sons and daughters to “have nothing to do with silly myths,” but instead “train for godliness.”  (1 Timothy 4:7-10).  We put scholars and athletes through intense training for a purpose.  Similar training is also required for living in a way that pleases God; for running the “race” of life (1 Corinthians 9:24-26).  Parents can contrast “sexual immorality” and “sensuality” with “patience” and “self-control” (Galatians 5:16-24).

Dads or godly mentors can take boys aside to teach them how to respect women.  “Treat older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:1-2).  To practice self-control (Titus 2:6).  Big brothers can guard the virginity of their younger sisters and, if she becomes promiscuous, help her stop (Song of Solomon 8:8-9).

Moms or godly mentors can take girls aside to teach them how to respect and help men.  “. . . [L]et your adorning be . . . beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4-5).  How to dress, and why… “with what is proper for women who profess godliness” (1 Timothy 2:9-10).  How to “be self-controlled and pure” (Titus 2:4-5).

Then, even though the world may ridicule young people for saying “no” to sex, we can encourage them:  Don’t let anyone “despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:11-12).

God also tells us how to welcome our children when they’ve tried, but failed.  We are to welcome our children as He welcomes us.  “Come to Me,” Jesus always says.  Then, He assures us that when “we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Tomorrow, in Christ, is brimming with hope.

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Child Abuse

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , on July 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Why don’t we just admit it.  Child abuse is legal in this country.

We call it sex education.  But, in truth, it is child abuse.  Modern sex education abuses children by stripping them of their innocence.  It sexualizes our children.  Comprehensive sex education incorporates sexuality into language, thinking skills, health, science, and life-style.

Educators and parents (consciously or not) put their trust in a child abuser named Alfred Kinsey.  He is called the father of modern sex education.  Children, he said, are “sexual from birth.”  Few people paid any attention to the fact that Kinsey used known pedaphiles to experiment on children for the purpose of research.  His twisted documentation made its way into textbooks.  Homes.  Churches.  Those who share Kinsey’s disrespect for life and the innocence of children stood ready profit.  To further loosen moral restraints.

Removing the innocence of childhood has created a flourishing market for retailers.  The advertising industry.  Pharmaceutical companies.  Healthcare.  Planned Parenthood.  Who other than this government-subsidized monolith more unashamedly vies for the role of sex educator, pushes all manner of sexual paraphernalia, and then provides abortion services (for a fee, you understand).

I haven’t always used the term “child abuse” to describe sex education.  It was Douglas Gresham, the step-son of C.S. Lewis who helped me see it for what it is.  I had written Gresham to invite him as a speaker for Lutherans For Life.  I happened to mention personal efforts to help my church understand the dangers of sex education.  You are right to do so, he said, because “modern sex education is child abuse.”  Gresham knows what he’s talking about.  He ministers to women who’ve suffered sexual abuse and the loss of life through abortion that often follows years of abuse.  I, too, have heard the painful stories of women who became promiscuous after being exposed to early instruction in sexuality or blatantly sinful abuse.

For years, I traveled here and there speaking to boys, girls, and their parents.  I did not explain the intimacies of sex, but rather the uniqueness of male and female.  This was received as a strange and novel idea.  Maybe not surprising considering that moms and dads had been under the influence of Kinsey, too.  I kept asking: Why would we want to teach our children about all things pertaining to sex before first mentoring them to be boys?  Girls?  On the path to Biblical manhood.  Womanhood.

Churches have failed the youngest generations.  That’s what happens when we are deceived.  Fooled.  The world stands before us, hissing, “Did God really say . . . ?”  We look around to see new trends.  Sophistication.  Contemporary teaching.  Then, we fall into doubt.  We rationalize.  And we play the game.  The world wins when we are distracted from our vocation of instructing children in purity to instead educate them in sex.  So, along with others, I continue to encourage my church to please consider the source of modern sex education.  To refuse to wrap Jesus around worldly opinions and trends.

This mother and grandmother has sensitively-in tune antenna.  I sense, hear, and see that modern sex education is recruitment into sexuality.  Therefore, it is child abuse.

Modern sex education:

  • Is not anatomy class.
  • Fails to guard the innocence of children.
  • Breaks down inhibitions by placing boys and girls together in the same classroom.
  • Instructs children to be “comfortable with their bodies.” (And so they are… with girls having no clue as to why two cups and a thong might attract un-gentlemanly attention.)
  • Tempts children to believe they are, first and foremost, “sexual beings.”

When we believe that we are “sexual beings,” then it only follows that we have the “right” to be “sexual.”  That we “need” to be “sexual.”  And, in today’s culture, no one should deny “my rights.”  No one should deny “my needs.”  Well, here’s the truth that I will continue to proclaim: We are — first and foremost — human beings, made in the image of God and, although fallen from that image, we are called to holy living as a man or a woman.  Equal, but different.  Can you imagine how that changes the way we see ourselves and others?  The choices we make?  The way we treat one another?

The media and the general public is angry when a priest sexually abuses a child.  We should be.  But, where is our righteous anger when children fall under the tutorage of Planned Parenthood?   SIECUS?  LGBT and GLSEN-approved textbooks?  Projects such as “It Gets Better,” the “bullying” program initiated by homosexual advocate and leading “sex-advice” columnist Dan Savage?  (Warning: All of these sites are graphic.)

Children are not on this earth for our use.  They are gifts from God.  They are treasures of Jesus Christ.  I stand on this truth as a woman.  A mother.  A grandmother.  Try to prove me wrong.  Take your case before the Creator.  Question your reasons for defending sex education and the source of your information.

Educating children in sex is cruel.  It is a far cry from a parent’s role to instruct sons and daughters in purity.  Remembering our own mistakes, we may fear for our children, but comprehensive sex education does not protect young hearts, minds and souls.  Instruction in purity does.  It allows us to protect our children in ways we, perhaps, were not.

What can a parent do?  For starters, teach boys what it means to be a man.  Girls what it means to be a woman.  There are only two sexes, equal but different.  Teach respect for both.  Resist falling for the lie that “experts” know better how to raise your children.  Help children and teens set goals.  Discuss the consequences of choices. Remind them that their bodies are not their own to do with as they please, but creations of God and valued at high price (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

There is a time for everything.  Childhood is a time for innocence.  Therefore, keep the fence up and the gate closed.

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