Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Sexy or holy?’ Category

At Titus 2 Retreats, one of the topics we discuss is modesty in clothing and behavior.  Perhaps, on behalf of our brothers, it would be best for me to share their thoughts on why modesty matters.  Please listen ~

 

Read Full Post »

writing a letterDear Friend,

It was my hope to write much sooner.  I hope this finds you growing in the confidence of our Father’s mercy and love.

Our paths crossed for a time on this earthly journey.  Choices you were making brought suffering to your family and those you care most about.  Those choices forever changed their lives… and yours.  Perhaps the sexual sin that held you captive for too long is part of the reason why I’ve been working on a project.  A very difficult project.  A book that I’d rather not write.  The actual writing began almost two years ago, but the experiences and lessons learned over a period of nearly thirty years laid the foundation.  For now, the working title is The Failure of Christian Sex Education: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity.  I have no idea when the last sentence will be written or, if published, who will want to read it.  But the book begged to be written.

Over fifty years ago, those who promoted the new concept of sex education in both public and parochial schools said it was necessary to decrease unwed pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.  To parents and congregations they said, “Stop teaching so many ‘nos.’  Let us teach your children to say ‘yes’ to the wonders of sex because, after all, children are sexual, too.”  They promised: “Getting everyone comfortable with their sexuality will benefit marriage.”

All that I see proves that too many of us believe the lie that “children are sexual from birth.”  Kinsey built that lie on skewed research and criminal behavior.  He called it science.  Those of the humanist faith were waiting for such “science” to reform the whole of society, one child at a time.  But children are not “sexual” (as Kinsey meant it) from birth.  And we are certainly more than sexual beings, we are spiritual beings.  We will live forever — either with or apart from God.  The Church has forgotten to be distinctively different from the world and, in doing so, failed to encourage children and adults to see themselves as God does.  As baptized persons, we are sons and daughters of God in Christ.  That makes us holy.  Holy means being set aside for noble purpose.  We are not common, but uncommon.  As such, we are useable not just by anyone but by God.  What a difference it makes to see ourselves this way.  Sadly, the world convinces too many of us to identify ourselves as sexual beings and that — from early on — has set the stage for promiscuity, abortion, living together, homosexuality, re-definition of marriage, pedophilia, and a great deal of sin, suffering, and separation from God.  The humanists may claim some victory now, but we know Who has the final Word, don’t we?  Souls are in danger… and for that reason we need to do battle with the sinful world and our own corrupted nature even as we fall at the foot of the Cross — every day — and thank God for his mercies in Christ.

My deepest sense tells me that you know what I mean.  We modern sinners are no different from our first parents.  Eve doubted and thought she could become god of her life.  Adam failed to remember God’s Word and use it to bring order out of the chaos.  Ever since, the enemy of our lives comes to us in our weakest moments, tempting us to doubt God’s strong Word.  We think ourselves wise, but we are foolish.  We think ourselves “good” and, most certainly, we are not.  So, at the end of every day, it is a great privilege and comfort to entrust ourselves to our Savior, poor miserable beings that we are.  In the morning, all things are new and, because of His forgiveness, we can begin all over again.  You know this.  You believed this.  But wrong choices taught you how much sin hurts.  It changes lives.  Covered sin saps our strength.  It shapes us more and more into a common vessel useable by our enemy.

However, there is hope.  There is always hope!  Hope came to us in the Son of God Himself.  Harold L. Senkbeil wrote a revealing book entitled Dying to Live (The Power of Forgiveness).  It explains what the Incarnation — the Word made flesh — means for us.  Simple water, bread, wine and words work in sinful lives to make people over into new creatures.  We can’t go back to Eden.  We live in a dying world.  But God is with us!  Like Moses and Elijah, we cannot look directly at God, but God comes to us in mystery.  Senkbeil calls Jesus (who is God) the “backside” of God.  He is the part of God we can see.  He came in flesh — to teach, to sacrifice, to die — but also to conquer Satan and eternal death.  For me, this is a new way of thinking about Christ.

Consider what this means.  God comes to us in the mystery of water (Baptism), bread and wine (Communion), and His Holy Word.  Wow!  God really has come to you and me… to all who are dying to live 🙂  I think you would like what Harold Senkbeil has to say about the power of forgiveness.  May you know that power in Christ.  May I know that power in Christ.  And may we persevere — with our families and loved ones — on this journey through a strange and unfriendly land to our eternal home.  Can you imagine?  There, at the banquet table, we will be able to rest our eyes on the magnificence of God.  He will no longer have to hide His fullness from us.  We will know His glory in every way.

Your life took a dramatic and traumatic turn.  Sin never improves us but, rather, beats us up.  You have known guilt, regret and great loss of relationships.  Your family, friends and loved ones have also suffered.  But each new day is new opportunity.  The past is what it is.  We are affected by every choice that we make.  Life becomes much more difficult and painful when we fail to use the Word to bring order out of the chaos of life.  But no matter those choices and circumstances — no matter our sins, or lack of health or popularity — our identity never changes when we cling to our baptism.  We are sons and daughters of God in Christ.  Think of what this means!  We really do have hope.  New hope every morning!

May you cling to your baptism even as I will strive to cling to mine.  I am amazed that God continues to carry me.  Forgive me.  Work through me.  It is for this reason that I have grown in a deeper appreciation of the Divine Service.  God doesn’t need my praise, but this empty vessel sure needs to be filled with His Word and Sacrament.  I need to be divinely served by Him in a service distinctively different from the world… and then, in response, I can praise Him in my work, relationships and service to others all week long.  I pray that you know his Divine Service in your life so that, no matter what the days ahead may bring, you will be able to say: I am not common.  I am uncommon in the hands of a mighty God.  I am poor.  I am miserable.  I am unworthy… but I am chosen as a son of God in Christ.

May you know the overwhelming mercy that only God Himself in the humility of Christ can bring to you.  The Cross changes everything for us.  We are no longer captive to sin, but set free to leave old ways behind.  Dear friend, let us both pray for a diminished pride so that we don’t get in the way of the Spirit’s work in us, through us…

… in spite of us.

Read Full Post »

Bill O'ReillyMany people attempt to speak for God.  But it is a dangerous thing to play fast and loose with God’s Word.  Bill O’Reilly, who consistently reminds his listeners that he attended Catholic school, is one example.  He recently told his guest, a priest, that the whole homosexual thing doesn’t trouble him.  Really?  And, I wonder, why might that be?

Two thoughts come to mind.  O’Reilly is a deceived creature who has raised himself above the Creator. He dangerously follows the example of Eve who, after putting herself in God’s place, spoke for Him.  When Satan asked, “Did God really say . . . ?” Eve responded, adding words that God never spoke (compare Genesis 3:2-3 with 2:16-17). Does O’Reilly doubt that Jesus Christ is The Word (John 1:1-5, 14)?  Jesus, who is God, calls homosexuality a sin in both the Old and New Testaments.

Second, it’s quite possible that O’Reilly has no difficulty with two men or two women living a gay or lesbian lifestyle because of another deception.  It is much easier to accept homosexuality as just a personal form of sexual expression when we are deceived by false identity.  That false identity is sexuality.

Identifying humans as primarily sexual beings is what motivates women to aggressively support “reproductive rights” and an American president who blesses Planned Parenthood.  But with little or no fear of God, men and women worship the created rather than the Creator.

Once we have been deceived to see ourselves as “sexual from birth,” our thinking, speech, clothing and behavior soon reflect the lie.  When we celebrate our sexuality — rather than the God who made us — we are more easily captive to the flesh.  We may, indeed, proclaim: This is who God made me to be!

Homosexuality is accepted when we believe the lie: “my body, my choice.”  At the core of all issues of life — abortion, marriage, homosexuality and euthanasia – is identity.   We will most certainly have an identity problem when we deny or doubt the Word of God.

God identifies us not as sexual beings, but as holy beings.  God is holy.  He calls us to be holy.  Holiness means seeking after the things of God, not the things of the flesh.  It means denying self and, instead, being a vessel for noble purpose.  This goes against the grain of the world’s thinking.  “Express yourself,” we’re told.  “Satisfy your natural desires.”  And, in this present culture, what could be more natural than expression of our sexuality which appears to be the sum total of who we are.

O’Reilly (and the rest of us who call upon the name of Christ) should take care.  It is a dangerous thing to play fast and loose with things of God.  Our identity – and with it, our behavior – is defined by God.

To everyone who is called by God’s name, who has been created for His glory, He says, “. . . I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine” (Isaiah 43:1, 7).

Read Full Post »

two women talkingAnother Titus 2 for Life Retreat has concluded.  I am tired, but encouraged.  In a culture such as ours, the need for mentoring grows daily.  This was affirmed most especially this past weekend by the younger women who attended.   Perhaps it will be helpful to share a few quotes from their evaluations.

  • I wasn’t sure what to expect . . . considering the topics, I thought it might all be too judgmental . . . but it was not.  You see, I spent my childhood and good part of my young adult life wishing I was a boy because no one had ever pointed out the joy and biblical blessing of being a woman.
  • I will be getting married soon and this was a great springboard and encouragement for helping me understand my role in our new family.
  • It’s o.k. to be a woman!  This retreat really laid to rest a lot of the horrible post-modern and feminist myths that were always a part of my life but were causing such pain and discontent.  Thank you for being such a real person and addressing the foolish women in all of us with forgiveness.
  • As I approach motherhood, I wanted to attend this retreat again . . . I love how you share with us God’s purpose and esteem for women and womanly traits . . . there is no indignity in God’s design of the woman as ‘helper’ . . . it helps to remember that Christ was submissive and that the Holy Spirit is a helper.
  • Many of my friends are unhappy, kind of restless and certainly discontent.  They hear so many voices of the world which seem in conflict with their own heart.  This retreat was like ten years of godly mentoring in just a few hours!
  • I was afraid this retreat might be hours of anti-abortion rhetoric.   Instead, it affirmed my value to God, reminded me that my Christian upbringing is not a lie, and why my faith makes me so weird to the world . . . I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that God made women not to compete with men but complete them.  I’m very competitive . . . high school girls need to know about biblical womanhood.
  • The discussion on sex education and our mistaken identity was so important . . . I have had abstinence education for years but, no different from the culture, it was a constant focus on sex.

And what do I say to these young women?

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

Read Full Post »

teenagersI will never forget the mom and professional church worker who told me she hoped her sons and daughters would practice safe sex.   We were serving together on a life task force and, during lunch break, she confided, “I raised them to be chaste . . . I want them to wait for marriage.  But, once they started college, I encouraged them to use protection because, after all, they’re sexual, too, and I’m scared to death they’re going to be like everyone else.”

I remember the grandma who toured our local pregnancy center.  She thought the best thing parents could do for their daughters was to get them on The Pill so they wouldn’t need a pregnancy test.

Then there was the single father who raised his daughter to believe in Jesus, but made sure she had the Gardasil shot and was using birth control.  “I know what I was like at her age and I know she’s just going to sleep around so I have to look out for her.”

And there was the pastor who told me that he’s taken some girls from his congregation for abortions because “their parents wouldn’t be supportive of an unplanned pregnancy.”  These girls are “just going to do it,” he explained.  “They can’t help it . . . so I need to be there for them.”

Can’t help it?  What does this say about the way adults view children?

Children are sinful human beings born into a love-to-sin-world.  Do we say, “My child is a sinner.  It’s just who he is, so I’m going to help him lie, cheat, and steal with the least amount of damage.”  Is this how God sees children?  Is this how He helps them?

When we don’t see children the way God does, then our mentoring role in their lives is compromised.

Yes, children are sinful… just like their parents and grandparents.  But baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, God sees us as His adopted sons and daughters in Christ.  Jesus won for God’s children the privilege of becoming heirs of the heavenly kingdom.  This not only bestows value but defines purpose.

Identity matters!  Our sons and daughters are not “sexual from birth” as Planned Parenthood sees them.  They are not captive to instincts and desires.  They are persons created more in the image of God than the image of wolves and rabbits.     To see children as God does is to realize they are more than flesh and blood but spirit and, because they are spirit, every choice they make will take them either closer to — or farther from — God.

It is the children who suffer when we fail to see them as God does.  Expectations for their purpose and behavior are lowered.  Their future appears grim.

Identity matters.  And, because it does, my grandchildren need me to remind them of what happened at the baptismal font.  Their baptism “is an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to Him” (1 Peter 3:21-22).  I can literally tell my grandchildren that their Lord and Savior rules!  This means that someday, when they are teenagers, they won’t have to be subject to raging hormones or made foolish by lack of judgment.  In remembering who they are, they will know the source of their wisdom and strength.  This will affect their choices and behavior.  But that’s not all.

When boys and girls see themselves the way God does, the way they view each other will improve.   Relationships will take on new meaning.  Think about it.  If boys see themselves in light of their baptism as sons of God and girls see themselves as daughters of God, then all baptized people become brothers and sisters in Christ.

Can you imagine?  I mean, really!   Can you imagine the impact this would have on high school and college campuses… at the beach… in the workplace… around the neighborhood… and for society as a whole?

I can.  And it renews my hope.

Read Full Post »

Christian young womanThis government has failed to defend our daughters and granddaughters.

With its blessing of Planned Parenthood, this administration embraced a profiteering assembly line dangerous to women and fatal for children.  Now, the administration has decided not to fight a judge’s ruling to allow girls of any age to get the morning-after-pill over the counter – with or without parental permission.  Shame on this administration.

In fact, shame on us all – parents, grandparents and the Church – for approving pills, shots, and devices for our girls instead of providing boundaries, long-term mentoring, and truth about their bodies, minds, and souls.

The young women in my life are worth defending.  Because I respect them as persons, I lovingly tell them the truth.  It is for this reason that I vow to continue mentoring privately in my home, one on one, and publicly through Titus 2 Retreats.  I begin with an apology for the women of my generation who were deceived during a silly season of feminist fantasies.  Today, those fantasies are the social norm for our daughters and granddaughters.  The mantra hasn’t skipped a beat: Men and women are just the same.  But, no matter how a feminist might want to manage, minimize or manipulate the female body, she cannot fool the Master Designer.

Our daughters are not the same as our sons.  Girls are influenced by oxytocin.  This hormone produces a warm, cuddly feeling with the touch or kiss of a boy.  Oxytocin is great for married women who want to bond with their husbands, but not so great for 16-year-olds.  Girls are not ready for sexual intimacy.  Their pre-frontal cortex, the thinking and decision-making part of their brain, is not fully developed and ready for dependable use until the late teens or early twenties.  Girls have a sensitive ecosystem.  The cervix plays a vital role in female sexual health, but can actually increase a girl’s vulnerability to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) because it, too, is undeveloped.  A mature cervix can better guard against infection with its layers of 20-30 cells, but an immature cervix has only one layer of cells.  Might this be the reason why girls under the age of twenty are hit hardest by the STD epidemic, most especially HPV and Chalmydia?  (HPV can cause cervical cancer.  Chalmydia can cause pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages, and infertility.)  A girl’s cervix is easily penetrable and becomes a nesting place for nasty bugs whose single purpose is to multiply.

So, when our government and the laws of this land disregard the science of our daughters’ anatomy to instead guarantee them access to the morning-after-pill, how must parents with the support of the Church respond?  We should confess our own failures and then press boldly forward to defend those entrusted to our care.

It is to moms and dads that God entrusts children.  God does not leave parents ill-equipped but gives them everything they need in His Word.  The Church is to support parents in their courageous endeavor.  Shamefully, it is parents who have handed over their mentoring responsibility to government schools.  Every day, in public schools across the country, the government educates our children in sex.  Shamefully, parochial schools assist busy or overwhelmed parents by wrapping Jesus around government-produced sex-ed material.  But whether in a public or parochial classroom, talking a great deal about sex and encouraging a child’s celebration of sexuality has sure and certain consequences for vulnerable bodies and minds lacking maturity of judgment.

The government, confident in its role of educator, also sees itself as problem-solver.   Shamefully, fearful parents entrust their daughters to government-funded industries such as Planned Parenthood and chemical companies who produce the before-sex-pill, the after-sex-pill, the just-in-case-shot, and the use-it-and-be-safe-device.

God did not give to government the role of parenting.  Government has no personal, vested interest in helping girls be patient for love while their bodies mature and their brains kick in gear.  Government was instituted by God to guard life and the pursuit of right things, make safe the highways and byways, and stand against enemies of the state.  An amoral government has more interest in perpetuating itself rather than the people it was instituted to serve.

The government and courts of law have a voice.  They can mandate a policy or a procedure.  But they have no hands to pick up the pieces, no arms to hold the sick and dying, no way to nurture relationships, no heart and soul to comfort the brokenhearted and hopeless.

Parents and grandparents have a voice, too.  With informed voice, we must dare to speak truth even at risk of being labeled intolerant or judgmental.  And, while we speak, we can do what no government can do.  We can use our hands to lead away from danger, our arms to embrace the confused and fearful, our homes as safe places to mentor and nurture relationships, our hearts to love unconditionally, and our souls to bring hope in the midst of hopelessness.

Note: I highly recommend Unprotected and You’re Teaching My Child What?
by Miriam Grossman, M.D.

Read Full Post »

Boy scout logoThe Boy Scouts now allow homosexual boys to participate fully in its programs.

What does this mean?

Weren’t all boys always welcomed into the Boys Scouts?  Weren’t all boys invited to be morally trained in courage, tenacity, community service, trustworthiness, and good citizenship?  Weren’t all boys equally mentored to develop character and skills that honor God, country, and neighbor?

Has there ever been a time when a Boy Scout had to declare himself a heterosexual?

Who turns the heads of boys to think they must demand their rights to sexual preference?  Is sexual identity a pre-cursor to responsible citizenship?  In the name of common sense, we’re talking about children here!

Sexual identity rules the day… even for a Boy Scout.   Alfred Kinsey would be proud.  He’s the one who coined the phrase we’ve heard over and over again: “Children are sexual from birth.”  Prior to Kinsey, no one ever referred to children as being “sexual” or inferred that they enjoyed or responded pleasurably to a sexual experience.   Prior to the 1950s, a child was never defined as “sexual” except in the mind of a predator or pedophile.

A Boy Scout pledges on his honor to do his best “to do my duty to God and my country . . . to help other people at all times . . . to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.”  What does it mean to honor God who never once identifies children as “sexual beings?”

God calls boys and girls by name.  He entrusts children to moms and dads within the faithfulness of marriage so that they won’t be mistreated by those who do not see them as He does.  To guard their personhood, God sets children apart from animals who are captive to instincts and bound to do whatever it is they do.  Honoring God, boys are equipped to mature into self-controlled men who rise above selfish interests.

In a sin-drenched world, boys battle sinful natures and the distortion of identity.  But a boy who is baptized is a son of God in Christ.  He is not defined as sexual, but holy.  He is not common, but uncommon.  He is not slave to the weakness of body, but strong of spirit.

Baptized or not, we are all – beginning in the womb of our mothers – both body and spirit.  Our bodies will change, but our spirits will live forever – either with God or apart from Him.  Spiritual identity matters for eternity.

So here is my plea to the Christian community: Do not hide behind choice words like “tolerance” or “compassion.”  Linger no longer in organizations shape-shifted by humanist ideologies.  Take a stand for the sake of boys who journey to manhood.  Treat them not as slaves to themselves, but as heirs of a Kingdom not of this world.

P.S.  Fathers, grandfathers and pastors interested in alternatives to the Boy Scouts might visit Vision Forum.  This ministry offers exciting resources to mentor godly young men.

Read Full Post »

newborn babyThere are no words to describe what abortionist Gosnell did.  I won’t try to come up with any.  What he did in his little shop of horrors is no different than what goes on every day in abortion clinics across this country.  Gosnell is guilty of murder.  So is Planned Parenthood.

Abortion is the greatest child abuse.  But it is also abuse of women.  Abortion ends the life of a child God calls by name, but it forever changes the mother of that child.  Babies carried into an abortion chamber by their mothers never exit.  Mothers may exit, but they are physically, psychologically and spiritually altered.  The way they see themselves and life itself is never the same.

What happens in abortion clinics will continue to happen until we all begin to see ourselves the way God sees us.  Women will continue to seek abortions, men will pay for them, and churches will defend them until we stop identifying ourselves the wrong way.

Never – ever, has God identified boys and girls as “sexual from birth.”  Before Alfred Kinsey, no one ever labeled children in such a way.  But, for the last 60+ years, children have been told beginning as early as kindergarten that they are “sexual from birth.”  Can we be so surprised that abortion was legalized some twenty years after men and women took on this new identity?  If we’re told from childhood that we are “sexual,” then it can’t be helped.  It is, after all, who God made us to be.  Abstain?  It would go against nature, wouldn’t it, to abstain from what is natural.

There is this one thing.  Behavior is shaped by identity.  However we see ourselves and others determines how we treat ourselves and others.  Gosnell looked at the women and children who entered his clinic as less than human.  He saw the women as sexual beings and the babies were products of that sexuality.  Gosnell failed to see them all as God sees them.  When we mis-identify our children as “sexual from birth” (which is taught in every sex education class) then we are failing, too.  We are failing to see women, men and children as spiritual beings.  Sexuality may have something to do with our bodies and minds, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with our spirits.  Our spirits will live forever, you see, either with God or apart from Him.

Abortion, I’m afraid, is a sinful choice that will continue for as long as we sinful people inhabit this earth.  However, people who love the lives that God creates could remove many of the excuses for abortion if only we would stop telling our children: You are “sexual from birth.”  It’s just not true.

Repeat a lie often enough and many will believe it.  They will act upon it.  But, I’d like to be one of the different people God calls followers of Jesus to be.  The kind of people who resist being labeled by the world and who call other people by their rightful identity.

To do so will make a difference, one man, one woman, one child at a time.

Read Full Post »

modest dressI walked into a hospital lobby recently and was met by a pair of barely covered breasts.  “How may I help you,” they asked.

I know.  I know.  You think I’m being prudish.  No, I’m being prudent.

Now, the woman might defend her choice of un-dress in one of many ways.  For example: 1) It’s my body, my right or, 2) I didn’t even notice or, 3) What’s the big deal?  I’m comfortable with my body, aren’t you?  Other women might chime in, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

Many women believe that the freedom to dress how we please empowers a woman.  I don’t agree.  The erotic photos of women on the covers of Cosmopolitan, Playboy, Women’s Health (for heaven’s sake!) and Victoria’s Secret; the photo images that pop up when I google “women;” and the photos of girls semi-attired for spring prom do not empower a woman.  In fact, wearing sexy, form-fitted, revealing clothing distorts the way that men see women.  This is nothing new.  Why do you think prostitutes and sex-trafficked slaves are dressed the way they are and always have been?

Feminists, you can argue all you want.  You can tell me that a woman has the right to show her womanly features and if a man has a problem with it, tough!  But, you will be arguing foolishness.  That’s because men and women aren’t the same.  Never have been.  Never will be.  Just ask the boy in the tuxedo dancing with the girl in the lingerie at prom.

Feminism and the sex merchandising industry have wrapped themselves in political correctness but, in so doing, stripped girls and women of their dignity and true identity.

We are not sexual beings!  We are, first and foremost, spiritual beings who will live forever either with God or apart from Him.  Our souls are housed in a body where our minds also reside.  We are human beings, male or female, created at different times, in different ways, and for different purposes.  Female bodies look, tick, and respond to life differently than men’s bodies.

So, when my husband was also greeted by the pair of barely covered breasts, I wanted to apologize.  “In this world, women dress as they please, but don’t judge her, honey.  Be the gentleman you are and avert your eyes.  See her as a sister or your daughter-in-law or your granddaughter… each precious in God’s sight and covered in Jesus’ Robe of Righteousness.

You see, that’s the thing.  God did not leave the first woman, Eve, naked and uncovered.  He covered her embarrassment of nakedness with neck-to-knee clothes and her shame of sin with the Robe of the forgiving King.  When we see ourselves as daughters of royalty, we not only dress differently, we act differently.

Does stripping away clothing empower a woman?  No.  It makes her an object for man’s desire.

I believe that every woman is far more than that.

Read Full Post »

older couple on beachWhat is marriage?

When do we stop mentoring the truth about marriage?

I submit for your consideration a strange phenomenon.  An increasing number of older men and women are moving in together.  But, it appears to me that their rationale is fear-based.  Perhaps their spouse has died.  They don’t want to be alone.  Financially, it seems practical not to marry and, instead, live together.  Perhaps it seems less complicated to keep their business affairs separate for the sake of their children and grandchildren.  Perhaps insurance coverage or a life-savings will be better protected if they just cohabitate.  After all, it isn’t so much about sex as it is companionship and being a couple in a “couple’s world.”

So, what is a cohabitating senior, especially a cohabitating Christian senior, saying about marriage?

Is marriage all about the joys of pro-creational sex?  Or is it more?

Marriage, from a Biblical worldview, is the practice of generational faithfulness.  It is the union of one man and one woman with all that they uniquely bring into partnership for the benefit of family and community.  In God’s words, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV).

We tell young people not to live together because marriage, more than anything else, is for the benefit of children.  God knows and evidence proves that if a man and a woman have a child, that child will do better when raised by a father and mother who are committed to one another in the life-long relationship of marriage.  Son or daughter will benefit from seeing the vocations of male and female played out in the home.  If a man and woman are married but cannot bear their own or adopt children, they remain an example to nieces, nephews, and neighboring children that marriage is a meaningful union that strengthens society.  It is one man committing to unselfishly love, partner with, and guard one woman under God.  It is one woman committing to unselfishly respect, partner with, and complete one man under God.  It is intimacy… far beyond the sexual.

So, what is an older couple who chooses to live together saying about marriage?

Are they saying that God’s institution of marriage is important for young people but not for those over 65?

Are they saying that one marriage was good and, out of loyalty to their first spouse, they won’t marry again?

Are they saying that financial stability and not God’s design is in their better interest?

Are they saying that marriage is all about sex and if they sleep in different beds then living together is no big deal?

Are they saying that they no longer need to set an example for children, grandchildren, or any child in the neighborhood?

Is the man saying there’s no need to guard his woman’s reputation and cover her with his name?

Is the woman saying she doesn’t need to help and complete her man?

When do we stop mentoring generational faithfulness?

Can you tell me?

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »