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Posts Tagged ‘behavior’

In his article, “Are We Dumb and Getting Dumber?,” Regis Nicoll writes, “Distinguishing between science and faith is problematic, given that there is more than a little measure of faith in science; especially, materialistic science:

  • Faith that nature is a mechanism that can be explained by physical laws,
  • Faith that those laws are universal and unchanging,
  • Faith that our senses reliably perceive the world as it really is,
  • Faith that our minds accurately interpret those perceptions, and
  • Faith that the origin, diversity, and complexity of nature is the unguided product of chance and necessity.”  (Breakpoint – Published May 6, 2011)

Nicoll continues, “Similarly, discriminating conventional wisdom from actual wisdom is difficult-to-impossible, given their considerable overlap.  The conventional wisdom that ‘what goes up, must come down,’ is congruent with the actual wisdom of Newton’s laws.  In the same way, conventional beliefs about things like murder, cruelty and rape accord with the universal conviction of their actual immorality.”

Nicoll notes that, “Our real challenge is not discerning between such false dichotomies but discerning science from science fiction and truth from falsehood.  When a frog-turned-prince tale is dismissed as myth until the time frame is changed from a bibbidi-bobbidi-boo instant to 150 million years, it signals a discernment deficit.  When the time frame is extended to a few billion years to spin a neutrino-turned-prince tale, it signals a discernment crisis.”

Who are the “gatekeepers” of truth?  Nicoll recalls a NOVA special featuring an astrophysicist who stated, “We’re descended from neutrinos!”  Then, after a reverential pause, he added, “They’re our parents.”  (This… from an astrophysicist?  He’s joking, right?)  Nicoll writes, “The gatekeepers have spun many an imaginative yarn about how the universe came to be and how matter ‘went live.’  But despite the intellectual charm of creative neutrinos, cosmic inflation, multiverses, emergence, abiogenesis, and the like, their ever-inventive tales remain, and will always remain, just that: tales with no more claim to truth than those of a court astrologer.”

I came across Nicoll’s article in Breakpoint (5-6-11) while trying to respond to my agnostic friend.  He’s the one who threw into the “hopper of our discussion” the quote from William Inge (see Part I, previous post).   I explained to my friend that I am a builder of relationships.  I am a woman who, because of both facts and faith, accepts and finds joy in my defined role of “helper.”  My Biblical worldview defines my role in Genesis 2:18.  “The the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ ”  (The Hebrew word for “helper” is ezer, which elsewhere in Scripture also means “assistant” or “ally.”  Thus, my blog name ezerwoman.  In no way do I find “helper” to be inferior; rather, I find order, sanity, and hope in a chaotic, insane, and hopeless world.)  As a builder of relationships and a “helper,” I could have been blessed with a brain that easily processes scientific data and enjoys doing so.  But, no.  Such a brain belongs to my husband and sons.  Nevertheless, I do possess reason and logic.  My reason and logic agrees with Nicoll when it comes to these “gatekeepers of truth.”

Nicoll writes, “The idea that ‘in the beginning were neutrinos’ that went bump in the cosmos to form intelligent beings is as fantastic (more so, really) as the Mayan account that ‘in the beginning were only Tepeu and Gucumatz . . .[who] sat together and thought, and whatever they thought came into being.’ ”

Are we witnessing an intentional change in education?  Isn’t the proper goal of education to teach students how to think, not what to think?

“Intelligent design and Darwinism,” writes Nicoll, “are controversial theories that enjoy wide currency in the marketplace of ideas.  Teaching one theory to the exclusion of others, and without presenting its weaknesses along with its strengths, is indoctrination, not education.”

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I could always count on the questions.  After each presentation on purity, girls — often shy, sometimes bold — would ask questions.  About boys.  Themselves.  Relationships.  Love.  Mothers brought their daughters to these events, but often stayed in the background.

Mothers were also in the audiences of the “lifestyle show” Judy Hayen and I took on the road.  The event, titled “Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up,” gave opportunity to address the consequences of “sexy” dress, casual attitudes about intimacy, and risky behaviors.  Clothing is fun.  But, whose idea is it?  Why does the Designer of clothing say we need more than fig leaves?  Why shouldn’t a boys hand go under a girls clothes?  The “lifestyle” show concluded with the perfect dress: the white wedding dress and why we wait to wear it.  It wasn’t the girls but the mothers who had tears in their eyes.  I know, I know.  Wedding dresses bring tears of joy to many moms.  But, I believe I also saw tears of disappointment and regret.  I know the statistics.  Too many don’t wait to wear the white wedding dress because oxytocin, not necessarily love, makes us warm and tingly.

Dozens of women have shared their abortion choices with me.  These choices were made after a touch.  A kiss.  Then the procreative act.   Oxytocin flipped the love circuit in their female brain.  There is trust.   A bond.  But physical contact and the oxytocin response it generates can blind women to a bad relationships.  These women, years after their abortions, explain to me tears of  failure.  Psychological trauma.  Heartache.  Loss.  Spiritual grief.

What were women who became mothers — of living or dead children — told about oxytocin?  What choices did they make because they weren’t told?  What were the consequences?  Is there a reason to keep from our daughters and granddaughters knowledge about their bodies?  How they are designed to function?  And why?

We are not captive to mistakes of the past.  They are forgiven because of Jesus Christ.  His death and resurrection are victory over every sin.  All we need to do is be sorry for our sins and confess them to God.  Then, in Christ, we are set free.  We are new every morning.  In Christ, we have the hope of better choices.  This hope is for daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and a neighborhood of girls.

God made oxytocin because He loves life.  He created one man to bond with one woman in marriage for life.  He joins with husband and wife in the procreational act of sex to bring new life.  He entrusts each new boy or girl to the nurture and instruction of their mom and dad.  With all of this, there is a future. There is hope.

Seems to me all ezerwomen should be talking about this.

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Much dialogue followed the front page story and photo in my hometown newspaper.  What would one expect after reading the headline: “Mr. & Mr.”?  Discussions have been sane and civil.  No voices raised.  No anger.  Some disagreement, yes.  Concern, yes.  Disappointment, yes.  But,  no hateful words.

Then arrived in my mail a simple but hand-written note from Exodus International.  Exodus is a ministry for those leaving the homosexual lifestyle.  When others ask, “Is there hope?  Is change possible?,” Exodus follows the example of Christ by walking the journey with struggling people.  Exodus doesn’t just speak God’s Word.  It makes use of it.   Over a period of years, I have kept my eye on this organization, watching to see how they treat people.  How they respond to attacks from their opposition.  Who funds them.  Why they continue to exist.  I donate to this ministry, recommend them to others, and offer their resources.  Exodus takes prayer requests from those on their mailing list.  Following the “marriage” of the two young men in my community, I asked the Exodus staff to include these two men in their prayers.

A few days later, I received a hand-written note.  “Dear Linda,” it read, “Thank you so much for your support.  Today in our prayer time, we prayed for the two young men you mentioned in your community.  We will continue to lift you and your family up as well.  God bless!”  It was signed,  “In Christ’s name, Janine.”

Exodus took my prayer request seriously.  They “heard” and responded with a promise to rely not on themselves, but on God.  This personal note was evidence that Exodus takes the struggle of homosexuality seriously.  When this ministry speaks of “hope” and “change,” it speaks not in human terms, but Godly.  Exodus is bold in Jesus’ name because they have evidenced the hope that comes with changed behavior.  Exodus does not shame those they serve, but treats them with a compassion not unlike Jesus who reached out to include those who didn’t seem to fit this or that mold.

Too many people don’t want to believe that change in behavior is possible.  The ministry of Exodus is opposed by gay and lesbian advocacy groups.  But, the stories of men and women who have found hope in changed behavior witness to me of what happens when we stop resisting the Word of Christ and trust Him with our lives.

The media doesn’t sing the praises of Exodus and other ex-gay ministries.  But, if one is really interested in the souls of their neighbors, they might want to visit Exodus.

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The debate over boys and girls in contact sports continues.  With ears open, I hear good sense and hope for civilization in the comments of both men and women.  Here, as I promised, are some of those comments —

  • As a former high school wrestling coach, I see it this way.  If we are teaching young men to be pure until marriage, then wrestling a teenage girl (woman) is not appropriate or helpful.  Many wrestling holds require close contact with the opponent’s crotch or hips close together.  Tight holds across the chest or laying chest to chest are common.  If done in a high school hallway, it is considered groping, even if consensual.  If done without consent, it is sexual assault.  Putting on a pair of wrestling shoes doesn’t eradicate the moral overtones of the situation.
  • I know a girl wrestler who is well-endowed.  The boys enjoyed wrestling her.  She admitted that she liked the attention and ended up sleeping with a few of the boys.  In the name of equality, the system actually “used her” and made her more vulnerable.
  • My experience as an athletic trainer brings me to this: Outsiders looking in can say, “Boys!  Turn off your hormones,” or “You just don’t want to get beat by a girl!”  But, the fact is, boys are put in a very uncomfortable position when matched in a contact sport with a girl.  Also, girls are led to think they’re better than they really (physically) are because when a boy wrestles a girl he doesn’t wrestle the way he would against another boy.
  • Why do people think that boys and girls need to do the same things?  Or, if they do the same things, why do they need to do them together or in a competitive way?  Do parents really think that a boy wrestling a girl has no influence on his (or her) thinking?
  • Boys learn lessons from sports that help them later in life professionally in business and in working relationships with other men.   They learn what it means to work as a team.  Women participating with men in contact sports  mess with that camaraderie.
  • I was a tomboy, but I know there are some things we females should and shouldn’t do.  I’m disappointed when I witness situations where people are so absorbed in today’s “accepted” societal practices, but disregard simple things like respect, consideration for others, self-discipline, servitude and so on.  We are caught up in a “I deserve what I want, when I want it” mentality.
  • A reporter commented that Joel Northrup, the Iowa wrestler, was in need of “counseling” because he forfeited a match to a girl.  In reality, young Joel was exhibiting qualities of decency, integrity, and leadership.
  • Whether a person is a Christian or not, nature itself is not in favor of boy-girl wrestling.  The entire purpose of aggressive male sports is defeated when females participate.  Male sports with girls become games.  Games are fine for social events, but not for wrestling (or the military, for that matter).
  • Freedom requires that good men and women will stand up for what is right.  What is right?  It is found in God’s Word.  There is maturity in choosing right over winning worldly recognition.
  • I am reminded of a story.  A man opened the door for a woman behind him.  The woman snarled, “I suppose you are doing this because I am a lady!”  He replied, “No ma’am.  I’m doing this because I am a gentleman.”
  • There is nothing more liberating, right, and helpful to society than identifying and honoring the male and female differences created by God.

There is good sense… on the mat — and with all issues of life.  It comes when we begin to trust the Creator of male and female.

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Dennis Prager is a favorite author of mine.  Here are a few observations from his recent commentary in The Washington Times. I selected these because they speak to areas of my concern.  Prager writes:

  • “The left owns the language.  Married women are not to be referred to as ‘Mrs.’ but as ‘Ms.’  And the words ‘lady,’ ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ have largely gone to their graves.”
  • “One can only speak of male-female differences if the difference shows the female superior.  Thus to say women are innately more intuitive is perfectly acceptable, but to say men are innately more likely to excel at math is ‘sexist.'”
  • “A woman may reveal as much of her body as she wishes.  But if a man is perceived by a woman as looking too long at what she reveals, or if he comments on what she reveals, he may be fired from his job and/or sued for ‘sexual harassment.'”
  • “A woman may wear a miniskirt and crop-top, but a man may not have a calendar of women wearing miniskirts and crop-tops on his desk at work.  That constitutes sexual harassment and a ‘hostile work environment.'”

Thank you, Dennis Prager, for including these examples in your commentary “Put Totalitarian Mind Control in the Cross Hairs” (The Washington Times Weekly Edition, 2-7-11).  The behavior that follows such twisted thinking is discussed at great length during our Titus 2 Retreats.  Then, we encourage one another to

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths.  Rather train yourself for godliness . . . set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

(1 Timothy 4:7-12)

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Here are more pearls from my grandmother’s book.  (Once again, truth has a way of deflating the progressive thinker’s much inflated balloon.)

In What a Young Woman Ought to Know, Mrs. Mary Wood-Allen, M.D., writes that we are not only body and mind, but spirit (or soul).  Whether we’ve thought about this or not, the fact remains.  “No failure to recognize God as your Father changes His relationship to you.  No conduct of yours can make you any less His child.”

“Well,” you may say, “if that is so, what does it matter, then, what I do?  If disobedience or sin cannot make me less God’s child, why should I be good and obedient?”  Because… “your conduct changes your attitude toward Him.”

“The most worthy and dignified thing we can do,” wrote Dr. Wood-Allen, “is to recognize ourselves as God’s children and be obedient.  It is a wonderful glory to be a child of God . . . even the most ignorant or degraded have . . . divine possibilities.”

My grandmother’s choices and behavior evidenced that she was in a merciful relationship with her Heavenly Father.  And, no matter what anyone else thought of her, she knew she had “divine possibilities” because she was a child of God.

This woman physician from the late 1800s continues, “Being children of God puts on us certain obligations towards Him, but it also puts on God certain obligations towards us.  ‘What!’ you say: ‘God the Infinite under obligations to man, the finite?  The Creator under obligations to the created?’  Oh, yes.”

Human parents are under obligation to care for, protect, educate and give opportunities to their children.  In a similar way, God is obligated to do the same for His children.  The difference is, He fulfills these obligations perfectly.  All our earthly blessings are from Him.  Every good thing we have is a gift of love from our Creator and Heavenly Father.

Our life matters to God.  And, why wouldn’t it?  He created it!  He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for it!  And, as Dr. Mary Wood-Allen observes, “God takes such minute care of us that if for one second of time He would forget us, we should be annihilated.”  What does that say to you?  I know what it says to me.  And it pulls me down on my knees in humble, speechless gratitude.

But, if God is truly taking care of us, why does He allow failures, hardships and worries?  Sometimes, the things we call hard and cruel are actually little tumbles on our way to learning to walk.  A trial or difficulty in the school of life may be God’s way of opening our eyes to see that we need Him and can trust Him.

Our choices affect our attitude toward God.  The most dignified thing we can do is to recognize ourselves as God’s children and try to do those things that bring glory to Him.

It is a wondrous thing to be called a child of God.  It means we are heirs of God’s wisdom, strength, and glory.  It means that when we fail to trust and obey Him, we are still God’s child because of what Jesus did for us (Galatians 4:4-7).   Only a personal question remains:

As a child of God, how shall I choose to live?

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Gentlemen.  What words are there for you?  As a mom, I can speak to my sons about women.  I can describe feelings, emotions, and the complexities of my gender.  But, any wisdom and true instruction I have for men comes only from God.

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.  And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die'” (Genesis 2:15-17).

“. . . [T]he man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.  But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?'” (vv. 8-9).

God created man to be the head and steward of His creation.  It is to man that God gave the words of life and the warning away from death.  Man was to pass on the Word of Truth — to his wife, their children, and their children’s children.  Even though the woman was the first to disobey God, man was held responsible.  Such is the order of God’s creation.  Even after sin, God brings order out of chaos using the leadership of godly men.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  In the same way husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body” (Ephesians 5:25-30).

The husband is not to rule his wife, but to love her (Colossians 3:19).  St. Paul wrote more to the husband than to the wife because it is an opportunity to rejoice in the Gospel.  If a husband’s love for his wife is Christlike, he is willing to give up his very life for her (Galatians 2:20; Titus 2:14; 1 John 3:16).  St. Paul notes that the husband is the “head” in a marriage.  Perhaps it follows, then, that the wife is the “heart.”  One is not more important than the other; both are necessary for life.  Neither man nor woman honor God or themselves by asking: “What can I get out of this marriage?”  Instead, everything a husband  — or a wife — does should be a living illustration of Christ’s love.

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

Feminists may be offended by the expression “weaker vessel.”  But, as students of history, we do well to remember that the culture of the Apostle Peter’s time had little respect for women.  For this reason, the apostle was guided to choose his words with express care for women.  Physically, women are typically smaller in size and weaker in strength then men, which could make them vulnerable to abuse.  Peter admonishes husbands not to exploit a woman’s size and strength in unkind ways.  Viewing husband and wife through Biblical eyes, each was made to complement the other.  Both are heirs of God’s saving grace.

What about the unmarried man?  How is he to treat a girl or woman?  St. Paul prepares the young man Timothy for ministry with these words:

“Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:1-2).

A man is called by God to treat all people as Jesus did — as members of His own family (Matthew 12:46-50).  Here is a culturally-transforming opportunity for men.  Can you imagine how esteemed and safe women — and, therefore, children — would be if they were treated like mothers and sisters?

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How did we forget the meaning of vocation?

Gene Edward Veith, Jr. has done well to remind me.  I’m grateful.  He doesn’t know it, but he’s helped me to weave the teaching of vocation into Titus 2 for Life (www.titus2-4life.org ).   Gene Veith and I met when I was serving as President of Lutherans For Life.  We have mutual friends.   These days, I see his writings in many publications.  Good thing.  Through his many vocations, he is engaging the culture with the Biblical worldview.

His book, God at Work: Your Christian Vocation in All of Life (Crossway Books) and his recent article, “Arenas of Service” (WORLD,8-28-10) have been very helpful to me.  Somewhere in my instruction between home, catechism, and Bible classes, I’ve heard God’s call to live out my faith in whatever I do.  Of what good is my faith if it’s private or left in the pew?   Non-Christians often seem very committed to living out their particular belief.   But, many Christians act as if they’ve either forgotten or never been told what vocation really is.

After the Reformation, Christians held to three key teachings: the authority of Scripture, justification by faith in Jesus Christ, and the doctrine of vocation.  “Modern” and “progressive” thinkers work hard to ignore the first two.  As for the doctrine of vocation, well, it “faded from the church’s memory,” says Veith.

Vocation, as Veith explains, is like justification: It is God’s work.  Vocation is how God works through us.  God uses us to care for and govern His creation.  He uses our gifts and talents to make a difference.  We are called by God into vocations.

Vocation is more than a “job.”  Every Christian has multiple vocations.  Martin Luther, notes Veith, sorted them into four “estates,” or spheres of life that God established: the church, the household, the state, and what he called “the common order of Christian love.”

God calls His people to vocations in the church.  Pastors are called into the ministry.  God works through them to teach His Word, preside at His sacraments, and give spiritual care.  Laypeople are called, too.  They serve in human care, as elders or trustees, singing in the choir, teaching children, and caring for one another.

God calls His people to vocations in the family.  Marriage is a vocation.  Fatherhood and motherhood are vocations.  In fact, as Veith points out, being a brother or sister, a grandfather or grandmother, or nephew or niece are all vocations.

God calls His people to vocations in the state.   As citizens, we have responsibilities to our government and to our culture.  Some of us are called to serve in positions of government.  The United States is unique.  U.S. citizens, writes Veith, “have the unusual calling of being both subjects and rulers at the same time, since our democratic republic places the governing authorities themselves under the authority of the people who elect them.”  The Christian is to involve himself  in civic roles and cultural engagement.

The fourth vocation is “the common order of Christian love.”  God calls us to serve Him and others through our ordinary, everyday life and relationships with our neighbors.  Some may believe we serve God only by doing “church work,” but this isn’t what Luther and the other reformers taught.  We are not to withdraw from the world, but be engaged in it.  God transforms the culture through Christian men and women who use His Word in all areas of life.

We go to Divine Service on Sunday to find the forgiveness of Christ, feed on God’s Word, receive the Sacrament of Holy Communion, and grow in our faith.  Then, we go back out into the world — our families, neighborhoods, jobs, classrooms, voting booth, volunteer activities — to serve God by serving others.

Galatians 5:6 and 1 Timothy 1:5 remind us that the purpose of every vocation is to love and serve our neighbors.

Faith bears fruit in love.

“God doesn’t need our good works,” Veith quotes Luther, “but our neighbor does.”  Our relationship with God is based completely on His work for us in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.  But just as God is hidden in vocation, Christ is hidden in our neighbors.

As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me.

Matthew 25:40 reminds us that we love and serve God by loving and serving the people He puts into our lives — friends or strangers, easy to love or not, in good times or bad.

In some vocations we exercise authority.  But, think of how Jesus exercised His authority… He was a servant.

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

This Word of God found in Mark 10:42-45 makes me ashamed because, too often, it’s all about me.  In my selfishness, I sin against my vocation.

Faithful to God’s pro-life Word, Veith writes, “Vocation clarifies moral issues.  Mothers are called to love and serve their children, not abort them or abuse them.  Doctors are called to heal their patients, not kill them.  Leaders are called to love and serve those under their authority, not exploit and tyrannize them.”

Here’s something else.  “Some actions are sinful when done outside of vocation but good works when done within vocation.  We have no calling from God that would authorize having sex with someone to whom we are not married.  But within the vocation of marriage, sex is not only authorized, it becomes the means by which God creates a one-flesh union, engenders new life, and builds a family.”

Veith explains that “vocation has to do with the priesthood of all believers.  A priest is someone who performs a sacrifice.  We no longer need sacrifices for our sins, since Christ, our great High Priest, offered Himself as our sacrifice once and for all (Hebrews 9:26).  But, in light of that sacrifice, God calls us  (Romans 12:1)

. . . to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

We are not called to lord it over others nor are we called to obsess on self-fulfillment.  Vocation focuses away from self to others.

Fathers are living sacrifices for their families when they faithfully protect and provide even in weariness and frustration.  Mothers are living sacrifices for their families when they put their own feelings aside to encourage husbands and nurture children.  Workers on the job are living sacrifices when they do their best to serve both employer and customers.

Veith explains that “Christ, who is in vocation and in the neighbor, takes up all of these sacrifices, small or great, into His sacrifice.  And He loves and serves His creation by means of our love and service in our vocations.”

A Biblical understanding of vocation means that nothing we do to God’s glory is ordinary or insignificant.  Luther said that changing a child’s diaper is holy work.  In that vein, so is preparing a meal, changing a tire, looking after an unmarried aunt, being a good listener, doing homework, donating blood, sitting by the bedside of a dying spouse, being informed about candidates before election day, praying, training in purity, paying fair salary, and performing honest labor.  The list goes on… and on.

Our vocations are many.  God works through our vocations to serve others.  Trusting this, says Veith, changes the quality of what we do.  He’s right.  It changes the words we choose, the music we sing, the business we transact, the clothing we wear… even the table we set.

Thank you, Gene Edward Veith, for helping me review my vocations.  May God help me see every word and deed as opportunities to serve not self, but others.

Now, for the rest of you, move on over and sit a spell with The Blog of Veith www.geneveith.com

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