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Archive for the ‘Parenting & Education’ Category

Sex Ed Abusive? How Can That Be?

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , on July 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Labeling sex education “child abuse” is a strong statement.  No one wants to be accused of abusing a child.   I would not easily call someone a “child abuser.”  All of us, however, are deceived by theories and techniques of the world.  Education built on false teaching is sure to do harm.

If we blend false teaching or worldly ideas with God’s Word, we will most certainly compromise our best intentions.  We will weaken the protective boundaries of God’s commands.  It is never a good thing to tamper with things of God, especially the instructions He gives us about children.

God’s Word never tells us to educate children in sex.  It tells us to instruct children in purity.  To guard their innocence.  To do nothing that might lead a child astray.

Here are some reasons why sex education – in or out of the church – is “child abuse.”

  1. “. . . [S]ex education is child abuse because it is ill-planned and poorly thought out, thus adding to the very problem it is trying to address and eroding the structure of a healthy family.”  (Douglas Gresham, step-son of C.S. Lewis and founder of Rathvinden Ministries, a ministry to post-abortive and abused women in Dublin, Ireland, in an e-mail to ezerwoman.)
  2. Early, explicit, and boy/girl sex education classes can steal the innocence of children and create mind absorbing images, conflicts, and preoccupations.  Boy/girl classes in sex education or “human sexuality” can be a form of desensitization that eventually strips away defenses and induces acceptance of alternative values.
  3. Sex education is taught in the “cool condition” of a classroom where children can say, “Yes, I’ll be smart,” but things change in “hot conditions.”  Children may be informed in the classroom but, because their pre-frontal cortex is not fully developed, they possess neither the reasoning skills nor good judgment necessary to take command over feelings or peer pressure in the heat of the moment.  (Dr. Miriam Grossman defines “cool” and “hot” conditions in her book, You’re Teaching My Child What?)
  4. Sex education removes the natural and protective covering of modesty.  After their sin, God covered Adam and Eve’s embarrassment with far more than a bikini.  He covered their shame with the promise of Christ’s Robe of Righteousness.  Putting boys and girls together in a classroom for an intimate discussion of “human sexuality” makes children vulnerable by stripping away modesty and stirring up self-awareness and curiosity.
  5. A goal of sex education is to get young people “comfortable with their bodies” or their “sexuality,” therefore, it should come as no surprise when scantily-clad girls approach the Lord’s Table much to the discomfort of pastors offering the Sacrament (or other gentlemen present).  Too many girls are no longer embarrassed but, indeed, “comfortable” with drawing attention to themselves at the mall, on the beach, socializing, or even in church.  In what way does this help a boy or man maintain chaste thoughts?  (A helpful resource is the Bible study Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up available from CPH Publishing.)
  6. Sex education is a utopian lie.  Secular sex education is built on the foundation of evolution and a worldview that opposes the Biblical worldview.  Instruction in purity is built on the Word of the Creator and Redeemer.  Christian educators may want children to grow comfortable with the beauty of God’s creation; to recover the Garden experience, but we’re not in the Garden anymore.  Sin changed our hearts and the way we look at one another.  Jesus says, “Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matthew 15:19).  Do we better equip children to fight the battle with sexual immorality by telling them they are “sexual beings” – or immortal souls?  Captive to their sensual nature – or able to “control [their] own body in holiness and honor” (1 Thessalonians 4:4)?
  7. Christian sex education, most specifically, tantalizes the child; in other words, it presents something desirable to the view, but continually keeps it out of reach.  It gives children much information about sex and “sexuality,” but then tells them to wait for marriage until after college and an established career.  Does this seem cruel?
  8. Sex education may tempt into idolatry or self-worship.  It’s “my identity.”  It’s “my need.”  It’s “my right.”
  9. Sex education may, unintentionally, get adolescents “hooked,” but then leave them “unprotected.”  (Hooked by Joe McIlhaney, M.D. & Freda McKissic Bush, M.D.; Unprotected by Miriam Grossman, M.D.)
  10. Sex education might change a child’s attitude toward God.  No matter what our sin, God is always our Father; we are always His children in Christ.  But, if a child is given all manner of sexual information before he or she can make wise use of it in its proper time, then might the child ask, “What kind of loving God would create me with all these sexual desires and then tell me not to fulfill them?”  Have we set the child up for frustration and anger toward God?  Might the child ask, “What does it matter what I do if I am assured of Jesus’ love and forgiveness?”  Might a child re-define God according to his or her perspective of what is “right” or “wrong” depending upon the situation?

What words of hope are there for the Christian who has been deceived?  Who may have trusted sex education as something helpful for children?  If we have built on wrong foundation or passed on a half-truth or lie, there is hope!  King David sinned against God and hurt other people.  But, with broken and contrite heart, David acknowledged his sins to the Lord (Psalm 32:3-5).  He received God’s free grace and forgiveness.  Leaving sinful ways behind, we become a “vessel for honorable use” (2 Timothy 2:23).

In Christ, we are “vessels for honorable use.”  Wow!  This identity does indeed raise us above that of just a “sexual being.”  Imagine the change in thought.  Word.  Behavior.

(Excerpted from Faithfulness: One Child at a Time,
a work nearing completion by Linda Bartlett.
A PDF file is available at Issues. Etc., or Titus 2 for Life.)

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Sexualization of Children: The Sex Ed Connection

Posted in Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , on July 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Americans are waking up to the fact that we have sexualized our children.  They are appalled by the sensual dress of girls starting at early ages. They are worried about boys’ early addictions to pornography and that pedophiles lurk around many a dark corner.

I’m convinced, after 30 years of careful study, that sex talk and instruction has made boys and girls less safe.  More vulnerable.  The “sex talk” and images of TV, movies, and the internet threaten the physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness of the youngest generations.

But, how many of us are willing to admit that we’re part of the problem?  That we may have unintentionally broken down the wall of innocence to leave boys and girls more vulnerable to the pull of the world and their own human flesh?

Do you think that years of sex education, even for the best of intentions, could have anything to do with the sexualization of children?  Do you think that sex talk can raise curiosity?  Tantilize?  Stir up images?  Create a comfortableness with their fickle heart and deceptive flesh?

Let’s think about what happens in the sex ed classroom.  Boys and girls are rarely taught separately.  Beginning at a young age, these boys and girls are subjected to sex talk.  This sex talk is necessary, or so some say, because we are “sexual from birth.”

But, who said we are “sexual from birth?”  Well, o.k., maybe it wasn’t God, but we are “sexual beings,” aren’t we?  Don’t our children need to hear the “right” kind of sex talk?  Sexually educated (the “right” way), won’t they be better protected from teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?

What is the “right” way?  Is it the way we perceive it?  Educating the way we thought we should (including 30+ years of Christian sex education), do we have more or less teen pregnancy?  STDs?  Teen depression?  Abortion?  Cohabitation? Single parents?

Some people don’t like it when I refer to sex education as a form of child abuse.

Last year, an article of mine entitled “Child Abuse” was published.  The purpose was to help the Christian community recognize that we’ve let unbelieving neighbors in the land influence our teachings.  We have adapted worldly techniques and then attempted to wrap Jesus around them.  (He can’t and won’t.)  The article angered a Christian sex educator.  That anger, observed my husband, motivated me to bring order to some random notes and research.  If you will allow me to say so, I believe the Spirit was whispering: It is time.  Gather your years of experience and observations together into a helpful resource.

That resource is, for now, entitled Faithfulness: One Child at a Time.  It is a collection of questions and answers on sex education versus instruction in purity for Christian dialogue.  I’ve been encouraged by honest “editors.”  Perhaps it will soon become clear what should be done with it.

Last week, Todd Wilken and Jeff Schwartz invited me to discuss parts of the booklet on Issues, Etc.  You can find that interview here (see July 17).  Better than the interview is the PDF format which Issues, Etc. included for anyone who wants to explore some reasons for a dangerously sexualized culture.  Getting to the root of the problem, we are better able to provide a different kind of instruction.  A different kind of mentoring.  Speaking of mentoring, you may also find the document at Titus 2 for Life.

Over the next few days, I hope to post some excerpts from Faithfulness: One Child at a Time.  I’ll begin with the reasons why sex education – in or out of the church – might very accurately be labeled sex abuse.  Both Scripture and science concur.

Oh.  And there’s this to remember.  Perhaps we’ve been an advocate of sex education because we were deceived.  Fearing for our children, we may have put our trust in a particular theory or so-called expert.  Wrong thinking can be left in the past.  Truly sorry for ways we may have unintentionally brought harm, we are reconciled to God in Christ.  His Word gives us all we need to do battle with the world for the sake of our sons and daughters.

We engage in that battle by being distinctively different from the world.  Are you up for the challenge?

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Stonestreet Writes on “Sisters and Daughters”

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , on July 20, 2012| Leave a Comment »

What follows is an article by John Stonestreet published July 19 in Breakpoint.  I was going to quote John, but you need to read his article in its entirety.  Thank you, John, for sharing the experiences of Timothy Dalrymple and Martin Daubney — for the sake of our sons and daughters.

Writing at Patheos.com, Timothy Dalrymple tells perhaps a familiar story for many: “I first saw pornography by flashlight in an underground fort I had built with my brother and friends,” he said.

When he first looked at those pictures at nine years old, Dalrymple says they were “seared into his mind.” And the way he viewed women was deeply changed.

He explains, “It was not the last time I would see pornography, or naked women when I shouldn’t…Whether they’re photos in magazines, images on the internet, scenes in movies, or stolen glances, their imprint sinks deep into the male mind, it shapes its patterns of thought, and remains there for years, even decades. You cannot unsee them…”

But Dalrymple says all of that changed when he became the father of a little girl. The images remained, but he was forced to ask himself a painful question: What if these images were my child?

That’s the same question Martin Daubney, longtime editor of the British magazine “Loaded,” asked himself when he became a father in 2009. Last month in the UK Daily Mail he told the story of how he spent eight years pushing this “soft porn” magazine to raunchier extremes to compete with rival publications and the internet.

He thought of his work as “harmless fun,” and dismissed his critics as “party-poopers.”

But when his son was born three years ago, Daubney had a crisis of conscience.

“It…changed my views so forcibly that within a year I’d quit a dream job… I started seeing the women in my magazine not as sexual objects, but as somebody’s daughter. To think that girls who posed for our magazine had once had their [diapers] changed, had once been taught to take their first steps and had once been full of childlike hope…it was almost heartbreaking.”

After Martin quit his job and began devoting more time to raising his son, things became even clearer.

“I am ashamed at the way I used to defend the magazine…” he says. “When I edited Loaded, I’d often get asked ‘Would you want your daughter to appear in topless photos?’ and I’d squirm, but I’d feel obliged…to say ‘yes’.”

If asked the same question today, Daubney says he’d have a different answer: “Not on my life.”

Becoming parents drastically changes the way we think about things like pornography because we’re forced to remember that these de-humanized objects are those made in the image of God. As Chuck Colson used to say, and my colleague Eric Metaxas points out in his book on Bonhoeffer, the first step to destroying or abusing human life is always dehumanization.

And that’s why one of the great tasks of the church is to continue sounding wake-up calls whenever we can — to each other and to the culture. Lives are at stake.

And that’s exactly what was done recently by Robert George, co-author of the Manhattan Declaration, and Muslim professor Shaykh Hamza Yusuf in a letter they co-authored to hotel chain executives. In it, they petition for the removal of pornographic movies from hotels by asking the same question Dalrymple and Daubney asked.

“We beg you to consider the young woman who is depicted as a sexual object in these movies… Would you be willing to profit from her self-degradation if she were your sister…[or] your own beloved daughter?”

George and Yusuf are putting a face to pornography, and reminding us that those depicted aren’t just images but real people; and it becomes infinitely harder for us to use them for our selfish pleasure once we see that.

To read this letter, come to BreakPoint.org. And I’ll also link you to today’s “Two-Minute Warning” video. In it, I deal with how deeply pornography and other aspects of our culture’s sexual brokenness have victimized women, and men. It’s part two of our four-part series.

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Sexuality & the War on Women

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , on July 19, 2012| 2 Comments »

My left-leaning “sisters” claim there is a “war on women.”  They’re right about the war, but they’re confused about who is waging it and why.

John Stonestreet, writing for Breakpoint, quotes from The Screwtape Letters.  (It is, I believe, my most favored work of C.S. Lewis.) “In an especially prophetic chapter,” notes Stonestreet, “Uncle Screwtape explains to his demon nephew Hell’s strategy for using imagery to derail human sexuality: ‘We have engineered a great increase in . . . the apparent nude (not the real nude) . . . It is all a fake, of course; the figures in the popular art are falsely drawn; the real women in bathing suits or tights are actually pinched in and propped up to make them appear firmer and more slender than nature allows a full-grown woman to be.  As a result we are more and more directing the desires of men to something which does not exist.’  If there’s a more perfect summary of how our culture views women,” writes Stonestreet, “I haven’t found it.”

Our culture’s perspective on women opposes God’s.  I sometimes trip over myself in the excitement of sharing the truth: We are creations of the holy God… real women in all sizes, shapes, and colors.

Often, I quote from the book What A Young Woman Ought to Know written by Mary Wood-Allen, M.D.  I found it in my grandmother’s collection.   Dr. Allen, a physician in the late 1800s and early 1900s, wrote, “The reason we admire the tapering waist is because we have been wrongly educated.  We have acquired wrong ideas of beauty.  We have accepted the ideals of the fashion-plate rather than those of the Creator.”  Then, she detailed the corset, a hideous contraption worn by women — pre or post pregnancy — who coveted a 17 inch waist.

The corset shaped a woman’s body so that a man would be attracted.  But, at what price?   Dr. Allen wrote that Hiram Powers, a great sculptor, once attended an elegant party where he was observed watching a beautifully dressed and fashionable woman.  A friend noticed, and said to Powers, “What an elegant figure she has!”  “Well,” said Powers, “I was wondering where she put her liver.”  As a sculptor, Powers had studied the human body.  He knew that some internal organs, stomach included, had to be displaced in order to create that tapering waist.

A corseted waist made breathing so difficult it was not unusual for a woman to faint.   Yet, it was viewed by the culture as a way to increase beauty.  False beauty.

The corset.  How barbarous!  Now, think our culture.  Bulimia.  Anorexia.  Piercings.  Tats.  Cosmetic surgeries.  Girls pinched in, propped up, and covered only by fig leaves.  All of this is addictive.  All of this is false.

Focusing on sexuality, we mis-shape the image our youngest women have of themselves.  We deceive them into becoming “fake” women.

Only later in life did I realize that my Barbie doll, if a real woman, wouldn’t be able to stand.  Top heavy and with pencil-thin waist, she would fall face down.  How embarrassing.  More than that, what a sad and dangerous mistaken identity.

For many years, I’ve listened to women tell me about the sorrows and false hope of their abortion experience.  There is an identity issue long before the choice of abortion.   These women have helped me understand what happens when we see ourselves from the world’s perspective rather than God’s.

Wrongly educated and believing the lie, men and women are stripped of true identity.

More than sexual beings, we are human beings – male or female – with the attributes of our Creator.  We are each His special possession designed for the purpose of living a life that reflects those attributes.  We are more than bodies, but heads to think and souls that never die.

There is something wrong and potentially dangerous about being defined as a “sexual being.”  Yes, we have sexual thoughts and desires.  But, what if we never marry?  Are we less of a person?  No!  And, if we do marry, but our bodies don’t function as we think they should, are we “junk?”  No!

It is most certainly true that we procreate sexually, but again, what happens if we never marry or can’t have biological children of our own?  Are we mis-fits?  No!  Jesus tells us that there is no marriage in heaven.  Oh my!  Then, do we become floating, bodiless souls?  Angels?  No!  And no!  We maintain our identity as God’s magnificent and beautiful creation.  Our identity as His priceless possessions never changes.  From the moment God thought of us right through eternity.  Can this change the way we see ourselves?  Yes.  The choices we make?  Yes. The life we live?  Oh, yes.

Never once does God tell us to stop being a male or female, but He does tell us to guard against sensuality.  To not let sexual thoughts and desires determine every behavior.  God designed male and female to fit perfectly together in marriage, but He said: Have no other gods before Me.  Might it be that obsession on sexuality is putting something else before God?

There is a “war on women.”  (Therefore, on men, too.)  Dear parents!  Which of us wants to put a daughter at risk?  To sexualize her… and tantalize boys and men?  To distort both male and female ideas of what real women are actually like?  To deceive all the way to the pharmacy… the abortion clinic… or where after that?

Resources for you to consider:
Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up
(a ten-lesson Bible study for girls) (Available here)
Titus 2 for Life, a mentoring ministry

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Sliding, Not Deciding

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Parenting & Education, Relationships, tagged , , , , on July 18, 2012| 1 Comment »

My friend, Allie, has made an investment.  The cost is too great, she thinks, to disconnect from that investment.

Am I speaking about Allie’s financial affairs?  No.  I’m referring to matters of her heart and soul.  Allie is cohabiting.  She has invested the greater part of her very being to a man not her husband.  Why?

There are many reasons why Allie continues to live with her boyfriend.  She has bonded with her partner.  She told me he isn’t the Christian she’d like him to be.  He isn’t protecting her virtue like he should.  He doesn’t have the qualities she would choose in a husband nor is she convinced that he should the father of her someday children.  But, she is “one” with him.  She has bonded.  What Allie doesn’t realize is that oxytocin and her amygdala have paralyzed her good judgment.  Hormonal chemicals and the “feeling” part of her brain are playing with the strings of her heart.

The concept of marriage frightens both Allie and her boyfriend.  Allie’s parents are divorced.  Her boyfriend’s parents are also divorced.  In their circle of friends and relatives, there are few models of faithful and working marriage.  “Living together” is just “what you do” to “find out if you really get along.”  Or, “living together” first is a “good way to avoid divorce.”  So, Allie and her boyfriend are just “doing what everyone else” seems to be doing.

Allie wants to believe that her boyfriend might change.  What is changing, however, is how she sees him.  Early in our visits, Allie explained how uneasy she was with her boyfriend’s need to control her, his sudden bursts of anger, and his avoidance of discussions about faith.  Over time, Allie began offering excuses for his negative and often wrongful behavior.  What is also changing is Allie’s perspective on God.  She wants me to remind her of her identity as a daughter of God in Christ.  She knows God loves her and that she’ll always be His child.  But, because she is living in a relationship that cannot please God, she is making God fit into her world.

So, how did Allie find herself in a place she really doesn’t want to be?  She longs for home and family, but has no husband.  She knows she isn’t in a healthy relationship, but worries that there might not be another.  She and her boyfriend sometimes speak about marriage, but her comments to me reveal that Allie’s standards for her live-in partner are actually lower than they are for her some-day husband.  Why is this happening?

Allie has done what researchers call “sliding, not deciding.”  Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist at the University of Virginia, explains.  “Moving from dating to sleeping over to sleeping over a lot to cohabitation can be a gradual slope, one not marked by rings or ceremonies or sometimes even a conversation.  Couples bypass talking about why they want to live together and what it means.”

There’s something else.  Allie and her boyfriend have different, but unspoken, agendas.  A woman may view living together as verification that a man cares about her and living together, as much as she may dislike it, is a step toward marriage.  She may even think that by giving her man what he seems to want, he will, in turn, want to marry her.  But, a man may see living together as a way of testing a relationship or even postponing the commitment of marriage.  And, if a woman is willing to fulfill his physical desires without a ring, why jump into commitment until, well, maybe until there are children to consider.  Dr. Jay writes that “this gender asymmetry is associated with negative interactions and lower levels of commitment even after the relationship progresses to marriage.”

Couples who cohabit before marriage may want to avoid divorce, but that’s not the reality.  Dr. Jay notes that “couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages – and more likely to divorce – than couples who do not.  These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect.”

Sliding into an unmarried-but-want-to-be-married state wouldn’t be a problem for Allie if sliding out was easy.  But, Dr. Jay explains that Allie is “locked in.”  She’s “signed up for a credit card with 0 percent interest.  At the end of 12 months when the interest goes up to 23 percent [Allie feels] stuck because [her] balance is too high to pay off.”  For Allie, being “locked in” decreases the likelihood that she will search for, or adjust to, another option.  “The greater the setup costs,” explains Dr. Jay, “the less likely we are to move to another, even better, situation, especially when faced with switching costs, or the time, money, and effort it requires to make a change.”

For some, living together seems fun.  Economical.  Safe.  Allie also perceives it as better than living at home (after all, she’s in her 20s) or with a girlfriend.  Allie once told me she was trying to “nest” in her boyfriend’s apartment, but when I asked her whose bed she was sleeping in she whispered, “His.”  Not “ours.”

As time goes by, Allie more stubbornly defends her living arrangement.  Why?

Because Allie’s investment is too high.  In her mind, perhaps too high to disconnect.  Too high to re-evaluate her standards.  Too high to wait patiently for a man who values her enough to say “I do . . . until death do us part.”  There are no children, yet; but, should Allie become pregnant, then what?  Will she settle for whatever?  Will she marry the man she says doesn’t have the qualities a child should have in a father?

Allie, like all men and women who cohabit and then, perhaps, slide rather than decide, seems stuck.  But, I know Allie.  She tears up when I remind her that she is the daughter of God because of what Jesus has done for her.  She says she is always encouraged by our visits.  She wants to believe she has a future of hope.  So, I will continue to remind her, whenever I can, that she has the ability to choose the father of her children.  She has the strength — promised from Jesus Himself – to leave bad habits behind and start fresh.

After all, Jesus’ investment in Allie is much higher than any investment she has ever – or will ever – make.  Jesus invested all He had for the sake of Allie’s soul.

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President, Pentagon & Schools

Posted in Citizenship, Culture Shifts, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Vocation, tagged , , , , , on July 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Mr. President, isn’t it your duty to do all you do in the best interests of the future of this country?  Aren’t children the greatest natural resource this country has?

Pentagon officials, isn’t it your duty to guard the citizens of this country from those who would bring harm to us?

School administrators, isn’t it your duty to respect the role of parents and instruct their children in ways that will build a vibrant and thriving society?

Then, why o why, do you celebrate gay pride?

There can be no pride in any behavior that endangers health, marriage, home and family, the nation’s security, or the lives of children — America’s greatest natural resource.

There can be no pride in immoral gay behavior any more than there can be pride in immoral heterosexual behavior.

In what way does “it’s my right,” “I’ll do as I please,” “I just have to be who I am” behavior help develop sound character in children?

Are those who insist on teaching “tolerance” for homosexual – or heterosexual – behavior to children K-12 interested in guarding the innocence and well-being of this nation’s sons and daughters?  Or are they more interested in some other agenda?

Mr. President, you have celebrated “gay pride.”  You see it as an expression of diversity.  At what price?

Pentagon officials, you have celebrated “gay pride.”  You see it as, well, I’m not sure how you see it.  I don’t know how messing around with issues of “sexuality” makes for a stronger national defense.

School officials, you have opened the door to ideologies and agendas that have nothing to do with nurturing stronger minds, healthier bodies, and hopeful futures.

It isn’t too late to apologize… and do better for the sake of the children.

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History & Gay Pride

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged , , , , on July 10, 2012| 1 Comment »

In Bible class, we’ve been studying history as revealed through Genesis.  Last Sunday, we considered the angel’s visit to Sodom and Gommorah.  They came to rescue Lot, the nephew of Abraham, before destroying the cities.  Why were these cities marked for destruction?  “Because the outcry against Sodom and Gommorah is great and their sin is very grave” (Genesis 19:20).  How grave was their sin?  Let me quote from verses 4-5: “. . . [T]he men of the city, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house.  And they called to Lot, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight?  Bring them out to us, that we may know them.”  Know them?  Yes, like Adam “knew” or was “one with” his wife.  Except, in the case of all these men, there could never be a natural and “good fit.”

Lot, the husband and father of the one apparent believing family in Sodom, was so desperate to prevent the sin of sodomy upon his guests — God’s own angels — that he offered his daughters to the begging men.  For those who think this one through, I don’t need to say anymore.

It is a fact that archeologists and geologists have discovered the charred remains of Sodom and the surrounding cities.  I’ll leave it to you to believe — or doubt — that God really did destroy the cities.  I choose to take the author of Scripture at His word.  “Then the Lord rained on Sodom and Gomorrah sulfur and fire from the Lord out of heaven” (Genesis 19:24).  When Lot gathered up his wife and daughters, his sons-in-laws thought he was jesting.  They didn’t take his warning seriously.  Martin Luther observed, “The nearer the world is to destruction, the smugger it is.”

Have we grown smug?  I think so.  Unbelievers completely disregard the reality of Sodom and its particular evil.  Christians who have been deceived by the world and their own weak flesh observe that what happened at Sodom was the lack of hospitality.  But, as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, I trust that Sodom was destroyed because the True God cannot remain patient with the distortion of His creation — or the idol worship of ourselves — forever.

With Sodom in mind, I am going to do something I would prefer not doing.  Lest anyone think we have not fallen to the state of that historic city of Sodom, you might want to view for yourself the photos of the recent gay pride parade and festival in Philadelphia.  If you can bear it, take note of the involvement of children.

Truly, I am saddened, no, sickened to have to draw anyone’s attention to these photos.  But, our eyes must be open.  We must warn against anything that separates people from God.  We cannot simply turn our backs on each other.

Those who boast in their “gay pride” are real people.  Many of them are hurting people with stories that would break our hearts.  Some of them have been abused.  Some are confused.  And, yes, some have willingly chosen to mock their Creator.  As caring people who are called to follow Christ, we must see what is happening.  Such perversion of creation does not glorify God.  It cannot build a generation of hope.  We are needed to speak truth.  To stand against evil.  To love the repentant neighbor caught in sin. To gently lead out of sin to a new life in Christ.

So, view the following. Then decide where you will take your stand.  Will it be on His Word… or the word of the deceiver?

http://americansfortruth.com/2012/06/21/philadelphia-gay-pride-parade-and-festival-feature-lewd-acts-porn-booth-sadomasochists/#more-11937

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Not Slaves to Wrong Behavior

Posted in Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged , , , , , on July 1, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Am I really a “victim of circumstances?”  Is it helpful to blame others for what might be wrong in my life?  Is it helpful to excuse my failures and faults by viewing them as “inherited traits”?  Am I a slave to wrong behavior?

No.

I look to the Law for my warning.  The Law of God’s Word explains my sinful condition.  It warns me away from wrong choices and behavior.  Then, when I feel overwhelmed and discouraged by my wrong choices, I look to the Gospel.  I see that change is possible in Christ.  I discover that the Holy Spirit enables me to modify my own character, tendencies and habits so that I can pass on to my children and grandchildren something better.  I take hope in the fact that doing good things — the things that please God — is transmissible.

It is easy to excuse my poor behavior by claiming that I’ve inherited a “bad” trait.  But, this is to say: I am a slave.  I have no opportunity to acquire freedom.  This is just who I am.

This is what Satan and the world would have me believe.  But, I don’t buy it.

It is true that under the Law of God I am chained to hopelessness because of my rebellious and sinful condition.  But, under the Gospel, my chains are broken.  I am set free in Jesus Christ to live differently.  To resist evil and do good.   To learn from mistakes and not repeat them.  To perhaps fail again but then, in Christ, start new every morning.

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Acting Our Age: Priceless!

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Parenting & Education, tagged , , , , on June 25, 2012| 2 Comments »

Every younger generation benefits from the wisdom of sages. Too bad so many of today’s could-be-sages are distracted by the fountain of youth.

There’s something very sad and, honestly, quite unattractive about mothers who try to compete with their daughters.  With fathers who would rather be “best buds” than dads to their sons.

Granted, the men and women of my generation have been long schooled to obsess on our bodies and, whatever the cost, maintain the appearance of youth.  But, what does this do to our minds?  What is the price paid by children?  Grandchildren?  Children in our neighborhoods?

Every younger generation deserves the wisdom and experience that is most naturally mentored by an older generation.  But, in this present culture, we parents and grandparents seem to resist acting our age.  Isn’t this rather selfish?  If we’re absentee from the role of mentor, to whom are we abdicating?

The older generation hasn’t evolved, says the world.  So, girls!  Boys!  Follow your heart!  Listen to your instincts!  Rubbish!   How typical of the world to offer deceptive counsel.  But, people who call themselves “Christian” should know better.  We should value the wisdom that comes with age.  Experience.  Spiritual maturity.

As I was preparing the keynote address for a women’s conference, I was drawn to passages from 1 Timothy 5.  There, the Apostle Paul is speaking to young Timothy like a father.  He is inspired by the Holy Spirit to offer instructions for the church.  Something the church is called to do is honor the widows, especially those who are truly left alone.   What got my attention was the distinction made between an “older” and “younger” widow.  Verse 9 notes that a widow is eligible for church assistance if she is not less than 60 years old.  The one who has been a faithful wife of one husband, has a reputation for good works, has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of saints, and has cared for the afflicted is considered to be a wise woman who won’t bring shame to the congregation.

But, what about a younger widow; a woman less than 60 years of age?  The household of God is to encourage her to marry and manage her household; if possible, to have children.  Why the clear distinction of age here?  Because, as real life has a way of proving out, younger women are more captive to their passions.  They are more tempted to romantic desires, idleness, and gossip or saying things they should not.  They are more easily deceived by worldly trends and led away from Jesus Christ.

What do you think of that?  Does this make sense to you?

God’s Word consistently through Old and New Testament reminds the older generation to mentor the younger.  The Creator of life entrusts children to parents; not to their peers.  He wants parents and grandparents to tell children and grandchildren about the wonders of God’s work.  This includes all the lessons learned over the course of time and in the midst of challenges.  So, when a man or woman refuses to accept their age, resists learning from past mistakes, and clings to the foolishness of youth, woe to the young ones in their charge.

As for me?  Well, I admit I don’t like the gravity of age.  My head, after all, still thinks creatively.  Enthusiastically.  Optimistically.  Laughter is good for my soul – and others.

But, given to me are priceless years.  Years of experience.  Years of lessons often learned the hard way.  Years of seeing God at work in my life.  Why would I want to keep that all to myself?  Where is the shame in acting my age?

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The President and Gay Pride

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Parenting & Education, Relationships, Vocation, tagged , , , on June 17, 2012| Leave a Comment »

President Obama has been celebrating June as “Gay Pride month.”  He and his wife, Michelle, hosted a LGBT reception at the White House.  He stated that while some Americans are still “evolving on the issue,” he and Michelle “have made up their minds on this issue.”

The President often refers to himself as a Christian.  I wonder.  Does he believe that God has changed His mind about the practice of sodomy?  Is God “evolving?”  Will He soon be as enlightened as the president?

Mr. President, do you have confidence in a god who changes his mind?  Does it give you peace of mind to think that the Creator is “evolving” to be as enlightened as His creation?

Something more troubles me.  Why would we want to set aside a month that celebrates sexual behavior?  Any sexual behavior?  What kind of civilization does that?

Think of it.  “Gay pride month.”  Let’s be honest and call it what it is.  Pride in being a man who is sexually attracted to another man.  But, why stop there?  Why not set aside a month for “man-boy pride?”  Or, let’s just keep it “normal” and celebrate “man with woman pride.”  Do you follow what I’m saying?  We’ve become a culture that wants to celebrate sexual behavior.  The right to sexual behavior.  Unlimited, prideful, sexual behavior… no matter the consequences that follow.

How does this come to be?  How is it that a U.S. President can comfortably set aside a month of the year to celebrate “gay pride?”  To go on record in support of “marriage” between two women or two men?  This can happen only when the created raises itself above the Creator.  When we worship at the altar of self.  When we puff with pride and live the way we please as “sexual beings.”

This is not how God defines us.  God calls us human beings created in His image as male or female.  To be human is to be a steward of all that God has made, including our own bodies, minds and souls.  A good steward does not seek after his or her own desires, but lives in the way that glorifies God.  All of humanity is better for it.

The sexual component of humanity relates to completeness and procreation.  It was “not good” for man to be alone.  Man needed a helper.  No animal or other man would be suitable helpers.  Only woman would be a good steward together with man.  Equal, yet different, male and female are the two eyes of the human race.   And, from their procreational act of sex, life goes on.  In the perfect fit of the sexual act, man and woman become more than stewards but also fathers, mothers, and children.  It is because of sex that we can celebrate not our “gay” pride or even our “heterosexual” pride, but family life with its anniversaries of weddings and birthdays.  It is within family that sons and daughters learn the patience and selflessness that influences society and generations to come.

The Fall into sin complicated everything for stewards, male and female.  It changed our relationships with each other and with God.  After sin, and throughout Old and New Testaments, God tells us to flee from sensuality and the ways of our sinful flesh, but never once does He tell us to flee from our identity as male or female stewards.  In fact, out of pure mercy for His fallen creation, He gives male and female a more noble identity as treasures of Jesus Christ.  And that, Mr. President, is what we are.  Treasures of Christ who gave His life as the sacrifice for our sin. Think of how that should affect our behavior.

And so, Mr. President, please take care not to puff with pride.  Not “gay” pride; no, not human pride.  Instead, think of how you and your wife can be the best stewards over all that has been entrusted to you.  Think of your own daughters and how they came to be.

Mr. President, you may have evolved in your thinking.  But, what if God does not see this — or any other issue — the way you do?

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