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Planned Parenthood: Oh, What a Web It Weaves

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2011| Leave a Comment »

What web does Planned Parenthood (PP) weave, its victims to deceive?

What is the deceit?  Who are the victims?  How is it funded?  Why?

The web begins to spin in public elementary schools.  It seems silly to help first graders plan parenthood, so perhaps something else is going on.  “Obstacles that make young people uncomfortable about themselves, their bodies and their relationships should be removed.”  Would that be parents? (“Manifesto” of PP, April 2001, CITIZEN, 7-01, p. 17)

More spinning.  “Society may frown on sex play between children, but we have to remember that society disapproves of a great many sexual acts that take place, and there are two sides to the story.”  (Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy, a member of Kinsey‘s research staff, 1981, p. 48 and 52)

More spinning.  “If [your parents] seem to fear your sexuality . . . you may feel you have to tune out their voice entirely.”  (Changing Bodies, Changing Lives by Ruth Bell, 1980)

More spinning.  “. . . Boys and girls who start having intercourse when they’re adolescents, expecting to get married later on, will find that it’s a big help in finding out whether they are really congenial or not . . . it’s like taking a car out for a test run before you buy it.”  (Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy, 1981, p. 117.  This and the two books above have been used by PP.)

Pause spinning.  Did you note when these textbooks were written?  Do you realize that as early as 1970, PP encouraged homosexuality as a way to reduce U.S. fertility?  So, should we be surprised that PP shared their key to the schoolhouse door with LGBT advocates?  Should we be surprised by the boldness of GLSEN, Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” program, and same-sex marriage proponents teaming up with PP in public schools?

More spinning.  Working hard to preserve “reproductive freedom,” PP disconnects procreation from sex.  In PP’s Young Woman’s Guide to Sexuality, girls learn “we are all sexual” and “sexual expression is one of our basic human needs, like water, food, and shelter.”  But, as Dr. Miriam Grossman asks, does PP mention that a girl is born with all the eggs she’ll ever have, and that when she turns thirty, her eggs do, too?

More spinning… and spinning.   Oh, my!  Our kids are sexually active!  (Does PP feign surprise?)  We can’t let children have children.  And, HIV/AIDS isn’t just for homosexuals anymore.  PP stands “ready to serve”.  Contraceptives all around!  Sixth grade girls practice putting condoms over the finger of sixth grade boys.  By freshman year, girls are on The Pill.  But, even after lessons on how to have sex without getting caught, pregnancy happens.

More spinning.  “These girls are much too young,” laments PP.  “They have college, careers and marriage ahead.  Let’s help them out of a difficult situation… by postponing their parenthood.”  In 2009, PP in the U.S. performed 332,278 surgical or RU-486 “home” abortions.  How many were on minor girls?  I’m not sure.  Parents aren’t always sure, either, because not every state requires parental notification.  Alternatives to abortion?  PP, last I knew, performed 134 abortions for every 1 adoption referral.

Certainly, the spinning stops here.  But, no.  Once a girl or young woman agrees to let PP help them and consents to an abortion,  she may be asked if she’d like to have “some good come out of a difficult situation.”  Fetal tissue “banks” stand ready to receive human embryos and, if a young woman is a certain number of weeks along in her pregnancy, she may choose to “donate.”  Human tissue “banks” don’t pay abortion clinics for the “products of conception.”  However, money may exchange hands for “handling, transportation, and/or storage.”  (WORLD, 8-13-11)

The web is tight.  Well financed.  Government is complicit in the deception and entrapment of our children.  PP is tax-payer funded.  SIECUS is tax-payer funded.  The California Teacher’s Association which supports the LGBT-friendly textbook is tax-payer funded.  The National Institutes of Health (NIH) which funds grants to fetal tissue distributors (WORLD, 8-13-11) is part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS); and, yes, is tax-payer funded.

The web is spun.  The child deceived and caught as prey.  The spinning continues night and day.  “Once I had an abortion, what did it matter?” a 40-something woman told me.  Her life, for many years, was a blur of promiscuity, alcohol, drugs, and two more abortions.  Until, one day, she heard the words, “The Spirit of the Lord . . . sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound” (Isaiah 61:1).

The web will be spun as long as the culture allows it.  But, one life at a time can be kept from the snare.  And, even after becoming prey, a single, precious life can be set free.  Free to begin again.  To heal.  To better navigate the journey.  To warn others away from the web.

The Failure of Sex Education is a short booklet written by L. Bartlett
for parents, educators, and church workers who want to protect children
from PP’s web.  Available from Lutherans For Life or CPH

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Child Protection

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , on July 29, 2011| 1 Comment »

There is a reason God’s Word speaks consistently and often about purity.  It is the best way to protect children in a fallen and sinful world.

We must never fool ourselves by saying we are teaching purity in sex education.  The two concepts don’t mix.  Education in sex is what it says it is.  Instruction in purity is quit different.  God never tells parents to educate children about sex, but to raise their sons and daughters in purity.  He equips parents to do this throughout all of Scripture.

You may think I’m quibbling with words.  But, I’m not.  Take the concepts for what they are.  Trace them to their sources.  Discover the original goal and intention of each.  Then follow the trail of consequences.

We all need to do better in protecting our children.  Many loving Christian parents, with their children’s best interests in mind, have inadvertently and most innocently placed their children in harm’s way.  I don’t say that lightly.  I don’t say that as a mom who did everything right by her children.  But, we Christians can’t just point our fingers at non-Christians and say, “Look!  They are bad!  They let children do whatever they want!”  We can’t just look at Planned Parenthood and say, “Shame on them!  They are cruel!  They wiggle their way into public classrooms to abuse our children!”

We Christian moms and dads must try to be honest.  There is another kind of child abuse.  It is done unintentionally by good parents.  It is done without careful analysis, but for supposedly all the right reasons.  Nevertheless, it is cruel.  It is a form of child abuse.  What would you call starting children in sex ed at an early age, adding more information with every year, putting boys and girls together for intimately graphic conversation and details on birth control, explaining that God wants the act of sex to be saved for marriage, but then telling sons and daughters to wait to marry until after getting their degree and settling into a good job?

We don’t have to unintentionally abuse children.  We can intentionally protect them.  And God tells us how.

He wants parents to teach His definition of love.  In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, God tells what love is: “patient and kind,” and what it isn’t: “arrogant . . . rude, or insistent on its own way.”

Both fathers and mothers can teach sons and daughters to “have nothing to do with silly myths,” but instead “train for godliness.”  (1 Timothy 4:7-10).  We put scholars and athletes through intense training for a purpose.  Similar training is also required for living in a way that pleases God; for running the “race” of life (1 Corinthians 9:24-26).  Parents can contrast “sexual immorality” and “sensuality” with “patience” and “self-control” (Galatians 5:16-24).

Dads or godly mentors can take boys aside to teach them how to respect women.  “Treat older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:1-2).  To practice self-control (Titus 2:6).  Big brothers can guard the virginity of their younger sisters and, if she becomes promiscuous, help her stop (Song of Solomon 8:8-9).

Moms or godly mentors can take girls aside to teach them how to respect and help men.  “. . . [L]et your adorning be . . . beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4-5).  How to dress, and why… “with what is proper for women who profess godliness” (1 Timothy 2:9-10).  How to “be self-controlled and pure” (Titus 2:4-5).

Then, even though the world may ridicule young people for saying “no” to sex, we can encourage them:  Don’t let anyone “despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:11-12).

God also tells us how to welcome our children when they’ve tried, but failed.  We are to welcome our children as He welcomes us.  “Come to Me,” Jesus always says.  Then, He assures us that when “we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Tomorrow, in Christ, is brimming with hope.

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Child Abuse

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , on July 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Why don’t we just admit it.  Child abuse is legal in this country.

We call it sex education.  But, in truth, it is child abuse.  Modern sex education abuses children by stripping them of their innocence.  It sexualizes our children.  Comprehensive sex education incorporates sexuality into language, thinking skills, health, science, and life-style.

Educators and parents (consciously or not) put their trust in a child abuser named Alfred Kinsey.  He is called the father of modern sex education.  Children, he said, are “sexual from birth.”  Few people paid any attention to the fact that Kinsey used known pedaphiles to experiment on children for the purpose of research.  His twisted documentation made its way into textbooks.  Homes.  Churches.  Those who share Kinsey’s disrespect for life and the innocence of children stood ready profit.  To further loosen moral restraints.

Removing the innocence of childhood has created a flourishing market for retailers.  The advertising industry.  Pharmaceutical companies.  Healthcare.  Planned Parenthood.  Who other than this government-subsidized monolith more unashamedly vies for the role of sex educator, pushes all manner of sexual paraphernalia, and then provides abortion services (for a fee, you understand).

I haven’t always used the term “child abuse” to describe sex education.  It was Douglas Gresham, the step-son of C.S. Lewis who helped me see it for what it is.  I had written Gresham to invite him as a speaker for Lutherans For Life.  I happened to mention personal efforts to help my church understand the dangers of sex education.  You are right to do so, he said, because “modern sex education is child abuse.”  Gresham knows what he’s talking about.  He ministers to women who’ve suffered sexual abuse and the loss of life through abortion that often follows years of abuse.  I, too, have heard the painful stories of women who became promiscuous after being exposed to early instruction in sexuality or blatantly sinful abuse.

For years, I traveled here and there speaking to boys, girls, and their parents.  I did not explain the intimacies of sex, but rather the uniqueness of male and female.  This was received as a strange and novel idea.  Maybe not surprising considering that moms and dads had been under the influence of Kinsey, too.  I kept asking: Why would we want to teach our children about all things pertaining to sex before first mentoring them to be boys?  Girls?  On the path to Biblical manhood.  Womanhood.

Churches have failed the youngest generations.  That’s what happens when we are deceived.  Fooled.  The world stands before us, hissing, “Did God really say . . . ?”  We look around to see new trends.  Sophistication.  Contemporary teaching.  Then, we fall into doubt.  We rationalize.  And we play the game.  The world wins when we are distracted from our vocation of instructing children in purity to instead educate them in sex.  So, along with others, I continue to encourage my church to please consider the source of modern sex education.  To refuse to wrap Jesus around worldly opinions and trends.

This mother and grandmother has sensitively-in tune antenna.  I sense, hear, and see that modern sex education is recruitment into sexuality.  Therefore, it is child abuse.

Modern sex education:

  • Is not anatomy class.
  • Fails to guard the innocence of children.
  • Breaks down inhibitions by placing boys and girls together in the same classroom.
  • Instructs children to be “comfortable with their bodies.” (And so they are… with girls having no clue as to why two cups and a thong might attract un-gentlemanly attention.)
  • Tempts children to believe they are, first and foremost, “sexual beings.”

When we believe that we are “sexual beings,” then it only follows that we have the “right” to be “sexual.”  That we “need” to be “sexual.”  And, in today’s culture, no one should deny “my rights.”  No one should deny “my needs.”  Well, here’s the truth that I will continue to proclaim: We are — first and foremost — human beings, made in the image of God and, although fallen from that image, we are called to holy living as a man or a woman.  Equal, but different.  Can you imagine how that changes the way we see ourselves and others?  The choices we make?  The way we treat one another?

The media and the general public is angry when a priest sexually abuses a child.  We should be.  But, where is our righteous anger when children fall under the tutorage of Planned Parenthood?   SIECUS?  LGBT and GLSEN-approved textbooks?  Projects such as “It Gets Better,” the “bullying” program initiated by homosexual advocate and leading “sex-advice” columnist Dan Savage?  (Warning: All of these sites are graphic.)

Children are not on this earth for our use.  They are gifts from God.  They are treasures of Jesus Christ.  I stand on this truth as a woman.  A mother.  A grandmother.  Try to prove me wrong.  Take your case before the Creator.  Question your reasons for defending sex education and the source of your information.

Educating children in sex is cruel.  It is a far cry from a parent’s role to instruct sons and daughters in purity.  Remembering our own mistakes, we may fear for our children, but comprehensive sex education does not protect young hearts, minds and souls.  Instruction in purity does.  It allows us to protect our children in ways we, perhaps, were not.

What can a parent do?  For starters, teach boys what it means to be a man.  Girls what it means to be a woman.  There are only two sexes, equal but different.  Teach respect for both.  Resist falling for the lie that “experts” know better how to raise your children.  Help children and teens set goals.  Discuss the consequences of choices. Remind them that their bodies are not their own to do with as they please, but creations of God and valued at high price (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

There is a time for everything.  Childhood is a time for innocence.  Therefore, keep the fence up and the gate closed.

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Squelch Pride, Return to Word

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »

A friend of mine has been trying to get the attention of her church.   Today, after nearly 14 years, God made it possible for her to speak to a small group of church leaders.  To make her plea.  To provide well-documented evidence giving justified reasons for her concern.  I prayed for listening ears.  Open hearts and minds.

I share my friend’s concern.  Motivation.  Perseverance.  Our experiences are different, but our conclusion the same.  That is:  Christians have been taken captive to the ways of modern sex education.  Nowhere in Scripture does God say to “educate in sex.”  He does tell parents to “instruct” in “purity.”  Guard the innocence of youth.  Mentor Biblical manhood and womanhood.   I want the church to be distinctively different from the world.  As it should be.  But, making this request of the institutional church is costly.  My friend knows.  She and her family have paid a high price.

I, too, recognize the cost.  Involvement.  Thirty years of researching, serving on boards and committees, writing, traveling the country, meeting with young and old,  listening to people suffering a wrong choice, and being a voice of hope.  Those who didn’t understand thought me odd.  Well-meaning folk suggested I “lighten up.”  But, the more I contrasted the world with God’s Word, the more convicted I became.  I couldn’t “lighten up.”  Not when boys and girls have their innocence stripped from them.   Not when educators try to wrap Jesus around Kinsey.  Not when parents or grandparents who’ve suffered the consequences of worldly ideology ask for my help in warning a younger generation.  But, pointing out an error in teaching troubles the teacher.   No one wants to hear that wrong teaching, no matter how well-intentioned or Gospel-wrapped, hurts children.  Makes them more vulnerable.   The whistle-blower risks being called a fool.  A simpleton.  Out of step.  There is much resistance.

Why?  Perhaps the greatest reason is pride.  Years ago, while serving on a sanctity of life task force, I was given opportunity to meet with men of influence.  I expressed concern that legalized abortion had greased the slope to euthanasia and offered documentation of the growing acceptance among Christians of “mercy killing” and “assisted suicide.”  I was silenced by a kindly church leader who told me not to concern myself.  His words were like a pat on the knee.  “You’re just a homemaker,” he said.  “You let us take care of this.”

Pride.  The pride of education.  Position.  Initials before or behind one’s name.  But, the saying is true: Pride goes before the fall.  It certainly did in the Garden of Eden.

The day came when I was confronted by a church “expert” on all things pertaining to sex.  He stood with arms crossed.  Feet planted.  Taller than me.  “So,” he said.  “I understand you have concerns about my work.”  Who was I to respond to him?  Would he, a driving force behind Christian sex education, listen to a homemaker?  A mom?  A lay-person?  His stature was intimidating, but I managed one small request.  “Please.” I said, “Guard the boundaries of modesty.  Teach what it means to be a boy or a girl first… before educating in sex.”

Pride puts well-meaning people on the defense.  Even after a “good” person has been deceived, pride says, “Hey!  I know what I’m doing here.  And, because I’m a Christian, I will do right.”  Well, that’s what Chuck Colson said before he was neck-deep in Watergate.  In his new DVD series, Doing the Right Thing, Colson admits to thinking that because he was a Christian, he couldn’t be deceived.  Couldn’t fall to wrong choices.  That’s a different sort of pride, isn’t it?  Is this also true for Christians who associate with the theory of sex education?

It isn’t that that Christian leaders want to do wrong.  They simply do what they should not and don’t do what they should.  (Sound familiar?)  Perhaps these leaders believe themselves Christian enough to stand strong.  To sort the good from the bad.   But, the deceiver is always at work.  Deception comes at the university, in study groups, on the internet, at the coffee-house,  and in animated discussion with intelligent but secular friends.   Well-intentioned Christians can actually be duped into wrapping Jesus around worldly ideology.  Sophistication.  Progressivism.  But, the Word doesn’t wrap around the world.  Jesus doesn’t… won’t… can’t wrap Himself around the world.  Jesus is the Way and the Truth and the Life.  He is Light upon the world’s darkness.

A “good” Christian leader knows this.  But, pride is an ugly monster.  As pride swells, we dig in.  We go on the defense even as we begin to feel the prick of conscience.  There is guilt when one realizes that something intended to be straight was built on a crooked foundation.  When wrong teaching or practice has coursed its way through curricula, workshops, conferences, sermons, counseling sessions, books, and media.

But, most amazingly, there is hope.  There is always hope, even in the midst of error and sin.  In humility we are strengthened by the Spirit of God who lives in us.  We can allow the alarm to sound.  We can express shame and regret.  We can apologize for wrong teaching.  We can ask for and receive forgiveness.

We can squelch pride and return to the Word.

For related topics, see “Jesus Doesn’t Wrap “Silly Myths”  (10-1-10), “1988” (1-22-11), “The Body is Our House” (1-24-11), “Damage Control,” (1-26-11), “Choices Affect Our Attitude Toward God” (2-9-11), “Too Long at the Animal Circus” (3-23-11), “Unhooked and Set Free” (5-17-11), “Unhooked: Part II” (5-18-11), “Men and the Monogamy Molecule” (5-18-11), and “Were Moms Hooked, Too?” (5-18-11)

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Men & the Monogamy Molecule

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Maura and Nichole don’t know about oxytocin.  But, Matt doesn’t know about vasopressin.  Women are not the only ones who bond during sexual intimacy.

Vasopressin is the neurochemical responsible for the male brain response and synaptic change.  It plays a role in regulating blood pressure and, through its influence on kidney function, regulates fluid in the body.  In relationships, vasopressin works to bond a man to a woman and create attachment to his offspring.

Vasopressin is often referred to as the “monogamy molecule.”  Why?  Because it appears to be the primary cause of a man’s attachment to a woman with whom he shares close and intimate physical contact.  The God who creates and loves life has provided a way for the human race to survive.  This “monogamy molecule” is important not just to create a bond with a woman, but with the children that come from that bond.  In the healthy and selfless bond of husband and wife, children have a greater chance of being raised by two biological parents — both of whom are attached to those children.  Such attachment provides sons and daughters with an increased chance of better health and a more hopeful future.

If Matt is physically intimate with a woman — wisely or unwisely — he can bond with her.  If Matt is unwise in his choice, the bond may lead to a long-term, but unhealthy and destructive relationship.  Bonding may tie Matt to a woman who disrespects or abuses him.  It wouldn’t be unusual for Matt to keep going back to a woman who treats him poorly and, if asked, he wouldn’t know why he does it.  Simply put, vasopressin floods a man’s brain (just like oxytocin floods a woman’s brain) and produces a partial bond with every sexual partner.

Men, like women, can become addicted to the “rush” of sexual intimacy.  But, being sexually intimate with many women places at risk the vital ability to develop a healthy, long-term attachment to one woman.  Studies show that the brain can “mold and gel” so that, in time, it begins accepting that particular sexual pattern as normal.  Such a pattern, however, “seems to interfere with the development of the neurological circuits  necessary for the long-term relationships that for most people result in stable marriages and family development.  The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bond in a committed relationship.”  (p. 43 of Hooked by Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr., M.D., and Freda McKissic Bush, M.D.)

“The inability to bond after multiple sexual encounters,” writes Drs. McIlhaney and McKissic Bush, “is almost like tape that loses its stickiness after being applied and removed multiple times.”

Matt’s brain is the most powerful sexual organ in his body.  But, in keeping with God’s design, the brain needs to be used, molded and adapted in the right ways — for life — or, with wrong behavior, parts of it will wither and die.  Perhaps, for this reason, God’s Word says in Deuteronomy 30:19-20:

I set before you life and death, blessing and curse.  Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying His voice and holding fast to Him . . .”

Shame on adults who tempt Matt.  Who open the gates to adventures in sex, but fail to explain his “monogamy molecule.”  Who keep from Matt God’s Word for life.  Who ignore the lesson of the sticky tape.

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Were Moms Hooked, Too?

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, Vocation, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I could always count on the questions.  After each presentation on purity, girls — often shy, sometimes bold — would ask questions.  About boys.  Themselves.  Relationships.  Love.  Mothers brought their daughters to these events, but often stayed in the background.

Mothers were also in the audiences of the “lifestyle show” Judy Hayen and I took on the road.  The event, titled “Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up,” gave opportunity to address the consequences of “sexy” dress, casual attitudes about intimacy, and risky behaviors.  Clothing is fun.  But, whose idea is it?  Why does the Designer of clothing say we need more than fig leaves?  Why shouldn’t a boys hand go under a girls clothes?  The “lifestyle” show concluded with the perfect dress: the white wedding dress and why we wait to wear it.  It wasn’t the girls but the mothers who had tears in their eyes.  I know, I know.  Wedding dresses bring tears of joy to many moms.  But, I believe I also saw tears of disappointment and regret.  I know the statistics.  Too many don’t wait to wear the white wedding dress because oxytocin, not necessarily love, makes us warm and tingly.

Dozens of women have shared their abortion choices with me.  These choices were made after a touch.  A kiss.  Then the procreative act.   Oxytocin flipped the love circuit in their female brain.  There is trust.   A bond.  But physical contact and the oxytocin response it generates can blind women to a bad relationships.  These women, years after their abortions, explain to me tears of  failure.  Psychological trauma.  Heartache.  Loss.  Spiritual grief.

What were women who became mothers — of living or dead children — told about oxytocin?  What choices did they make because they weren’t told?  What were the consequences?  Is there a reason to keep from our daughters and granddaughters knowledge about their bodies?  How they are designed to function?  And why?

We are not captive to mistakes of the past.  They are forgiven because of Jesus Christ.  His death and resurrection are victory over every sin.  All we need to do is be sorry for our sins and confess them to God.  Then, in Christ, we are set free.  We are new every morning.  In Christ, we have the hope of better choices.  This hope is for daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and a neighborhood of girls.

God made oxytocin because He loves life.  He created one man to bond with one woman in marriage for life.  He joins with husband and wife in the procreational act of sex to bring new life.  He entrusts each new boy or girl to the nurture and instruction of their mom and dad.  With all of this, there is a future. There is hope.

Seems to me all ezerwomen should be talking about this.

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Unhooked & Set Free: Part I

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2011| 1 Comment »

Maura, a young and spirited woman, invited me into her life.   She seems to welcome the experience of age and expresses the need for a “mother” figure.  Maura is intelligent.  More mature than most her age.  She has a tangible dream and works hard in college.  Maura displays all the normal feelings and emotions that come with being female.  But, there is more.  Wisdom speaks to Maura through her conscience.  The answers to my questions consistently reveal that Maura delights in all things of God… but, she is “hooked” to her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend’s words of love cause Maura to feel special.  He has demands.  She tries to please.    The warmth of his embrace encourages her loyalty.  But, his lack of commitment makes her vulnerable.  She isn’t sure how he really feels about her because his attention is easily distracted away from her.  She hopes the relationship will change.

Time passes between our visits.  We have talked at length about our identity as creations of God, so every now and then, I remind her of her value by mail or text.  Maura almost always responds with a request: “Can we get together?”  At lunch or on a walk, she brings me up to date.  She is busy with work and studies.  When the conversation turns to relationships, Maura smiles when she talks about her dad.  “I’m happy when I’m with him.  I feel safe at home.”  But, when I inquire about her boyfriend, Maura’s smile always fades.

During our last visit, Maura seemed less confident.  More sad.  She uttered not one positive or hopeful word about her boyfriend.  “So,” I asked, “why do you stay with him?”  Her shoulders drooped.  She stared past me for a few seconds.  Sighed.  Then shuttered.  “He isn’t good for me,” she confessed.  “But, it’s so very strange.  The more time I spend with my boyfriend, the more I need to be with him.”

The honesty of our friendship compelled me to take a deep breath… then look into her eyes.  “Maura, you’ve fallen into a bad habit.  You’re hooked.”  Tears that flowed were evidence of the tug-of-war for Maura’s heart.  Mind. And soul.

Maura is “hooked” not because she is uneducated, but because she is wrongly educated.  The culture has told her: “We are sexual from birth.”  (What does this mean?)   Maura is “hooked” not because she missed out on “Sex 101” but because she was encouraged at a young age to “be comfortable with” her “sexuality.”  Maura is “hooked” not because she is rebellious, but because she followed the rule: “Be responsible by practicing safe sex.”

Planned Parenthood-style sex education instructs in the act of sex, sexual fantasy, contraception, abortion, self-pleasure, gender role stereotypes, sexual diversity, HIV/AIDS and other sexually-transmitted diseases.  Maura’s well-meaning school, counselors, and adult mentors probably followed SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S.) guidelines, thus believing they had provided everything Maura and her peers needed to know.

Sex education seems comprehensive, doesn’t it?  Would appear to reveal all the facts, right?  Then why is Maura, like countless other young women, in conflict with herself?  Why is her soul troubled?  Does her heart ache?  Are her thoughts confused?   Because, observe physicians, psychologists, and biologists, some vital information has been kept from Maura and her generation.  I agree.  Truth has been withheld.  That truth is: Male and female are different.

Militant feminists deny this difference.  They’ve been working feverishly to repress this difference so that women can shed their role of “helper” and, instead, compete with men.   So, everything girlish and womanly is minimized, managed, and sadly misguided.  No one informed Maura that her female brain predisposes her to yearn for love, understanding, connection, and communication.  No one informed Maura that her chemistry promotes attachment and trust of her boyfriend.  No one told Maura that her female wiring causes her to take risks by overlooking her boyfriend’s shortcomings.  Maura’s unique physiological vulnerability to intimate behavior was never explained because that would be a “gender stereotype.”

Maura knows her relationship isn’t what it should be.  As a Christian, she knows it isn’t what God desires for her.  But, even if she wasn’t a Christian, she would sense that something was wrong.  What is wrong is that educators in “sexuality” have failed girls and boys.

As a “helper,” I have promised not to fail my young friend by fooling her.  Or manipulating her.  There is one truth for Maura… and all the rest of us.  It is the truth of our design.  Divine design.  This design by God is evidenced by our anatomy.  Pure biology and scientific study.

Sure.  This messed up world complicates everything.  We may be “hooked” into harmful relationships.  But, Maura matters.  So, we are discussing a new life — unhooked and set free.  Set free to be all she was created to be.

(Recommended reading: You’re Teaching My Child What? by Miriam Grossman, M.D.)

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Too Long at the Animal Circus

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, Relationships, Sexy or holy?, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2011| 3 Comments »

Sexual gratification rules.  Sex — any type, any time, with anyone — is the ultimate freedom.  Sex rules the marketplace, classroom, court of law, and military.  Sex is the one “right” above all others.  Why?  Because Kinsey said so.   “Children,” said Kinsey, “are sexual from birth.”  In other words, according to Kinsey and his followers, we are animal-like beings captive to sexual desires, urges, and feelings.

Progressive people everywhere already knew they were “animal-like.”  Why?  Because Darwin said so.  Anyone feeling inhibited by a Creator God now had “license” to do as they pleased.  Piggy-backing (how animal-like!) on the theory of Darwin, Kinsey plunged into “scientific” study with the goal of breaking down all sexual inhibitions Kinsey’s “scientific” study has been exposed as fraudulent and criminal.  (You can discover why by reading “Kinsey: Crimes and Consequences” or visiting Dr. Judith Reisman.)  Nevertheless, a psychologically twisted and sexually deviant Kinsey was granted “license” to move a culture away from guarding innocence and protecting boundaries of modesty to educate in all manner of sex.   The animal circus went on the road.

Progressive and enlightened Christians filed God’s Word on sexual purity under “religious myths” and joined the animal circus.  Willingly, or unwillingly, they became “animal trainers.”   If you really cared about a child, parents and educators were told, you would help a young, “evolving” conscience become “comfortable” with sexual desires, urges, and feelings.  At least four generations have been educated in all manner of sexual behavior, but left clueless about what it means to be male or female.

We’ve been too long at the animal circus.  The evidence explains why.

  • Young women suffer a variety of sexually transmitted diseases, sterility, and depression following casual sexual encounters.  (Visit Dr. Miriam Grossman or read her book, “Unprotected.”)
  • Young men and women are “brain damaged” and addicted to sex.  (Visit Dr. Joe McIlhaney or read his book, “Hooked.”)
  • Husbands and wives, each having partnered intimately with others prior to marriage, are having difficulty bonding — relating, communicating, and working as a team for the sake of their children.
  • High school and college-aged girls admit they feel “more free” and sexually unbounded, but also admit to being “less happy” and “content.”
  • Girls raised in Christian homes demand the “right” to “shower together” at camps and retreats; some go further by experimenting with bi-sexual and lesbian lifestyles.  (These examples from personal testimonies.)

We’ve been too long at the animal circus.  Darwin, Kinsey, Margaret Sanger (Planned Parenthood), and others who’ve wanted to re-wire the minds of our children have trained long enough.  Their education has mentored boys and girls to be sexual, not relational; all about me, rarely about others; empty, not filled; hopeless, not hopeful.

The church — the Body of Christ — stands guilty.  To be more attractive to the world, we adapted the ways of circus trainers.  As long as Jesus was part of sex education, our sons and daughters would be all right — or so we thought.  But, Jesus does not wrap Himself around worldly ideas.  (See post of October 1, 2010 in the ezerwoman archives.)

Is there hope?  Yes.  Away from the animal circus.

God didn’t create us to be “sexual beings.”  That is not our identity.  He created us to be human beings who reflect His glory by living life as male or female. According to His design, male and female are equal, but different.  Our “plumbing” is different.  The way we think, love, and communicate is different.  God’s Word explains the meaning and purpose of the two genders/sexes.  His Word explains why we need each other and how to treat each other.  Then, when the time is right, God “fits” a man and a woman together in the faithfulness of marriage.  Through the act of procreational sex, God brings new life into the world.

We are not animal-like beings captive to sexual desires, feelings, and perceived “needs.”  We are, by creation, persons of great worth with minds, hearts, and souls able to control emotions and feelings.

Away from the animal circus, we are better able to see children as God sees them.  Sons and daughters… on their way to a future of hope as men and women.   Husbands and wives.   Fathers and mothers.  Grandparents.

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Jesus Doesn’t Wrap “Silly Myths”

Posted in Biblical manhood & womanhood, Culture Shifts, Faith & Practice, Identity, Life issues, Parenting & Education, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 1, 2010| Leave a Comment »

When did God say, “Educate children in sex”?  I challenge you to find this passage in Scripture.  While you’re looking, you will find an opposing thought.  Parents are to train their children in purity.  The theme of purity is woven throughout Old Testament and New.

When our sons were in elementary school, I purchased a series of “sex education” books from a Christian publisher.  Something about them troubled me, so I put them on the shelf.  I found a better substitute — chivalry and more about biology than “sexuality”.  Of course, there was no substitute for the Bible.  I was amazed to see how much God had to say about training in purity.  I began to contrast God’s Word with “sex ed” textbooks and resources.  The teachings were world’s apart.

The question for me was this: Which worldview was best for children?  Some years later, speaking nationwide to teens and their parents, I realized why I had been uncomfortable with Christian-wrapped “sex ed” material.   Jesus does not wrap Himself around worldly ideas.

“Sex education” is not a Biblical teaching.  It is the idea of Alfred Kinsey who coined the phrase “children are sexual from birth.”  Too late, his criminal and fradulous research was exposed.  Opinions had been shaped — in education, media, and even courts of law.  If we define ourselves as “sexual” (with “needs” to be met), or “sexy” (“it’s our right”), then that’s how we’ll live.  Our Creator God defines us differently (Genesis 1:27):

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

The first man and woman were made in God’s perfect image.  God defines Himself as “Holy.”  Therefore, God called the bearers of His image not to a “sexy” life, but to a holy life.  We all fell from perfection when sin corrupted God’s perfect image-bearers, but His original design for male and female did not change.  We are called and equipped by God to be holy (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).  Unlike animals, we are not captive to our sexual desires.  Our bodies (knitted together by God) and our lives (held in His arms) are not our own.  They were “bought with a price” (1 Corinthians 6:20).  That price is the blood of Jesus Christ.  In Jesus, we are forgiven and set free to pursue what is good, right, and holy.

God created male and female, not to bring glory to themselves, but to Him.  We do this best when we realize that God does not define us as “sexy” or instruct us to call attention to ourselves; rather, He defines us as “holy” people who help our neighbors see God.

God’s Word says,

Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths.  Rather, train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.  The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance.  To this end we toil and strive . . .

This passage from 1 Timothy 4: 7-10a tells me that Jesus can’t be wrapped around unholy and “silly myths.”  It is impossible for Truth to wrap Himself around foolish and destructive philosophy and practice.  Certainly, as the passage above notes, we have to “toil and strive” because disconnecting ourselves from worldly influence is extremely difficult.  It threatens to sap the energy right out of the most persistent Christian.  Still, every father, mother, grandparent, pastor, teacher, and mentor is obligated by God’s Word to train children in purity.  To do otherwise is to remove the protective boundaries of modesty and send vulnerable children to wolves — big and bold or dressed in sheep’s clothing.

Jesus doesn’t wrap around modern sex education.  He can’t.  He is the Word of purity, modesty and humility.  For this reason, His Word tells elder brothers that they have the responsibility to guard the purity of their younger sisters (Song of Solomon 8:8-9).  If the little sister is a wall (virtuous), they are to help protect her chastity.  If she has fallen into sin and is like a door (swaying open to promiscuity and harmful choices), then they are to do what they can to rescue her, call her to repentance, and put a stop to her sinful behavior.

Jesus contrasts the world.  He is Light; the world is dark.  He is Truth; the world is myth and changing opinion.  Jesus, the Word, tells us: Do “not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 3:5b).  We must not disregard the order that pleases God.  It is His design — for the good of all — that love be stirred, awakened, and fulfilled only in marriage between one man and one woman.

So, I challenge you to answer one question: Which practice is compatible with Jesus?

  1. Boys and girls brought together in a classroom, not to study anatomy, but to “ease inhibitions” and “comfortably” discuss all manner of “sexuality” (with timid caution to wait until marriage… following graduation, college, and establishment of career); or,
  2. Boys and girls taught separately to honor God’s created order and equal, but different sexes (two genders); mentored in Biblical manhood and womanhood; equipped for the battle with temptation; and age-appropriately helped to understand God’s design for procreation between one man and one woman in marriage.

Jesus is Truth.  Truth cannot wrap Himself around unholy and “silly myths.”  To protect children from wolves (big and bold or dressed as sheep), Jesus guards walls of virtue.  He rescues the hurt and repentant after doors have swung open.  He tells me to do the same.

This is the love of Him who holds young ones in such high esteem.

(Looking for a resource?  You may order “The Failure of Sex Education,” a little book I wrote for Christian parents, from www.lutheransforlife.org )

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